by Zoe Forward
“What’s that?” she asked. “Is it the drug call Blackout?”
“Yes. It’s an experimental drug out of a lab in Valencia. Fascinating work. Most of the initial studies have been on rats, but there are several militaries around the world playing with it.”
“Will I get my memory back?”
“Probably not if someone used it on you.” Dom pulled off the gloves and dropped them in a trash bin.
“Isn’t there an antidote?”
“No. It’s permanent, as far as I know. It wouldn’t make you forget you’re lycan, though. That would’ve required something like hypnosis before you had the drug injected.”
“How does this work for you to figure out what happened to her memories? Like who she is?” Roman asked. “We need to find her people.”
Although she wanted to know something about her past, she didn’t want the information stolen from her. She wanted to play a firm part in the remembering aspect. Seemed as if Roman was excited to get her issue solved, perhaps to get her out of his life as fast as possible.
“There are flickers in her mind,” Dom said evasively.
“Did you see my past? Do you know who I am?” she asked.
“Perhaps.” Dom glanced Roman’s way for no more than a few seconds, but she caught the gist that he didn’t know anything.
She asked, “Are you like Roman? You have some sort of aura or something about you I can’t put my finger on. You’re pretty enough to be non-human, even if you’re dangerous.”
“Pretty?” Humor crinkled the corners of his eyes. “I’m not lycan. I’m mage. I don’t have hundreds of archaic rules of conduct I must live by. I can do whatever the hell I want.” After a short pause, Dom asked softly, “How do you know I’m dangerous?”
She touched the base of her neck, and her eyebrows squished together. “When I look at people, my brain gives me a rundown on the person’s strengths and weaknesses, and catalogs all the best attack points. It warns me that you…it says to be careful.”
“You have combat training.” Dom frowned. “That’s not taught to lycan females. It’s not allowed. In fact, your people barely let their females see daylight. They’re so paranoid you’ll be killed or kidnapped. It means you’re unique in more ways than one. You’re a puzzle.”
“What exactly is a mage? Are you some sort of sorcerer?” She crossed her arms.
“Not sorcery.” Dom waved at a chair for her to sit.
“There is magic, though.” She took a seat in front of him, not breaking eye contact. She had marks like him. Did that mean she had his same kind of magic?
“There is. Do you remember its source?” He leaned forward, kept his gloves on, but took her wrist again.
“I remember nothing.” She massaged her forehead.
“Will you let me help you find out what you remember of magic? We’ll get to your past in a bit.”
She appreciated him finally asking, and nodded.
“Close your eyes, Nova.” She closed them for a moment, but totally peeked. With circular movement of his arms, a ring of light formed between Dom’s hands, which he slowly expanded outward. “Keep your eyes closed. You feel it, don’t you?”
“I feel energy.” With her finger outstretched and eyelids closed tight, she touched the edge of the energy and drew a triangle inside his circle.” Small peek again. Wow. The lines she traced in the air appeared in a different-colored light.
“Tell me, kis druida, of your multja.” Dom’s voice had lowered an octave and came out mesmerizing and soft. The circle of light with the triangle Nova had added rotated to lower over her head and surround her.
Her eyes drifted closed as if induced into a dream. Words came, but she wasn’t sure what they meant. “She was born with the Understanding of our world, Otherworld, and the harmonies of nature. But he didn’t like that. She gave him two children, but his hate forced him to push me beneath the ice.”
What? Someone tried to kill me?
Her eyelids snapped open. Within an instant, the light disappeared.
“What was that? What’s a multja?” Roman asked.
Dom flashed annoyance Roman’s way. “Past life.” He waved a hand over her wrist. A multitude of orange and yellow sigils lit up her skin. Dom sucked in a breath. “Oh.”
“What did that mean?” She watched Dom with rapt attention. “Why is my arm lighting up?”
“It says you practiced magic in this life. If you can remember any of it, you can be powerful. It’s why you have the marks on your neck.” He stared at her forearm while the illuminated marks disappeared. Dom seemed distracted, almost as if surprised.
She grabbed Dom’s gloved hand to draw his attention. “What did all that mean?”
But the mage smiled like one would at a child, patronizing. “You felt it, kis druida. The magic.”
She dropped his hand. Her forehead crinkled. “Yes. It was breathtaking.”
A new smile touched Dom’s lips, something she suspected didn’t happen often. He drew her to stand. “Come. Let us find out your last memory.”
“We do it here,” Roman ordered. “Don’t you dare.”
Dom wove his arms, grabbed her hand. In a blink, she felt herself compressed on all sides and sucked into an energy wave.
“Don’t take her somewhere else,” Roman roared. “Stay.”
“Roman!” she screamed, reaching for him. She watched him in the distance as if looking through a small window.
“Damn it.” Roman slammed his hands down on the desk.
Chapter Six
The air was stale. Not as fresh as she’d expect when standing in the middle of a field. The trees swayed. Yet, her hair didn’t move. “This isn’t real.”
“No. It’s a suspended dimension, one of your choosing.” Dom scanned their surroundings, uncertainty flashing in his gaze. “Does this seem familiar to you?”
“Where’s Roman?” She whirled around.
“Do you have any powers? Something beyond lycan? Something you discovered since you woke up?”
At least her gut had been correct not to trust Dom. He’d gotten her away from Roman to find this out. Whatever else he wanted from her that required Roman’s absence, he wouldn’t get.
“Bring him here.” She crossed her arms. An almost imperceptible vulnerability passed across his face. Or maybe it was recognition. “Do you know me? As in, did you know who I am but didn’t want to say anything in front of Roman?”
“Your powers?” he repeated.
“You do know me.”
“You and I have never met.”
“Is this why you didn’t touch my bare skin?” She cocked her head and watched the emotion in Dom’s gaze. “Does it scare you to know I can see your death if I touch you?” The balance of power shifted. “You are scared of your own death? Interesting.”
As a side note, she wondered why she still hadn’t seen Roman’s death. Maybe the ability didn’t work on lycans. Or, Roman didn’t die?
“Death doesn’t frighten me. I’ll die when it’s time for me to die. It’s not time.” He crossed his arms. “I don’t want someone else knowing how it might happen.”
With a hand outstretched toward him in threat to touch him, she ordered, “Bring Roman here.”
“Not yet. Can you do anything else?”
“Like what?”
“Your marks indicate your magic is fine-tuned. This isn’t Wiccan magic or dark arts. This is elemental magic. My type of power. You shouldn’t be capable of this unless someone in your line was a mage. That’s…” He added on a whisper, “Unheard of.”
“Why? Is there some sort of no-interspecies-baby rule in lycan society?”
“Yes. Plus, they despise magic, especially elemental magic. Distrust it. So you and any magical relatives would’ve been isolated. You would’ve been hidden from others. Mayb
e that’s why you erased your memory—you were hunted and want to forget the magic? Create a blank slate, in essence, to be more normal in lycan society.”
She almost caught his forearm before he yanked it away. “Bring Roman here.”
With wave of Dom’s hand, Roman appeared. His bangs were wet with sweat, and he spun around, blinking.
“What happened?” Roman glanced between them.
“You’re lucky, Nova, that whoever directed you to that particular lycan chose wisely.” Dom crossed his arms and maintained his distance from her.
“Why am I lucky?” She maintained a facade of confidence.
“Honor is branded into that one’s soul, which guarantees he’ll step up to protect you, even if he is not supposed to. Even if he’s not his own person and cursed to serve a human for the rest of his life, he’ll resist if he’s ordered to hurt you. All lycan females are guarded by the males, but that’s not what drives him.” A look passed between the two guys, one she couldn’t interpret.
“What drives you?” she asked Roman.
He averted his gaze and didn’t answer.
“Guess I’m lucky, then.” She stared at the raised marks on Dom’s face, wondering if the ones she could feel but not see on the back of her neck were similar white circles. Had it hurt to get the marks? Perhaps they were drawn on like a tattoo.
Dom said, “Of all lycans, Roman would be one of a slim minority who’d be…” He rocked his head from side-to-side as if searching for the right word. “Uh, shall we say, morally ambiguous when it comes to magic. At least, what the Lycan Council considers moral.”
“Why?”
“I’m not morally ambiguous,” Roman interrupted. “I have faith in God. Hell, I’ve met and worked with one of his angels.” He touched a tree near him, seeming confused about how he could be here when the surroundings didn’t seem to know he was actually here.
“Faith and morality are two entirely different things. Most lycans despise magic and witches, except for the glamour that keeps your identities a secret from humans. Long ago, lycans waged war with witches. Neither won, but neither lost. The lycans’ hate and distrust for magic persists. Except with him.” Dom nodded toward Roman.
“I’m not equivocal on magic. I hunt those who abuse it.”
“Yet, you use it yourself when needed, which is worthy of execution by the Council. They’re narrow-minded male twits who don’t tolerate what they can’t understand or control. Too bad they don’t follow the lead of the oldest of your species even if it’s a she, right Roman?”
Roman scowled at him.
“No one is supposed to know she survived, isn’t that right, Roman? I’ll keep it a secret.”
“Stop reading me,” Roman ordered. “You’ll leave her alone.”
Roman had a girlfriend or partner? You know nothing about him and haven’t known him long enough to feel this disappointed he might not be free. Hell, she was possessive. He could be married for all she knew.
Dom said, “You use magic. Don’t lie. You read runes, right? Tarot cards? The scrying glass? What about the beads of Circe meant for protection that are around your right wrist, the one opposite your curse mark?”
“I face off with creatures who… I use these talismans to stay alive. To ultimately protect humans. The Council looks the other way because of the curse.”
“They look the other way because they need someone competent to deal with the creatures you’re sent to wrangle back under control.” Dom’s startling pale blue gaze met hers again. “Honor, again. Did he tell you what he does? Who he’s bound to serve for all eternity?”
“Not her business,” Roman said. “She has no reason to know.”
“It’ll be her business soon enough.” Dom turned to her, his expression closed, but engrossed in his study of her. His eyelids dropped to half-mast, and he perused her lips. His inspection dropped down her body. “Discovering your last memory has a price.”
“No.” Roman stepped between the two of them. “It’s not worth it, if it has anything to do with you touching her.”
“It’s not your decision.” Dom lips pressed together slightly as his eyebrows drew inward. “It’s hers. I’m not sure I want to try this either, but…” Insecurity verging on fear passed through his gaze. “My gut tells me you have to figure this out, Nova. It’s important not only for you, but for all of us.”
“What are you suggesting be done?” Roman asked.
“The most powerful magic for my kind is attraction…sexual. Me pushing into your mind looks like it’s not going to get us anywhere, given your stubbornness to fight it. If we generate a huge boost of magic, then I might be able to get a single glimpse into your past.”
“How do we do that?” She put her hand on Roman’s forearm and tried to push him out of her way, but he didn’t budge. She peered around him. “You’re not suggesting…”
“Not sex. Hell no.” Dom shook his head. “As attractive as you are, that’s a firm no for me. I’m sorry, but my interests are engaged elsewhere.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Not sure this is going to work. Not sure I can do this. We can try a kiss. For it to succeed and generate the necessary magic, it’s going to have to be real. That’s the tough part. Not a peck of the lips but an earnest, heartfelt, tongue-grinding kiss.” He stepped around Roman to make eye contact with her, and looked pained as he whispered, “The kind that makes you want to fuck and be fucked.”
Roman’s face tightened. His body went rigid. Why did she feel as if it’d be cheating if she kissed Dom? She didn’t have a declared relationship with Roman and didn’t remember anyone else from her pre-amnesia life. Roman might be a hands-down winner for having the full package if in a contest against Dom or Flynn, in her opinion, but Dom was handsome in a dark, devilish kind of way.
“Aren’t you concerned I’m not the only one who will be paying a price?” She wasn’t sure she wanted to know about Dom’s death. Her hand still rested on Roman’s bare skin. Why didn’t she see Roman’s death?
“I’ve decided I’m willing to pay up. Are you?”
“What are you two talking about?” asked Roman.
“Are you on the good guy side or bad?” she asked the mage.
Dom smiled a radiant spread of his mouth that showed white teeth. “Good, bad, gray, white? Nothing is black and white. Lines are drawn by those who need control. Roman aligns himself with demons one day and angels the next. Is he good or bad? Right or wrong?” Dom shrugged. “Who’s the judge? He protects humans from all things magical and not human, but what do the inhumans think of that? They’d think him the enemy much of the time. I don’t think humans deserve his protection. Sure, they’re the weakest of the upper-level species. Perhaps, they’re superior for cursing Roman and his brothers into being their protectors. I do agree it’s important to defend the innocent whether that be human or…” He waved at her. “Non-human. You must rely on your gut and draw your own morality lines.”
“Roman has honor. You…” She walked a circle around Dom, tracing a finger near his shoulder as she did so. A kiss might allow him to see something about her. He tensed under her touch, his body so taut, she suspected he considered fleeing. He feared her knowledge of his death. That was power. More than that, he didn’t want to try this, either. It was written all over his scowl. Somehow, that made her fear him and their attempting this a little less.
Once she returned to his front, she said, “Have you known many women who have powers like me?”
Dom shook his head. “I know no lycans with your capabilities.”
“I’m not sure if I want to try this,” she said.
“Me either. It’s the price of knowledge. There are no other options.”
She pursed her lips and stared at his. Nope. Didn’t want her lips on his. “One kiss and you’ll read my last memory that might be left in my chemically erased mind?”
> “Elemental magic…our magic runs on energy. To find out a purposefully erased memory will require a lot of power.” Dom nodded in Roman’s direction. “Perhaps, if you channel him while kissing me, it’ll work. And I’ll channel…someone else.”
“What? Roman?” Her face flamed hot. “We’re not like that.”
Dom’s eyebrows shot upward, skepticism all over his face.
“I don’t see the price as worth it.” She glared at him. “I’m not convinced you’d even be a passable kisser.”
“I can deliver,” Dom said.
Eww.
Roman grabbed her hand to drag her a few yards away from Dom. Maybe he sensed she was about to pantomime a vomit, which would probably irritate Dom further.
He said low, “This is your best chance of finding out what happened. Let’s find your people.”
“You want me to kiss him?”
“Fuck no. But it might get you answers. I’d be more upset if he didn’t look like he was about to vomit every time he looks at your lips.”
She squinted at him. “You just want me out of your life as fast as possible.”
He drew back. “Jesus, Nova, it’s the only way I know how to help you.” He tugged a hand through his hair. “You’re not safe around me. I’m cursed. I have no choice but to follow orders to fight inhuman evils on a weekly basis. It’s a bloody miracle I’m not dead yet. You can’t be near those creatures. If my handler gets wind of you, he’d… Maybe you were sent to me so I could get you to Dom?”
She nibbled on her lip. “I don’t know if I can drum up enough interest in him to get through this without gagging. Might be a mutual gag fest.” She peeked around Roman and shuddered. Her stomach twisted and hurt. “Nope. Can’t do it. Suggestions?”
Roman cupped her chin to force eye contact. “Why would he suggest you channel me?”
Because I WANT to kiss you.
Hot, cold. On, off. She couldn’t get a handle on what Roman thought of her. One minute he was protective and staring as if he wanted to rip her clothes off. The next he was grumpy and cold-shouldering her.