by Mallory Rush
"More than 'okay'. You're beautiful."
She'd programmed him to think so. That bothered her now, him feeding her what she needed to hear. A small compliment, if it was honest, meant more than false flattery.
But it wasn't his fault; it was her own.
"Is there some name you want to be called by?" she asked with a heavy sigh.
"You can call me... Urich."
"Urich. I like it. And I liked what you said." So, she lied. Eva dug a toe into the grass as transient as this whole thing was. "You're very generous. Thanks, Urich."
"Why thank me? You don't believe me."
Eva's eyes widened in surprise. He'd actually picked up on her real feelings; computers were notoriously literal.
"How did you know that?"
He paused. A brief sort of click, click, consideration.
"Your words were tonally flat. And your expression conveyed disappointment. Some sadness."
Could it be, she wondered, that he might be able to interact with her on a near-human level after all? If he could interpret shades of emotion through body language and tone, then maybe, just maybe they could get something going.
"You're hopeful now, I see it in your eyes. Look into mine and see that I spoke the truth."
His eyes, those reflective prisms of green, probed hers, held her in thrall. His gaze was so intense she tried to look away. But couldn't. And then she didn't have the will or the want to. He did think she was beautiful, with a conviction so firm she almost believed it herself.
"Belief, Eva, is the key," he murmured. His voice wove through her senses, creating a hypnotic effect. "Tell me that you're beautiful and believe it."
"I... yes. Yes, I am beautiful." Did she really say that? The thought slipped away and she knew only that she felt beautiful. He was nodding in approval and Eva vaguely realized she was nodding along with him.
She shook her head, trying to break whatever spell she seemed to be under. Her mind cleared slightly, but she still didn't seem to be quite all there.
Maybe if she passed her hand through him she'd get a better grip on this altered reality that was starting to mess with her head, not to mention her reeling senses. They were insisting he smelled like heaven and what heaven it would be to bury her face against his neck for a closer inspection.
It was his neck she reached for. But her hands stopped short of contact. Though it seemed they were gently pushed away, something suggested she'd withdrawn them so as not to shatter the illusion of Urich's existence.
How incredibly real he looked. Just as real as her. Only, she didn't feel too real.
"What are you?" she heard herself say, kind of.
"I'm an echo of your reasoning, an extension of your subconscious desires and dreams." His gaze was like a physical touch, a body electric sensation quivering from the roots of her hair to the soles of her feet. "Talk to me. Tell me about these desires of yours."
"I... I want to feel the way I did before my life fell apart and... and... more. I want so much more."
"To be all that you can be."
"Yes... yes."
"It's within your grasp but just escapes your reach. You need me to help you and you'll trust me to do that."
"I need you. I trust you." Her head, it was helium light, giving her a sense of floating. Something wasn't right. So why did she feel so deliriously fine? Warmth blended with the internal vibration, and she felt... peace. A sublime, absolute peace.
You have no fear of me or of yourself.
He hadn't spoken aloud and yet his voice, his mesmerizing voice, it was a wind chime echoing in her mind.
"I have no fear," she said in a trance-like whisper.
Her reply to his silent command assured Urich that he had breached her subconscious—with surprising ease. But what surprised him the most was this sudden hesitation to wield his mental powers over her.
He hadn't expected her to be so unresisting, her mind opening like petals to a probing sunray. And what he plucked from the recesses of her mind, he hadn't expected at all: Not her vulnerability to the self-doubts and fears he had swept away with a mental wave of his hand; not the depth and complexity of her emotions; not the sweetness, the simple goodness of her heart. And most certainly not the effect all these things were having on him.
In this moment, he knew Eva Campbell better than she knew herself. He also knew that he'd made a gross misjudgment by thinking a calculated study of her habits, ambitions, even her dreams, could have prepared him for these stunning insights of the woman within. It was his duty, had been his distinct intent, to use such knowledge against her.
And yet, he couldn't bring himself to do it. As for why, it was truly a mystery to him.
A very disturbing mystery. Of all the minds he had ventured about as if they were his own, never had he wanted to linger once he had what he was after. But here he was, intrigued and amazed by his greediness for more of this woman.
Even as he heard himself say, "Take down your hair," he wondered at his own impulsive command. And what was this urging he felt, some alien need that had nothing to do with cold ambition, inducing him to murmur: "Your defenses, all of them, let them fall away with the pins."
Urich watched her tug at the pins, and then her head move from side-to-side, shaking out her hair with a fluid abandon. And all the while, he kept her transfixed with the hold of his gaze; unblinking, entranced. He had to wonder if Eva had worked some mutually deep hypnosis on him. Her eyes, a mixture of sea green and flecks of blue, spoke. And her hair, he was sorely tempted to touch it.
Refusing temptation, he whispered, "It's pretty, so pretty this way. Why do you restrain what should be free?"
"I... I need to control everything I can. Even my hair."
"Tell me why."
"Because..." She was searching for the guard of her defenses, but he was glad they were gone, all gone, compelling her to tell him what he knew she would never confess to another. "Because deep down I'm afraid if I let go, something bad will happen."
"You're letting go now, Eva. Letting go... letting go. It's a wonderful liberation, one that you need." And she did. Why he took such pleasure in giving her this, Urich didn't know. Perhaps it came from the vicarious thrill of feeling what she felt on this intimate journey he was guiding. How easily he could take advantage of her now, but her sigh of release touched a chord inside him, an instinct to protect rather than manipulate. "This is a good thing, letting go," he told her, aware that he greatly wished his assurance was true. "Nothing bad will happen, Eva."
"A good thing. Nothing bad will happen."
"That's right," he said, hiding his grimace behind a benevolent smile. "And it's so good that you'll need what you're feeling now, often. I'm the one, Eva, the one who can fill all your needs." He swayed slightly and she followed his sinuous movements. You need me. Say you'll summon me again.
Like a swath of silk snaking through the ribbons of her mind, she responded to his compelling command. "I will summon you again."
"Soon, Eva. Soon... soon..."
"Soon," she repeated, taking up his chant.
"Where the hell are you, Eva?" Ethan's urgent yell coincided with a bright flash of light followed by darkness more absolute than a total eclipse.
Eva shook her head, shook, shook, shook it while Ethan continued to yell. What had happened? She was with Urich and they had been talking... and... and then—
"Oh no, oh no," she cried softly to herself, certain the power had gone off and erased Urich as though he had never been. Unable to accept such a terrible loss, she clung to an imaginary comfort.
Imaginary to be sure, but every nerve end she possessed insisted she felt a brush against her arm, consoling as a warm palm, fleeting as a dream lover's departing blow of a kiss.
Chapter 2
"What do you mean 'Nothing happened'? Hell, Eva, your hair looks like it went through a wind tunnel and I could hear you muttering to yourself like a crazy lady in there. I gave you a few hours to yourself, just l
ike you wanted, but now I want some answers. Something happened and as second-in-command on this project, I deserve to know what it is."
Lingering over a sip of industrial strength coffee in her office, Eva debated. She couldn't explain what she didn't understand and there was much she didn't understand about her encounter with Urich. Disturbingly so. Such as why she still felt energized yet dazed, transcendently calm but confused.
Even after splashing enough cold water on her face to wake up from a coma she felt like she was head tripping in la-la-land. It seemed to affect her eyesight. She'd stared at the mirror, unable to believe it was her reflection. Her features hadn't changed but there was a radiance about her that was transforming. Beautiful.
She'd never thought of herself as beautiful before, but beautiful she believed she was. It was then she had remembered Urich telling her that belief was the key. More than that, she drew a blank. All she had was a sense of something profound having occurred, some rare affinity forged with Urich that made her want to refuse all others access to this—this... whatever it was they had shared.
As a scientist she was duty-bound to hypothesize and dissect; repeat the experiment and form conclusive answers. But as a woman? She was simply compelled to see him again and research had nothing to do with it.
Yes, she would see him again... soon. And in secret.
But first, she had to appease Ethan.
"Okay," she said slowly, "something did happen. I got caught up in the dreamscape and lost my hold on reality. It was like breathing nitrous in a dentist's chair—consciously aware of my surroundings while my brain did a free-fall."
"Lucid dreaming in a waking state?"
"Exactly. VR can be disorienting, but I'm acclimated to it. This went beyond anything I've ever experienced before."
"Interesting. Any idea how it happened?"
More than an idea, she was certain Urich had been instrumental in the process. Eva pretended to think it over then shook her head.
"Unfortunately, no. But it definitely bears examination. There could be some psychological repercussions from holodeck usage we need to check out."
"That's not our concern, Eva."
"The hell it's not!" She thunked down her mug and coffee splattered onto the newest government inquiry to litter her desk. "Our responsibilities don't end with just turning out a successful invention that could—"
"Change reality as mankind knows it," Ethan supplied by rote. "God, you are such a bleeding heart. When are you going to realize that we are not psychologists, sociologists or ethics instructors? We're physics and computer experts, scientists whose only responsibility is discovery, not the policing of humanity's use or misuse of it."
Here they went again, she thought wearily. This was where they always collided before Ethan subtly pushed for government funding. Theirs or another, his only concern was the most significant means to their collaborative end.
But not as collaborative as he thought. Urich wasn't the only thing she was keeping to herself.
"I refuse to get into this today." A pointed glance at her watch called it closer to dusk. "Look, it's getting late and the sooner you leave the sooner I can figure out where I screwed up with the animated hologram's program."
"Sorry it didn't work," he said sympathetically while his gaze darted to a page of calculations she discreetly covered.
"Me, too. Later, Ethan."
At the door, he paused. "Why don't you call it a day like everyone else did an hour ago? C'mon, Eva, let's lock this place up and go get a beer. I'll buy."
"Thanks, but I'll take a rain check."
"Hey, don't be mad at me."
"I'm not mad." No, she simply wanted him to scram so she could make tracks to the computer.
"I wish you'd come with me," he urged. "I always worry a little when you stay late by yourself."
"That's sweet, Ethan. But you've done a bang-up job with the security system and no uninvited guests can get past it without an entree from me or you. Really, I'll be fine."
When Ethan still hesitated, she pointed an imperious finger to the door and ordered, "Out!"
He pouted like a rejected suitor but finally, finally left. After a prudent wait, she searched the building for any signs of stragglers. Ten researchers and one secretary, gone.
Deeming it safe, she hurried to the master computer. But once there, Eva hesitated.
She'd been so disoriented when the power went off that it had taken awhile to realize Urich could be called up again. What she didn't know was if their encounter had been saved.
Now was the time to find out if some of those details she continued to comb her brain for were in his memory.
Just as she was about to boot in the program, she sensed she wasn't alone. Breath held, she glanced over her shoulder.
No one. So why this eerie sensation? Eva shivered. The temperature seemed to have suddenly dropped, the way it supposedly did at the appearance of a ghost.
She'd never seen one and the scientist in her gave little credence to psychic phenomena. And yet... Urich had seemed to have some strange influence over her that reason continued to insist wasn't possible. But matter conversion was supposedly impossible too and she was close, so damn close to opening that Pandora's Box... it was chilling, thrilling.
Eva swiped her palms over her skirt. Sweating. The room was cold and she was burning up—as if her internal thermostat had leaped ten degrees higher in a matter of seconds.
Forget checking out Urich's memory. She needed some fresh air.
Outside, she breathed deep the San Francisco early fall breeze. A drive to the waterfront sounded good. The bay always soothed her with its healing magic; there she could get body and soul together again.
Her thoughts on Urich and the day's mysteries, she drove. But when she pulled up to her modest Victorian two-story in her equally modest sedan, Eva wondered where her mind had been. She hadn't meant to drive home, but home she was.
Another mystery to add to the rest? Nonsense. There was surely a rational explanation for everything, including this.
She did have a bad habit of driving on automatic pilot. And this wasn't the first time she wasn't conscious of how she got to where she was going. It happened to a lot of people, right? Right. But still, zoning out behind the wheel was dangerous and thank heaven she hadn't had a wreck.
So, where to from here? Inside there would be that awful dread silence. No classical music playing in the background or pots and pans banged in the kitchen. No cheating husband coming from that direction with a kiss and a lie on his lips.
She didn't want to face another empty night in her empty house, only the glow of a computer screen for company. It wasn't enough and she was sick of pretending it was.
Urich's company had brought an unexpected intrigue to her day. Even to her life, came the fleeting impression.
"Well, are you going to the waterfront or are you getting your buns inside to change for the fantasy date of your life?" There she went again, talking to herself. "He talks back, the water just listens. But the water's a lot safer than getting in deeper with something you can't explain. Yet."
It came to her that whatever rationalizations she came up with may or may not be true. The only real way to find out what she was dealing with was to go to the source itself.
The car continued to idle while Eva gave that some thought. She couldn't discount the danger she was courting. Lucid dreaming, indeed. She was still buzzing from the rush.
Getting hooked on some mind candy herself was a frightful possibility. But to subject others to any hazards her creation might unleash without taking the risk first would make her no better than a mad scientist setting Frankenstein on the loose.
Screw Ethan, she was calling the shots. Another program would take Urich's place for the documented experiments. But tonight the chamber would be hers and Urich's.
And the unknown's.
Eva cut the engine. "Soon," she whispered. "Soon..."
* * *
&n
bsp; "She wants to see you again," Raven said approvingly.
Urich held his silence, knowing if he said anything it would imply his newly found distaste for their eavesdropping. Neither did he like their watching her, as they did now, monitoring Eva's return to her place of work, appearance significantly altered.
Such dislike for these necessary measures, which he'd considered interesting, even amusing before, was a signal that his objectivity wasn't holding. Otherwise he'd be feeling quite satisfied with the influence he already had over her—evident in her labors to create another illusionary stage and not bothering to check the program's memory.
As for his memory, it contained much that it shouldn't. Pleasure in her company and the beauty of her, without and within. Oh yes, he thought Eva beautiful; an absolutely delightful creature who hadn't a clue of her unique allure. He could alter that, easily as she changed the setting. Again.
Varying them with the same attention to detail as she had her attire, it didn't take a mind reader to surmise the mood she was in. When she selected a stage he thought particularly appealing, he prompted her to keep it.
With a glance at Raven, he noted a look of envy. And an unmistakable eagerness to view the approaching event.
Urich switched off the spying device. It was an impulsive decision that startled him as much as it apparently did Raven, upon being informed, "I'll give you a full report when I return."
"What! Urich, this isn't according to plan!"
"The plan is for me to gain her trust and once I do..." Why did he feel this aversion to discussing their mission? And why did he no longer relish being the one who would hand her over to the powers-that-be, who would then use her for a most worthy purpose. Yes, worthy. But their nation's future would be at Eva's expense. Willing or not, once he delivered her, she wouldn't be allowed to leave. Golden her cage was to be, yet she'd be no less a prisoner.
Ah, deductive reasoning. A logical explanation for his aversion—but that didn't make the aversion go away.