by Carrie Elks
She narrowed her eyes, tipping her head to the side while she stared at him. ‘Are you setting me up, Mr Sutherland?’
‘No way. I just want to hear how bad you can be.’
She leaned closer still, until her hair was trailing along his chest, and her breath was fanning his face. A small smile quirked at her lips, as she whispered in a sexy voice against his mouth. ‘Mud.’ She pulled back, her smile wider. ‘That’s dirty, right?’
‘Yeah, really dirty.’ He grinned.
‘Absolutely filthy,’ she agreed, giving him a wink. ‘I shock myself sometimes.’
Laughing, he pulled her towards him, kissing her softly as he circled his hands around her waist. ‘I never knew you had such a foul mouth.’
‘Well there’s probably a lot you don’t know about me,’ she pointed out.
‘I’d like to find it all out.’ He wasn’t kidding. There was something fascinating about her. He wanted to ask her all the questions.
‘I eat steak, I talk dirty, and I can throw an anchor like a pro. I’m pretty much the female version of you.’ She grinned. ‘What else is there to know?’
He slid both hands beneath her shirt, letting his palms come to rest on her hips. Her skin was warm and soft, her body slender. His own body ached with desire for her. ‘I’d like to know what’s going on beneath this shirt.’
‘Pretty much what you’d expect.’ She wiggled her eyebrows. ‘The usual.’
‘The usual,’ he repeated, brushing the pad of his thumbs against her stomach. ‘I like the usual.’
‘You do?’
‘I do with you.’ And wasn’t that the kicker? He’d spent most of his adult life in search of new experiences, but now he wanted to have the same one, over and over again.
As long as it was with her.
22
Oh, beware, my lord, of jealousy!
It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock
The meat it feeds on
– Othello
‘So what do you think?’ Cesca did a twirl, the white gown fanning out behind her. She was in a bridal shop with Kitty, who was holding her camera and letting Lucy and Juliet watch as she tried on dress after dress. ‘Is it too big do you think?’
‘I liked the last one more,’ Lucy said, ‘but you still look beautiful. You could wear a sack and you’d still bowl everybody over.’
‘It needs to be right though,’ Cesca said as the assistant unzipped the back. ‘Elegant but eye-catching. Demure but sexy.’
‘You don’t ask for a lot do you?’ Kitty said from behind the camera. Juliet bit down a laugh. It was bittersweet watching her younger sister trying on wedding dresses on her laptop screen. She couldn’t help but wish she was with Cesca and Kitty – and Lucy too – with champagne glasses in their hands, gossiping about men and weddings and whatever else they always found to talk about.
She missed them like crazy. The thought of missing Cesca’s wedding was like a knife to her heart.
The assistant carried out another gown. ‘I’ve saved this one for last,’ she said. ‘It only came in last week.’ She lifted it over Cesca’s head, being careful to avoid her hair. ‘It’s a little different from the others.’ She stepped around the back as Cesca slid her hands out of the sleeves, and then fastened the zipper. Kitty’s hold on the camera wobbled as she took in the sight before her. Juliet had to lean in to try and see the dress.
‘That’s the one,’ Kitty said firmly. ‘Without a doubt.’
‘I can’t see it,’ Lucy said. ‘Can you hold the phone up, Kitty?’
When she did, the vision took Juliet’s breath away. The assistant was right, this dress was different to the others, but in a perfect way. The dress itself was simple – a sheer layer of tulle over a nude underdress, the sleeves long and the bodice tight, forming a low v on Cesca’s chest. The tulle was embellished with white silk flowers, cascading down the bodice and over Cesca’s hips. On some people it might have looked too much, but it was perfect for Juliet’s sister. It was whimsical yet fashionable, and clung to her curves without looking too sexy.
‘She’s right,’ Lucy said. ‘That’s definitely the one.’
Juliet’s throat was tight. She felt tears stinging at her eyes. She was so happy to be able to share this with her sisters, delighted to see Cesca looking so beautiful. And yet there was that nagging thought again, the one she couldn’t quite banish.
What if she couldn’t go to the wedding itself?
Cesca walked over to the long mirror on the wall of the bridal shop, staring at herself as she moved this way and that. Even from behind you could tell how special she felt, the dress making her hold her shoulders higher and her spine straighter.
‘It is perfect,’ she said softly. Then turning to look at Kitty – and the camera – she smiled. ‘Thank you so much for doing this with me, I wouldn’t want to be here without my sisters.’
‘There are some amazing bridesmaid dresses to go with this,’ the assistant said, smiling like the rest of them. ‘I’ll bring them out for you to take a look.’
‘Do you have flower girl dresses too?’ Cesca asked. ‘My niece is six.’
Juliet felt herself stiffen. She really could do with that glass of champagne, even though it was barely the afternoon. She listened as her sisters chatted about the wedding plans, about Sam’s wedding suit, and where they were planning to honeymoon. Juliet stayed silent, not wanting to spoil her sister’s excitement. But that bitter taste was still in her mouth, no matter how many times she tried to swallow it down.
‘You okay, Jules?’ Lucy asked. ‘You’ve gone a bit quiet.’
‘I’m fine.’ She nodded tightly.
‘You don’t sound fine,’ Kitty said, turning the camera to herself. She was frowning. ‘What’s the matter?’
Juliet rolled her lip between her teeth. ‘I still don’t know if Poppy and I will be able to come,’ she admitted, hating the way her voice sounded. ‘Thomas is still being stubborn.’
On the screen she could see Lucy lean forward. ‘But the mediation is happening, isn’t it?’ she asked. ‘Then you’ll be able to agree the terms of your divorce.’
Juliet nodded. ‘That’s right.’ Her sisters were as frustrated with the Maryland divorce laws as she was. Having to live separately from Thomas for a year before her divorce could be finalised felt like a special kind of purgatory. She’d hoped they would have agreed the terms of their separation long ago, but Thomas had other ideas. He’d cancelled their final mediation session three times. It was as if he didn’t want to get things settled between them.
‘We have the final mediation on Wednesday. I’m hoping we’ll be able to agree on custody and maintenance. But none of it will be implemented until next year, once we can prove we’ve been apart for twelve months.’
‘And after that you’ll be able to travel?’ Cesca asked, looking hopeful.
‘I will.’ Juliet nodded. ‘But I’ll only be able to take Poppy out of the country with Thomas’s agreement.’ She curled her hands with frustration. ‘And you know Thomas, with him there’s no such thing as a free lunch.’
Lucy gave her a sympathetic smile. ‘Is everything else going okay with the mediation?’ she asked. ‘How about custody and maintenance?’
‘My lawyer thinks they’ll agree to 70/30 custody,’ Juliet said. ‘That’s really all I want. Everything else is negotiable. Most of Thomas’s assets he had before we got married, and my business should make a profit next quarter. I’m hoping that we won’t be dependent on him for anything other than school fees and extras for Poppy by the end of next year.’ She opened her mouth to tell them about Ryan, and being spotted out with him for dinner, before shutting it firmly again. She’d promised herself she wouldn’t think about that, not until their negotiations on Wednesday.
‘The business is going well?’ Kitty asked. ‘Oh, I’m so happy for you. Cesca sent me some pictures, your flower arrangements are gorgeous.’
‘They really are,’ Cesca agreed. �
��I want her to do my wedding flowers. We’ll get you and Poppy to England somehow.’
‘Cesca’s right, you’re doing so well. You’re a single mum, you’ve started up a business, and you’re standing up to your asshole ex. One day he’s going to wake up and realise what he’s thrown away, and I wish I could be there to witness it.’ Lucy grinned. ‘Because by that point, you won’t give a damn.’
‘Because she’ll be in the arms of a good man,’ Kitty added, always the romantic. ‘One who knows exactly how to take care of a woman.’
‘She’s already been in the arms of one,’ Cesca pointed out, then covered her mouth in horror. ‘Oh bugger. Sorry, Jules.’
‘What?’ Kitty asked loudly. ‘What man?’
‘Is there something you’re not telling us about?’ Lucy asked, leaning forward with interest. ‘Or someone?’
‘It’s nothing.’ Juliet shook her head. ‘Cesca’s exaggerating.’
‘Cesca doesn’t exaggerate.’ Lucy’s eyes were narrow. ‘So who is he?’
That question struck closer to home than Lucy realised. Because, really, who was Ryan? A neighbour? A friend? A man who could make her laugh and scream and swoon with lust.
A man she’d fallen for, without even knowing it?
The problem was, he was all those things, and yet none of them really mattered. He’d be leaving next year when the school year ended, and she’d be left here in Shaw Haven, dealing with everything the way she always had.
‘Nobody.’
‘Oh come on, he didn’t look much like a nobody to me,’ Cesca said. ‘Unless nobody means tall, hot, and with a massive crush on you.’
‘He’s just a friend.’ Juliet shrugged. ‘He lives next door.’
Kitty grinned. ‘The boy next door? Oh, I’m intrigued now. What’s his name?’
‘He’s definitely not a boy,’ Cesca said. ‘He was all man when I met him. I thought Sam was tall and muscled, but Ryan kinda dwarfed him. Is it wrong to say I wanted to lick his biceps?’
‘I don’t know who to be more annoyed with for keeping this a secret,’ Lucy said. ‘Jules, why haven’t you said anything? And Cesca, you are too guarded for your own good. I’m the eldest, you’re supposed to tell me everything.’
‘There isn’t anything to tell,’ Juliet said quietly. ‘Honestly, he’s a lovely guy, but he’s going to be leaving next summer. We’re friends, there can’t really be any more than that.’ She didn’t sound very convincing. And why should she? It was obvious there was no long-term future in it, but that didn’t mean she was okay with it.
‘What if he doesn’t leave?’ Lucy asked. ‘What if he decides to stay? How will you feel about that?’
Juliet rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands, the pressure causing stars to explode against the black backdrop of her lids. When she opened them again, the stars remained in her vision for a moment, a shimmering veil that obscured the faces of her sisters.
‘I don’t know,’ she replied, her focus finally becoming sharp. ‘Because it won’t happen. He’ll leave town to move to New York, and I’ll be here sharing custody with Thomas.’ She took a breath in, trying to ignore the tightness inside her that always seemed to come when she thought of Ryan leaving. ‘It’s just a fling, that’s all.’ She didn’t sound convincing.
All three of her sisters were smiling sympathetically at her. They’d grown older since those days when the four of them roamed the house while their father hid himself away in his office, mumbling about writing a paper or doing some research, but they were still a gang of four. They were spread far and wide, but they were a family and it counted for a lot.
‘Would you be willing to agree to a 70/30 split in custody?’ Mary Reynolds, the divorce mediator turned from Juliet to look at Thomas. He was sat at the end of the table, his arms folded against his chest.
‘As long as the financial agreement is based on a 50/50 split, then yes,’ his lawyer interjected. Thomas’s face betrayed no emotion. ‘I don’t see why he should be penalised for being gracious.’ Thomas was wearing a new suit – or at least it had been bought since Juliet had moved out – another reminder of how their lives were moving on. ‘And we’d like any personal property that existed before the marriage to remain outside the agreement.’
In the months since Juliet had moved out of the Marshall Estate, they’d each met with the mediator four times. This final meeting was the first time all of them had been in the room together, with the aim of agreeing the terms of their separation. Once those terms formed part of their divorce, they would be legally binding.
‘Would you like some time to think about that?’ the mediator addressed Juliet.
Juliet glanced sideways at her own lawyer. They’d discussed this earlier, and her lawyer had been vehement in telling her to pursue more. But the settlement would still be generous – enough to not worry about paying the rent, or feeding her child, and that was all she needed. ‘I don’t need time,’ Juliet said. ‘I can agree to it now.’
She wasn’t sure who looked more shocked; Thomas, his lawyer or the mediator. The three of them were staring at her, frowning.
‘Okay then,’ the mediator finally said, scribbling on the pad in front of her. ‘So I think that’s all the points agreed.’
‘I wanted to add a final discussion point in,’ Thomas said. It was the tone of his voice that alerted her, she recognised it all too well. The same tone he used when he thought he was getting one over on her.
The mediator had no choice but to let him speak. That was the problem with mediation, it was only binding if both parties agreed. Either of them could stand up right now and leave, and all these months of negotiation would be for nothing.
She’d been anxious through the whole meeting, her body on high alert for any Thomas-style curve balls he might think of. Every time he’d opened his mouth she’d expected him to mention seeing Richard Stanhope at the golf club on Sunday, and ask her about Ryan and what he meant to her. The fact he’d gotten through an hour of mediation without talking about any of it had given her a false sense of comfort. Maybe the Stanhopes had kept her business quiet after all.
His next words told her it wasn’t over yet.
‘I want to have a veto over any partners she may have until the divorce is absolute.’
‘What?’ The word escaped her mouth before she could stop it.
‘Well that’s very unusual,’ the mediator said. ‘I’m not sure we should do that.’
Juliet took a sharp breath in. Had he been saving this all along, waiting to spring it on her when she least expected it? That was something he’d do, wasn’t it?
‘If we’re going to discuss that, which we’re not agreeing to at all,’ Gloria Erkhart, Juliet’s lawyer, said, ‘then we’d want it to cover both parties. Mrs Marshall should also have a veto.’
Thomas caught Juliet’s eye. ‘I’m in a committed relationship, and my daughter has already met my partner. I’m comfortable that her spending time around Nicole isn’t disruptive. However, my wife’s situation is more … ’ He paused for effect. ‘Unstable. And if she’s going to have Poppy for seventy per cent of the time, I think it’s only fair I have the right to say who she brings into the home.’
‘That’s bullshit,’ Juliet spat out. ‘You know I’d never do anything to hurt Poppy.’
Thomas kept hold of her gaze, his own unwavering. ‘I don’t know what you’d do, Juliet. I never thought you’d hit anybody, either, but you did. After we separated I realised how troubled you were. Maybe another condition should be getting some therapy for your anger problems.’
It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him to go screw himself. Maybe if she didn’t love her daughter as much as she did, it would be an option. But as everybody had told her – as long as Poppy was a minor Juliet had to deal with this asshole sitting across the table from her, and as delicious as it would be to flounce out, it wouldn’t achieve anything.
Apart from giving him some satisfaction.
‘I c
an’t agree to that.’ She kept her reply terse.
‘Why not?’
‘Because it’s unreasonable. I let you make decisions for me for the past seven years. I refuse to do it any more.’
‘So you’d rather put our daughter in danger?’
She hated the way he kept his voice so reasonable. He had this way of making himself look like the good guy even when he was completely in the wrong. The trouble was, she’d let him, and he’d grown stronger, and now he thought he was invincible.
Even though he’d been the one to cheat, and the one to introduce his daughter to the other woman, without so much as consulting Juliet, he was still trying to turn it back on her.
Well, he could try as hard as he wanted. She wasn’t going to let him get away with it this time.
‘I’ve never put our daughter in danger,’ she told him. ‘Everything I do has her best interests at heart. I’m not the one who ended this marriage, and I’m not the one who brought another woman home and had sex with her in our bed. If you want to talk about instability, let’s talk about morals, too. And whether you or Nicole actually have any.’
‘I really don’t think this is helping … ’
Thomas waved the mediator off. ‘You want to talk about morals, sweetheart? Why don’t we talk about how you accidentally fell pregnant and forced me to marry you? Or how you physically assaulted my new partner. Don’t come the high horse with me, because you’re going to lose.’ He leaned across the table, his face twisted with fury. ‘If I don’t trust you with our daughter, that’s because you haven’t earned any trust. I ask you for reasonable things and you do everything you can to put up roadblocks.’
‘Is that what this is about?’ she asked him. ‘Are you punishing me because I didn’t agree to you having Poppy for Christmas?’
Thomas laughed. ‘You’re making it all about you again. I just want what’s in my daughter’s best interest.’
‘She’s our daughter, and I want what’s best for her too. But that doesn’t include you having any say in my personal life. I won’t agree to anything that gives you control over me.’ She felt empowered, as though a weight was falling from her shoulders and smashing to smithereens on the ground. Thomas stared at her, as though surprised at her vehemence. He wasn’t used to not getting his own way.