All we had to do was wait, and our patience is as eternal as death itself.
They have admitted us to this dimension, as you have. Your pitiful mortal existence can know nothing more sublime than death itself, and so we shall permit you to remain, to watch as we bless your race.
And all others.
None could stand against us in our dimension. Do you think you can stand against us when we come for you?
Talia threw her head back, shaking and screaming and trembling. The lights still blazed in the sky, but they seemed so faint. The network was there, but it seemed so weak. These things had infiltrated it, been allowed to enter it by the Vorlons. be
Al was there. yu
She stumbled backwards, staring up into the sky. sy
"Help me!"
* * *
There was no one to help him now. He was alone. ou
If he had to concede it to himself (and if he could not trust himself, whom could he trust?) he would admit that he had always been alone. That was the burden of power and responsibility. You could not regard those who followed you as real people with real lives. That way lay madness. wi
Still, General John J. Sheridan had hoped there were a few he could trust, a few he could call friends. ll
A few he could love.... ob
"Do you not believe me?" asked Sebastian, in his perfectly enunciated voice. He seemed to dwell on very syllable, every letter even, making sure its presence was known and commented on before moving to the next. ey
"No," Sheridan whispered, broken. "I believe you. It all.... makes too much sense to be lies. My father always used to know when I was lying to him, and he said he could hear the ring of truth in anything I said. us
"What you've just told me.... it has the ring of truth to it." yo
"We are nothing but truth, General. If you want lies, turn to the other side. If you desire to know truth and enlightenment.... then we are here. We will always be here." uw
"Yes," he said, with more than just a hint of bitterness. "I know you will." il
"It is painful, I know," said Sebastian, without any sympathy at all. "But better for you to know now than to have it always be hidden." lo
"Yes." be
"In any event, it was a pleasure, General. I can see you will need some time to think. There are many options before of you. You should consider them. I.... may be busy soon, but if I am available, feel free to come and visit me. Or there are always my associates. They will be happy to discuss any concerns you may have regarding these.... revelations. They will also be more than willing to answer any questions you may have." yu
Sheridan looked up as Sebastian started to walk away, the tip–tap of his cane on the floor rhythmic and precise. sy
"Why?" he asked. ou
Sebastian turned back. "I beg your pardon?" wi
"Why did you tell me this? Why now? Why me?" ll
"Three excellent questions." He regarded Sheridan levelly. "To the first, because you had a right to know, and because we hate lies, and because we have always regarded you as special. To the second, you have been.... changed recently. You have begun to question and doubt and seek answers in unfamiliar places. You would not have reacted this way before. You might not even have cared. But you have changed, and you have begun to question, and it was only fitting that you receive answers." ob
"Changed," he said, with a bitter laugh. "Oh, is that ever true." ey
"And as to the third," Sebastian continued as if he had never been interrupted. "You are special. You have a rare gift, General - to weld people to your side, to spread your dreams so that they become the dreams of others. You are a natural leader, and your position here is well–deserved. You have also seen much death and much loss, and you will not wish to see these things return to this galaxy. Yours can be a powerful voice for peace and unity. us
"You are special, General, and there are forces that will seek to take advantage of that for their own ends. We cannot permit that. We cannot permit others to control you by lies and by deceit and by shadows. We are the truth, as I trust we have now proven." yo
Sheridan looked down again, his head in his hands. uw
"If there is anything more I can do for you...." Sheridan did not reply. "Then I shall take my leave, and permit you to return to your thoughts. It has been a pleasure, General. Good day." il
He left. It took a long, long time before the echo of his cane stopped resounding in Sheridan's mind. lo
* * *
It seemed such a small room to hold so much. be
The Council Hall on Babylon 5 had always been big enough before. It was smaller than the Chambers they had used on Kazomi 7, but it had been more than adequate for their needs. Now it looked tiny. yu
Lethke zum Bartrado, diplomat and nobleman and Merchant–Lord, looked around at those he had gathered, and realised he was not just standing in a room with Ambassador Durano, but with the entire Centauri people. He was not talking merely with Ambassador G'Kael, but with every Narn man and woman alive. Little wonder the room looked small. sy
He had always known these implications, but over time the knowledge had been lost to him. His uncle had been a Merchant–Lord, an incredibly rich man, a wily and experienced trader with contacts on a score of worlds. Lethke had travelled with him as a child and as a young man, and he had dreamed of seeing more of these aliens, of understanding how they thought and why they acted, of knowing more than just how to take their money. ou
And so he had become a diplomat. The skills of language and perception his father had taught him served him well in both fields. wi
But over time, the meaning of what he was had escaped him. He had become just another servant of the Government, just another politician drawing a wage and holding down a job. ll
As he looked around at his companions, he realised again what he really was. ob
He was the voice of the Brakiri people, and he had been silent for too long. ey
Durano, the cold, icily–efficient Centauri statesman. Lethke had come to admire his competence and calm. He remembered the emotionless look on Durano's face as he signed the Kazomi Treaty joining the Alliance, as he reported the raids on Centauri worlds, as he announced the illness of Emperor Mollari II. us
G'Kael, pleasant, almost jovial. Lethke and he had dined together on a number of occasions, and spoken of their religious beliefs. G'Kael always seemed sincere and genuine and truly devout, dedicated to the cause of his people and his Government, a Government which no longer existed. yo
Taan Churok. He had been present at the birth of the Alliance, and for those early, difficult years he had been a rock of stability and certainty, always committed to the cause the Alliance stood for. He had fought beside his people during the Conflict, and had returned to the Alliance following the Drazi surrender. Lethke could not recall a single word he had spoken in Council since that day. uw
Kulomani. Loyal, driven, dedicated. It was no coincidence he had been chosen as Commander of Babylon 5, but Lethke did not know where Kulomani would align himself or where his decisions would lead him. il
No one else. Was this all there were? Lethke had wanted to call a private meeting before the Council meeting itself, a meeting of those he trusted. He wanted to test the water, to see where people would turn. lo
These were all the people he could trust. He felt almost sick. be
Delenn was too busy, and too synonymous with the Alliance. With G'Kar away, she led the Rangers. She had renounced her ties to her own people to concentrate on the Alliance. To Lethke, who would not have dreamed of taking the same step, it seemed an admirable act, but it compromised her. If she were here, Taan Churok would definitely not be, as well as maybe G'Kael and Kulomani. yu
The Minbari did not have an Ambassador, despite having been members of the Alliance for over a year and a half. Kulomani was aware that the Grey Council had sent a representative, but however many good words he heard of Satai Kats, he did not know her. sy
The humans
were represented by General Sheridan, but his first duty would be to the Alliance and the Dark Star fleet. He had led the attack on Zhabar and other Drazi worlds during the Conflict, and Taan Churok would not be likely to forget it. ou
The Pak'ma'ra had recalled their Ambassador when news reached them of the attack on Narn. So had the Llort. wi
So few. ll
"I...." He coughed. "I thank you all for coming. I realise this is.... pre–empting the scheduled meeting, but I wanted to discuss a few matters privately first, to see what response we are going to make to the.... incident. We are all Ambassadors and diplomats, and our first loyalties must be to our own peoples. I would like us to present a united view to the Alliance, but most of all I would like us all to know where we stand." ob
Kulomani rose to his feet. "I am a soldier of the United Alliance," he said. "This is a meeting of Ambassadors." ey
"I requested your presence for a reason, Commander," Lethke said. "Your opinion is as important as anyone else's." us
Kulomani looked around the room, slowly and carefully. Lethke felt a chill as his compatriot stared at him. The soldier had the eyes of a diplomat. Finally, he sat down. yo
"If I may," Durano said, in his clipped, precise tones. He rose. "I received a communication from my Government moments before leaving to attend this meeting. We have only recently been able to send messages off–world. uw
"Emperor Mollari II has awoken from his coma, and looks set to make a full recovery from his illness. He has been thoroughly examined, and will begin to resume official duties within a few weeks. One of his first acts, he hopes, will be to visit Babylon Five to meet Ambassador G'Kael personally." Durano turned to the Narn. "Indeed, he has personally asked me to pass on his most sincere condolences to you and all your people." il
"Thank you," G'Kael replied, displaying no emotion at all. lo
"Is it wise for the Emperor to come here?" Lethke asked. be
"That, I believe, is what this meeting has been called to determine. Am I wrong?" yu
"Matter is simple," Taan Churok answered. "I will leave here now. All Drazi will leave. We return home, and we fight to get home back. You smart, you all fight too." sy
"You cannot do that," Lethke said calmly. ou
"We try." wi
"This cannot be resolved by war." ll
"War is all we have." Taan looked at G'Kael. "If you helped when we fought last time, perhaps you still have homeworld left. We fight and we lose. Maybe we lose this time, but we fight, and maybe others fight too." ob
"But surely a peaceful solution...." ey
"Alliance built for peace. Alliance built for good intentions. But things change. Alliance change. This not Alliance we helped create. You know this. Something wrong. Very wrong. We fight it." us
Lethke bowed his head. He had known, somehow, that it would come to this. Peace was still possible. He knew it. But he could not create peace alone. yo
"Is this a private party," said a solemn voice. "Or can anyone join in?" uw
Lethke looked up. G'Kar stood in the doorway. il
* * *
"It's beginning, isn't it?"
"What?"
"The storm."
"It has already begun. We just have not noticed it yet."
"My mother was a telepath. She used to play music for me, sing for me, old Russian songs of lost love and old Gods and the old country. My mother's dead, my country is dead, the songs are dead. I try to remember them, but they all slip away. I try to remember the names of the Gods and they.... aren't there."
"We are the Gods now. Or we will be. You are a God now."
"Me? Hah. The God of what exactly? Cynicism, melancholy and bad jokes?"
"There are worse things to be a God of."
"And you? No, forget I asked."
"I feel no shame for what I am, and nor should I. If I am to be the God of War, worshipped and feared as such, then let me be the God of War. Then no one else has to be."
"You scare me."
"Good. I should."
"And are the Gods going to war?"
"The old Gods have been at war for a very long time. We are going to end it."
"But it isn't ending, is it? It's just beginning."
"Everything is a cycle. Sometimes, to end a thing, you have to begin it. To break the circle, you have to know where it starts."
"I don't get you."
"Sometimes neither do I."
"Have you contacted your friends?"
"Yes. They are prepared."
"Are you nervous?"
"No. I am oddly calm. Are you?"
"Terrified."
"Perhaps you could be the God of Terror."
"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"
"Like everything else, a little of both."
* * *
"There is danger. Remember." lo
Dexter reeled beneath the onslaught of sheer.... wrongness. The very air seemed thick and heavy and poisonous. Blood filled his mouth and his eyes and his senses. Blood filled his whole being. be
Talia was motionless. As he looked at her through a thin veil of crimson, Dexter thought she looked like a statue, a statue constructed of blood and pain. yu
The creature looming above her was simply looking around. It seemed to be receiving information from its senses, not the pitiful five or six that humans possessed, but hundreds of senses, every one created for a single purpose. sy
"There is danger," the Vindrizi hissed again. "Remember." ou
The words were thick and hollow and emotionless. Or perhaps that was just the way Dexter heard them. wi
He slumped forward, on his knees. This creature, this thing, this God, was so awesomely, unutterably alien. He had known Minbari, had fought against them for so long and even fallen in love with one. He had known Narns and Centauri and Brakiri. He had met a Pak'ma'ra and thought it was the most revolting thing he had ever seen. ll
But this was more alien than any of them. This was ancient and powerful and other. The very earth and air seemed to revolt beneath it and shy away from its touch. The ground beneath the Box was growing black and twisted, a foul smell rising from it. ob
A torrent of blood filled his mouth. ey
Dexter felt the creature look at him, look at him with those countless extra senses. He felt his memories being opened and violated - his mother's death, his first kiss, his first drink, cheating at cards, kissing Talia, killing Delenn. us
If he could put a human emotion to it, and he knew that even attempting such a thing was an absurdity, he would say that the creature was amused by the sheer insignificance of his existence. He was nothing, not even an insect. He had thought he was something more, something special.... yo
"There is danger. Remember." uw
When all he was was a drop of water screaming 'look at me' to the other drops of water. il
A single voice in a multitude of voices that together made up nothing more than an infinitesimal whisper in the universe. Everyone he had ever met, ever heard of, that had ever been alive. lo
They were all nothing. be
He sank further forward, smelling the foulness of his own blood hitting the ground. He felt as if his mouth were full of his own vomit, his nostrils filled with the scent of his own excrement. yu
"There is danger. Remember." sy
Head lolling on his shoulders, thick and heavy and empty, he looked up, his eyes bleeding simply from looking at the creature, at the monarch of this tiny and pathetic kingdom of ants. ou
"There is danger. Remember." wi
That was when Talia screamed, when a brilliant burst of light filled the room, and when his mind suddenly became a great deal clearer. ll
* * *
I was not there when G'Kar went to speak with the group Ambassador Lethke had gathered. Sometimes I wish I had been, but if I had gone, maybe I would never have left that room, and maybe these words would never have been written. My life is built on such flimsy and fragile choices and coincidences t
hat sometimes I think I must have been blessed by some higher power, that my every breath is part of some grander scheme.
Then in my arrogance I stop, and realise that the same is true of every other living thing in existence.
It was not my choice not to go to that meeting. It was G'Kar's, and of course it was understandable. He was going to speak to some of the most powerful people in the Alliance, in the galaxy even. His words could affect the entire future of the Alliance. He had no wish for a child to accompany him.
But to that child, his decision seemed painful and treacherous. He had left me alone with a hard–faced, stern–looking woman called Na'Toth, who seemed too busy checking weapons and contacting ships outside the station to worry about me.
Tired and upset and a little angry, I waited in the corner of the room.
Everything I know about that meeting I heard later. I have heard some truly horrific rumours, some horrible reports.
I believe every one of them.
L'Neer of Narn, Learning at the Prophet's Feet.
There was silence for a moment as G'Kar stood framed in the doorway. Lethke did not know what to say, and he imagined everyone else was in the same position. ob
G'Kar looked.... both weaker and stronger. He was frail and the hasty bandage across his eye did little to hide the damage that had clearly been done. The effects of his imprisonment showed on his body. ey
But there was also a sort of glow on him, and his bearing radiated a vigour that belied his fatigue. Here was a wounded man, almost broken, someone who has stared death in the face and emerged with a new purpose, moving in that one perfect moment between weakness and strength. us
It was G'Kael who spoke first. He moved forward and bowed his head. "Welcome back, Ha'Cormar'ah G'Kar," he said softly. yo
If G'Kar hesitated, it was only for an instant. He bowed his head likewise and said, "It is good to be back, Ambassador." uw
He looked around the room and Lethke felt the power of that one–eyed gaze fall upon him. He felt so ashamed and weak. Surely he could have done a little more, done something, anything, to have averted or forewarned or eased what had happened. He closed his eyes, and the gaze of judgment faded, moving on. il
A Dark, Distorted Mirror. Volume 5 : Among the Stars, like Giants. Part 5 : The Three–Edged Sword addm-5 Page 5