She nodded. “I do find it difficult. My father never talked about the facts of life, and there were no women around to ask.”
“I know. I understand.”
Abby stiffened. “Well, it may be understandable but it isn’t excusable. You’re my husband and I should be able to trust you with anything, but I didn’t. I was afraid of your rejection, but really I just didn’t trust you enough.”
A flicker of pain crossed his features. He’d known that, of course he had. But hearing her put it into words stung.
She turned suddenly, and caught sight of his expression. “I hurt you. When you overheard me talking to Holly, it hurt you, didn’t it? It must have felt like a betrayal.”
His face shadowed and he stared down at his boots. “Yes.”
“I broke our promise. Not to cause harm.”
Shock flickered across his features. “No, honey—”
“Yes. Harm isn’t just physical.”
“But it was my fault, too.”
She shook her head. “I let you down... I let us down. I’d trust you with my life – but I didn’t trust you with this.”
Her face was grim but composed as she took his hands in hers. “I didn’t trust you then, but I do now. I trust you to do the right thing.”
Mac stared at her, and her big blue eyes met his. Suddenly, he realized what she meant. “Abby, I can’t. I can’t. What you did... how you felt... was understandable.”
“But not right. Not at all. What chance do we have if we can’t talk to each other openly?”
He sighed. He knew what she meant, and he couldn’t deny that he’d wanted to give her a good spanking when he’d heard her speaking to Holly rather than him. And if a spanking would reinforce the need for her to confide in him, then he’d do it. The success of their marriage depended on it.
His hands tightened round hers, his eyes solemn. “I haven’t spanked you since we married,” he said in a low voice.
“I know.”
He swallowed. “You remember what I said about after we were married?”
Her face flushed. “Yes.” Her voice was barely a whisper. “You said you would do it... without my underwear.”
“You’re ready for that?”
Her eyes flashed up to his, shocked. “What – now?”
He nodded, wondering why she was so taken aback. “It would be cruel to leave it hanging over you.”
“But – outside?”
He looked around at the quiet glade. He hadn’t thought about the fact that it was outdoors. “Honey, this place is on my property, and I’m the only person who knows it’s here. There’s no one for miles around. Do you really think I’d suggest exposing my wife somewhere where anyone could see her?”
She looked at her feet. She could feel herself start to shake. Although she knew she needed this spanking, needed to feel some ease from her anger and guilt, the threat of a bare bottom spanking was still enough to make her quail. It would be so embarrassing. And to do it in the open air… “I... suppose not,” she said. “But maybe I should keep my underwear on.”
He shook his head. “You’re my wife now. If we’re going to do this, we should do it properly.”
She heard the resolve in his voice, and swallowed hard. Suddenly she was very aware that beneath his calm demeanor, Mac was formidably upset.
“Okay,” she whispered, looking up at him apprehensively.
His face was all sharp planes and angles. She could see that he’d drawn into himself, had committed himself to the course of action. “You know what you have to do, Abby.”
Everything in her rebelled at the humiliation of being watched undressing by Mac in this mood. Would she really have to take off her jeans outside in the open air? She cast an anxious look around, as if fearful that someone would materialize in the glade with them.
But the glade was peaceful, the birds sang in the tall trees and the sun glittered on the still water.
She cast a last beseeching glance at Mac, and then with shaking hands she unfastened the button of her jeans. Slowly she unzipped them, still unable to believe that she was really going to expose herself like this. But Mac made no move to stop her, as she dragged them inch by reluctant inch over the firm curve of her bottom.
She paused, suddenly realizing that she hadn’t removed her boots, and would be unable to get her jeans off. But when she bent to pull them off, Mac said, “Leave them. Just take your jeans down to your knees. It’ll stop you kicking about so much.”
Abby stiffened at the vivid mental image his words evoked. She could see herself, bent over his knee, bottom ablaze, wriggling to try to get away from the sting of his hard hand. It was abundantly clear he didn’t intend her to wriggle very far.
Nerves clutched at her stomach. For a moment, she felt like running away. And then she caught herself. It was entirely her own fault that she was in this position, and she herself had raised the fact that a spanking was needed.
Reluctantly, she straightened, and drew her jeans down to her knees. The soft, warm air and gentle breeze caressed the cheeks of her bottom with a lover’s touch. She stared at the grass at her feet, feeling a scorching blush flare across her cheeks.
“Now your panties, Abby.”
The color in her face fled, leaving her white. She couldn’t do it. She really couldn’t reveal herself in the open air like this. But a quick glance at his determined expression told her that if she didn’t do it, he would do it for her. And she had no doubt that that would be infinitely worse, and a thousand times more humiliating, if he did.
Jaw clenched, she hooked her fingers into the elastic of her small, lacy white panties and drew them over her bottom and down her legs. Her breath was ragged as she straightened, feeling impossibly exposed with her panties rucked up with her jeans around her knees.
Mac moved to sit against a convenient tree stump. “Come here, Abby.”
With difficulty, she did as he said until she was standing by his legs.
“Kneel down.”
Awkwardly, she did as he said, then gave a small shriek as he moved her and lifted her over his legs so that she was face down with her bottom arched in the air over his knees.
Her face flooded with color as she imagined what he could see. It was so embarrassing to be here like this, and nerve-wracking, too. Her body was already anticipating the punishment to come, and she couldn’t help but quiver nervously.
She jumped as Mac stroked his big hand over her buttocks.
“Steady, sweetheart,” he murmured, and she tried to calm herself. The warmth of his touch reassured her, and she relaxed imperceptibly.
As if he understood that she was now ready, he said firmly, “Now, tell me why you’re here.”
Abby breathed deeply. It was difficult to take being questioned like this, being forced to admit her wrongdoing. In some ways, it was harder speaking than taking the spanking. But she managed to force out, “Because... because I didn’t tell you what was worrying me.” She stared down at the grass, breathing in the fresh green scent. Everything was still, quiet.
“And what else?” he probed.
“I... I didn’t trust you enough. I was afraid that if I admitted how I felt, you might be shocked.”
“Mmm hmm. And?”
“And I talked to Holly about it, when I should have talked to you.”
He sighed. “I don’t mind you talking to Holly about things,” he said. “Just so long as you tell me when things are worrying you. I know you’ve been self-sufficient for most of your life, and that your father wasn’t one for expressing his feelings, but you’ve got to learn to share your thoughts with me.”
His fingers were absently caressing her bottom as he spoke, and she shivered with pleasure even as she acknowledged the truth of his words. “I know,” she said.
His hand stilled. “And that’s what this spanking is for,” he said firmly. “To make you realize that it’s essential for you to share yourself. I don’t just love and want your body; I want you
, the real Abby.”
“Yes,” she whispered. She wanted that too, so much. She wanted him to know the private, real person underneath.
“Ready, Abby?”
“Yes.”
“Count for me – to ten.”
There was silence, and then she suddenly realized that he was waiting for her to count.
“Oh! One...”
His hand came down on her bottom with a sharp thwack. She grunted at the sudden sting, and then felt her bottom burn. Gasping for breath, she waited for the next one to come.
“Yes, ‘one’,” he ground out. “And if you ever fail to tell me something that’s worrying you so much ever again, this spanking will look like child’s play.”
Thwack! She gasped, as his hand came down hard. “T-two,” she breathed.
Her bottom burned and stung and she wriggled helplessly to try to ease the discomfort. Observing it, Mac took hold of her waist firmly to hold her still.
“ ‘Two’ – and if you ever, ever fail to tell me something I need to know, just because you’re worried how I’ll react, you’ll really be in trouble.”
His hand came down again and this time, she couldn’t help but moan. Heat burned her bottom, and she fought to move her hips. But he held her tightly, and she felt her helplessness acutely.
“Three,” she panted, trying to absorb the pain.
“ ‘Three’, I expect you to tell me when there are things wrong between us.”
Thwack! She couldn’t help herself, and cried out. Tears stung the back of her eyes. “F-four.”
“Can you imagine what it did to me to hear you confide in Holly, not me? I’m your husband.”
Thwack!
“Ah! I’m sorry, I’m sorry—”
“Count, Abby!”
“Five!”
His hand flashed down again, and this time Abby yelled, fighting in earnest. Tears rolled down her cheeks. “Ow! It hurts.”
“It should hurt! You need to learn.”
“I know... I’m sorry... six...”
Smack! The sound of his big hand against the plump flesh of her bottom sounded loud in the quiet glade. Abby wailed. “Seven.”
His hand came down again, and Abby howled, even as she felt herself start to lose it. Tears poured down her face and off her chin. All the worry and guilt came pouring out. “I’m so sorry, Mac—”
“It’s not good enough to be sorry. I need you to learn to talk to me! Count!”
“Oh! Eight.”
His hand came down again, and she arched at the impact of his strong hand. She screamed. “Mac, please—”
“Nearly there, baby. You know you have to take it. Now tell me. Tell me what you want. Tell me what you told Holly.”
“What! I can’t.”
His hand walloped down and this time she fought him, desperate to move, to get away from his question.
“N-nine.”
“This is what this spanking’s all about, baby,” he said quietly, his strength subduing hers easily. His voice sounded shattered. “You have to be able to tell me things, or we might as well give it all up now.”
Tears poured from her eyes and her bottom burned. Her nose ran and her damp hair tangled around her face. He stroked her trembling globes with his firm hand.
“Come on Abby, let’s have it,” he said in a driven undertone. “You’re not getting up until you do, if you have to stay over my lap ‘til midnight.”
She lay helplessly over his knee, shaking and sobbing. She knew she needed to tell him – she wanted to tell him. But it was so hard to say the words—
“Abby.” Mac’s voice was harsh. “Count!”
“Ten!” she yelled, and then his hand came down on the burning center of her bottom with such a sharp whack that it stole her breath away. Wild, rasping sobs tore from her throat and she knew she was at the end of her tether.
“Tell me Abby, tell me!” he ground out, and then her control broke and the words tumbled uncensored from her lips.
“Okay, okay... I’ll tell you. You want to know what I want, I want you! I want to taste you like you tasted me, to know what it feels like to have you in my mouth! I want to know if you’ll shiver and groan like I do! I want to make you feel like that! I want to sit astride you... and make love in the sunshine... and in the shower... I want everything....”
She sobbed, shaking and incoherent, and with a muffled exclamation, Mac scooped her up off his knee, and cradled her in his strong arms. Helplessly, she tried to cover her tear stained face, but he drew her hands away. Rummaging quickly in his pocket, he drew out a handkerchief and gently mopped up her tears.
“Oh, baby,” he said huskily. “I thought you were never going to admit it all to me.”
Her vulnerable eyes sought his. “You... you don’t mind?”
He closed his eyes tightly, and pulled her against him in a bear hug. “Sweetheart, in five minutes, when you’ve caught your breath, I’m going to show you just how much I don’t mind.”
She was too distraught to understand what he meant, but the love and reassurance in his tone got through and she relaxed in his arms. Still sobbing quietly, she clung to him, her small hands holding onto his strong arms.
“I… I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid.”
Mac grimaced. “I’m sorry too, honey,” he said. “I should have made more time for us to be alone, to talk. I won’t make that mistake again. From now on, we’re going to make time for ourselves, time to talk. And, I want to make a deal with you.”
“A deal?”
“Mmm. What if we promise to tell each other if we want to do something, or try something, in bed? But if either of us isn’t comfortable with it, we just won’t do it.”
Abby thought about it for a moment. It seemed like a good plan. There was no way she would want Mac to do anything he wasn’t comfortable with, and she knew he felt the same way about her.
Abby nestled against him, breathing deeply. Her bottom felt as if it was glowing with heat. “That sounds like a good idea. Let’s go with that.”
She felt Mac’s hard body relax, and realized with a shock that he hadn’t been sure of her response. His arms contracted around her. “How are you feeling, honey?”
“Oh…” She blushed; she couldn’t help it. “My bottom is burning, but the rest of me feels… relaxed. Relieved. Glad to have it all out in the open.”
In truth, she didn’t just feel relaxed. Being spanked on her bare bottom had aroused more than just contrition, and Abby felt oddly, but intensely, aroused to be laying in his fully clothed arms whilst she was half undressed and exposed to his gaze.
In a moment of clarity, she realized that the response she had just given him had hidden that truth from him. She swallowed. Her spanking had been to teach her to confide in him, and here was the perfect opportunity to show what she’d learned. She moved uneasily in his arms, feeling awkward.
“Actually,” she blurted out, “I don’t just feel relaxed. I feel… well…” She hesitated, and his thoughtful eyes looked down curiously into hers.
“What do you feel, Abby?”
She swallowed, hard, then took his hand and laid it on her most intimate part. She knew he would be able to feel the heat, the need. “I feel… I feel… as if I want you!”
Mac’s face froze, and his hand cupped her possessively. A dull flush ran over his cheekbones, and his eyes darkened. “Do you, now?” he breathed.
She felt his body react to her words, hard beneath her thighs. She swallowed.
Suddenly, he lifted her off his knee. “Right,” he said decisively. “Time to put your money where your mouth is, Abby.”
He lay back in the soft grass, folding his arms behind his head. “Honey, when I heard you talking to Holly, it sounded as if you had a whole wish list of things you wanted to do. Well, here I am. We’re alone, it’s quiet, and we’ve got all of the time in the world. I’m all yours.”
Abby stared at his powerful body, relaxed and a
t ease in the soft grass. Beneath her nervousness, she felt a spiral of excitement deep inside. She could do anything, anything she wanted, to this man, her handsome, wonderful husband. Her heart soared at the wonder of it.
But where to start?
With a choked laugh, she turned her back to him and yanked off her boots before carefully pulling down the jeans and panties tangled round her legs. Her buttocks felt tender as she bent over, and she was sure her rear was a rosy red. She heard him gasp and hid a smile. Then, knowing he would enjoy the sight, she turned around and slowly unbuttoned her shirt to reveal a pretty, white, lacy bra beneath.
Mac’s luminous eyes watched every move as she slowly peeled open the soft cloth to reveal the alabaster curves below. He lay still, but his gaze was intent, and there was tension in the taut lines of his face. Slowly, trying not to blush, she removed her shirt and then her bra, leaving her naked and beautiful in the sunshine.
She felt the gentle sun stroke across her bare skin and trembled.
Mac let out a soft moan. “Sweetheart, you are so beautiful,” he breathed, watching the play of dappled sunshine over her slender, smooth body.
He looked like a man who desperately wanted to take action, but he remained still as she approached him, her sleek body moving sensuously in the open air.
All around them, the water lapped the shore and the birds sang and Mac knew that he’d remember this day for the rest of his life.
Abby was thinking similar thoughts. Her heart was beating wildly, and she was aroused beyond bearing. The passion in his eyes had eradicated her shyness, and now she just wanted to be with her husband, to enjoy him and love him.
Gracefully, she knelt down beside him. His eyes drank in the sight of her pretty breasts. And then gently she began to undo his shirt.
She smiled as she heard the tenor of his breathing change. “Sit up,” she breathed, as she unfastened the last button, and he did as he was told. She saw the conflict in his face, his yearning desire to reach out and touch her, but he restrained himself and kept his clenched hands by his sides.
Tugging the shirt from his waistband, she drew it down his arms and dropped it on the grass.
Oh, he was so handsome. Abby ran her hands over the soft sprinkling of hairs on his chest, enjoying the warm strength of his body, the curve of his muscles. He shivered, and she saw his nipples tighten as her hands stroked over his hard muscles. Smiling, she bent down to take a delicate nub into her mouth.
Teaching Abby (Lone Star Family Values) Page 10