I won’t, his mind whispered to mine, and a thought/emotion engulfed me, a cross between love and need and all the good we’d found between us. Our bond hummed and tingled, and I was yanked into it, caught in the tidal wave of desire rippling between us. I could feel everything. My blood splashing into his mouth, hot and metallic and richly sweet, like the earth after a solid rain. My skin under his hand, silky over iron hard muscles, and the rough callouses on my fingertips skipping along his thigh. Our hearts pounding to the same rhythm in steady, simultaneous thumps and his breath chuffing over my neck as my blood seeped into him and was him. The sparse warmth of the light shining down on us out of the bulb in the ceiling. Hell, I could almost feel the air’s individual molecules smacking into us one by one as they swirled between us.
Eric mmmd deep in his throat and clutched my nape, and the thought/emotion spiraled into one, continual litany chanted from him to me, swallowing me whole. Lovelovelove, he thought, and I answered, Godyesbabyplease.
His hips rotated forward and his dick prodded my stomach. I skimmed one hand up his thigh, over his hip, and dug my fingertips into his waist, and closed the other around his thick erection. He was hard under my palm, velvet over steel. Sweet God in Heaven, I wanted him in my mouth, fucking me, wanted him to spurt his hot, salty cum down my throat, wanted to suck him off in the worst way.
He shuddered and his breath hitched, and his fangs eased out of my skin, replaced by his tongue laving the holes he’d made closed. “I’m close,” he whispered hoarsely. “So close.”
“Then kiss me.”
His mouth came down on mine, grinding into me, filled with the quiet desperation of his need. His hips pushed his cock in and out of the circle of my hand, fast and hard, and his breath panted into my mouth. Sweat broke out along his skin and my grip on his hip slipped. Christ, I needed him, needed this. Needed him to know how what was in my heart, what he did to me. Needed to show him everything.
I tightened my hand around his dick and pumped harder, and cupped his ass, pushing him into me. Our bond expanded and white hot lightning shot through me. I gasped against his mouth and arched my back, and he grunted and came, spilling his release across my hand and onto my abdomen. I slowed my strokes, stopping only when he’d gained every bit of pleasure he could from my touch.
He softened the kiss and pulled away, and rested his forehead against mine. “I’ll get a washcloth.”
“Not yet.”
“I’ll be right back, promise.”
He eased away from me and padded into the bathroom, and the feelings spooling between us slowly faded. I rested the back of my head against the wall and struggled to hold back my idiot grin. That was more like it, a whole lot closer to what we’d had before Selena’s attack than anything we’d had since. Now if I could just get Eric to understand that we could do that any time we wanted to, life would be nearly fucking perfect.
I gradually became aware of a slight pressure in my lower abdomen. Aw, fuck, not another potty break. I glanced down at my dick. It was hard as a rock, demanding the kind of attention I’d given it pretty much from puberty on. Just to see what would happen, I palmed it. I could feel it under my hand, the silky skin stretched over a broad expanse, the soft, sensitive head, but there was no sensation of any kind in my dick. I exhaled slowly and let it go. Oh, well. It’d been worth a shot.
Eric reentered the bedroom, wet washcloth in hand, and sat down on the bed beside me. “I wish I could take care of that for you.”
“Yeah, me, too.”
We’d tried a couple of times. Sure, I could feel everything Eric did to me, but I hadn’t been able to come. Kinda took all the fun out of trying. Didn’t stop me from enjoying his fulfillment, though, and it sure as hell didn’t keep me from wishing my dick worked. There was nothing like sinking into him at the end of a long day.
He cleaned his ejaculate off my skin and tossed the washcloth back in the bedroom, then flipped the lights off and helped me stretch out on the bed. “We have a lot of work to do this afternoon.”
Wasn’t that the truth. “Sleep first. You need to rest.”
“You, too.” He curled up beside me, one hand on my stomach. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For taking care of me.”
I covered his hand with mine. “That’s what family does, Eric.”
“Yeah,” he said on a yawn. “I guess it is.”
His breaths evened out and his hand relaxed under mine. I tucked my other hand behind my head and stared up at the ceiling. I loved Eric so much, had for a long time, and he knew it. He knew he was part of me in a way no other man could be. I don’t know why he was stumbling over that now, had no clue how he could’ve forgotten the way my heart was tangled together with his and Gianna’s both.
I closed my eyes and fell asleep, and dreamed of the family we were working so hard to build.
It took us the better part of that afternoon to straighten out our bank accounts and have new debit cards issued, and it took both of us to do it. After, Eric borrowed a cell phone from one of the pets and sequestered himself in our bedroom while I canceled our credit cards and arranged to have new ones mailed to my parents’ house in Crookston.
He came out an hour later and flopped onto the couch beside me. “Why did I ever want to be a pet?”
“Marco was pissed, huh.”
His hazel eyes cut toward me. “Pissed isn’t the word for it. He was ready to run all the way here, if he had to, and told me flat out one of us had to check in by phone at least once a day from now on. Thank God Elizabet talked him down.”
I shrugged. “I told Oriana he’d come after her if she messed with you.”
“Did you really expect her to listen? No, don’t answer that.” He scrubbed both hands over his tense features. “I’ve never heard him so mad before. He actually raised his voice.”
“Seriously? Shit, man.”
“And you think I’m possessive.”
I draped a hand over his thigh and lowered my voice. “It’s your ass. Once a man’s been inside you, he never wants to share.”
One corner of his mouth turned up. “I can’t believe you said that.”
“It’s the God’s honest truth. I can’t wait to be in you again.”
His smile faded and his dark eyebrows furrowed. “I think Kyle might have a point about your legs.”
I rolled my eyes. “Christ, Eric, not that again.”
“Just hear me out.” Eric shifted on the couch, facing me. “I’ve been trying to heal you, but no matter what I do, I can’t fix what’s wrong with you. What if we’ve been approaching this from the wrong angle? I mean, what if it’s not physical at all?”
“Then we’re screwed,” I said flatly. “There’s nothing wrong with my head.”
His expression turned skeptical. “Jase.”
I smacked the cushion hard. “What do you want me to say, that I’m half out of my head? That having Gianna break one the way she did damaged me in a way that can never be fixed?”
“What if that’s true? Don’t you think it’s an avenue we should explore?”
“Forget it. I’ve had enough needles and hospitals and doctors to last me a lifetime.”
He brushed the backs of his fingers over my cheek. “You’re liable to live a very long time, Jase, now that you’re my favorite. I want you whole. I want to feel all of you and I want you to feel all of me, too. Is that so wrong?”
My anger deflated and an aching weariness lingered in its place. “No, baby. I want that, too. That’s what you and Kyle can’t seem to get through your heads.”
“I get it, Jase, really, I do. I just wish you wouldn’t shut out this idea.”
I rolled my shoulders, shrugging off the tiny thread of worry woven into his soft drawl. “I called my mom while you were on the phone with lover boy, told her we’d be there soon.”
Eric’s mouth pressed into a thin line, but he didn’t push me. I knew he wouldn’t forget about it, though. Whethe
r he wanted to admit it or not, his need to have me whole again didn’t stem solely from his feelings for me. When he completed the turn and became a full-fledged vampire, he’d need me to be fully functional. It was part of his end game, which, as far as I could figure out, included our family being so strong, nobody would ever dare challenge us, and it included me standing at his side, not sitting in a wheelchair unable to take care of myself.
My own plans sure as hell had absolutely nothing to do with being chained to that chair forever. No matter what Eric thought, I needed him every bit as much as he needed me. I needed his love, craved his presence. He could deny it all he wanted to, but I knew as sure as the sun rose and set that he needed more from me than I could give right then. Eventually, he’d have to choose another favorite, our individual needs be damned.
Bon walked quietly into the room and sat down on Eric’s other side, and I banged my head against the couch’s back. Maybe I needed to give the whole head-crack hypothesis a careful think over, if not for my sake, then for Eric’s. He deserved that much, didn’t he, after everything we’d been through, after everything he’d done for me. Loving me, binding me to him, sharing his wife with me when he could just as easily have found another favorite. Not Devin, no. Eric’s first male lover hadn’t been mentally strong enough to help Eric control himself, but there were potentially plenty of other men out there who could. I’d simply been in the right place at the right time.
I held his hand as he and Bon discussed the latest rumors drifting out of Oriana’s camp. When we got back to Georgia, I’d talk the whole leg situation over with Eric again. By then, surely I’d be ready to try whatever he suggested with an open mind, and if not, I’d let him smack some sense into me and be goddamn grateful he was willing to stick by me.
Chapter Nine
That night, I coaxed Eric into having sex again. It wasn’t nearly as hard as I’d thought it would be. Maybe he’d missed being with me as much as I’d missed being with him.
I sat against the wall, propped up with a pillow behind my back. Eric knelt with one leg on either side of my thighs as I trailed hot kisses over the slowly fading scars on his torso. They weren’t as jagged and raw as they’d been when we’d escaped Oriana, but they wouldn’t heal as easily as they would if we were at home and he was sipping from Marco.
Elizabet’s favorite was strong, his blood rich. I’d tasted him often enough to know exactly what it meant to have him inside me, his blood, his massive cock. My ass muscles tightened reflexively and desire throbbed through me. Sex with Marco was like a full-on wrestling match. We were fairly even in size and physical strength, and we both liked being the dominant partner, so we usually ended up fighting for it. I hid a smile against Eric’s pectoral. Sometimes I ended up on top and sometimes I didn’t, but the end was always worth it.
Eric wrapped a hard hand around my nape. “It’s times like this I wish you didn’t cut your hair so short.”
I leaned back and caught his gaze. “Random much?”
“If you don’t want me to be jealous,” he said, enunciating the words carefully, “don’t think about another man while we’re having sex.”
I grinned and relaxed against the wall. “It’s just Marco.”
“Yeah, just Marco. How many times has he had his hand down your pants that I don’t know about?”
My grin widened. “So you want me to describe that to you now?”
“Only if you want me to kill him.”
“That’d be something, seeing as how he outweighs you by about seventy-five pounds and has a good eight or ten inches of reach on you.”
Eric’s eyes narrowed into hotly glowing slits. “I don’t have to touch him to hurt him.”
I snorted. “Yeah, ‘cause that worked so well with Fen.”
“Don’t remind me.” He tugged my head closer to his throat. “You need to feed.”
“Turn around. Let me take you from behind.”
“Oh, God,” he murmured.
He shifted around and straddled my thighs, his back to my chest. I skimmed my hands over the long muscles of his back and traced my fingertips along the remnants of Fen’s handiwork. These scars were smooth, long, and deeply cut. They’d take a lot more time to heal than the ones on his torso would. Eric would need blood, lots of blood, and we hadn’t exactly prepared for that when we’d made plans to visit my family. Normally, we only needed a sip or two each every week, to renew our bond if we were feeding on each other or to renew our changing vampiric physiology if we were feeding on other pets. A sip or two wouldn’t be enough to help him finish healing, especially if he only had me to feed from.
I drew him back against my chest and cradled his head in the crook of my shoulder and neck. “Maybe we should cut our visit here short and go on home.”
“You’re just trying to wiggle out of introducing me to your parents.”
Yeah, I hadn’t exactly figured out how to explain him to them yet. I’d figured the rings would be a dead giveaway, but now that they were gone, I didn’t have the foggiest idea how to ease the conversation around to the exact nature of our relationship. “I’m worried my dad will flip out.”
“He might.”
“He could kick us out.”
“If he does, we’ll catch the first flight home and mend fences later, once Gianna’s awake and Willow is born.” Eric reached back and cupped my cheek with one hand, soothing me the way he always did. “Nobody can resist a baby.”
“It’d work better if she were mine.”
“It’ll work the same, especially when they figure out Willow belongs to both of us.”
Our family, mine and his and Gianna’s. “Eric, baby, how can you doubt my feelings for you when you say things like that?”
I felt his gentle smile all the way to my lifeless toes. “Because I’m human.”
“Only when you wanna be.” I tilted his head to the side and nuzzled his throat. “We need to renew our bond.”
He hissed in a breath and his muscles tensed under my hands. “You say the sweetest things.”
I laughed softly and slid my fingers up and down his inner thighs, teasing him with feather light touches. He was soft there, tender, his skin smooth over firm muscles. I loved feeling him, just feeling him. Don’t know why he didn’t get that. He reached for me often enough, seeking out my gaze when we were in a crowd, pinging our bond just to let me know he was thinking about me. He was thoughtful like that, sweet. How could I not care about him?
That wasn’t the right question, though. Eric had his flaws, sure, but underneath everything, he was a good man, the best I’d ever known. I was head over heels for him. Maybe I needed to spend more time showing him how much I loved him.
No time like the present.
I cupped his balls in one hand, massaging them gently, and circled the thumb and middle finger of my other hand around the base of his erection. “How’s this?”
“Heavenly. Seriously, Jase. I’m floating right now.”
I stroked him from balls to tip and back again, up and down in a steady, insistent rhythm. “I’ll send you higher.”
“Promises, promises.” His head rolled along my shoulder and his breath shuddered out of him. “You’re so good at this.”
“It’s called practice.”
“I was never this good.”
His voice held an edge of doubt. I couldn’t resist poking at him, just enough to coax him out of a potential funk. “Hey, man, it’s not my fault you played with solar system models as a kid instead of your dick.”
He snorted out a laugh. “God, Jase. I know how to masturbate.”
“Yeah? Maybe I should make you prove that.”
“Next time. Take my throat.”
“Not yet.” I sucked his earlobe into my mouth, blew a hot breath across his ear. “My dick feels so good under your ass.”
“It’s mutual.” He wiggled a little, teasing me. “Don’t you think it’s odd that you can feel me when you can’t feel anything else?”
“It’s a gift horse, baby. I try not to look at it too close.”
“Jase…”
No way was I getting into a deep discussion about the lack of feeling in the lower half of my body in the middle of sex. I deliberately tightened my grip on his dick and twisted my palm over its head, pushing him another inch higher.
He sucked in a breath. “You manipulative son of a bitch.”
I choked out a laugh. “Christ, Eric. Tell me how you really feel.”
“There are no words,” he said slowly. “When you can feel again, I’m chaining you to a bed and doing this to you for hours.”
“Anything you want, baby,” I murmured, and meant it. He could do anything he wanted to me. Hell, he could do it now. I was happy to indulge his every sexual whim. “Wait ‘til we get to my parents’ house and I bring out the toys. I’m gonna play with your ass so hard, you won’t be able to sit down.”
He moaned and his hands clamped down on my forearms. “Take my throat, Jase. Please God, take my throat.”
“Not yet.”
He arched against me, straining into my touch, and his mind crept toward mine along our bond. I scraped my fangs over his throat, flicked my tongue out, tasting him. Mmm. Butterscotch, moonlight, a hint of salt. I licked him again, unable to resist the unique flavor of his skin, the rich texture, the hitching gasps of his breath, and swallowed him down, absorbing his goodness.
“That’s it, baby,” I said. “Let go for me.”
The back of his head pressed into my shoulder. Our bond stretched and pulsed, and he and I became we. My/our hand slid over his/our dick, stroking it gently, and heat whipped through his/our blood, boiling into molten need.
I sucked in a breath, barely able to distinguish myself from we. Christ, that was good, so good to feel him, so good to be within him, of him, indistinct and separate all at once.
I rested my fangs over his pulse and pushed, breaking his skin, and his essence oozed into my mouth. If his skin was butterscotch and moonlight, his blood was coppery goodness, deep and sweet, exactly like him. I fed the way he felt spilling across my tongue into we, and his hips jerked forward, shoving his dick into my hands.
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