by Erin Osborne
Nodding to the guys, I head into the kitchen and grab a few beers out of the fridge. I fill them in on what’s going on. The rest of the night, I’m going to be trying to get Riley to go to sleep so that we can get up early in the morning and start getting everything that the baby is going to need. I’m sure we’re about to go overboard, but that’s okay. It’s our first time buying anything for Shelby and she deserves to be spoiled by her mom.
“So, when are you leavin’?” Trojan asks me, leaning against the counter and swallowing some beer.
“I think we’re leavin’ either tomorrow night or first thing the next mornin’. I’m gonna need you two to step up for me,” I tell them, knowing before they respond that I don’t need to say a word to them. They’ll step up regardless. “I’m gonna take Steel with us. Slim is bringin’ Boy Scout and Killer with him.”
“We got your back, Prez,” Crash tells us, peeking over his shoulder at Darcy. “She’s goin’ to want to help out too. Darcy will do whatever Riley needs help with.”
“I know. And we really appreciate it. But, she needs to worry about continuin’ to heal and the baby you guys are goin’ to be havin’,” I tell them, making sure to let them know we want her help but we understand that she is still healing from her ex kidnapping her. Add on a pregnancy and we don’t want her to overdo anything.
“She’s still goin’ to help. We make sure that she rests as often as possible, but Darcy keeps remindin’ us that she’s pregnant and not sufferin’ from some life-threatening illness,” Trojan tells me, laughing a little at his picture of Darcy getting pissed off at the two of them. I can only imagine what she actually says and does to these two. She has no problem getting riled up and giving them a piece of her mind when she needs to.
“Let’s go see what those two are plannin’, yeah?” I ask as we finish our beers and make our way to where the girls are sitting.
For the next hour or so we spend time talking about what needs to be done and what we have to get in the house for Shelby to come home. I tell them all what Anderson said and the steps that we’re taking to make sure that we get the paternity test done. Instead of doing it here, Riley wants to wait until we get to Whitney Glen where Shelby is. Before they leave, we make plans to go shopping first thing in the morning. Darcy is going to close the salon so that she can help us out. There were only two appointments and one of them was Wilma. Once she knows what’s going on, she’ll reschedule. Hell, she’ll probably come along on the shopping trip.
“We got a busy day tomorrow, beautiful. Let’s head up to bed so we can get an early start. I know you’re goin’ to stay up until her room is perfect,” I tell Riley, standing up and reaching out for her hand.
Placing her smaller hand in mine, we make our way up the stairs. I can see the exhaustion taking its toll on her already and we haven’t even gotten started doing anything. We rush through our nightly routine before climbing into bed and letting sleep claim us both.
Chapter Four
Riley
TODAY IS ALMOST OVER WITH AND I’m more exhausted than I’ve ever been in my entire life. We got up first thing, as promised by Gage, and got ready to head out to buy everything that Shelby is going to need here. My mind has been spinning over everything I need to get her since I saw her little angelic face on Gage’s phone. But, I’ll sacrifice everything to get what she needs to come home. Where she belongs.
I can’t believe that Gage actually found my daughter. In some ways, it hasn’t really sunk in that she’ll be home soon. That I’ll get to hold her in my arms and kiss her goodnight on a daily basis. I’ll finally be a mom to my little girl instead of wondering where she is, if she’s being taken care of, and the rest of the thoughts that play on a constant loop in my head. I can’t wait to see her, but I dread it all at the same time. The only reason for my dread is not knowing the lady that has her and if she’s going to fight me for Shelby. Is this woman going to try to keep my daughter from me? Will she run and hide with her?
Once we met up with Wilma, Darcy, Crash, and Trojan we headed to the first store of the day. It’s one of those chain stores that you can find everything in. Wilma takes charge and leads us around the store. Crash, Trojan, and Gage grab an employee to follow us for the bigger items we’ll need. The rest we’ll place in carts that all of us are pushing. At the rate we’re going, we’ll have everything in one trip. I’m not looking forward to the total, but I’ll spend every single penny available to me for my daughter.
We head toward the baby section and Wilma starts throwing things in the carts. She whirls around the clothing first and piles everything from pajamas to outfits in there. There’s little dresses which the guys have a complete heart attack about. If she’s not wearing the diaper covers that go with the dresses, then they aren’t being purchased. Cavemen Neanderthals at their best right now!
“You listen to me,” Wilma starts, “I’ll make sure that the diaper covers are in there too. Put your dicks away and let us do our thing. Go shop for men things or shut the hell up!”
The men, being firmly chastised, shut up and proceed to follow us around the department instead of slinking away at the first chance they get. Wilma gave them the perfect opening and they’re still sticking with us. I’m honestly impressed. But, I can’t focus on them right now. I’ll laugh about them pouting later on.
Turning her attention back to the task at hand, she grabs three different bedding sets. One is all pink and soft, another one is princess themed, and the last one is in soft blues, yellows, and greens. She moves on to the plates and silverware for toddlers/babies and throws a bunch of those in the cart. There’s sippy cups and a few bottles just in case thrown in there too. Her cart is already full, so she passes that one off to one of the guys and grabs their empty cart. Grabbing monitors and every other thing we can think of to get. Darcy and I watch in fascination while we spend time looking at things every once in a while. Wilma has already filled three of the five carts in a matter of minutes and I don’t know whether to be impressed with her shopping skills or terrified that I’m more unprepared than I ever realized.
“You guys getting tired yet?” Wilma asks, turning to look at us as we make our way to the grocery section of the store.
“Not even close. Though I can’t say the same for Darcy over here,” I respond, looking at my pregnant friend. “Are you sure we need all this stuff right now?”
“I’m okay. I’ll definitely need a nap when we’re done here. And some food,” she tells us, looking between us and the shelves lined with food in front of us.
“Yes, you’re going to need all this stuff. And probably more. We’re almost done. Why don’t you and Gage go pick out a crib, dresser, and a rocking chair. You’re definitely going to need one of those,” Wild Wilma, as I’ve taken to call her today, tells me while I turn to see Gage already reaching for my hand to do Wilma’s bidding. “I’m going to see what food over here we can get for her before heading back to the baby section to look at the baby food and toddler dinners. It’s hard because we don’t know what she’s eating yet.”
“She’s kind of scary,” he murmurs to me as we begin to walk back to the baby section.
I laugh at the truth of his statement. On the other hand, we probably wouldn’t have gotten almost everything we need already if she wasn’t with us. Wilma has made it so we really only have to shop here and then go home and set everything up before leaving in the morning. Hell, I think Slim and his men will beat us back to our house at this rate. We’re going to have to feed Darcy soon and I’m not going to make her wait for that to happen. Darcy can get kind of crabby when she’s hungry these days.
We take our time and look over all the different cribs that are in the store. I fall in love with a dark colored set that has the crib, dresser, and matching rocking chair. Gage can see me practically salivating over the set and tells the stock boy, who looks scared to death, to take it up front so it’s ready when we want to check out. I’m sure that the kid is ready to piss hi
mself as he pulls his walkie talkie out to get some help loading it onto the cart.
As Gage and I push our carts to go in search of the rest of our crew, I spot some wall decorations and stop to glance through them. I pick out one set that has princesses on it and a few stars and hearts. Gage stands back and lets me have this moment to pick out what I want to decorate my daughter’s room with. There’s also one set that has a saying and I grab that one too. It says, ‘Always reach for the stars.’ I want nothing more for Shelby than for her to grow up healthy, strong, full of love, and knowing that I’ll have her back no matter what she chooses to do in her life.
Finally deciding that we have more than enough stuff for Shelby’s room right now, we literally run into the rest of our group. Wilma is basically clearing out any food that she thinks I’ll need to have on hand. I pause when she asks me one question and unbridled fear runs through my body at the thought that I don’t know the answer.
“Do you know if she has any allergies?” she asks, pausing in her quest to make sure my daughter has enough food for a year.
Looking between everyone there, feeling like they’re going to judge me, I respond. “I don’t know. I haven’t seen her since she was taken from me at the hospital.”
“No worries. You can ask whoever has her when you get there and then we’ll go through the food we’ve gotten for her to make sure it’s not in any of it,” Wilma tells me, trying to ease the panic racing through my body. “I think we have enough for now. Why don’t we cash out, so we can get preggo here fed so she can go home and nap?”
We all agree and laugh at the drool practically pouring from Darcy’s mouth at the thought of food in the next little while. As we stand in line to cash out, I see other customers looking at us like we’re crazy buying as much as we are. I’m sure that Wilma could’ve kept shopping and had no problem with filling a hundred more carts. Thankfully, it hasn’t come to that and I’ll get whatever else she needs as we go.
I walk to the front of the register we’re at so that I can look at everything we bought again. One cart has nothing but diapers, pull-ups, wipes, ointments and creams for diaper rashes, lotion, baby wash, some baby Tylenol, and a training toilet. The next cart is full of clothes, blankets, onesies, pajamas, and the little dresses (with little diaper covers). The next cart is nothing but bedding, a night light and musical toy that shines stars on the ceiling. There’s a few extra sheets in there in case of any accidents. Cart number four is everything toy related that an almost one-year-old could need. There are learning toys, stuffed animals, building blocks, dolls, and toys that she can sit in with different activities around the top. The fifth cart is simply food and dishes for her. Plus, we have the cart the stock boy is standing with.
At this point, I’m about to have a panic attack with the amount of money I’m sure this is going to total. However, I don’t get to see a total because Wilma distracts me while Gage pays for everything. It’s almost like they had this planned so that I couldn’t argue with him about it since we had people with us. Guess we’ll have to have this out when they all head their separate ways in a few minutes.
Walking out to the SUV with everything in tow, I match my steps to Gage’s so that he knows how pissed off I am right now. “You know I would’ve paid for everything. I don’t need you to buy everything for me.”
“I know this. But, it’s about time someone takes care of you. I’m goin’ to be that man for you and your daughter. This shit had to be done and I know you were savin’ money to do it yourself, but it’s still more than what you had. So, let me do this for you. For bringin’ her home to you,” he tells me, not even caring that I’m pissed as hell at him right now. “Shadow is meetin’ us at the house to help get everythin’ inside. Crash and Trojan said they’re stoppin’ for food and makin’ their way over too.”
“You know I’m followin’ you there,” Wild Wilma tells us, eavesdropping on our conversation. “I’ll help you wash all the bedding and clothing. It’s going to seem like a lot, but we’ll get it done so you can get some rest before leaving to get your girl in the morning.”
My heart fills to capacity at the thought that Wilma is going to help me. Help us. She doesn’t need to and yet she’s taking time out of her day to be with us. I’m grateful and won’t ever be able to tell any of them how truly thankful I am for all the help they’re giving me. Especially Darcy.
Once the SUV is loaded, we all pile in our vehicles and make our way to the house I’ve been sharing with Gage. Shadow is waiting out front, lounging on his bike and smoking. As soon as he sees us pulling up, he gets rid of the cigarette and I see him pop a mint in his mouth. Gage gets out and tells him where we want everything to go and hands him the key to the house. Within a matter of minutes, it seems that the SUV is unloaded, and everything is inside. The furniture all got taken upstairs while the bags of everything else got left in the living room so that I can go through it and start washing everything. I had no clue that I was supposed to wash everything before it got used. These are the things I’m definitely going to fuck up on. For now, I’ll stay down here and let the men get to work building things.
While I’m taking tags off and opening packages, Darcy and Wilma keep me company, but continue to stuff their faces while I nibble here and there. I was starving at the store, but now it seems like the more real this becomes, the more my nerves ratchet up and I don’t want to do anything I need to do. Instead, I want to avoid the situation and come back to reality when she’s finally here. That can’t happen though, so I need to get my shit together. Fast.
“Are you okay?” Darcy asks me, leaning back into the couch and getting comfortable.
“No. But, I can’t dwell on everything running through my mind right now. I have to keep moving and get this done. So, I’m going to run this load to the washer and get started so we’re not up all night,” I answer, trying to not let them see how bothered I am right now.
I’ll wait until later when I can be alone to have a break down. For now, I will tamp that down and keep moving so I don’t have time to think or react to anything. I know that Gage won’t let me go through this alone, but maybe I need to. Maybe he should move back to the clubhouse and get on with his life. A life that doesn’t include me because I can’t be what he needs. At this point, I don’t even know how I’m going to be a good mom to Shelby, but I’m going to do the best job I can.
Once I manage to fill the washer with a load of nothing but little clothes, I make my way back out so that I can get the bedding ready to go in next. We should probably have her bed ready when we get back, but I know we’re going to have to take a bag with us for the trip home. Hell, I should probably pack a few outfits in case there’s any accidents or anything. I’m going to need one whole bag just for her. Shit! We never picked a car seat up for her. What are we going to do about that?
Before I can go into full panic mode, Gage appears by my side. He wraps his arms around me and starts whispering in my ear that everything is going to be okay. We’ll make sure to get everything ready and leave when we can. I bring up the fact that we forgot a car seat and he tells me that we’ll get one when we get to her. We want to make sure that we get one that is appropriate for her, so we’ll wait to see her. He then tells me that maybe we could ask the lady that has my daughter what she’s been using so we can get a similar one. That way there’s not another thing that she’s going to have changed in her short little life.
Gage
Everyone has just left, and Riley and I are working on putting the finishing touches on Shelby’s room. She’s bringing up the clothes that she’s been washing to put away along with the ones she’s leaving out so that we have things to take with us. Riley is a nervous wreck and I’m waiting for her to blow. I thought she was going to earlier when she was in the laundry room, but I got her calmed down and told her we would get the car seat when we saw Shelby. There’s no point in buying the wrong one for her.
“Beautiful, you okay?” I ask, watching her
try to get the wall decorations put up where she wants them.
“Yeah. No. I don’t know at this point,” she responds, stepping back to look at her work. “Gage, I can’t do this. I’m not going to be any good as a mom. Look at everything we had to buy for her when I should’ve been buying things all along. Then, I had no clue we had to wash everything first. Plus, I forgot about buying a car seat. What kind of mother does that make me?”
“You’re goin’ to be an amazin’ mom. There was no point in buyin’ things since the beginnin’ because it would’ve been a waste of money. Those things wouldn’t be the things that Shelby needs now. And we’ll learn as we go. I’m not leavin’ you to do this alone. I’ll be by your side every day. And the rest of the club will have your back too,” I tell her, stopping her thoughts before they begin. I know where her mind is right now and it’s not going to happen. She’s not going to push me away.
“I’m not what you need. I was actually going to mention to you that I think you should move back to the clubhouse when we get back. I’m going to be busy with my daughter and the salon. There’s going to be no time for you, to start exploring whatever connection you think we have or whatever. So, I think that’s the best thing to do,” she tells me, placing her hands on her hips and trying to look over my shoulder so she looks like she’s looking at me, but in reality, she’s looking everywhere else.
“Not gonna happen beautiful. Where you two are, I am. You’re goin’ to need help and I’m goin’ to be here to give it to you,” I tell her, walking up behind her and wrapping my arms around her. I place a few little kisses along the back of her neck and feel her body tremble in my arms. “We’ll spend the time together that we need to and everythin’ will work out the way I want it to.”