List of Dwarves in order of hottest:
13. Balin - he's cool, but let's face it, he's old.
12. Dori - too scary.
11. Oin - I don't remember him.
10. Bifur - he is odd.
9. Gloin - he's too serious.
8. Dwalin - he is bald, but hairy everywhere else.
7. Nori - braided beard is cool.
6. Ori - kind of sweet.
5. Bofur - he plays music.
4. Bombur - the beard is hot and he may be fat, but he is lovable.
3. Kili - so dreamy and he fell in love with an Elf.
2. Fili - the blond braids.
1. Thorin - he is the king.
She giggled as she read the list, her hand resting on mine.
"Oh, my goodness, I can't believe I did that." She squeezed my hand.
"So you like guys with power?" I winked. "That's cool."
"Thorin went crazy with power if I remember correctly," she said.
"But he came to his senses and helped save his friends in the end."
"He was misunderstood," she said as she looked up, bit her lip, and grinned.
Why do I get the feeling she wasn't talking about the dwarf?
Her hand left my arm, and I missed it. Her gaze turned back to the book.
I fought the urge to turn her back to me. I had all these alpha thoughts when it came to this girl, but wasn't sure if my usual moves would turn her on or scare her away.
I tried not to look at her, but I couldn't help it. When I looked at her, I tended to stare. It took more effort than I realized not to act inappropriately around her. I respected her even though that dress made my mind think not-so-appropriate thoughts.
I turned back to the table instead.
Chicken.
I pulled out her chair and motioned for her to sit. When she passed, the scent of her hair overwhelmed my senses. I stifled a groan.
I headed back to the kitchen to regain my composure.
I finished bringing the food out to the table.
She stared out the window as I poured the wine.
How did this happen? Was the universe playing with me? No way was I right for her, but I wanted her.
I made a decision. I would enjoy being with her while I could because soon enough, she would discover I wasn't good enough for her and leave me anyway.
Eight
Callie
A few months ago, I wrote a blog post about Noah and Carrie fighting, which was weird because all their other adventures had them acting like the perfect couple. The blog post had Noah storming out and leaving the door open. Nip followed. A couple of hours later, they both returned. Noah and Carrie stood on opposite of the room, not saying a word, staring each other down. Minutes ticked by until he reached out and she reached out, and they fell into each other’s arms. He carried her upstairs, and well, you know what happened next.
Sitting here with him now, trying to pretend, had my emotions messed up.
In real life, all those same feelings of anger, sadness, lust, and joy, all mixed together when he stared down at me, but instead of wanting him, I wanted to run away.
I was a fraud.
I spent an evening pretending this man hadn't been at the forefront of my mind for the last four years. I felt sorry for myself because I never even thought about what I would do. What I would say if I actually had a chance to meet him. Separating real life from the stuff I had written about him messed with my mind.
It pissed me off because if my mind weren't so confused, I could really fall for this man.
He wore dark blue jeans, a black sweater, and the same black leather high tops. When he pulled out the chair for me, I could have sworn he smelled my hair in a sweet but creepy kind of way. He had an understated sexy presence about him that I didn't expect only having seen his boisterous and cocky side on the football field.
My mouth watered as he set a plate of pasta and his already famous sauce in front of me. The garlicky smell wafted in the air as he sat the bread on the table.
He dropped into the seat across from me and smiled.
"Please dig in." He pointed.
I twirled the spaghetti on my fork and took a bite. I followed it with a sip of the deep red wine. I stifled a moan as the flavor spread warmth through my bones.
"Yum."
Noah grinned from ear to ear and dug in himself.
We enjoyed the food in silence for a few minutes. I wanted to ask him more about himself, but I didn't want to be nosy. I didn't want to ask him trivial stuff I already knew the answer to either. I wanted to get to know him.
"So why are you hiding out in Brooklyn?" I asked.
"You've Googled me already? Read about all the bad stuff," he asked with a chuckle, but the amusement didn't reach his eyes.
"No." I took another sip of wine. "I thought about it, but figured since you were here, I could just ask you myself. I'm one of those people who believe the Internet is ruining interpersonal relationships."
He stared at me, maybe trying to figure out if I was kidding or not.
I wasn't. I did think that, never mind my own Internet addiction. My blog had been the best part of my life for a long time, and I understood better than anyone how sad and pathetic it made me.
He scrunched his nose and set his fork down.
"I'm sorry." I sat my fork down. "I didn't mean to pry."
"No, it's okay. It's not like it's a secret." He took a sip of wine and then downed the rest of his glass.
"Last summer, I met this girl named Sophie at a club in LA." He shrugged his shoulders. "She was cool. I liked her. She didn’t seem so impressed with me, which is kind of a turn-on."
"She wasn't a football fan?"
"It's what I thought, but then it turned out she was a serial athlete dater."
He paused.
I nodded.
"You really want to hear this?" he asked stalling.
"If you want to talk about it, I'll listen." I knew sharing past indiscretions wasn't proper first date conversation, but it sounded like he needed to tell his side of the story.
"We hung out until I headed back to San Diego for the last OTA before training camp." He paused. "She showed up on my doorstep a few days later."
"That's kind of stalker like."
"Maybe, but we spent time together, she showed no signs of crazy. I figured why not."
"Guy's gotta eat, right?" I lowered my eyes.
Noah's gaze bored into me.
I didn't acknowledge it. I returned to my pasta and pushed the image of Noah and the girl out of my head.
"So you let her in?" I peeked up.
He cheeks reddened and he furrowed his brow.
"I was heading to training camp in a couple of weeks, so there was no harm in her staying until then. My first mistake of many mistakes was not being clear."
Noah took a sip of his wine and stared out the window.
"When I left for training camp, she asked if she could stay while I was gone. When I got home from training camp, she had all but moved in. Even had her mail delivered to my house. That was the last straw, and I asked her to leave."
"But, she didn't."
"No. She did at first, but over the next couple of months, she would show up. Nothing stalker-like. San Diego is a small town. She would show up at my grocery store or at a party I was attending."
"That's very stalker-ish."
"Yeah, well, I didn't see it."
"Whatever." I shook my head.
"It's so fucking hard." Noah whispered. "To find someone you connect with in this world. I don't know maybe it was obvious, but I still didn't see it."
I blinked. The pain in his voice hit me in the heart, but he pissed me off, too. We had a connection. If he's comparing what we have with what he had with Sophie, than what was the point.
"So, you got back together again?" I asked.
"I didn't usually date much during the season, so when she would suggest we keep it casual, I thought o
kay. I told you I wasn't thinking clear." He smiled, and it made me smile.
"So we were getting near the middle of the season, and she had worked her way back into my life again. I asked her to leave, again. She was getting too clingy. I had to ask her to leave a few more times. She wasn't getting it."
I waited for him to continue.
"What did you do?"
"I moved her out." Noah dropped his fork.
The clinking against the plate startled me.
"What do you mean?" I leaned forward. "Moved her out."
"Packed her shit. Changed the locks. Changed my cell phone. Put her up in a hotel for a week in LA and sent her a text to leave me alone."
"You totally ghosted her. Wow." I put my own fork down. "That was harsh."
"Would you believe me if I told you I felt like an ass for doing it." Noah rubbed his face.
"Did you really?"
"I did. And I'm not just saying that because of what happened after. I regret a lot of things, but treating her like that …" He shook his head. "I regret that the most."
I believed him. I placed my hands on the table.
"I never heard from her after that and then two weeks later, I got arrested outside of the practice facility for aggravated assault and battery." Noah looked away, but the regret seeped off him. "Next day the headlines read, superstar athlete arrested for beating up pregnant girlfriend. There's even a video. Check it out on YouTube."
His eyes darted around.
My heart sank.
He couldn't look at me.
"Sophie took it all back a few days later," Noah blinked. "Damage was already done."
"Did she every say why she did it?"
"In her statement, she said a friend talked her into pressing charges. She was tired of men like me using her and throwing her away. All she wanted was to be in a relationship with someone who could take care of her and help her make a better life for herself.
"What she did was illegal?" I sat up. "Wasn't it?"
"The cops asked if I wanted to press charges against her." He shook his head. "I couldn't. I didn't want to add to her problems. I just wished I had handled it differently, you know?
"Noah." I touched his forearm. "I'm so sorry."
He stared at my hand wrapped around his wrist. His muscles flexed under my touch.
A lump formed in my throat. I could feel the sadness and regret in his body; I could see it in his droopy, bloodshot eyes and in the slump of his shoulders.
My fantasies had given him this outward cocky persona where he only let his guard down with me, but I couldn't create the broken man sitting next to me. His own antics scared him. The incident had rocked him to the core.
"So that's why I'm taking a break from the world." He withdrew his arm and sat back.
I had forgotten my original question.
"Makes sense. But you know it wasn't your fault."
"Fuck that." Noah scooted back in his chair. "It was my fault. I didn't need to treat her like that. I could have treated her like a human being."
"So you learn from it and you don't put yourself in those situations in the future." I pushed the plate away. "You are a decent guy, Noah. It's admirable that you're more pissed off at yourself, but you can't keep beating yourself up over it. You're not a bad guy. "
Nine
Noah
Her gaze caused a knot to form in my stomach.
"You want some more wine?" I asked.
"Yeah, sure." She placed her hands in her lap.
I stood up and headed into the kitchen to grab the bottle. I needed a minute. She thought I was a decent guy. She was naive and clueless. I was a bad guy.
I placed my hands on the counter, trying to control my emotions. I jumped when she placed her hand on my back.
"Hey. You okay?" Her sweet kind voice made me hate myself because I didn't deserve someone as innocent and pure as Callie.
I squeezed my eyes shut and then opened them and turned to her. Her hand fell and I wanted nothing more than to have her comfort me. I didn't deserve it, but I wanted it. I wanted her. I needed to feel connected to her. Not just because she was the only one here, but also because if someone like her could like me, then maybe I wasn't all bad.
I caressed her cheek with the back of my hand.
She leaned into my touch. Her fingers flexed over my abs.
I tensed.
I ran my hand through her hair while cradling her face with the other.
I raised her chin and studied her eyes, searching for something.
Is this girl for real?
I hated my skepticism about everyone; the incident had me doubting my own judgment.
If she trusted me, the least I could do was trust her.
I leaned over, closed my eyes, and brushed my lips over hers. The contact was brief, but sexy as hell. I stifled a moan and snaked my hand behind her neck to pull her close and keep her lips on mine.
A low moan breathed life back into me.
He fingers flexed and squeezed my flesh.
I turned her around so her back was against the counter as I pressed my tongue into her mouth.
She hesitated and pulled back.
I opened my eyes and saw confusion and excitement in her precious green eyes. I ran my thumb over her lower lip.
She closed her eyes and opened them.
I watched.
Her lips puckered and she kissed my thumb. She reached up and took my hand, pulled it down.
My knuckles grazed the inside swell of her breast.
She leaned up and kissed me back with more urgency and passion. I didn't bother hiding the moan as her tongue twisted over mine.
My other hand remained fisted in her hair. I applied more pressure.
Callie turned her face and pulled away.
In my long list of first kisses, Callie's kiss surpassed them all. I tried to convey that to her. I wanted to thank her for listening and not judging me, but when I opened my eyes, she had turned away.
My chest ached. "I'm sorry," I said.
She placed her fingertips over her lips. She hadn't acknowledged me. She was in her own world.
I could feel the impression of her lips on mine, too.
I shook my head as I went back into the living room, collapsed on the couch, and placing my head in my hands.
She followed.
"Noah," she said my name.
My shoulders sank. I didn't answer her.
She scooted closer, placed her hand on my leg, and squeezed.
I dropped my left hand and covered hers. I leaned on one hand and peered at her. I wanted to kiss her again.
"You're adorable," she said. It made me smile.
"I've heard that before."
"Aww and I thought I was different."
"You are different." I peeked at her.
"That a good thing, right?" She asked.
"Absolutely."
"You're nothing like I expected," she said.
I narrowed my eyes and tilted my head. Before I could ask her what she meant by that, she leaned over, licked her lips, and kissed me. A firmer kiss than I had delivered, and I liked it. I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her closer. She sat up on her knees and leaned into me.
"Your lips are sweet." I cupped her face and kissed her cheek.
"Yours are spicy like the sauce." We laughed, and she kissed me again, drawing my bottom lip between hers. She continued to plant small kisses along my jaw and down my neck.
I wanted her to continue and see where this led, but I also didn't want to rush into anything. We had all the time in the world.
Then something out the window caught my eye.
"Hey, Callie."
She leaned back.
"It's snowing."
She turned toward the window. "Oh, wow."
She stood up and pulled me along toward the bay window in the front of the house. The snow had started to accumulate on the deserted streets. The ground sparkled with the light from the st
reet lamps reflected off the fallen snowflakes. I placed my hands on her shoulders and massaged them.
She sighed and leaned her head back on my chest. She reached up, pulled my hands away from her shoulders, and wrapped them around her waist. I leaned down, kissed her cheek, and placed my chin on her shoulder.
"I forgot to thank you for dinner," she said.
"You're welcome." I kissed her neck, and she leaned into it.
"But you never actually answered my questions," she said.
"What questions?"
"Why are you hiding out in Brooklyn? You could have gone anywhere."
"I don't know. I guess Brooklyn has been the one place in the world where I feel like I can be myself."
She turned to me and gave me a smile that made me think she wanted to tell me something. She kissed me instead and turned back to the window to watch the snow.
We cleaned up and returned to the couch to make out some more. I felt like we were both conscious of not taking it too far too fast. We spent more time making out when I walked her home. When she opened her door, Noel busted out and headed for the back stairs. We huddled together for warmth and laughed as the little dog navigated through the snow to do his business.
We both were freezing our butts off. When Callie called Noel, he wouldn't come. She tried for several minutes before I relented, went down, and grabbed the dog. She thanked me by warming me up with more hot kisses.
It didn't take long.
When we finally said good night, I lay in bed and thought about my confession. For once, my honesty worked in my favor. She didn't judge me for my mistakes.
I wanted to take things slow. I touched my lips as she had before. I could feel her; I could taste her. My hands roamed over her body in spots bordering on the best parts of her, and it was almost as satisfying.
I said almost.
I laughed at myself. If my teammates could see me now, they wouldn't believe it.
Of course, they would understand when they saw Callie. She was gorgeous and sexy. I couldn't believe she didn't have guys falling over themselves to be with her.
Or maybe she did.
I needed to ask. We might be more alike than I originally thought.
After all, she was hiding out in Brooklyn, too.
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