by Carrie Elks
‘I think there’s space.’ Juliet looked at the driver.
‘Yup, there sure is. Welcome aboard, kids.’ When all the children were safely on, Juliet turned to grab hold of the ladder. Ryan reached out for her hand, closing his own palm around it, helping her up onto the trailer.
There was a small space left at the back of the trailer, and Juliet crawled over to it, thankful she’d worn jeans today. She’d spent most of lunchtime picking hay out of her hair, and was certain that when she undressed that night she’d find more inside her shirt. Ryan sat down next to her, his warm body pressed against her side. She couldn’t have moved if she’d tried – the trailer was small, and the children took up the rest of the space. She was cornered.
‘Give them ten minutes, and they’ll be fast asleep,’ Ryan said, nodding his head at the kids in front of them. ‘It’s impressive what fresh air and activity can do.’
Juliet smiled. She was feeling sleepy herself. As the tractor began to pull away, the wheels rolling rhythmically on the grass, she could see exactly what Ryan meant.
‘I’d forgotten about places like this,’ Ryan told her. ‘I haven’t been to a Pumpkin Patch in years. It’s funny that the more I’m away from the States, the less I remember about the culture.’
‘I’d never heard of them before I moved over here,’ Juliet admitted. ‘We don’t have things like this in England.’
‘You don’t celebrate Halloween?’
‘We do, but nowhere near the way you do over here. A few kids might go trick or treating, but that’s about it. There’s not a whole industry built around it. And if you dress up in a costume over there it has to be scary. No Disney princesses or Nemos.’
‘How boring.’
She laughed. ‘We have other ways of celebrating. Like Guy Fawkes Night.’
‘Is that the one where you burn human-sized dolls in big bonfires?’
She looked at him with an eyebrow raised. ‘It might be. Do you have a problem with that?’ She was teasing. And she liked the way he grinned when he realised.
‘Just sayin’. You guys have some messed up traditions over there, London.’
Why was it, that every time he used that nickname on her, she felt her whole body light up?
‘At least we have some history. We don’t have to just invent stuff for the fun of it.’ She almost stuck her tongue out at him. Crazy how easy it was to tease him. Even crazier how it made her pulse speed up.
‘Do you miss it?’
She frowned. ‘Miss what?’
‘Living in England?’
The tractor hit a hole, jostling them around. The kids giggled as she was almost thrown into Ryan’s arms. He reached out, steadying her with his strong hands. Juliet’s breath caught in her throat.
When he smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkled up. For the first time she noticed the scar running through one of his eyebrows. She wanted to reach out, trace the white line. Wanted to ask where he’d gotten it from.
Damn it, no she didn’t. It was just those hormones sparking up again.
‘You okay?’ he asked softly.
She tried to pull away from him, but his hands stayed firm on her upper arms. She could feel goosebumps breaking out all over, her body shivering in spite of his warmth. It had been so long since she’d been this close to a man. But that wasn’t what made her heart beat wildly. It was this man. The blond-haired, easy-going Romeo next door.
Stop it Juliet. Stop it.
‘I’m fine.’
He brushed his thumbs along her biceps, the sensation only making her shiver more. He really needed to let go of her now, before she made a fool of herself. She was a grown woman, a mother, and they were surrounded by children. There was no way she should be feeling like this.
‘I’m fine,’ she said again, this time managing to pull herself from his grasp. She looked around at the kids. They were all safely seated. As he’d predicted, more than one of them had fallen asleep. ‘Thank you.’
‘You’re welcome.’
She pulled her knees up to her chest, circling her arms around them, turning herself into a ball. The ground ahead looked more uneven than ever. There was no way she was going to fall into him again.
Even if it felt too good. Or especially because it did.
‘I do miss London, yes,’ she said, trying to get back on track. ‘I miss my family, of course, and I miss my friends. But more than anything I miss that feeling of belonging, of having grown up somewhere and knowing it inside out. I might have been living here for more than six years, but I still feel like a visitor.’
He wrinkled his nose up. ‘I can’t imagine living in one place for my whole life. There’s a big world out there.’
‘I’d be too afraid to travel the way you have,’ she told him. ‘I need to know where I’m going. I can’t imagine turning up in a new country and having no idea where I’m going to sleep that night.’
‘That’s the fun part. It’s only scary the first time. After that you know that no matter what happens, you’re going to be okay. So you might have to sleep in a few bus stations, or on a dusty road, but you’ll still wake up in the morning and be fine. The sun will come up, the world will keep turning.’
‘But you decided to settle down anyway,’ she said, trying to ignore the drumbeat of her pulse in her ear. ‘You’re here after all.’
‘Until June. Then we move to New York.’
‘Oh. I’d forgotten … ’ She trailed off. Picking up a piece of straw, she rolled it between her fingers. It was the colour of the sun, golden and light. ‘I remember you saying that at the ice cream parlour now.’ She licked her lips. ‘What’s in New York?’
‘I’ve been offered a long-term contract as a principal photographer for a magazine. Plus I’ll be doing some freelancing too – there’s a lot of work up there.’ He raised his eyebrows. ‘It’s a change for us both, settling down in one place, but Charlie needs some stability now he’s in full-time education.’
‘Aren’t you worried about him having to start all over again at a new school?’ she asked.
‘Should I be?’ Ryan frowned.
She regretted her words immediately. They came from her own anxieties, not his. ‘No, you shouldn’t. Children are adaptable.’ After all, look at how quickly Poppy had adjusted to their new home. ‘I’m just a helicopter parent sometimes. Always worrying about something.’ She winced. ‘And now I’m worrying about worrying, which is so crazy I should shut up.’
‘Maybe I should worry a bit more,’ Ryan said, smiling at her. ‘I know I can come off as too laid back sometimes.’
The ride was coming to an end. The tractor pulled up to the steps, moving forward slightly until they were aligned with the trailer. Nearly every kid had fallen asleep on the hay.
‘I’ll tell you what,’ Ryan said. ‘Maybe you can teach me to worry a bit more, and I can teach you to be more laid back. Between us we might just make it work.’
Between us. ‘That sounds good.’ It really did. And if she could just stop her body from reacting to him, and put him firmly in the friend zone, it might even work out.
He reached for her hand, shaking it firmly, his lips still quirked up in that sexy smile. ‘In that case, London, it’s a deal.’
8
There is a tide in the affairs of men,
Which taken at the flood, leads on to fortune
– Julius Caesar
‘Your first lesson is how to take your kid out on a boat without panicking.’
Juliet blinked, trying to focus on Ryan as he stood at her front door. He was wearing long, navy shorts and a white shirt, his sleeves rolled up at the elbows. Dark glasses covered his eyes, shielding them from the October sun. Though the leaves were changing colour, the temperature remained unseasonably warm. Yesterday they’d hit the high seventies.
‘What?’
‘I’m teaching you to be laid back, right? What’s more laid back than taking your kid out onto the water? You have to be chilled out to
do that.’
‘Or have the best life jacket ever.’
He laughed. ‘Life jackets I have. Now are you up for the challenge?’
She glanced at her watch. It was seven-thirty on a Saturday morning. ‘You mean now?’ she asked. ‘I have to be at work later this afternoon.’
‘I’ll have you both back on dry land by then,’ he said, sliding his glasses over his head. ‘Probably.’ That last word was accompanied by a wink.
‘You’d better,’ she told him. ‘Otherwise I’ll have to teach you my first lesson. Which is if you have responsibilities, you meet them. Otherwise you can lose your only source of income.’
His face took on a serious expression. ‘I hear you, and I promise you’ll be back in time for work. I’d never get in the way of a lady and her source of income.’
Half an hour later, they were all dressed and scrambling into Ryan’s car. Juliet strapped Poppy into her seat, testing the straps to make sure they were secure.
‘How big is your boat, Ryan?’ Poppy asked, leaning as far forward as her car seat would let her. She frowned when the straps stopped her in her tracks.
‘She’s a forty-footer. Bigger than a row boat, smaller than a ship.’
‘How do you know she’s a she?’ Poppy asked. Juliet couldn’t help but smile. Her daughter was always full of questions, but at least somebody else was bearing the brunt today. She glanced at Ryan from the corner of her eye. His hands were firmly on the wheel, his eyes trained on the road ahead, but it was impossible to ignore the grin on his face.
‘Because she’s beautiful,’ he told her.
‘Boys can be beautiful too,’ Poppy protested. ‘So it can’t be that.’
‘She’s called Miss Maisie,’ Charlie interjected. ‘So she can’t be a boy. I wish she was though, boys are cool.’
‘Girls are cooler.’
Juliet tuned the two of them out, this time turning to look at Ryan. Though he was concentrating, he was still relaxed, his expression light and easy. She took advantage of the fact he was looking away to take him in. Square jaw, straight nose, eyes that matched the ocean.
He was way too attractive for his own good. Or her good for that matter. They were just friends, she reminded herself, nothing more.
‘Are you sure this is okay?’ she asked him, glancing back at Charlie and Poppy. ‘I hope they don’t bicker all day. She can be a bit of a handful.’
Ryan pulled out onto the harbour road. ‘She’s nothing like you, is she?’
‘She’s fearless. So yeah, nothing like me at all.’
‘You don’t think you’re fearless?’
She shook her head. ‘I’m the complete opposite. Nearly everything scares me.’
‘You moved to a strange country when you were twenty. That sounds pretty fearless.’
‘I was blinded by love.’ She said it deadpan, making him laugh.
‘What about being a single mom? That takes guts.’
‘It takes having no other choice.’
They were at a stoplight. He glanced at her, and she saw herself reflected in the mirrors of his sunglasses.
‘There’s always a choice. You could have stayed with him. You could have gone home to London and left Poppy behind. You could have done so many things, but you chose to stay and fight for your kid. That takes guts.’
There was the strangest feeling in her chest, as though a hundred butterflies had come to life, fluttering their wings inside her ribcage. Behind her, Poppy and Charlie were still chatting, this time about their worm farm.
‘Keep telling me that, and I might just start to believe you.’
‘You should believe me. I grew up with parents who did nothing but think of themselves. That’s the coward’s way out.’
It was as though he was revealing little parts of himself, piece by piece, and she was doing the same. Every time they were together the armour was coming off, revealing vulnerable skin that could so easily be pierced. She’d never felt so comfortable and so exposed at the same time.
He steered the car through the gates to the parking lot, pulling into a space facing the harbour. The water was lapping against the side of the boardwalk, the moored boats gently rising and falling with its movement. As soon as they stepped out of the car there was tranquillity to the air that surprised Juliet. The only times she’d been here before was for dinner cruises – when the whole boardwalk was full of chatter and expensive voices.
Not now, though. It was as though somebody had put a little spell on the river, holding back the flow of years and progress. It was timeless in its beauty.
‘Is that your boat?’ Poppy asked, pointing at a tiny fishing vessel. ‘Can we even fit on there?’
‘That’s not our boat.’ Charlie looked almost offended. Then his face softened as he pointed over to a large sailing boat moored up by the pier. ‘That’s Miss Maisie. Our boat.’
For a moment he looked so much like his father, he took Juliet’s breath away. The same piercing eyes, the same expression of wonderment. It wasn’t difficult to imagine Ryan as a child, playing on these planks, climbing over the boats and getting up to all kinds of mischief.
The man himself had climbed out and was unloading the back of his car, pulling out two bags and slinging them over his shoulder. Then he led the way to the jetty, reaching out to slow Poppy down as she sped along the gangplank.
An old man was waiting for them by the side of Miss Maisie, a blue cap pulled down on his head where a few wispy grey curls escaped from beneath. He looked at Juliet with interest, as if he was trying to place her.
‘Hey Stan,’ Ryan said, reaching for the old man’s hand. ‘She looks perfect. Thanks for getting her ready at such short notice.’
‘You always were the impulsive one,’ Stan told him. ‘And I see you each brought a lady along. Remember to keep the language clean on there, young Charlie.’
Charlie giggled, making Poppy laugh too. The two of them stood stock still as Ryan slid their life jackets on, fastening them firmly as he gave them instructions on how to behave on the boat. Then he passed a larger life jacket to Juliet, smiling as she struggled to tighten the straps across her body. He reached out, putting his hands over hers, gently guiding her as the jacket became firm against her body.
‘You ready?’ he murmured, dragging his own lifejacket on.
‘I’m ready,’ she told him. And she was. Ready to get on the deck, to feel the air lifting her hair. To put the distance between them she needed, because right here, right now, she was a hair’s breadth from wanting to run her palms all over those tight biceps of his.
‘So what are we waiting for?’ Poppy asked impatiently. ‘Christmas?’
A few minutes later, Stan was throwing the rope to Juliet as Ryan steered the boat out from the jetty. She coiled it around her hand and arm, the way he’d shown her, before hooking it onto the side in a large loop. Ryan called out instructions to her as they reached the open water, smiling at her as she tried to follow them as best she could. Even when she stumbled on the deck, all he did was give her the once-over with his eyes, satisfied she was okay.
It didn’t take long for the boat to work its magic on her. Feeling the air rushing over the deck, and the almost magical sensation of floating on the water, was enough to make her heart pound in the best kind of way. She could see the same response in Poppy and Charlie, as they sat on the deck the way Ryan had shown them, their eyes tightly closed as the wind blasted their faces.
‘You okay?’ Ryan mouthed at her. She nodded, a smile curving her lips. It was impossible to feel anything else right then. She felt exposed in the best kind of way. Free of everything she’d left behind on the wharf. It was just the four of them and the water, and right then nothing else mattered.
No wonder he loved the sense of freedom he got from being on the open bay. It was as if anything was possible. She felt the sudden desire for them to keep sailing until they reached the horizon line, and to disappear from sight. To reach the ocean and keep on goi
ng, until they sailed into some foreign land.
‘How old were you when you learned to sail?’ she shouted, her words half-swallowed by the hissing wind.
‘I can’t remember. My grandpa started to take me out pretty much as soon as I could walk. I kind of grew up knowing how to sail just by watching him, the way other kids grow up knowing how to sing or dance. Of all the things I left behind when I moved away, I think I missed this old gal the most.’ He tapped his hand against the wheel.
‘You look like a man in love,’ she teased.
‘You can’t help but fall in love with Maisie,’ he said. ‘She has this irresistible lure. You watch out, you’ll be falling at her feet before too long.’
He’d pulled his sunglasses over his head, trying to keep his hair from blowing in his face. Even with the distance between them, she could see the sun sparkling in his eyes.
‘She’s very seductive,’ Juliet agreed. ‘It’s like she’s making all these promises. Whispering that she can take you on adventures and journeys you’ll never believe. It’s hypnotic.’
Ryan laughed. ‘She’s a siren all right. She entranced my grandpa and then turned her magic on me.’ He inclined his head at Charlie and Poppy, who were talking excitedly, their hands gripping the rail the way Ryan had shown them. ‘I think he might be falling for her, too.’
‘It would be hard not to,’ Juliet said. ‘Hard not to fall for the beauty of this bay, either. Do you know I’ve lived here for six years, and the only time I’ve been out on a boat has been in the evening.’
‘What kind of boat?’
‘The kind of boat that you have to dress up for. Full of tuxedos and shiny dresses. Where deals are done below decks, and the surroundings are only secondary.’
‘That’s no way to experience this bay.’
She caught his eye. He was staring at her with a mixture of interest and pity.
‘I can see that now.’