Ryan considered her confession. “I didn’t like school, either. Well, I loved learning, but I hated the classroom.”
“Yeah, that was it, too.”
“Some people learn in different ways.”
“That’s what my mother says.” She changed lanes before adding, “I’ve been thinking about going back, though. Maybe take an independent course or two. See how it is now. My mother said she liked it better the second time around.”
“I did a course last year. Musical theater. It was fun.”
“You sing, too?”
“Well, actually not too well. I barely passed the course.”
They laughed, and afterward there was silence again, but it wasn’t one of the uncomfortable silences that had fallen at his parents’ house.
“I suppose you’ll go to your parents for Thanksgiving,” she said.
“Not if I can find a way out.” He gave an exaggerated sigh.
“I don’t know. There might be a cute girl or two in it for you.”
He groaned, sending a thousand mental darts at his mother. “You can be sure I’m not going, then.” He was half hoping Kerrianne would invite him to her family’s party but hesitated to push her for an invitation. If his mother did decide to invite other families with eligible daughters, he’d simply stay home. He’d seen some TV turkey dinners that didn’t look half bad. While they ate, they could watch sports on TV, and that would please Ria.
“Oh, that reminds me.” He peeked around his seat to make sure Ria, way in the back, was engrossed in conversation. “About that Thanksgiving tea at the school. It’s this Tuesday, right?” When she nodded, he continued, “I’ve been wondering. What do you think Ria should wear? If all the other girls are wearing dresses . . . I mean, she’s always been a tomboy, but lately . . .” He shrugged. “Well, lately, I just don’t understand her.”
“She doesn’t have any dresses?”
“Just a skirt she wears to church. She changes the minute she gets home.”
“I see. Let me think about it a minute. I might have an idea.”
The conversation moved on. All too soon they had arrived at Kerrianne’s where Ryan’s green truck was parked out front.
“Good!” Misty muttered. She jumped from the van as Kerrianne brought it to a halt in the garage and headed into the house.
Kerrianne’s lips tightened. “Now I’m the one to apologize. She’s not normally this way. I wish she and Ria could be friends.”
“It’s okay. Give them time.”
Kerrianne looked at him, her movements stilling, her eyes staring into his, as though trying to understand what he’d said.
What had he said?
Give her time.
Then he knew. Time meant being around. Time indicated a type of permanence.
The boys had all scrambled from the car and followed Misty into the house. Ria was going after them, but more slowly.
For Ryan no one existed but Kerrianne. They sat there in the van, each searching the face of the other. His eyes fell to her lips.
She swallowed hard and pulled back, a movement so slow and smooth that he almost didn’t see it. “I think,” she said, in a low voice, “I might have something for Ria to wear to the tea party. I’ve gathered a bunch of costumes for my preschool, and a few are too big for my preschoolers. Ria’s thin enough that a few adjustments might . . . well, I’ll check tomorrow and let you know.”
He nodded, but his thoughts were elsewhere. “Kerrianne,” he said, his voice low.
Her eyes were large and luminous, deep blue in the dim light of the garage. Ryan moved closer. The widening of her eyes stopped him cold, and he knew without a doubt that she wasn’t ready. He didn’t know how long it would be before she would be—an hour, a day, a week, a month—but now wasn’t the right time. Moving away and opening his door was one of the hardest things he’d done in a year.
* * *
“So, you guys have a good time?” he asked Ria and Tiger as they climbed into the truck a few minutes later.
“Great!” Tiger said. “I love Caleb and Benjamin. I didn’t even care that we had to go to Grandma’s house.”
“Good. I’m glad.”
“Caleb and I are going to play Indians at preschool tomorrow. He says we get a recess. We’re going to be the Indians and scare all the girls.” Tiger talked on, his loud voice filling the entire cab. Ria was noticeably quiet.
“What’s wrong, honey?” Ryan asked her when Tiger finally paused for breath.
She shrugged. “Nothing.”
“Did you have fun with Grandpa?”
Again, she shrugged, staring down at her lap where her fingers twisted together.
Ryan pulled to the curb and let the engine idle. “I can’t try to fix it if you won’t talk to me.”
She mumbled something under her breath. Ryan caught the words “tea party.”
“That reminds me,” he said, guessing at her concern and praying he was right. “I was talking to Kerrianne and she said something about having some dress-up costumes that you might want to wear to the tea party.” Then, in case that didn’t sound good, he added quickly, “Or we could go pick out a dress, if you’d like.”
Ria looked up at him, her hazel eyes bright. “She has a dress-up dress? Like a princess or something?” She looked away, lifting one shoulder in a careless gesture. “I’m not really into that, but I could look at them.”
Tenderness welled up in Ryan’s heart, and he had to fight tears. “When I pick you up from Maxine’s, we’ll go over and see what she has. And if you don’t like it, we’ll find something else. You’ll be the prettiest girl at the tea party.” That was her cue to snort and correct him, saying she’d be the fastest girl or the best at basketball, but this time there was no correction. Apparently being a girl was becoming more important to her. He’d have to take her shopping for clothes soon and see what he could do about that.
“Misty has a lot of dress-ups,” Ria said. “She’ll look pretty, too.” The statement came without envy, for which Ryan was glad.
“Yeah, too bad she’s so mean,” Tiger grumbled.
“She’s just worried,” Ryan said. “I mean, Kerrianne likes you two a lot.”
Tiger’s eyes went wide. “Better than Misty?”
“No, but maybe that’s what Misty’s afraid of.”
Ria leaned into him. “I feel sorry for her. She doesn’t do anything that’s fun. She doesn’t like sports. Do you think that’s because she doesn’t have a dad?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
“You really like Kerrianne, don’t you?” Ria looked up at him hopefully.
“Yeah. Does that bother you?”
“Not really. She’s nice. I think I’m going to grow my hair out like hers.”
“But you hate your hair long.”
“Not anymore.”
Will wonders never cease? Ryan thought as he reached for the steering wheel again. Apparently not. Because at that moment he saw something in the backyard of the house where they were parked. He knew the older couple who lived here since they were now only two streets from their own house.
“Look at that,” he said, pointing.
“A greenhouse?” Ria asked.
“Yes. A greenhouse.”
“I wanna see it!” Tiger climbed over Ria and into Ryan’s lap for a better view.
“Come on,” Ryan said, opening his door. “Let’s go take a look.” He whistled as they went up the walk. He might have found exactly what Kerrianne was looking for.
Chapter Seventeen
Kerrianne laid out the dresses on the table, looking them over. Some were worse for wear, but one or two held promise, though transforming them would take considerable sewing skills. Fortunately, she was up to the task. After the children left for school, she would start. There should be enough time to make over at least one of them before she had to teach preschool.
“Mom, what are you doing?” Misty asked, when she began laying out her sewing mater
ials.
“Ria needs something to wear for the Thanksgiving tea party.”
Misty frowned. “Can’t she wear one of her own dresses?”
Kerrianne sat down next to her daughter. “That’s the problem. She doesn’t have any dresses. Just one skirt.” She held a finger to her lips. “And that’s between you and me. I don’t want you to tell that to anyone else.”
“But why doesn’t she have any?”
“She’s never liked them. But now she wants to fit in with the rest of the girls.”
“Then she should stop acting like a boy!”
Kerrianne stared at Misty for a long moment. “Honey, this isn’t like you. How would you feel if you didn’t have a dress to wear? Pretty awful, wouldn’t you?”
Misty dropped her eyes to the costumes, nodding once.
“But you have a half dozen nice dresses up there in your closet to choose from. And you know what? I was going to ask if you’d lend Ria one for the day, but with the way you’ve been acting toward her, I knew that wasn’t going to happen.” She shook her head. “I’m surprised, because in the old days, the Misty I knew would have found out about her needing a dress and would have already lent her one.”
Misty continued to stare at the costumes, a tear starting down her cheek.
“Oh, honey, don’t cry.” Kerrianne pulled Misty to her and hugged the girl tight. “I love you so much. That’s why I can’t stand to see you unhappy. Sweetie, don’t you understand that we need to love everyone? Ria’s a daughter of our Heavenly Father just like you and me, and that makes her our sister.”
The boys chose that moment to tumble down the stairs where they’d been dressing. Misty wiped away her tears and walked to the counter where Kerrianne had laid the bowls for oatmeal. She was quiet as they ate, but the boys more than made up for her silence.
“Mom, what time is it?” Caleb asked, shoveling a loaded spoon into his mouth. “Iwannapaybulwidrhine.”
“What?”
He swallowed. “I want to play ball with Ryan.”
“No,” she said. “You’ll see him later. It’s freezing out there. I don’t want you sick.” She herself had the beginnings of a cough, and she wasn’t taking any chances with Caleb. The last thing she wanted was a whole preschool of sick children. Thank heaven she had only two days of class this week.
Popping a cough drop into her mouth, she helped Misty and Benjamin gather their things and get out to the bus, looking like round balls bundled up in their thick winter coats. The cold was so intense that it hurt Kerrianne’s throat. Glancing at the mailbox she wondered how Ryan could stand being out in this weather all day. She was glad she only had to wait here until the bus picked up the kids. When they were gone, she went inside and made a mug of hot chocolate. Then she wrote a note.
Caleb stared with interest. “Mom, can I have some?”
“It’s not for me.”
Pulling on her long black sweater and her slippers, she walked out to the mailbox while Caleb watched from the window. She put the mug of chocolate into the box and then sprinted back up to the house.
* * *
The air was freezing, reminding Ryan more of a winter day in early February than November. His hands were still warm inside his gloves, but he knew in a few hours they’d be stiff with cold. The skin on one or both would eventually split, causing days of pain. Maybe it was time to apply for that night management position at East Bay. No more days in the cold, and he’d be home all day and evening in case the children needed him. The only drawback was that he didn’t like the idea of leaving them all night with a sitter, though they’d be asleep and wouldn’t know it. He shook his head. No, East Bay didn’t feel right.
At the same time, he felt he should pursue some new avenue for work. But what? If he talked to Kerrianne about it, he bet she’d say the Lord would provide a way. Thinking of her greenhouse, he had to grin. The Lord had certainly provided there. He couldn’t wait to surprise her.
He reached her house, a half hour later than normal, though he’d worked rapidly through Monday’s deluge of mail. He looked instinctively toward the porch. She wasn’t there, causing him a moment of stabbing disappointment. Well, he didn’t blame her. It was really cold out.
Was that a movement at her window? No, just a trick of the light.
Her box wasn’t shut tight, and it practically fell open as he brought up his hand. Surprise coursed through his veins, followed by a rush of giddiness he hadn’t felt since he married Laurie. Inside the mailbox was a large mug of steaming hot chocolate, filled nearly to the brim. He was glad she hadn’t shut the box tightly or the liquid might have sloshed over when he yanked it open. The mug was warm in his hands, and the chocolate heated him from the inside, staving off the cold.
There was also a note: Hey, Mister Mailman. I confess. I’ve been using this mailbox for my own nefarious purposes. I know it’s against the law. Haven’t you got to turn me in?
He laughed and stared up at the house again. He was filled with an irresistible desire to march up her steps, bang on her door until she opened it, and give her a great big kiss—whether or not she was ready for it!
He was halfway to the door before he came to his senses. He was at work, not on his own time, and he’d learned well through the years that neighbors were always watching. Besides, the way he was feeling, he’d probably do something stupid like propose to her, and she’d pack and move to Brazil.
Heart thudding in his chest, he forced himself back into the mail truck, and drove to the next house.
* * *
Before preschool, Kerrianne managed to fix up not one but both dressups for Ria, using Misty’s size as a guideline, except for the height, which she increased for Ria. The finished dresses really didn’t look as good as she’d hoped, though she doubted Ria would notice. Still, maybe she’d tell Ryan to buy her one. With Christmas around the corner, there would likely be some available in the stores. Of course, one evening wasn’t a lot of time to find something Ria might like. Too bad Ryan hadn’t thought of it earlier.
“Mommy, Mommy, Tiger’s here!” Caleb called from the front window where he’d been watching for his friend. “He’s coming up the front walk!”
Tiger didn’t know yet that the preschool children were supposed to walk in her garage door and go directly downstairs to the rooms she’d finished in the basement. She’d have to remember to tell him.
Kerrianne went to open the front door for Ryan and Tiger, who was jumping up and down with excitement. Caleb pulled him into the house and they disappeared.
“Come in.” She shut the door as he entered.
“I won’t stay long. I know the other kids’ll be here soon. I’m sorry I’m a little early. I’m on my lunch break.”
“That’s fine—really.”
His face sobered. “We have something serious to talk about.”
“Oh?” Her heart thumped loudly in her chest. She wasn’t sure she was ready to talk about their relationship. At the same time, she would be glad to have it all out in the open. He had to understand that there really wasn’t room for him in her heart.
“Yes.” His mouth twitched, but he maintained his grave expression. “Now, I know I’ve told you before that though you purchased your mailbox and put it up yourself, your mailbox is still the property of the U.S. Postal Service, and by law it can’t be used for anything but official business.”
She nearly laughed out loud, from both relief and amusement. “It can’t?” she asked, matching his seriousness.
Again the twitch of his mouth as he fought a smile. His gray eyes were warm like metal baked in the sun. “I’m going to have to turn you in, ma’am.”
“I see,” she said. “That’s too bad, because my hot chocolate really is the best. I have a secret ingredient, you know.”
“I do know.” He took a step closer. Kerrianne would have stepped back but she was already against the wall. “That’s why I’m willing to make an exception in this case,” he continued.
He was very close now, and the energy between them was so strong that all her nerves hummed with tension, screamed out to do something. Anything.
A kiss?
No, I don’t want to kiss anyone but Adam.
Liar.
“We’re willing to let it go this time,” Ryan said. “However, the U.S. Postal Service must receive something in return.” His grin broke through now but only for an instant.
Kerrianne put her hands on her hips. “And what might that be?”
Ryan shook his head in an exaggerated motion. “I’m not sure. Do you have any suggestions?”
Kerrianne could think of only one at the moment, one Adam certainly wouldn’t approve of. “No,” she whispered. Kiss me! she thought.
As though reading the thought in her eyes, Ryan’s head dipped and their lips met. Softly, ever so softly, and then with more firmness. Kerrianne’s head swirled with emotion. His hand went to the back of her neck, pulling her closer. All she wanted was for the kiss to continue forever. But what about Adam? Guiltily, she broke away.
Ryan gave a soft whistle. “I don’t know, ma’am. That could be misconstrued as bribery, plain and simple. But we could try again just to be sure.”
She laughed, sidestepping him. “Come and see these costumes. I hope Ria will like them.”
“I’m sure she will.” Disappointment wreathed his voice. He wasn’t looking at the costumes—his gaze was fixed on her face. Kerrianne blushed. She heard the strand of Christmas bells ring on the back door, the one she always put there before preschool so she’d know when the kids began arriving. “That’s a student,” she said.
“I’d better get going, then. See you tonight. In fact, I have a surprise for you.” His voice was full of—what? Promise? Tenderness? Frustration? Maybe a little of all three. He left before she had time to ask him who would be coming for Tiger at two.
Blowing out a short breath, she headed for the freezer for just a bite of semisweet baking chocolate before going downstairs.
Huntington Family Series Page 107