I couldn't tear my eyes off his amazing body. His hip bones stole my breath until I saw the bulge of his cock snake down his leg. My pulse rang in my ears like a downpour on a tin roof.
Having him come home to me. I couldn’t even remember how many times I masturbated, wondering what this moment would've been like. That's why I didn't stop him when he hooked his rough fingers into the bottom hem of my shirt. With an easy tug, he ripped my shirt up over my head.
Was this really happening? Ten years later, and I was actually going to have sex with Kade again. It’d been a decade since I felt his touch. A decade was a lifetime. We were both so different now. Would it feel like slipping on my favorite sweater or like wearing something fresh and all new right off the rack.
This was crazy!
My whole body cried out for his touch as if to answer my question. Yes. This was happening. I was terrified and anxious, but so excited I could barely contain myself.
“Nah. I’m here.” Kade chuckled, shaking his head slightly. His dark eyes seemed to shine in amazed disbelief. “I never thought I’d actually be glad to be back home.” In a flash of motion, Kade was on his knees and my jeans were hanging around my ankles. “Fuck. You look incredible.”
A shiver of lusty excitement ran through my body as I looked down at him. Kade stared up at me as if he were worshiping a goddess. All my fantasies paled in comparisons.
“It’s a little chilly in here,” I said, trying to keep the tremor from my voice.
“Not for long,” Kade growled defiantly, running his hands up my thighs. His deep, mischievous voice and searching fingertips instantly made me wet, and we’d barely started.
“Oh! I squeaked when Kade shot up, grabbed my waist, and hoisted me high up into the air. I giggled at the sudden explosive energy and at my own fear of heights. Knowing that he was the one who had me made me feel safe enough to actually enjoy myself though.
“Feels good to lose control sometimes, doesn’t it?” Kade whispered directly into my stomach. His several days of beard stubble prickled my naked, sensitive skin. I felt his intentions vibrate through my core. He set me down on the freezing metal table.
“Cold!” I protested, climbing back up him like an agitated cat.
“Sorry,” he laughed, easily hefting me up. I felt his biceps tense as he took all my weight in one arm and with the other he laid out his shirt for me to sit on. “I wasn’t thinking with the right head. Better?”
“Much. Where were we?” I asked, embracing the sexiness of fooling around in a place that was so extremely off limits growing up.
“I was about to go down on you.” Each silky word that rolled off his tongue melted me a little more.
“Oh!” I stuttered through his forwardness. My pillow talk game was beyond rusty, bordering on non-existent territory. I almost felt the need to tell him that it wasn’t my fault because I never had any practice, but decided that I didn’t need to explain myself.
Just enjoy the ride, Genny. You might never get this with him ever again.
“Don’t worry, I’ll play nice.” Kade grunted in at my obvious insecurities. “At least until I have you screaming my name.”
Not likely, at least not too loudly. As sexy as that thought was I immediately thought about waking Emma in the other room. I glanced over at the baby monitor on the other table just to make sure it hadn’t fallen or anything.
A jolt ran through me when I felt his lips. I sucked in a massive breath, then forced myself to relax and let my head lull back. I fought the anxious jumble of doubts and fears that seemed to peak when he peeled back the sopping wet cotton of my panties and exposed me fully to the cool air in the room.
It’d been a long time since I fooled around with anyone and couldn’t help but feel a little self-conscious.
“You are so damn beautiful, do you know that?” I didn’t know if he could sense that fear, but he pulled back just to admire me. The sincerity in his voice both simultaneously shook me and calmed all my frayed nerves.
This wasn’t some stranger, this was Kade Houston. I used to trust him more than anyone. What if I let myself trust him now, just for tonight?
I bit back an acknowledging smile, but didn’t say anything.
He scanned my face to make sure I was still alright then dove in gently. My naked pussy spasmed when his steaming hot tongue laid across it. My eyes turned to saucers.
“Well then! OK,” I laughed, tightened up, and generally came off like a massive nerd.
“If it gets too intense, just tell me to stop.” Every one of his words vibrated against my delicate folds, threatening to break me apart. “Just say the word.”
“Stop...” I repeated unconsciously. I was too focused on the waves of pleasure his tongue and lips sent through my clit to understand what I was saying. When he stopped and looked up at me with a puzzled expression, the rush of awareness caught up with me. “I mean, don't stop!”
Kade smiled at how much of an effect he had on me. He could always do that to me. Even when we were kids, Kade always got under my skin. He always knew me crazy well. He was the only person who’d ever “got” me. That was another reason it hurt so bad when he had left. If I was a puzzle, he was all my corner pieces.
That’s why it was so painful when he disappeared on me. It felt like I was losing a part of myself.
But now that he was back, all the intensity was boiled down into a white-hot passion. What he was doing to my pussy was nearly criminal. His tongue pushed back my petals, teasingly slipping in and out of my slit. I could feel his desire; he loved to make my hips buck.
“I'm going to savor every last delicious drop of you, Genny.” Kade made my clit vibrate with pleasure until it quickly became too much. “Every time you close those pretty green eyes of yours, you’re going to remember every inch, flick, and lick of my tongue.”
My pussy began to tremble, but he didn't stop. His words ripped through me.
“God.” I slapped my hand down on the metal table, fighting the inevitable climax as long as I could. My stomach lurched forward in ecstasy. My fingers dragged through his short-cropped hair. It was trimmed to military regulation-too short to grasp anything. I might as well have been floating.
He made me feel like my body was adrift in stardust.
“Kade!” his name erupted from the bottom of my lungs, as gentle waves of pleasure pushed me up to the cliff of orgasm. The sensation gripped me, tightening all my muscles and lifting my butt off the metal table. I might’ve floated away if his hands weren’t clamped roughly over my thighs.
Kade smiled, squeezing tighter and pulling me down even harder, never relenting with his wicked tongue.
Was he trying to kill me?
“I’m so close,” panting, I wiped away the sweat that rolled off my ribs. I was a wobbly, moaning mess by the time my legs started shaking. “Don’t stop.”
“If you like this, you’d better get ready for the main attraction.” He cooed, popping the top button of his jeans. The sound of the dull fabric release was heavy and dripping with promises.
And, almost as if on cue, the baby monitor went off with the sound of a very awake, very upset Emma.
“No… no.” I growled through gritted teeth, glancing irritatedly at the monitor. Now, Emma? Really? Why do you hate me? “Well, that’s unfair.”
A maternal instinct kicked in, and I immediately knew that - for now - the fun and games were over.
“All of parenting is unfair.” Kade let out a forlorn snort and rolled his head back in frustration. “I got this.”
Kade leaned back in and kissed my sensitive clit once more before pulling away completely. The abrupt and tender act sent another shiver rattling through my core.
“Bastard.” I sharply slid away from Kade, then collapsed backward in the table. The cool metal felt amazing against my fire-licked skin. The satiation of a year’s worth of longing was heartbreakingly out of reach. I’d never been that wet or turned on before. “Raincheck?”
&nb
sp; Watching him saunter off, shirtless, licking his fingers only stoked the raging fire inside me, frustrating me even more. I took a deep breath, and promised myself that I’d sneak off into the bathroom later and get myself off.
Kade stopped and looked me over, hunger saturated his dark eyes. The sight of me laid out, naked just for him made him growl. “You bet that cute ass of yours.”
9
Kade
I barely slept that night, but I did manage to get at least a few hours of shut-eye. What with my worry about Emma, the cramped futon I was sleeping on, and the giant boner I was sporting, I wasn’t exactly sleeping like a log.
Still, when I woke up I felt surprisingly refreshed and alive. I glanced at my watch--six a.m.
Shit, by my normal standards, six a.m. was sleeping in. Usually, I was out the door for my morning workout by 4:30 a.m.
I walked over to Emma’s playpen, and watched her sleeping so soundly. A hint of sunlight had started to pour into the room, casting a long shadow from the one window in the office.
I smiled as I watched her little tiny chest rising and falling. At six months, Emma was still oblivious to all of the stresses and anxieties of adult life, and I envied that.
Just then, she stirred in her sleep, and a minute later began to cry.
“Awww there, there, Emma, no need for that,” I said in a low whisper, picking her up from her playpen. I hoisted her onto my chest and walked her around the room while feeding her formula. After a little while, she calmed down and I sat down on the now upright futon with her.
It wasn’t long until she was sleeping again, nestled up all nice and close against my chest. I guess that’s what babies do. Eat, sleep, poop, and occasionally giggle. And then sleep again.
Interestingly, even though I was the adult here, and I was the one who was supposedly calming Emma down, I felt incredibly at peace all of the sudden with her little heart beating against me.
The stress of the past few days had sunken in, and there was this gnawing feeling at the back of my mind that something wasn’t quite right with the way I was dealing with everything. I was trying to be as emotionless as possible in all of this. I didn’t need to get attached. I couldn’t get attached. That would spell disaster when I was headed back to North Carolina for the next four years and there was nothing I could do about it.
It didn’t feel quite right just giving baby Emma away. My plan to keep calling her Baby had failed miserably. She was certainly Emma. And like it or not, I was now her only connection to the world. She had no one else.
Emotion welled up inside me, as I thought about the SEALs and the code to never leave a man or woman behind.
It wasn’t done.
I’d put myself in dangerous situations that I tried to constantly forget. But sometimes those memories came crashing back into my psyche, like an unbridled rolling stone picking up momentum down a hill.
I swallowed and took a deep breath, needing to stay calm before my anxiety crashed through and overtook me.
Think about Emma. Think about Genny.
Putting a picture of Genny in my mind’s eye certainly calmed me in a way. Just knowing she was there--that there was someone out there capable of apparently loving me--put me at ease.
She had loved me. Key word: had. Sure, it was clear as day the desire we had for each other had never left, but there was no way we could end up together in the long run. What was she going to do, move out to North Carolina with me?
Shit, I was thinking crazy now.
You’re overreacting.
It was just a little hookup. Just a little taste…
I reached in between a couple of the cushions and pulled out my phone.
Oddly, there was a voice message on it so I pressed play.
“Yeah, hi Kade this is Lara, Jessica’s cousin. We’re passing through the area tonight, and we were wondering if we could meet with you? We know it’s a tough time, but we got that voice message from last night and we’ve recently been looking into adoption. Maybe we could give little Emma a home. Give me a call back…”
I patted Emma gently on the back. “Well Em, looks like you might be finding some good parents after all.”
I vaguely knew of Lara. She was Jessica’s well-to-do cousin who lived in Katy, Texas. Hell, Lara would be able to give Emma a hell of a better upbringing than I could.
Though, of course she would call the minute I was starting to get the slightest bit attached to the little girl.
Lara and her husband happened to be passing through Douglas that day, so they met up with Emma and me at a local diner for a noon brunch, and we talked over the terms.
“Oh my gosh, Emma is just adorable! Aren’t you, sweetheart!” Lara said, as she gaga’d with Emma bouncing on her lap. I scooped another piece of my omelet into my mouth and nodded.
“She’s the cutest baby this side of the Rio Grande. That’s just a fact. It’s been scientifically proven.”
There was a giant pit at the bottom of my stomach, and I couldn’t really tell why. I knew in my heart that this was for the best. Lara was related to the family, being the cousin of Jessica, Jax’s wife. She could take good care of Emma. That was just the reality, and I needed to face the facts.
Lara leaned in and put her hand on my forearm. Her husband looked on and nodded somberly as Lara spoke. “I’m really sorry. I mean Jessica was my cousin, but I know you must be really beaten up about losing your brother.”
That made the knot in my throat ten times worse.
“Yeah, it’s a shocker.” Is all I managed to choke out. Even though I wasn’t close to my brother at all. That was just a fact. A sad fact. I glanced reflectively out the window for a moment, cleaning off my face with a little bit of the napkin. I washed a forkful of hash browns down with a swig of coffee.
Lara held Emma in her arms, bouncing her. “So Kade, is this it? Do we have to go through an adoption agency? Or how are we going to do this?”
I shrugged. “Honestly Lara, this has been such a crazy week. The fact is, I don’t think they are keeping tabs. I mean they don’t have the resources to be checking up on Emma. For all they know, she’s in good hands.” In my hands, supposedly.
The pit in my stomach only deepened when I thought about not seeing Emma’s little face, or hearing her goofy giggle. Raising my eyes to Lara and her husband, I forced the words out of my mouth. “And now, I can let her go, and she can be with you.”
Lara nodded, and Emma’s cold brown eyes shined like diamonds in the afternoon sun.
Maybe I could have a baby? No, I shook my head. This was the right thing and, to make a battlefield analogy, sometimes you had to know when you were the right man for the job, and other times you had to know when to step back. I wasn’t the man for this job. Emma was meant to be with a family--with Lara and her husband. They were more established. They already have a family. They could take care of her.
It was sad to see her go. As Emma’s car seat was transferred to the other car, I thought about how I needed to return my car seat to Kendra, the nice nurse. It was for the best.
The moment they pulled away in the parking lot, my phone rang. It was my boss, Commander Steele.
“Sir?” I answered the phone.
“Hey Sergeant, how are you holding up? How the hell are you?” he grumbled in a low voice.
I cleared my throat. I was caught off guard by his lack of formality. Plus, I didn’t exactly know how to explain to my commander that I had gotten a little bit attached to my brother’s baby, and had run into my ex-girlfriend and only love. You know, standard stuff.
And now, I had no fucking clue what to do, or how to feel. So, I just turned to an easy answer. “I’m alright,” I said, stiffly.
Silence hung over the phone call. I could hear him breathe. “Don’t bullshit a bullshitter, Sergeant.”
I ran my hand over my face.
“You don’t sound alright,” he continued. “I know what it’s like to lose a brother. It happened to me too. Look
, I pulled some strings and we got you the base that you wanted. In Texas.”
Adrenaline pumped through me. “You what?”
“Yeah, you always said you wanted to be located in Fort Worth right? Well, we got you there. Hey, don’t say a thing. We had someone drop out anyway. Wasn’t like I had to do anything wildly illegal. And no, I’m not winking over the phone.”
I had to laugh a little. “Is this your sense of humor, Sir?”
“Sergeant, don’t question me. I’ll be expecting to see you reporting for duty when the time comes.”
“Thank you, Sir.” Though our conversation was brief, it changed everything. Now, I had no fucking clue what I was going to do. Emma, little baby Emma. Genny. Yeah, I had to make a fucking decision.
I turned on my truck and then turned it off for a minute. I opened the window and let the cool air come in. Well, cool for Texas was about fifty-five degrees today.
I could feel the emotion welling up beneath me. Finally, I just screamed as loud as I could. “Fuuuck!”
I banged against the steering wheel, hitting my palms as hard as I could. Why did it feel like something was not right in the world right now? I let out a loud exhale and turned on some heavy metal music as I made my way back to my brother’s place.
10
Genevieve
The bottling machine topped off the last of the orders I was able to fill and whirred to a stop.
For all their borderline extortion-like practices, Copa Farms had kept their word. They arrived on time like they said they would and dropped off two pallets, which was half my total order.
I blew through both pallets of aloe vera in one day and, looking over at the still-printing stack of new orders that were coming in, I might have to do another full order with them before the season was over!
One step at a time, I reminded myself.
I paid for the the last half a few days ago, so I should be getting the rest of my aloe shipment tomorrow. That was at least one thing I didn’t have to worry about. I stretched and shook the nine hours of working soreness out of my arms, legs, and back.
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