by Zoe Forward
“What stopped you from killing her the second you got the official order then and every hour since? The curse has to be damaging you for delaying. You must be in a world of hurt, and for what?”
He gripped the railing tight. “When I first met her, when she found me at that club, I was shocked, but up-close with her in front of me…” He released the rail to wipe a hand down his face. “She seemed genuine. I’ve never wanted to protect something more in my life.” He lowered his voice to a raspy whisper. “She stole my ability to think.”
“Did she do some sort of magic to enthrall you?”
With a headshake, he raised his gaze to hers. “Not traditional magic. I wear four protective talismans at all times to ward off all manner of magic.” But her magic had worked to stop the curse despite the talismans. That scared the hell out of him, but in his gut, he suspected she knew as much about her magic as he did, which amounted to nothing. “Maybe it’s some sort of intra-species thing. Something about her drives me to safeguard her in a way I’ve never experienced. I’ve really never been around another lycan female other than you, but I assume my need to keep her safe is some sort of species preservation thing.”
She huffed out a frustrated snort. “Do you see Flynn falling all over himself to be with her? Or protect her?”
“He likes her, too. He’d protect her.”
“There’s a lot to like about her. But Flynn wouldn’t die for her, not like you would. He’s also not burning from the inside out to be naked with her with the full moon on the rise tonight. The serum works for him. It usually works for you.” Her voice gentled. “Flynn realizes she doesn’t want him. He knows she’s not his to have. With the one person with whom you share this kind of chemistry, it doesn’t matter what suppression serum you take. Nature will win in the end.”
“She doesn’t have her people. It’s not right to…” He blew out a shaky breath and looked at the sky again. “I can’t want her. I can’t take liberties. It’s too complicated, and it’s wrong, curse aside.”
“I have no clue where you became such a stickler for rules, especially when I know you think the Lycan Council are a bunch of dimwitted nitwads. It sure as hell didn’t come from me or your father.” She drew him into a hug. “Roman, you are her people now. We are her people. As one of her people, I say it’s okay to want her so long as you respect her needs. There’s nothing about your curse that says you can’t have a slice of happiness when it falls into your path.”
His mother’s soft smile communicated she’d accepted Nova as one of them. Sure, she might try to involve Nova in a scheme or two in the future, which he’d never allow. Hell, if his mother angled to have Nova involved, he’d likely find out about it afterward.
She opened her mouth to speak but paused as if to collect her thoughts before continuing. “Take happiness where you can, but realistically, you can’t make her your life partner. That’s going to hurt. You’re good at spouting bullshit about walking life alone, but we are genetically programmed to want a soulmate at our side. Deep down, you want her to be that person for you, but you have to be smart about this. Any long-term attachment so long as you’re bound to the Crown is stupid. If she became your mate, every evil asshole you go after will use her as leverage. It’ll double your workload and stress level, despite her ability to handle herself.”
He swallowed hard. Tightness settled in his stomach. “I’m not giving in to some sort of hormonal madness. I’m sure as hell not considering any sort of long-term.”
“Why is that? Hmm? It isn’t the curse making you say that.” She compressed her lips against a smile.
Her words drew him back. Maybe it wasn’t threats against her that worried him. Maybe it was him. He was afraid of the risk. Of having her and losing her. Life was full of losses. That he knew firsthand.
“Good luck being rational tonight,” his mother shot over her shoulder as she walked off.
Chapter Seventeen
Nova entered the cabin Evie said she’d been assigned, her body still tingling from the excitement of target practice. Seems they were to stay on the yacht overnight and get dropped back in Milan in the morning.
Roman sat on the far side of the sprawling king-size bed that dominated the room, head bowed with his back to her and feet on the floor. The mahogany wood paneled walls were adorned with gold furnishings. The bed had several huge gold throw pillows and quilted covers that advertised silky comfort. She glanced upward at the skylight that showed stars high in the sky and the luminous full moon. Something about the moon sent a shiver of longing through her. She craved…what?
Her focus settled on Roman. Him.
Get out of here.
“I must have the wrong room.” She turned to exit.
“No. This is the right one. There are only so many sleeping quarters on the boat. We were put in here on purpose. She wants us to give in to the moon’s lure.”
She turned back toward him, geared up for a fight, but noticed he avoided eye contact. He flexed his fingers a few times and then rubbed the back of his neck.
“Are you okay, Roman?”
He dragged his hand through his hair. “I’m going. Don’t know why I’m still in here. I’ll sleep on a sofa or something somewhere else. Anywhere not in here.”
As he got close, he arched his body to avoid touching her while he scooted around her to the door.
“Beyond your mother playing matchmaker, what’s wrong?” She caught his arm.
He froze, blinking at where her hand was on him.
Her chest tightened. Breaths came in short pants. Her stomach fluttered, and she flashed hot everywhere.
“Let me go,” he said low and gravely. “I can’t… Tonight’s moon…” His turn to stare at the moon through the skylight. “I’m so on edge, I can barely handle anything. You have to feel its pull. We can’t be close tonight. It’s dangerous.” His eyes met hers for the first time since she entered. The sheer intensity of desire in their depths sent a shiver of pleasure straight to her core. “I take suppression serum, which has helped stop the moon madness in the past, but it’s not working.” His eyelids fell to half-mast and his breathing harshened. “I can’t protect you from me tonight. I’m trying to do what’s right. Let me leave.”
“Okay, leave.” She released his arm and turned away.
He didn’t move.
Hoarsely, she whispered, “Go. If that’s what you want.”
He dropped his head. Barely audible, he said, “It’s not what I want. It’s what’s right.”
“For who? The people who order you around? Some lycan society you don’t owe allegiance? Or are you afraid you’ll find something here you can’t handle?”
“The curse is eating me from the inside to follow orders. I don’t want to hurt you.” His face lost all color as he doubled over and gasped as if struggling to breathe. He wheezed and massaged his chest. He muttered, “I won’t, not tonight. Go to hell.”
Somehow, he pulled further into himself and trembled.
On instinct, she wrapped her fingers around his tattooed wrist and said, “Ease the punishment for tonight so this warrior may feel love’s light.”
She repeated it twice more while rubbing along the tattoo. Her head whirled with vertigo from the energy depletion, but she was more than willing to donate to give him a break from the pain.
He whooshed out a long exhale. He took a few deep breaths. “The burn is gone. Thank you.” He tipped his head back for a moment and closed his eyes. “That’s the third or fourth time—”
“Now you can make the decision if you stay or go not based on here.” She touched the curse tattoo. “But with what’s in here.” Nova patted his chest.
“I can’t handle it if something happens to you,” he whispered.
“Then be sure when it does that you have no regrets over this. That you walk out of here with a clear conscience t
hat us denying ourselves this one night is the right thing. I respect your choice.”
He leaned in over her. So close he almost touched her. “This is more complicated than the curse and my orders.”
Yet, his thumb ran over her lips, and he lowered his forehead to hers. On a ragged breath he said, “If I leave, I’ll have regrets.”
“I want this.” She wanted him at least once, especially since she’d been forced on the express train to certain death. “Do you want me?”
“More than anyone I’ve ever wanted in my entire life.”
Her heart thumped so loud, she couldn’t hear anything else. When her brain finally cleared of the fog to make sense of his answer, she said, “Kiss me.”
He tilted her head upward to align her mouth with his, and paused, took a deep breath as if soaking up the moment before he touched his lips to hers. It was a light kiss that rapidly progressed into something that melted her. Her hands tangled with the short strands of his hair as she tried to dig in deeper and glue her body to his. Just when she felt she couldn’t get any closer, Roman pulled away to take a deep breath.
His eyes were heavy. “Are you sure you want this? I can still leave. Maybe I should go.”
“I have a feeling you made your decision by being here when I arrived.”
He stared at her lips for endless moments.
Stay. Please.
Still he stared.
I’m dying.
One of his hands slid to the back of her neck and tangled in her hair to hold her in place, but his lips paused before they touched hers. “Tonight. You and I can’t have more. Only tonight.”
He brought his lips to hers and turned his head to take the kiss deeper. Shockwaves radiated through her limbs, making her feel as if she were floating. She gripped him tight, terrified she’d fall down if she let go of him.
His mouth kissed a path down her neck. He slid the strap of the gown out of the path of his mouth and bit her shoulder, not hard enough to damage skin but enough to leave tooth impressions and maybe bruise. The pain activated something deep that came upward from her gut and emerged as a growl.
“That’s it, Nova, show me the full you. I need you feral.”
Everything came into finer focus around her—the noises around them, her sense of smell and her eyesight. The scent of him—his deodorant mixed with the unique aroma of him—made her lightheaded.
He caught her face between both hands. With a finger, he traced her cheekbones, nose, and lips. “You’re exquisite. More beautiful than anything I’ve ever seen. But remember, no promises. No tomorrow.”
She smoothed hair off his forehead. “I’ll be lucky if I live through tomorrow. We don’t know anything about me or who I might be attached to. I can’t…” Her fingers roamed the planes of his face, memorizing each contour. “There can’t be anyone else in my life. If there is, it’s not like this. All I want is you.”
“I’d give you everything if I could, but I can’t. I have no control of my own life.” He rested his nose against hers.
“Have you ever thought that’s why I was thrust into your life? To enable you a few moments of escape?”
“There is no way out. I’ve gone to every corner of the planet to find one. I’ve consulted with all types of magical entities. I even asked one of God’s angels to help, which was pointless. The only way out is death or if the monarch releases me from duty, which will never happen. We’re too powerful a weapon for them to let us go.”
She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight. “I’m glad you have your brothers in this and your mother. So glad you’re not alone in the nightmare. How did you end up this way?”
“We were tricked by a witch. My father died trying to find a way to free us. I’m…we’re…” His voice cracked. “I’m the reason he’s dead.”
She cupped his face. “You’d do the same if your sons were trapped. He loved you that much. He made a choice that was his, not yours.”
“It almost killed mom when he didn’t come back. They weren’t perfect together. Far from it. There were some epic fights over the years. But they did love each other.”
“I’m glad what this curse forces you to do didn’t kill you, too.”
“I seem to excel at winning and healing. Walking into death of my own making I won’t do. If I die from this, it’ll be the curse that kills me, but I’ll fight the fucker to the end.”
She touched over his chest, tracing the ridges and valleys of his muscles. “Kiss me. I know we haven’t known each other very long, but I want to do this. Do you?”
His lips touched hers briefly. “Yes.”
She dug her fingers into his arms when he returned to her mouth. His tongue tested along the seam of her lips, soft and suggestive. He drew her closer so no space separated them. A gasp escaped her, which he took advantage of to tease his tongue against hers.
Before she could blink, her dress was unzipped, and both of them wore only underwear. She wanted to glance down to see everything of him, but it was next to impossible when his tongue thrust into her mouth and he claimed her, lifting her in one smooth motion and carrying her to the bed. She tried to keep up, but it was hard when she fought to stay coherent with every ramped-up sensation hitting her each time he touched her. She gave up trying to control and compartmentalize. Instead, she lost herself in the command and strength of his body. Each movement of his mouth, his hands, and his body as it touched hers shot fireworks through her so intense, she thought she’d pass out.
“Are you trembling for me?” he whispered when he finally released her mouth.
She nodded.
“I’m going to lift my aura and go full feral. Don’t be scared. I swear, tonight I won’t hurt you.”
She raised up on her knees, balancing on one hand to hook her opposite hand around his neck and pull him in to her lips. “Show me the real you. The one I had a glimpse of at the airport hangar.”
Everything about him became stronger, more angular, and dangerous. His canines seemed larger. She traced them with a finger. Pressure began to build inside her that demanded immediate relief, but from the way he stared at her, he wasn’t going to give it to her right away.
“Roman,” she said as he kissed down her neck to her collarbone. He paused, and she watched his eyes drop to her breasts and her nipples that were so hard. He lowered his head, barely grazing one nipple with the tip of his tongue. The sensation was too much. Her hips shot up toward his as a hiss escaped her.
“Do you think you’ve done this before?” he asked.
“I don’t know. Nothing seems familiar, but maybe it’s because you’re…we’re both lycan? It seems like I know what’s going to happen and what to do, and yet I don’t.”
“I’ll go slow. But if you’ve never done this, it might hurt. I don’t want that for you.”
“No stopping.”
“All right.” He swirled a tongue around her nipple and touched one of his sharp teeth to the point. The slight strike ricocheted like an electric surge inside her veins and streaked all over her body, sending shockwaves deep into her bones and every muscle.
“Oh, wow,” she said when he took her nipple deep into his mouth, his sharp teeth scraping the sensitive nub. “I can feel it all the way to my toes. Is it always like this between our kind?”
“Being with another lycan… This is a first for me, too. I don’t know.” He swiveled his hips, bringing him in line with her core.
His penis felt huge, but she couldn’t see. She wanted to.
“Ahh…” She wanted to touch him everywhere, but he commanded her, somehow keeping her still without forcing her while the orgasm built between her legs. Tears blurred her view when he rolled against her pelvis to pelvis once more.
Pulling up, he stared down where their bodies touched, separated by microns of fabric. She was granted a view of his defined a
bs and the planes of muscles everywhere. She could see the sweat on his skin and the flush on his face. The bulge of him rubbed against her, and it was too much.
“I’m going to come,” she said.
“I want to hear it.”
He moved faster between her legs. His hips flew so fast, rubbing against her to the point her core numbed. Sensation coiled in her spine, pressure building. Her vision blurred. She gripped his forearms and bit her lower lip. Everything spiked, shooting her chest high, and her legs tightened around Roman’s hips.
“Yes. Oh, God. Yes,” she screamed.
He grunted something incoherent as he buried his head in the tangle of her hair and shoulder and came. His hips that had been pumping stilled as a guttural groan escaped him.
“Fuck,” he drawled out, breathing heavy.
His back felt sweaty and so hot. When he lifted away from her body, there was pleasure on his face, but also strain.
He said, “That’s a first for me. I’ve never…not without being inside a woman.”
“I’d say it was first for me, but then again, everything about this is new.”
He rubbed his thumb over her lips. “There’s more. A lot more.”
Chapter Eighteen
She dragged his mouth to hers, marveling at how gentle he could be when she could feel his body vibrating with need. With a push, she got him on his back. Muscles rippled as he shifted around. Tattoos wrapped his chest and upper arms, all symbols and no pictures. Tracing the images, she wondered what they meant.
“You like what you see?” he asked.
“I wouldn’t be in bed with you if I didn’t.”
He chuckled.
The noise was like a breath of fresh air. So unlike him. So beautiful.
She couldn’t help but smile in return. “Why are we talking?”
She straddled his hips, cradling his bulge between her legs.
Laughter. True laughter erupted from him. His hand glided along her waist up her rib cage until he pulled her closer for a kiss. His hand slipped under the string of her thong to pull it out of the way so he could rub the long hard ridge of him against her bare skin.