by TC Rybicki
Willow found out his name, Flynn. That was the name he gave her when he tried to climb into bed with her because he was so shit-faced he came into the wrong room. Her screams alerted him about the mistake. Now Willow was having trouble falling back to sleep because creepy Flynn asked her if she was sure she didn’t want to let him stay after all; he liked a good screamer.
Willow tried to sleep with no luck. Her suitcase blocked the door hoping that was sufficient to halt any further mistakes. The phone rang a few more times than she expected. Maybe Dutch hadn’t overreacted and was giving her a girls’ weekend without panic.
“Wills. Fuck. Are you there? Where the hell have you been?”
“I’m here at the hotel and I’m okay.”
“Oh, really, well let me get off with the local sheriff, and tell him before he sends a deputy over there for a welfare check since I couldn’t file a missing person’s report yet.” She was kidding herself. Of course, Dutch overreacted. He came back in ten seconds, “Are you really okay?”
“Yes, I can explain. It wasn’t on purpose. My phone died. I thought it was charging, but this plug is dead, and then Kit wouldn’t drop the bar thing. I was trapped. And it was terrible. I grabbed shitty take out and came back to the resort alone. I finally figured out where to charge my phone and planned to call, but I fell asleep. Then the guy showed up and now I can’t sleep. You were right. I was wrong. She’s an awful friend. I love her, but Kit’s the worst.
“Back up, a guy showed up! When? Where?”
“Trying to get in bed with me.”
“What the fuck? I’ll kill him. Who is he?”
“No idea, but his name is Flynn. Kit brought him back to the resort. It’s fine, he was creepy but in a nice way. I think he might be nice when he’s sober. Honestly, he was the only decent man in the place other than the bartender who looked out for me and asked about the baby. He’s a new father.”
“Slow down. You’re not making sense. Babe, you sure you’re okay? I hope no one slipped anything in your drink. You sound loopy. This is even worse than I thought it would be.”
“I know, right? If you’re keeping score, you won. I’m sorry. I wanted to be with my friend. She’s been down since that last guy and she never gives me a straight answer about what happened.”
“I can see why you trusted her; she was so stable before any of her old relationship drama. By the way, an old man in Destin, Florida has her phone.”
“She changed her number. I forgot to mention that.”
Dutch told her to wait, he was grabbing his laptop to buy her a plane ticket home. Willow couldn’t do that, she’d promised Constance. So, he complained another twenty minutes. She let him rant since he’d been worried about her all night. If she was going to work, Kit had to follow the rules and no more overnight guests. It was ridiculous for her to bring strangers into a place that Willow was paying for.
“Are you done?”
“Nope, I’m just getting started. I can’t stand her.”
Willow wanted her two best friends to get along but knew straight away it would never happen. It shouldn’t matter much since they rarely crossed paths, but Willow wondered how things might change once the baby arrived. Would he get as possessive over his child? She had ideas about standing up to him and make sure things like that weren’t his decision, but uncertainty kept her mouth shut.
“So, you can’t be tempted to come back to me?”
Willow laughed, “It’s a long weekend not a lifetime. Besides, there’s something I need to do.”
“Yes, restaurants, lovers’ hideaways and lonely beaches because Kit will be doing her own thing. I don’t like it, Wills. Not one bit.”
She’d vacationed completely alone countless times. Maybe the baby was making him extra possessive. God help her, she smiled when he acted like this. Then Willow thought about her true mission on this trip. She’d waited long enough; it was time to tell him the truth.
“Dutch, there’s an extra reason not work-related that I came to South Carolina.”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“Rain is here. Well, not exactly. It’s about a forty-five-minute drive, so I should try to sleep.”
“Rain? As in the Rain that gave birth to you, but gave you to that freak of a cult leader?”
“Yes. Constance has a guy, Sims, I’ve mentioned him before. He’s the company’s fact- researcher. I swear, he’s a genius. He can find anyone. He found Stone as well, but he’s been in so much trouble his entire life and he’s far north in upstate New York the last time he was arrested. I have no plans to seek him out, but Rain appears to have settled down. She is remarried and living a somewhat normal life. I need to see her.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. I’ll be a mother soon. I need to hear her side of the story.”
“How about she was a shit parent, end of story. Momma was practically your mother from day one. I don’t understand. You’re nothing like Rain, she was never your role model. This seems like extra stress you and the baby don’t need. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”
“You would’ve tried to talk me out of it.”
“You’re damn right I would. I still am. Don’t go.”
“I have to do this, Dutch, even if my reasons don’t make sense to you. Dawn understands, so does Carly and she is estranged with her mother.”
“Great. You confided in the rest of the family, but not me.”
“It wasn’t like that and I get it. You wouldn’t be the Dutch I know and love if you weren’t adamantly forbidding this, but I’m going to be fine. Trust me. It’s time to close this chapter on my past. I love you.”
“I miss you, Wills. I should be with you for this.”
“You are. I carry a piece of you everywhere now, remember?”
They talked a few more minutes about her plan and what she expected to gain from this confrontation. In the end, he supported her despite his worry. That is all she could ask. Willow fell asleep with the phone in one hand while the other rested against their child. She prayed for peace not understanding. Hopefully, the reunion would be what she needed.
Kit and her new friend were starting to stir around the kitchenette when Willow grabbed the keys on her way out. They both apologized for the previous night. Kit laughed about Flynn’s mistake. She admitted she didn’t know why she was apologizing but she figured she messed up somehow.
“You did. I went to bed with heartburn. When I get back, I’m picking all our activities.”
“Deal. Make it early but not too early though. Flynn and I are making some plans as well.”
That was odd. Willow didn’t expect Kit to latch onto a random guy on vacation for more than a few hours. She might not feel like anything festive the rest of the day after seeing Rain. She told them to not wait around for her. Willow brought books. She could read on the beach until sunset or take a nap. Sleep sounded nice after so little the night before.
She drove all the way to Bayboro in silence thinking about her introduction and pretend conversation with the woman that never wanted to be called mom. In the end she decided to play it by ear because this was going to be a surprise visit. Sims found a phone number, but Willow never called. She wasn’t going to give Rain a chance to disappear again. Willow spoke to her once during the trial and that was it. She didn’t even remember the exact words, but they were something like, ‘you have made a mess of so many lives.’
That memory was almost enough to make her follow Dutch’s advice and turn around. It had confirmed that Rain blamed Willow for the raid and subsequent arrests. She was a kid. After circling around the small community filled mostly of Baptist churches and cemeteries, Willow regained her nerve. She found the small ranch style with the correct house numbers on the corner. It was well-maintained and homey, nothing like their old shack. Rain made a new life for herself. So, did Willow, but she still needed this meeting.
She knocked three times quickly and waited at the door with the screen door
propped against her backside. The door clicked as if someone was unlocking it and then it opened.
The two women stared a few seconds. Willow didn’t need confirmation; she knew without a doubt the older lady who looked way older than Dawn now was her flesh and blood mother. The years had clung to her in several places, deep wrinkles, gray hair and a fuller mid-section, but Rain was dressed well and looked healthy.
“May I help you?”
“Um, yes, Rain…”
A puzzled look came over her mother, “Excuse me.”
“Are you?”
She interrupted Willow, “I’m Loraine Lester. Who are you looking for?”
Willow never knew her real name was Loraine. She knew little about this woman and it was clear to her that she also did not recognize her own daughter.
“Oh, well, hello. I’m looking for you. It’s me, Willow.”
Present day-South Carolina
Thank God for small crowds mid-autumn in South Carolina. Doug spotted her right away. Willow’s last text mentioned she wanted to unwind with a book by the ocean. She didn’t say much about her visit with Rain, but he sensed the meeting took a toll on her. Good thing he had already booked a flight the second she insisted on seeing her sad excuse of a mother. Dutch kept the news to himself. This should have been the plan all along, a weekend for them not one reserved for Kit, the self-absorbed twit.
Willow could easily lose herself in a good story. She never sensed his approach. Doug wanted to have a little fun, give her a laugh. His knees hit the sand behind her beach chair quieter than the wind swirling in the air. She gripped her book close to her face so there was zero awareness until he slipped his arms around her to pat her growing bump. She was in her sixteenth week now, but not the least bit huge.
Dutch changed his voice, “Mind if I rub your belly for luck, pretty lady?”
The book fell to ground and Willow sprang from her seat. Doug doubled over in laughter. He expected a slap or scream, but not such quick reflexes. She hadn’t moved that fast since her track days.
Once she recognized it was him, the screaming commenced. “Dutch! Are you crazy? Where did you come from? Why are you here?”
“I come from Atlanta, Georgia, and I’m here because I missed you. My insanity has never been proven or disproven, but I’m kinda crazy about you.”
Willow covered her face with her hands, “This is real. You’re here.” He reached for her, but she slapped his hand away. He knew her so well, but she wasn’t always predictable. “Idiot.” The tears followed. Doug didn’t let her push him away that time. He pulled her into a tight embrace.
“Don’t cry, Wills, unless you need to let it out, I guess.” Doug assumed she was emotional because of her mother or hormones or Kit. It could’ve been all of the above.
She bawled against his shoulder a few more minutes before she made any sense. “I thought… we promised. I mean, I promised not to let anyone touch me, and I thought I broke my promise.”
“Aw, baby, no. Sorry, I wasn’t thinking. It was only me. It’s okay. I thought it was funnier than saying surprise.”
Willow pushed him away, “You’re such a jerk.” He shrugged. Doug had been called worse, “But you’re my jerk. I’m so glad you’re here. Can you stay?”
“Of course. I’m here to help you find all the romantic places for couples for your blog.” He wriggled his eyebrows, “The first place we should visit is my room.”
Willow rested her head against Doug’s chest. “Sold. This is hands down the best South Carolina has to offer. Do you think I could do a blog post: Find you a sexy man and never leave the room?”
“Sure, feel free to give me a cool pseudonym like Dirk.”
“Simmer down, I was only joking.”
“I wasn’t.”
Wills rolled her eyes. “Figures. Well, do you wanna know how the visit went?”
“Only if you want to talk about it.”
She insisted on calling Kit since they moved all Willow’s things out of the other room when Kit was nowhere to be found. Doug didn’t think Wills owed her an explanation, but she invited them to dinner at 7:30. They were both disappointed Kit said she and her new friend would be there.
“So, I get to meet Flynn? This should be fun.”
“He apologized for last night, so don’t do anything. Nothing happened.”
Doug didn’t make any promises. She had no idea the faces that had been punched throughout the years over her honor and his insane jealous streak. Willow worried if he fought. She looked out for his hands long before he was a real surgeon. He stared at their threaded fingers, still feeling the after-effects of their intense lovemaking. How could he have been so close to this most of his life, but so far from it at the same time? Whenever he thought about being with her for real, a lump settled in his throat. It was supposed to be a onetime thing and now it seemed they didn’t know how to stop. There was also that pressing issue, he never wanted it to either.
Willow told him about the drive and the conflicting emotions. She paused before she explained how Rain didn’t recognize her. She might have been bullshitting her, but either way, he thought it was sickening. She either didn’t remember her daughter, or she pretended she didn’t. He listened without interruption. It wasn’t Doug’s strong suit, but he had to let Wills get it out. She held back these feelings two decades or perhaps her entire life.
Doug held her while she talked and cried, “You’re not saying much.”
“I wasn’t there, honey. This is your story.”
“That’s never stopped you before. You hate her.”
“I hate what she did.”
“Well, she was nice and polite, but not exactly apologetic. I guess that would make her face the harsh reality of what almost happened. All she said was, she was a kid that had a kid and she took a lot of drugs. They all did. She tried to change the subject and show me photos of her step-children not seeing the irony in that. I don’t want to hear about her life raising someone else’s kids, or that she is normal now. I’m glad I went and made her at least a little uncomfortable.”
“You think so?”
“Yeah, I do. She had a difficult time looking in my eyes.”
“Wow, that’s my favorite place on earth, swimming in those blue eyes of yours.”
Willow kissed his cheek. “You’re my favorite place, lately.”
“Lately, don’t you mean always?” She frowned at him. “Kidding. So, she’s guilty as fuck. Good, she should be. Bet that’s why she avoided eye contact. Will you speak to her again?”
“I doubt it. I mean, she knows a little about me now: the blog, Savannah, the baby.”
“What? No way, why’d you give away that secret?”
“I look it, don’t I? I hid my bag in front of me, but then she asked if I married and had kids. It felt strange to lie, so I told her how far along I was with my first. She didn’t get excited or anything. More like ‘that’s nice, but you’re alone?’”
Wills stopped talking, so Dutch pressed her, “And?”
“And I changed the subject like she’d done several times to me because I didn’t know how to answer that.”
“Let’s clear one thing up right now; you’re not alone, but it’s not any of her goddamn business.” She quieted again, “Willow. You are not alone.”
“I’m not? Right this moment I’m not, but we said…”
He covered her lips with his finger. “We’re living without labels, so don’t search for one.” Doug changed the subject this time, “So was that it?”
“Pretty much. Once I said I had to get back to work, she didn’t say much else. And like I told you there wasn’t a real apology, but right before I left her front porch she showed a little emotion. ‘He promised it would be a spiritual marriage, and I believed him. He’d never touched the underage girls before. No one questioned him all the time I lived in the commune. Well, there was one, but she got away. You were always more of a bird than a tree. I should have named you Robin. I kn
ew if I let you wander, one day it would be far enough that you kept going. Take care, Willow.’”
Doug felt a chill run up his spine. Rain wanted Willow to leave. He never could figure out that garbage she’d tell Wills about finding her own path at ten and eleven years old.
“We should have gotten you out of there sooner. Even your mother tried to push you toward freedom, it seems.”
“No, I left when I was supposed to.”
“But Wills, what happened to you affected you for a long time.”
“Yes, and I guess it still does deep down, but every experience shapes us into who we’re meant to be.”
Doug did his best to be nice at dinner. He surprised himself and was friendly with Flynn. He made a drunken mistake and apologized to Wills the next day. The poor guy was clearly into Kit. On the surface, it was easy to understand but any guy with a brain would have to dump that self-absorbed bitch sooner rather than later.
Kit and Dutch took turns with insults. They usually friendly flirted to avoid their actual disdain for one another. Wills tried to insist her friend had a crush on him that she talked about his hotness many times. It was bullshit. Kit was only jealous of Wills and wanted to make her jealous in return. Neither one of them ever told her the truth about their underlying feelings, but he suspected Kit knew somehow. Chicks had a sixth sense about these things. He noticed weird vibes and tension from her plenty of times. He still did not want Kit to know the truth about the baby. Doug liked having that precious secret between him and Wills even though he now had to share the news with his family. Willow was right about that, but the rest of the world could be in the dark.