11. NECESSARY REPAIRS
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Calm befell the Root Palace. Thoughts turned from frantic defense to plans for rebuilding. A new departure date was tentatively set for 10688.085. One month was probably more than enough time.
For the first time in a week there was civilian activity outside the shelter of the Root Palace proper. The courtyard was alive with shopkeepers and repair crews. On several public screens highlights of the Bahahmei footage played over and over again, mostly because there were always those willing, or even still anxious, to watch.
All of the retired Shades except for Wil Parish were still present. Everyone had their own reasons for remaining. Both Isker Vays and Kimbal Furst were stuck in the hospital recovering. Cranden, with his student dead, requested a leave of absence from Locsard to help in whatever way possible with rebuilding and preparing for the Vine’s subsequent departure. Aila Schosser was seldom seen outside the company of Wheeler Barson. Cov Merasec was determined to continue training Gast Froster up until the Vine’s departure. Sana Bale wanted to work with Gilf Scanlan and make the Prisma Shield generator more portable before leaving, sure that threats similar to the Gun Golems existed elsewhere in the universe. Laedra Hol was ostensibly waiting for Kimbal Furst to recover, but in fact couldn’t bring herself to leave the place where Jav was, not just yet anyway.
A victory banquet was planned, and with the shadow of the Gun Golems lifted, everyone was ready to celebrate. Ren was particularly excited. With some time to relax, he would finally have a chance to get together with Brin. Over the last few days, they had been so busy with briefings, fighting the enemy, hospital visits, and stolen snatches of rest that he had seen very little of her. He had no idea, however, that it was also by design that their encounters had been so limited.
Kalkin had gone on ahead with Elza to the banquet, leaving Jav and Vays to fend for themselves. The three emergency Shades had been assigned temporary quarters in the guest dormitories, and since Jav didn’t know where Vays was, he instead sought out Ren and Froster in their dormitory. Ren had wanted to talk to Brin but couldn’t get a hold of her so finally gave up. The three young men made their way to the banquet hall, talking and laughing. Jav and Froster did their best to convince Ren that his teacher would be okay, and Ren did his best to acknowledge their efforts. In the crowded lobby leading to the hall, Ren stepped ahead of his friends, focused intently on something, or, as it turned out, someone.
“Brin!” Ren shouted amiably.
She turned around as he placed a hand on her shoulder, her face holding a momentarily crooked smile.
“It’s good to see you!” he said. “It seems like it’s been—”
“Ren, we need to talk.”
He grinned, heedless of the tone of her voice and the cast of her face as she said the words. “I was thinking the same thing,” he said.
“No, my dear,” came an unexpected interruption. Vays, standing just ahead of Brin, turned around and fixed Ren with his stare. “You don’t need to talk. The little puppy just needs to be sent on his way.”
Brin took a deep breath and held it as Ren’s face contorted with indignation. She had lied to him for so long and he had never done anything but help and support her. She wanted the chance to tell him, to try to explain if possible. She owed him more than a curt dismissal.
Ren was already speaking, “I don’t know what your problem is, Vays, but this is none of your business, so stay out of it.”
Vays sighed and shook his head. “It is my business and I will not stay out of it. You’re such a fool.”
“Now you listen to me—”
“No, Fauer, I think you’ve got this backwards. You don’t tell me what to do, I tell you. That’s how the chain of authority works. That’s how it is, that’s how it’ll always be. You’ll always be second best, just like you always have been.”
Ren was fuming, but it was Jav who snapped. “Shut up, Vays!”
Vays calmly turned to Jav. “Holson, you and I are peers. I respect you and whatever you might have to say, but I’m under no obligation to take orders from you.”
Jav placed his hand on Ren’s shoulder, settling renewed fervor in him. “Actually, you are. I outrank you, so step down from your high horse and shut up.”
“What did you say?” Vays looked truly confused, as if Jav had spoken in a foreign language.
“I said I outrank you so shut up.”
Vays continued to stare and finally said, “Just how do you outrank me?”
“Technically I’ve been a Shade for the last six years. You’re so fond of pedigrees and certificates, I’m shocked you let it slip your notice.”
Understanding mingled with frustration as Vays’s eyes burned into Jav. Then, seeming to acquiesce, he nodded. “Hmm. . . So, is that how you came out first in your block?”
Everyone around them in the lobby stopped what he or she was doing; even those pretending to ignore the developing situation could not help but stare at the two. Silence fell like a shroud. Unseen among the many onlookers, with Elza dumbstruck by his side, Kalkin watched, scrutinizing, appraising.
Jav’s gray eyes were cold and flat. “Let’s find out, shall we? Right here, right now. No Artifacts. My bare hands against your sword.” He waved a hand, indicating the gawking crowd. “Everyone here can be a witness.”
No one present, not even his friends, had ever seen Jav angry before, but the menace that poured out of him now saturated the air with a dark and palpable miasma. Was this the same room they had entered only moments ago? Surely the lights had dimmed, the temperature had dropped. . .
“How about it Vays?” Jav said. “Let’s find out who’s second best.”
Vays studied Jav with unblinking eyes. “No. That won’t be necessary. I told you I respect you, Holson.”
Jav wondered idly if that respect was genuine or simply a response to seniority. It didn’t matter, though. “Good. Let them finish their business.”
Ren looked at Jav, the direction of his hot indignation unclear. He took Brin’s hands in his and led her out of the lobby, away from the hall.
Uneasily, Vays watched them go, but Jav clapped him on the shoulder and led him through the lobby into the hall with Froster following. “We all need to get along, Vays,” Jav said. “Even when we don’t have any other enemies.”
Vays conceded somewhat grudgingly, and Froster chuckled to himself as the three found their table. Kalkin made a point to stay away until tempers had clearly cooled then joined them, feigning ignorance of the altercation. He would need to talk to Vays, but not here, not now, not when things were already under control. He couldn’t and wouldn’t tolerate an attitude like that on his team.
Ren and Brin did not join the banquet that night. After it had finished, Jav and Froster waited for Ren in the dorm’s common room, but fell asleep long before he returned.
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In the morning, they found Ren sitting on the edge of one of the overstuffed common room chairs, his elbows resting on his knees, his face black. Froster jostled Jav awake. They tried and tried but could extract nothing from their friend. He had come so far as to join them, though, in spite of his silence, so they stayed with him. Barring further emergencies, they were off duty and could afford to spend the day keeping Ren company.
In low whispers, Jav and Froster tried to pool their knowledge of Brin Karvasti. Through Ren, they both knew of her of course and of Ren’s devotion to her, but nothing much beyond that. When he first met her, Jav felt that every word out of her demanded scrutiny, but this he kept to himself. Even if Froster had similar thoughts, facts were all they could really use, and until Ren decided to talk, facts were in short supply.
By late afternoon, after essentially making the common room their de facto den, Ren took a deep breath, raised his face, and said, “I think I’m hungry.”
Jav and Froster looked at each other and grinned. For Shades food and drink were largely psychological necessities, ingrai
ned habits that were hard to quit. If deprived of either, a Shade would come to little harm, but he or she might sorely miss the comfort of regular meals. The social element was another powerful force that always managed to bring Shades back to the table.
“I heard that some places are already serving again down in Arcade,” Froster said. “Let’s go get something to eat.”
Jav nodded and together with Froster he pulled Ren up to his feet, and the three were on their way.
Outside, cleanup and construction crews were still busy at work, but a number of shops and restaurants in Arcade were indeed back in business.
Arcade hugged a long stretch of the left courtyard wall and was a cavernous network of shops that provided everything not absolutely necessary for survival. Necessities were available to all within the Root Palace for free. In Arcade, everything had a price. It was a diversion, a place to get lost for a while, and to have fun.
They found a small, quiet place and became its sole customers. Later, when the sun shut down, people would be lining up to get in, but it was early, and in spite of the work crews and occasional passersby, it felt like the three of them were the only ones around, or even alive, in the courtyard.
Under the spindly boughs of hardened Vine that covered the stretch of Arcade, Ren finally opened up while they ate. It didn’t take much beer to get him talking, but then the beer didn’t stop coming. As they were all Artifact holders now, it would take an incredible volume of alcohol to get drunk, but Ren was determined.
“The last seventeen years of my life have been a waste. Everything I am was in some way tied to her. My motivation, my strength, my plans for the future. . . It’s all gone. All lies. She says she doesn’t even remember when it started. It was a game to exercise her will, little harmless amusements at first that were easy to pull off since we only saw each other once a year when our fathers were on vacation.
“But with or without her help—I’ll never no which—I was helplessly in love with her by my late teens and finally told her so before I went to start my training.”
Ren smirked. “I wanted to be a Shade. To protect her, provide for her. What a joke. We made plans, though. Stupid, huh?” He started laughing now, unable to ignore how ridiculous it all sounded. “Nothing really changed, I guess. As friends, we had always had a long-distance relationship. We would as lovers, too. Lovers. . .” he shook his head in disgust.
“You know, it would be one thing if I were some lovesick crazy, coddling a demented, secret fantasy all these years, but it wasn’t a secret and it wasn’t one-sided. She played an active role. And that’s just it, it was a role, like a part in a play—a comedy—and I got to be the clown.
“Maybe I shouldn’t complain, though. She fooled me so thoroughly that it was as good as genuine at the time, and she was never stingy with her affection. Just hollow.” All the animation suddenly drained from Ren’s face. It occurred to him for the first time that her lies could have made him believe they’d been intimate even if they never actually had been. Her power of suggestion made everything suspect, and he began to slip past depression, feeling reality reduced to a fragile glass bubble that surrounded him, ready to shatter if he asked the wrong question or made the right deduction.
“Ren!” Froster shouted as he shook his friend’s shoulders. “Ren, some things she can’t touch. You’re a Shade. You’re a master of Approaching Infinity. You’re a master of the Ten Thousand Paths. Maybe you think you accomplished those things because of her, but those accomplishments are yours. If she disappeared tomorrow, was wiped out of existence, gone forever, those things would still be yours.”
Ren nodded, regaining a bit of his reason. “She said she couldn’t help it, that it was like a game. Said it was almost a reflex now, but nearly getting killed woke her up a little and she wanted to tell me finally before she lost her nerve again. Said she didn’t want to trick me anymore. Nice of her, huh?
“I don’t need to tell you that she’s with him. I should have seen it, I guess. Since she arrived, he always seems to be around. And I guess it really is his business after all.”
“Maybe, Ren,” Jav said. “But it’s your business first.
“She could tell anyone anything, and they’d have little choice but to believe her. In a way, you have the luxury of making your own truth with her. But maybe that’s harder. You’re still stuck with a dilemma.”
“Dilemma?” Ren said, staring into his beer.
Jav looked straight ahead, his eyes unfocused. “Knowing how you should feel about her. Should you hate her? Try to understand her? Take into account your past relationship with her? Or does that have any bearing anymore? Did it ever?”
With his mouth open, Ren was now staring at Jav. “Yeah. . . Yeah. . .”
Jav smiled sadly and turned to Ren. “Let me tell you about Mai Pardine.” And he did.
“Laedra Hol. . .” Froster shook his head in disbelief.
“Have you forgiven her?” Ren asked.
Jav shook his head. “I don’t think I can ever forgive her for what she did, but I still don’t know how I should feel. She’s my teacher. Part of me still respects her. Part of me wants to understand her. Part of me even feels sorry for her. But a large part of me still hates her. Obviously that can’t matter under certain circumstances. I’m lucky that she’s retired. It’s going to be harder for you, Ren.”
Ren nodded. It was going to be hard, but hearing Jav share what really happened to Mai Pardine and the particulars of why made him feel as if he didn’t have to bear the burden of this new, revised reality alone.
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When not on alert and unless excused, active duty Shades were required to attend regularly scheduled briefings presided over by Witchlan then train until evening as usual. During the next day’s briefing Ren did his best to ignore Brin and Vays. Brin seemed to match him in his efforts, but Vays’s sense of superiority occasionally intruded and a smug comment would escape. Most of the day’s agenda was about how resources would be allocated for rebuilding, but also included were instructions for how and where the new Shades would spend their regular duty hours.
Practice facilities for the three generals and the previous Plague Squad members had been established long ago and were suited to individual needs. Since their disciplines were in some ways similar, Brin was instructed to accompany Tia Winn and train with her. Elza Steinz would go to Military Hardware to discuss with Director Scanlan what she would need to make full use of and train her skills with the Crush Box. Vays, Jav, Ren, and Froster were authorized to commandeer the general athletic facility until other arrangements could be made.
On the way out of the briefing, Kalkin stopped Vays, sending the rest off to the athletic facility and promising that Vays would be along later. No one thought anything of it. The three knew the location of the facility so went on ahead.
In addition to one standard gravity trainer and one with a hard light generator, the general athletic facility held various conditioning apparatuses and a dry traction swimming pool. All of this was surrounded by a resistance running track. When he arrived about twenty minutes later, Vays took over half of the hard light trainer and kept to himself. The other three took turns with two sparring on the free trainer while the third practiced his forms and one-man drills in the leftover space available on the hard light trainer.
Throughout the day Vays said nothing to any of them, and they ignored him. Jav, Ren, and Froster practiced alone and in pairs in rotation, and finished up in the dry pool with a swim that quickly devolved into a fierce game of slow-motion tag. When they were finished, Vays was gone.
After getting cleaned up, and now free to do as they pleased, the three discussed their plans for the evening.
“Well,” Ren said, “I could tell you what I’m not going to do, but you guys already know.”
“Sorry, guys,” Froster said. “I’ve got to meet up with my teacher, so you’re on your own.”
“Ren,” Jav said, “let’s go chec
k on your teacher and see how he’s doing.”
Ren nodded.
“Say hello for me and wish him my best,” Froster said with a wave on his way out.
“Right.” Ren let out a long sigh.
“You’re all right, Ren,” Jav said. “Let’s go hear the doctors tell us what we already know: that your teacher is going to be all right, too.”
• • •
And the doctors did just that. They already knew that Kimbal Furst’s operation four nights before was successful, but not without complications. Now the doctors could say with confidence that the worst was over and that full recovery was possible in a matter of weeks.
“How do you feel, Teacher?” Ren asked.
“Like I’m constantly just about to throw up.” Furst sat up and settled against the headboard of the hospital bed. His face was pale; his eyes were dark and bloodshot. “But it’s not as bad as before.”
“You heard the good news, right? That it’s over?” Ren said.
Furst only shrugged.
Confused by his teacher’s reaction, Ren unconsciously turned to Jav as if he might find an explanation there.
“Isn’t it good news, Teacher?” Jav asked.
“Yeah, I suppose it is, if it is over.”
“How could it not be? How could there be anything left?” Ren said a little reservedly, trying not to sound confrontational.
Pursing his lips, Furst cocked his head. “I can burn pretty hot, Ren. I can burn hotter than some suns, for a few moments anyway.” His brow furrowed and his gaze grew unfocused. “I wouldn’t be surprised if at least some of the Gun Golems are still physically intact. If Cranden was right, though, then we have nothing to worry about.” He looked at each of them, his face brightening with an approximation of a smile. “I’m sure he was right.”
• • •
Leaving the hospital, Jav and Ren walked the halls of the Root Palace aimlessly. The happy news of Furst’s recovery had been somewhat tainted by his uncertainty regarding the Gun Golems’ fate and both Jav and Ren had been infected with his doubt. Each lost in thought, silence dominated.
The Gun Golems (Approaching Infinity Book 2) Page 10