by Carrie Elks
‘Dammit.’ Charlie pursed his lips. ‘That’s no fun.’
Ryan was still chuckling at Charlie’s response when he opened the door. The smile slid off his lips as soon as he saw who was standing there.
‘What do you want?’ he asked. He glanced back to check that Charlie wasn’t in earshot.
The man in front of him seemed smaller than he remembered. Frailer, too. And yet looking at him made Ryan feel like he was ten years old again, watching his father’s face turn puce as he yelled at Ryan’s mother.
‘Someone told me they’d seen you in town. I wanted to check for myself,’ his father said.
‘Got back yesterday.’ Ryan kept his face impassive.
‘But why?’ the old man asked. ‘Why are you here after all these years?’ His eyes narrowed. ‘Your mother’s been crying all day.’
‘I’m sorry to hear that.’ If he’d been younger, more impulsive, Ryan might have pointed out that it was his father who usually made her cry. But he wasn’t that child any more. He was a man. And he had his own child to protect.
‘It’s none of your business why I’m here,’ Ryan said.
Charlie popped his head around Ryan, his hand full of brightly coloured bricks. ‘Dad, can you help me with this?’
For a moment his father said nothing. Just stared down at Charlie. He looked back at the car, but Ryan’s father still hadn’t moved. ‘Is that your son?’
He sounded surprised. Ryan liked the fact he hadn’t found out everything. He’d assumed they’d discovered Charlie’s existence – it was just like his father to keep tabs on him wherever he was in the world. But at least he’d managed to keep this element of surprise.
‘Yes he is.’ Ryan hooked his arm around Charlie, pulling him close. It was impossible to ignore the need to protect him.
Charlie blinked at Ryan’s tone, staring up at him with guarded interest. But he said nothing, just watched and observed.
‘How long are you in town for?’ his father asked.
‘I don’t think that’s any of your business either.’
For the first time his father reacted. He narrowed his eyes, his thin lips disappearing into nothing. ‘It is my business. It’s family business. I want to know whether you’re planning on interfering with the company.’
Ryan stifled the urge to laugh. It wasn’t humour that made him want to let it out, more the realisation that some things hadn’t changed in all the years he’d been gone. The company came first, as always.
He might have held a third of the shares in the company – thanks to the inheritance he’d got from his grandfather – but Ryan had never wanted to be involved in the business. He gave all the dividends he earned away to charity – helping out the small town in Namibia where Charlie had been born. But he knew it killed his father to know that Ryan had any control.
Charlie shifted next to him, taking in every word. The need to get this man off his doorstep outweighed Ryan’s need to goad him. ‘I wasn’t planning on it. Unless you need my help.’
‘I don’t need anything from you. I just want to make sure you don’t interfere where you’re not wanted.’
‘Is that it?’ Ryan asked, pushing Charlie gently behind him as he stepped back into the hallway. ‘Because I have things to do. Perhaps next time you want to talk to me, you can make an appointment.’
‘You shouldn’t have come back. You know that.’ His father took one final look at him, then turned his back on Ryan and Charlie, heading back to the black sedan parked next to the sidewalk. Ryan closed the door, leaning back on it for a moment, trying to catch his breath.
It had been a heck of a day. From the moment he’d woken up he hadn’t had a chance to take a breath. The removal trucks, Charlie getting beaten up at school, meeting the pretty woman with the dark clouds in her eyes. Seeing his father for the first time in years was the icing on the cake.
Coming back to Shaw Haven had seemed like such a good idea a few weeks ago. What the hell had he been thinking?
‘Mommy, do you think Daddy’s lonely?’ Poppy was lying in her bed, face up to the ceiling, while Juliet was curled up next to her. She was still holding the copy of The Cat in the Hat which they’d been reading together, Poppy spelling out the words as Juliet pointed to them.
This was Juliet’s favourite time of the evening – lying next to a sleepy Poppy, the two of them discussing how their day had gone.
‘I don’t know, honey,’ Juliet said. ‘But I think he’s okay. He’s busy at work, and when he comes home he has Grandma and Grandpa to talk to.’ They lived on the same land, after all. Two properties built next to each other, overlooking Chesapeake Bay.
‘And Nicole. She looks after him too.’
‘Yes she does.’ Juliet licked her lips, so dry in spite of the early fall humidity. ‘So I think your daddy is just fine.’
‘He was grumpy last weekend when I stayed with them. I heard him arguing with Nicole. Something about a party she wanted to go to.’
Juliet kept herself still, not wanting to show any reaction. But if she was being really honest she couldn’t help but feel a bit of satisfaction at the thought of Thomas and Nicole having a row. She just wished they didn’t have to do it in front of Poppy.
Sometimes she wished a lot of things. It didn’t mean they came true though.
‘Well, lots of people have arguments,’ Juliet said, trying not to remember all the ones she’d had with Thomas. ‘But then they make up again. Look at you and the new boy at school. You seem like you’re friends now.’
‘I like Charlie. He’s cool. He’s been to eleventy-hundred different countries, and he knows how to say no in ten different languages.’
Juliet smiled. ‘He sounds like a clever boy.’
‘But not as clever as me. I’m the cleverest in the class.’ Poppy smiled. ‘I got all our spellings right today. The teacher gave me a star.’
‘You did?’ Juliet turned her head to smile at her daughter. ‘You are a clever girl.’
‘I’m going to tell Daddy when I see him this weekend.’
Juliet kept the smile firmly on her face. ‘He’ll be so proud. But you know you could have called on the phone to tell him. He always likes to hear from you.’
‘I like to hear from him, too.’ Poppy stared up at the ceiling, where Juliet had fixed fluorescent stars to the plaster. When they’d first moved in, they’d decorated every room in the bungalow. It had felt cathartic, marking it out as hers. Freeing, even, as she’d stood in front of the paint chart in Home Depot, and realised that nobody was going to criticise her choice, or tell her it wasn’t in keeping with the rest of the house. She could have painted the whole place vermillion, and nobody would have blinked an eyelid.
‘Can we get a cat?’ Poppy asked.
Juliet laughed at her complete change of subject. ‘What makes you ask that?’
‘I just like them. Noah has a cat and a dog. But dogs are big and they bark too much. Cats are much nicer.’
‘I don’t think we can have a pet right now, sweetheart. I’m out at work all day and you’re at school. It wouldn’t be fair to leave it on its own all that time.’
‘Can’t you stay home like you used to? I liked that.’
Juliet’s heart clenched. That felt like a lifetime ago – she was a different person then. She’d had enough time not only to take care of her daughter, but to take care of herself, too. It had been expected of her. Regular trips to the beautician, her own personal shopper, dinner out at least four times a week, supporting Thomas as he wined and dined clients.
As much as she loved having her own business – and being her own boss – she’d be lying if she said she didn’t miss having more time on her hands, especially for her daughter. It felt as if the only time she got to sit still was when she was reading Poppy a story. Maybe that’s why they both enjoyed it so much.
‘I can’t stay at home,’ she said, her voice thick with emotion. ‘I need to be at the shop. I have a lot of customers to look aft
er, they’d miss me if I wasn’t there.’
‘I love flowers,’ Poppy said, the cat already forgotten. ‘I like it when you bring them home.’
She was sounding sleepy, her voice low and dragged out, like a record being played at the wrong speed. Turning onto her side, she nestled into Juliet, curling her legs up beneath her.
Juliet stroked Poppy’s hair, her heart full of love for her daughter. This was the silver lining to her separation from Thomas. No more missing bedtime because she had to accompany him to a dinner. Instead she got to read to her daughter every night.
Leaning down, she pressed her lips to Poppy’s cheek, feeling the warmth of her skin. ‘Good night, honey,’ she whispered, though Poppy’s steady breaths told her she was already asleep. ‘Dream sweet dreams. I love you so much.’
Sometimes that was the only thing Juliet was certain of.
3
Women may fall when there’s no strength in men
– Romeo and Juliet
‘We’ve set a date,’ Juliet’s younger sister, Cesca, said, her beaming smile lighting up Juliet’s laptop. She was Skypeing with her sisters – Cesca, of course, plus Kitty and Lucy. The four of them tried to talk once a week, no matter where in the world they were. And right now Kitty was in LA, Lucy in Edinburgh and from the looks of it Cesca was in Paris.
Maybe one day they’d all be on the same continent, at least.
‘You have?’ Juliet asked, grinning. ‘When’s the big day?’ Cesca’s engagement to her movie-star boyfriend, Sam, had been one of the few light moments in Juliet’s darkness this year. ‘And where are you going to do it?’
There was no mistaking the glow on Cesca’s face. ‘Next July in the Scottish Highlands. We want to get married at Lucy’s castle.’
Lucy, the eldest of the four, rolled her eyes. ‘It’s not a castle and it’s not mine,’ she pointed out, but she still couldn’t hide her smile. None of them could – it was just such good news.
‘Okay, at Lachlan’s lodge then,’ Cesca said. Lachlan was Lucy’s boyfriend, and the previous year he’d inherited an estate in the highlands of Scotland. According to Lucy, Cesca and Kitty it had one of the most beautiful landscapes they’d ever seen. No wonder Cesca wanted to be married up there. It also had the added advantage of privacy – something Cesca and Sam had very little of during their everyday lives. The paparazzi loved them too much.
Juliet was the only one of them who hadn’t seen the castle.
‘And of course I want you all to be my bridesmaids,’ Cesca said. ‘And for Poppy to be my flower girl.’
Juliet watched as Lucy and Kitty agreed noisily, already asking about colours and dress styles. She tried to smile, tried to ignore that sick feeling in her stomach that was tugging at her. But her efforts were futile.
‘What about you, Jules, what colour do you think she should have?’ Lucy asked, finally noticing Juliet’s silence. ‘You’ve got the best eye out of all of us.’
Juliet stared at her three sisters, taking in their happiness, their expectation. Her chest tightened like a snake was squeezing her.
‘I don’t know if I’ll be able to come.’
‘What?’ Lucy asked, frowning.
‘Thomas won’t let me take Poppy out of the country until we have a separation agreement. And we don’t, not yet.’ Juliet licked her dry lips. She hated bringing her sisters down, especially when Cesca had such good news.
‘What?’ Cesca asked, looking appalled. ‘Can he do that?’ She shook her head. ‘Lucy, surely we can do something?’
‘Not until they have a legal agreement,’ Lucy said. Of the four of them, she was the only one who knew exactly how bad things were for Juliet. As the two eldest, they’d been the ones to keep things going after their mother’s death when they were both teenagers. They’d always been each other’s confidantes, and Lucy had proved to be Juliet’s rock over the past few months.
‘When will that be?’ Cesca asked. ‘It must be soon, right? You two have been separated for months, he can’t make you wait that much longer.’
Juliet shrugged, but she felt anything but nonchalant. ‘I don’t know. There’s a lot to sort out. Not just custody but our assets, alimony and child support.’ And Thomas was playing hardball. It was as if he was deliberately dragging everything out.
‘But I don’t want to get married if you aren’t there,’ Cesca said, her face crumpling. Juliet bit her lip to stifle the tears that were threatening to rise to the surface. The thought of her sister getting married and Juliet not seeing it was awful. She felt like an exile, separated from the ones she loved. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could take it.
She took a deep breath, then forced a smile back onto her face. ‘I’ll ask Thomas,’ she said, as much to calm Cesca down as anything else. ‘Maybe he’ll be flexible if I explain what it’s all about.’
‘That’s a good idea.’ Lucy smiled at her warmly. ‘Maybe he’ll be reasonable for once.’
‘Maybe,’ Juliet agreed, her cheeks starting to ache. But she wouldn’t bet on it. Sometimes she wondered what had happened to that charming, handsome man she’d met in a park in Oxford all those years ago.
Life. That’s what had happened. The same things he’d loved about her had become annoyances. In the last year of their marriage she’d heard him sigh more than she’d seen him smile. And if she was honest, she’d been exactly the same.
Nowadays the only thing they had in common was Poppy – and thankfully they both loved her very much. Everything else seemed like a fight that was impossible to win. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to try.
‘Are you nearly ready, honey?’ Juliet called out. Poppy came running into the bedroom, still in her pyjamas, clutching a picture she’d drawn in school on Friday. It was of the three of them – Juliet, Thomas and Poppy – though Juliet and Thomas were on opposite sides of the page, and Poppy had strangely long arms as she was holding each of their hands. Juliet watched as her daughter laid the paper on top of her folded clothes, then helped her close up the case.
She wasn’t sad to see the back of that drawing. It was a scene that happened the world over – two people divided, their child pulled between them like Stretch Armstrong. But it hurt like hell to look at it.
‘You need to get dressed,’ Juliet reminded her. ‘Daddy will be here in a minute.’
It was barely nine in the morning – a few minutes before Thomas was due to arrive. The weekend stretched out in front of Juliet like an unwelcome visitor.
Thomas’s car pulled up outside the house five minutes later. He climbed out of the black sedan, his face screwed up as he looked at the house. Seeing him was enough to make her chest constrict. He looked like the man she knew, he still sounded like the man she knew, but everything else felt so alien.
‘Daddy’s here,’ Poppy called out.
She came running down the hallway, skidding to a stop beside Juliet. With wide eyes Juliet took in her daughter’s clothes. She was wearing a blue and white stripy top, red leggings and a pink fluffy tutu. On her feet were her very favourite silver sandals, glittering in the sunlight.
‘That’s a pretty outfit,’ Juliet said.
Poppy beamed. ‘I chose it all myself.’
‘I know.’ Juliet tried to smile. ‘All your favourite things at once. Are you sure you’re going to be okay in those sandals? It’s getting cold outside.’
Poppy nodded her head vigorously. ‘I’ve got socks on, see?’ She wiggled her toes. ‘I’ll be nice and cosy.’
Thomas knocking on the front door dashed any hopes of persuading her to put on something more suitable. Grabbing Poppy’s bags, Juliet stepped outside onto the porch.
‘Hello, sweetheart.’ Thomas leaned down to kiss his daughter’s head. Then he looked her up and down, and the familiar frown returned. ‘Are you going to get dressed before we go?’
An almost hysterical laugh bubbled up in Juliet’s throat. It took everything she had to swallow it down. ‘She is dressed.’
‘Do you like them?’ Poppy beamed at her father. ‘Aren’t I pretty?’ She took the edges of her tutu in her hands, dipping her legs to give him a curtsey.
‘You’re beautiful.’ He blinked as though something was caught in his eye. ‘But maybe you can put something a little smarter on. We’re going to breakfast with some of my business associates. One of your dresses would be perfect.’
Poppy’s lip trembled. ‘Don’t you like my clothes?’
‘Of course I do.’ He looked up at Juliet, as if expecting her to say something. He wasn’t used to talking to Poppy about clothes – they’d always been Juliet’s domain. He was a wide-eyed fish out of water.
‘Mommy liked them.’ Poppy looked up at Juliet. Her eyes were shining with tears. ‘You did, didn’t you, Mommy?’
Juliet took a deep breath, trying to find the right words. She didn’t want to dent her daughter’s confidence. She knew all too well how easily that was done. ‘I do, sweetheart. You look beautiful,’ Juliet said, stroking her daughter’s dark glossy hair. ‘But we didn’t know Daddy had planned to take you out, did we? Maybe you can go and change into a pretty dress, and wear these clothes tomorrow instead?’
Poppy opened her mouth to protest, but seeing the look on her father’s face she closed it again. ‘Okay. But I’m definitely wearing my sandals.’ She ran back to her room, leaving Juliet and Thomas alone at the front door.
‘Are you doing this on purpose?’ Thomas asked her. ‘You know what time I was picking her up, the least you can do is have her ready.’ He shook his head. ‘You’re making everything as difficult as you can.’
‘I didn’t know you were going out for breakfast,’ Juliet said, trying to keep her voice steady. Every conversation with Thomas seemed to be like walking a tightrope – one stumble and they were at each other’s throats.
Poppy appeared back by Juliet’s side, wearing a red jersey dress and a white cardigan. ‘I’m ready now.’ She smiled widely at her parents, unaware of the atmosphere bubbling between them.