by Carrie Elks
She couldn’t believe she was doing this, and yet it felt so good, so right. She looped her arms around his neck, pressing her body against his, squeezing her eyes shut tight as they gave in to their desire. Her skin was flushed all over, tingling with need. He overwhelmed her senses – the feel of him, the taste of him, the sound of his rapid breaths as he tried to take in some air.
‘London,’ he murmured against her lips. She opened her eyes, and he was staring straight at her. She kissed him again, leaving him in no doubt how much she wanted this. She needed it, like she needed air.
‘Mommy, can we have some more popcorn?’ Poppy’s voice carried through the thick atmosphere between them. Alarmed, Juliet stepped out of Ryan’s embrace. They exchanged an anxious glance.
‘What, honey?’ she called out, her voice sounding unnaturally high. Her eyes were still wide as she glanced over Ryan’s shoulder, seeing Poppy running down the stairs, holding a bowl.
Juliet ducked under Ryan’s arms, trying to put some space between them. She could feel the blood pooling in her cheeks, making them flame as she tried to calm her body down.
‘We’ve run out of popcorn,’ Poppy said impatiently. ‘Oh, hi, Ryan.’ She sounded normal, unalarmed. Had she seen anything? Juliet wasn’t sure, but either way she wanted the ground to open up and swallow her whole.
Kind of the way she’d wanted Ryan to do the same thing only seconds earlier.
‘You’ve eaten it already? You guys are going to explode.’ Ryan grinned, taking the plastic bowl from her daughter. How could he be so calm when she felt moments away from combusting? ‘Maybe you should take a break before you have any more.’
Still trying to control her breathing, Juliet took the bowl from Ryan, being careful not to touch his fingers with hers. She didn’t trust herself not to do something embarrassing if she did.
‘Oh, is that Fluffy? Charlie was wondering where he was,’ Poppy said, still oblivious to the atmosphere in the room. ‘Charlie, Fluffy’s here!’ she shouted. Moments later, Ryan’s son came running down the stairs, his face lighting up when he saw his dad, and his favourite stuffed toy on the kitchen counter, where Ryan had left him.
Suddenly, they were back to being mom and dad. Juliet wasn’t sure whether she was disappointed or relieved.
Either way, it felt as if there was unfinished business between them.
And she wasn’t sure if she wanted it finished or not.
Ryan closed his front door behind him, and leaned against the wall, rubbing the heel of his palms against his eyes in an attempt to calm himself. What the hell just happened? One minute he was leaving, the next they were kissing like teenagers. He touched his lips, remembering the sensation of her mouth against his, the sweetness of her tongue as she opened up to him.
He’d wanted to ask her what was happening. But Charlie and Poppy had hung around, asking for more drinks and demanding Juliet watch the movie with them. In the end he’d left the house with nothing more than a meaningful look, and questions that wouldn’t stop ping-ponging around his brain. What was she thinking? Did she make a mistake? Or did she want him as much as he wanted her?
He didn’t know the answer to any of those questions, and he wouldn’t without talking to her. Yet he’d made himself a promise, not to push her. That he’d respect her wish to be just friends. If she wanted something more than that, he wasn’t going to be the one to push it. He respected her way too much for any of that macho bullshit. As much as it killed him, he was going to have to wait for her to make any moves.
Whatever happened next – if anything happened at all – it was up to her. And the wait was going to be the death of him.
13
No sooner met but they looked,
no sooner looked but they loved
– As You Like It
‘So, your neighbour’s kind of hot,’ Cesca said, as the two of them were walking through the woods at the back of the house.
Juliet rolled her eyes. She’d deliberately steered her sister clear of the tree house that Ryan had almost finished, though the growl of his electric saw still echoed through the trees.
‘So says the girl with the movie star fiancé. And you shouldn’t be looking.’ It came out sharper than Juliet intended. Cesca raised her eyebrows, looking at her suspiciously.
‘You’re not jealous are you?’
‘No.’ Juliet’s reply was almost instantaneous. ‘He’s just a neighbour. And I’d prefer it if you didn’t ogle him.’ Her mouth was dry, as she remembered their kiss the other night. She hadn’t had a chance to speak with him since – she’d been dealing with a big order at the florist. Maybe it was better that way, she still had no idea how she was supposed to deal with her feelings.
‘Hey a girl can still appreciate the view.’ They clambered over a moss-covered log. ‘And so should you. It’s not often you get a next-door neighbour that looks like that. Especially one that’s so good with kids.’
‘You’ve only been engaged for a few months. Has Sam’s lustre already worn off?’ Juliet tried to turn the conversation back to Cesca. She wasn’t enjoying being grilled.
Cesca’s smile lit up her face. ‘Not at all. He’s still lovely, and to be honest he makes your neighbour look like a troll. But beggars can’t be choosers.’ She winked at Juliet to show she was teasing. ‘But seriously, what gives between you two? When we dropped Poppy at school this morning he couldn’t take his eyes off you.’
Cesca had arrived in Maryland the night before, having flown in the previous day. She’d left Sam in Washington DC, where he was due to meet with reporters. He would join them that evening, and the four of them would squeeze into Juliet’s tiny bungalow. She couldn’t help but think how unglamorous they’d find it, after living the movie-star life.
‘Are you sure you wouldn’t be happier staying in a hotel in town?’ Juliet asked again. ‘Sam might be more comfortable there.’
Cesca stopped, leaning against an old oak tree. ‘Are you trying to change the subject?’ she asked.
‘Yes.’ Juliet didn’t want to talk about Ryan. Didn’t want to think about him. Every time she remembered that kiss, she felt like she was blushing all over, like a sixteen-year-old girl with her first crush.
‘Well to answer your question, we came to see you and Poppy, not to spend the night in some swanky hotel. And if we need to sleep on the floor in your basement, then we’ll be happy to do that.’ Cesca shot Juliet a smile. ‘And as to changing the subject, that’s not going to happen. I saw the way you were looking at him, too.’
‘There’s nothing going on between us.’
‘But you want there to be?’
They’d reached the brook at the bottom of the tree-lined slope. The water bubbled and danced as it made its way through the trees, heading for the Chesapeake River on the other side of town. They walked along the bank, their boots sinking into the soft mud. ‘I don’t know what I want. I’m in the middle of a painful divorce and I’m trying to protect Poppy from the fallout. Ryan may be the best looking man I’ve ever laid eyes on, but the timing’s totally wrong.’
‘But apart from that?’ Cesca started laughing. ‘Come on, we both know that when love strikes, there’s nothing you can do to stop it. I’m living, breathing evidence of that.’
Juliet couldn’t help but smile. Cesca and Sam’s love story had touched all their hearts. The two of them had been enemies for years, before they’d been thrown together in an Italian villa for the summer. It was there, in the Mediterranean heat, that they’d thawed out, and somehow fallen in love.
‘Well, if there’s anything I know, it’s that this isn’t love. Lust, maybe, but definitely not love.’ She stepped on a dried-out branch, feeling it crack beneath her feet. The sound reverberated in the air. ‘And anyway, it doesn’t matter, because as I said before, I’m still married. If Thomas found out—’
‘He’d have to put up with it,’ Cesca interrupted. ‘Because he isn’t acting married. He’s got a girlfriend, after all. And
you’re in the middle of negotiating your divorce. You can’t use that as a reason not to move forward, Jules, not unless you want to be alone for the rest of your life.’ She leaned down to pick up a pebble, then threw it into the water with a satisfying splash. ‘And I should know, I stopped moving forward a long time ago. It took me years to realise the only person holding me back was me. I don’t want that for you, too.’
‘But you didn’t have a daughter to think of,’ Juliet said, coming to a halt beside her sister. ‘And Thomas has already made his dislike of Ryan clear. There’s bad blood between them, and this is a small town. It wouldn’t be difficult for him to use it against me in court.’
‘Jules, this will always be a small town. What are you going to do, live like a nun for the rest of your life? Let yourself be a sacrifice to the feud between the Montagues and the Capulets? You’re not the kind of girl who gives up like that. Thomas doesn’t have the right to dictate who you see any more, just like you don’t have the right to dictate to him. He’s trying to control you, even though you’re apart now. Don’t let him do that to you.’
Juliet rolled her lip between her teeth, staring out through the trees to the rolling fields beyond. Her family had always thought Thomas too controlling. It turned out they were right. She was just too blinded by love to see it at the time.
‘He’s not controlling me, not any more. But I’m not going to jump into anything, or onto anybody, without thinking things through first.’
Cesca was smiling. ‘Jump onto anybody? Is that what you want to do to him?’ She waggled her eyebrows, Groucho Marx-style. ‘Is there something you want to tell me?’
‘No.’ Her answer was too short, and too fast. She knew it would only pique her sister’s interest more. That was the problem with having a writer as a sibling, they were practised people-watchers, and Cesca could read Juliet like the words on her page. Growing up, they’d all naturally fallen into roles. As the eldest, Lucy was the strong one, the organiser. Juliet had been the dreamy perfectionist, pursuing a degree in fine arts that was cut short by her romance with Thomas. Cesca had been the observant writer, always listening, watching, typing away. Like their poor dead mother she’d dreamed of a career in the theatre, though unlike Milly Shakespeare, her heart belonged backstage, not right at the front, taking a bow. Their youngest sister, Katherine – or Kitty for short – was quieter than the rest of them, but no less affected by their family tragedy. She was in LA now, working as an assistant producer on a major production.
Sighing, Juliet met her sister’s gaze. She knew better than to try to hide things from Cesca. ‘Something happened between us the other day. But it’s not going to happen again.’
‘What?’ Cesca was all wide eyes and open mouth. ‘You can’t just leave it at that. What happened?’
‘I kissed him.’
A smug smile crossed Cesca’s lips. ‘I knew it. I knew as soon as I looked at the two of you that you weren’t just friends. When he was staring at you it felt like the room warmed up ten degrees. So what was it like, was it a good kiss?’
The memory of his warm lips pressing against hers sent a shiver down her spine. ‘Yeah, it was good.’ That was the understatement of the year.
‘So why are you frowning?’
‘Because it wouldn’t work.’
‘Why not?’ Cesca asked.
‘We’re too different. He’s all laid back and sunshine. Nothing fazes him. Plus he’s moving to New York next June. There’s no future in it.’
‘Why’s he moving?’ Cesca asked, her interest piqued.
‘He’s got some kind of contract there, I think. From what I can tell he’s not interested in staying around here.’
‘What about Charlie’s mom? Where’s she? Are they divorced?’
‘They were never really together. She’s on tour with her band at the moment. But from what I can gather she’s as laid back as Ryan. The two of them were only casual, I think. Maybe friends with benefits.’
‘Those are some hot benefits. I can see why she’d go for that.’
Juliet felt her face warm up. ‘Well, yeah, but I don’t think she gets them any more.’
‘That’s because he’s saving them for you.’
‘Stop it.’ She laughed, and Cesca joined in. ‘Seriously, the last thing I need is a friend with benefits.’
‘Bullshit, more than anybody I know, you need to get laid.’
‘You can hardly talk, you’re the one who swore off guys for six years.’
‘Ah yeah.’ Cesca grinned. ‘But I’m making up for lost time now. And so should you. Look, whatever’s going on between you and Mr Hot Stuff next door, you should just enjoy the moment. He doesn’t have to be your star-crossed lover or even your next boyfriend. Just do what feels right. Don’t overthink it.’
They’d reached the end of the woods. Turning back, they retraced their steps beside the brook, as the earth squelched beneath their feet. ‘You mean have an affair?’ Juliet clarified.
‘No, because you’re not married any more.’ Cesca sounded exasperated. ‘Just have a fling. This guy isn’t going to be around forever, and let’s face it, you aren’t ready to settle down with anybody until everything’s done and dusted with Thomas. But I can’t think of anybody I know who would benefit more from a bit of fun than you.’
Juliet couldn’t help but stare at her little sister. Though she’d known her all her life, this was a side to Cesca she hadn’t seen before. Gone was the wallowing, the loneliness, the settling for a life that wasn’t fulfilling her. Instead she seemed vibrant and alive.
‘You’ve changed,’ Juliet said. ‘Not in a bad way, though. I mean you’ve grown, you’ve got this confidence, this strength.’
Cesca nodded. ‘I feel strong. And the reason I do is because I left the past behind. I stopped letting my past regrets shape my present. It’s so freeing I can’t even explain it.’ She grabbed Juliet’s hand, sandwiching it between her own. ‘And I want that for you, too. You’re only young, after all. Most women your age are still playing the field, settling into their careers and enjoying life. It’s as though you’ve tried to squeeze everything into the last seven years, and not been able to enjoy any of it. So if this gorgeous guy who lives next door is offering you a bit of fun, why shouldn’t you take it?’
Juliet thought about her sister’s words as they made their way back to the house. They walked in companionable silence, their feet crunching over the freshly fallen leaves. The fall colours had arrived, turning the trees burnished orange and blood red, and now the leaves were slowly making their way to the ground. The first year she’d lived in Maryland they’d waited for the colours with bated breath, rushing out to the National Park along with the rest of the state as soon as the leaves had started to turn. Back then, her stomach had been swollen, her heart had been full, and she’d thought she’d married the man she would spend the rest of her life with.
What a difference a few years made. This year, for the first time, she hadn’t been to the park at all. She’d been too busy making bouquets and floral decorations. A pang tweaked at her heart as she realised how much she had already missed this year, being so deep in the misery of losing her marriage. It was as though her pain was a gauze curtain in front of her eyes, obscuring life until she was isolated from it.
Maybe it was time to lift up the veil.
They’d reached the part of the woods that fell at the boundary line of the houses. She looked over at the tree house behind Ryan’s yard. Her heart stuttered when she saw the man himself, leaning back to survey the structure. It looked almost complete. The windows were fixed in, the roof was nailed on, with a waterproof sealant applied. All he had left to do was put up the ladder – and after that it would be good to go.
But it wasn’t the wooden house that drew her interest. It was the man himself, clad in jeans that skimmed his thigh muscles, and a T-shirt whose cotton seemed to kiss his pectorals. She was ogling him, even though she knew she shouldn’t.
; ‘Like I said, he’s hot,’ Cesca whispered, her gaze following Juliet’s. ‘He’s gorgeous, he’s available and he’s into you. What’s not to like about that?’
At that moment, Juliet couldn’t think of a single thing.
Ryan was staring into a half-empty kitchen cupboard, trying to decide what to cook for dinner, when the sound of the doorbell echoed through the hallway. He slammed the cupboard shut and walked to the front door.
As soon as he opened it, she took his breath away.
‘London.’ He smiled at her. ‘You okay?’
She was wearing a pair of skinny jeans that looked almost sprayed on, the denim accentuating her soft curves. She’d matched it with a cream cashmere sweater. With her red curls tumbling over her shoulders, she looked almost too good to be true. He remembered how that hair had felt as he tangled his fingers in the strands, how her body had fitted perfectly against his that night she kissed him. It was hard to think about anything else.
‘I’m fine. I just wondered if you and Charlie would like to join us for dinner. My sister’s visiting – she’s the one you saw me with this morning – and her fiancé is here too. I thought he could do with a bit of male company. Being surrounded by Shakespeare women is too much for most guys.’
Ryan felt his mouth turn dry. The only woman he wanted to be surrounded by was standing right in front of him.
‘Dinner?’ he repeated. ‘Tonight?’
‘It’s just a takeout. Does Charlie like Chinese food?’ Though there was colour on her cheeks, she was displaying none of the discomfort Ryan was feeling. The sexual attraction that was pulling him in seemed almost one-sided. He didn’t like that at all.
‘Yeah, he likes Chinese food,’ Ryan murmured. He dragged a hand through his hair, pulling it out of his eyes. ‘Though he’s been eating ever since he got home, so I doubt he has much of an appetite.’
She shrugged, a half-smile still tugging at her lips. He frowned, trying to work out what looked different about her. ‘It’s okay. We’ll grab them some egg rolls and put on a movie for them. If the Chinese doesn’t work, then I’m sure popcorn will.’