by K. E. Saxon
She found Lady Maclean in the small garden outside the back door to the kitchen directing a young maid on which herbs to cut. “Good morn, Grandmother Maclean. How fare you?” The lady looked a bit pale to her.
Lady Maclean gave her new granddaughter a bright smile and replied, “I’m well, my dear.”
Appeased for the moment, Maryn nodded. She turned and took a tunic from one of the hooks next to the door and put it on over her gown. She spent the remainder of the morn in the garden, helping to weed the beds and gather the herbs and vegetables that Lady Maclean requested. Later, as they walked towards the door to the kitchen, Maryn heard a familiar neighing sound coming from the stables.
Hastily removing the tunic, she said to Lady Maclean, “I should check on my mare. I shall return shortly.” Then she grabbed a carrot off of the top of one of the baskets being carried into the kitchen before dashing in the direction of the stables.
She’d barely made it past the garden wall when she saw Daniel being dragged by the elbow toward the entrance to the tower larder by the lady Jesslyn. They were laughing at some private jest, unaware of their audience.
After a moment of inner debate, Maryn followed the two. She entered the dark, cool interior and realized immediately that they were not in the chamber. Then, hearing a distant feminine laugh coming from the floor above, she moved toward the stair. Her feet were leaden as she climbed each dusty, cold step and profound dread filled her heart. With jagged thoughts, she continued on her course, silently praying that her fears were groundless.
*
“Are you certain that you do not wish for me to return this to you, Daniel?” Jesslyn said softly, reverently fingering the ruby stone as she gazed down on it. “This was your mother’s ring, was it not? Should you not give it to your wife now?”
Unsure whether to take the ring back or allow his friend to keep it, Daniel did not answer immediately. At last, he shook his head and said, “Nay, I gave that to you when we became betrothed and I see no reason for it not to remain in your possession.” Besides which, his bride would surely resent receiving a ring that he’d originally bestowed upon Jesslyn. Mayhap he was making a mistake, but ‘twas truth that whatever decision he made, ‘twould no doubt be the wrong one where Maryn was concerned.
She shrugged. “I’ve never owned anything so beautiful. Thank you for letting me keep it.”
“Think of it as recompense for the broken betrothal.”
“And for having to sell myself to the highest bidder for the sake of my son, in the wake of that break,” Jesslyn said, resignation and despair clear in her tone.
Daniel stepped up to her, lifting his hands to her shoulders. “There’s little rush, I can give you more time to adjust, if ‘tis what you need. And when the time comes, I will find you a good match. I give you my word.”
“You were the best match, for you are my friend.” Her eyes sparked with anger. “I cannot believe your wife! If she wants you so badly, why will she not do her duty and give you her body? I never conceived of not allowing you to bed me, even though I still pine for Graeme.”
He sighed. “I know, ‘tis only that—”
Jesslyn dove at him and planted a wet, hard kiss on his lips.
*
Maryn walked through the doorway and came to an abrupt standstill, her eyes riveted on the lovers. The carrot dropped from her nerveless hand and bounced on the floor.
Daniel thrust Jesslyn away and spun around, then froze. “Sweetheart, this is not as it seems.”
Maryn looked past Daniel and saw the guilty look on the other woman’s countenance and it instantly filled her with a red-hot desire to slap it right off of her too-lovely face and into the next borough. Instead, she turned on her heel and darted down the stairs.
“Maryn, wait!” she heard her husband call out. She doubled her pace.
In the larder chamber, she tripped on the doorjamb and nearly fell face first in the dust just outside the door, but naught would stop her flight. Without cognizant thought, she sped toward the stables.
Her hands shaking, she unlatched the gate to Fia’s stall and fled to the back of it. Falling to the ground, she allowed the tears she’d held in check to flow.
*
Jesslyn seized Daniel’s arm as he tried to run after Maryn. “I’m so sorry, Daniel! I’ll beg her forgiveness and explain everything to her.”
“I will speak to you later. Release my arm. Now!” Daniel roughly pulled out of her grasp and flew through the door. As he ran down the stairs, he prayed he was not too late to see the direction in which Maryn was headed. He felt like the idiot she had accused him of being.
When he came through the larder doorway into the courtyard and saw his distraught bride running in the direction of the stables, he slowed his pace, believing it best to give her time to calm down before approaching her to explain what she’d seen—tho’ he had little understanding himself of the reason behind his friend’s tempestuous embrace.
As he approached and heard the sound of wrenching sobs coming from the back of Fia’s stall, he rushed inside. “Maryn, ‘tis not as you believe, I give you my oath,” he said, softly, brokenly, as he slowly approached the prone figure. Kneeling down, he reached out and took her in his arms and held her tight against him.
She would not allow the embrace. In an enraged attempt to struggle out of his hold, she beat her fists against his chest. “Let go of me!”
Tho’ it tore at his insides, he released her, fearing that she would hurt herself in her endeavor to be free of him otherwise.
Falling against the side of the stall, she covered her face with her hands. “Leave me be, Daniel! I cannot bear to look upon you!”
His heart twisted in his chest. “Jesslyn kissed me, not the other way ‘round. I was so stunned that it took a moment for me to gather my wits. I was about to pull away from her when you came through the door.”
She drew her hands from her face and with venom in her voice said, “You expect that I should believe your lies yet again?”
“’Tis no lie, I—”
“—Not this time, I shall not. For I have seen the proof of your true desires. You were holding her as she brazenly ground herself against you—and you were kissing her, the same way you kiss me!” She dropped her forehead to her knees and wrapped her arms around them.
“Nay, ‘twas not I who kissed, but she. ‘Twas…’twas a sudden impulse on her part, I believe—I hope.” He could not bring himself to reveal the matter of the betrothal ring. Not now. ‘Twould surely only serve to fan the flames of her hurt and anger. “In truth, I know not why she did such.”
Maryn would not allow herself to believe him, not again—‘twas a matter of her own survival, for her heart could bear no more sorrow. “Why will you not be honest with me for once?” she asked softly, slowly lifting her head to look directly into his eyes. “Just admit that you love her and we shall be done with this farce for good.”
“Nay, I do not—”
“Oh, just go away!” She covered her face with her hands and her shoulders quaked with the force of her silent tears.
With each passing moment, it became clearer to him the terrible error he’d made in trivializing his bride’s worries about Jesslyn. Rubbing the base of his palm against the ache in his heart and watching his anguished bride as she wept and rocked back and forth, a sense of powerlessness besieged him.
Worried that she would make herself ill if she did not stop crying soon, Daniel tried once more for her forgiveness and belief in him. His voice was gentle when he said, “I have not lied to you. I know that my words will not be enough to convince you and, if you will only give me time, I promise that I shall prove my devotion to you, and to our marriage.”
She slid her hands away from her face and looked at him. “And what of Jesslyn?” she asked harshly. “Will you now repudiate her?”
He sighed and scrubbed his palm across the back of his neck. “Nay, I cannot—”
She turned away.
He leaned toward her then. “I am honor-bound to take care of Jesslyn and her son,” he rushed to remind her, “at least until she is well-wedded. But I will do everything in my power to find a husband for her as quickly as possible. I understand the urgency in it now. She will not be a problem to us any longer, I swear this to you.”
She looked at him and shook her head, then turned from him once more.
Afraid to push her any further and knowing he must prove his loyalty to her, Daniel silently rose to his feet and departed the stables, making his way toward the keep. In time, she would see that he had spoken the truth. He’d do all that was necessary to gain her trust.
*
His grandmother was seated by the hearth in the great hall when Daniel arrived. “Come and sit with me awhile. I would like to have a privy word with you regarding your wife.”
Instantly alert, Daniel somewhat reluctantly settled himself on the stool next to the older woman. Had she noticed the strained relations between himself and Maryn, then? He prayed not. For he could not bring himself to reveal to his grandparent the somewhat shameful fact that he had yet to bed his bride.
“What is your relationship to this Jesslyn woman?” she asked him as soon as he had settled on a stool next to her. “Maryn has assured me that you are not having a physically intimate relationship with the widow, though the woman certainly seems a bit too attached to you, and that worries me. And I can see that it worries your wife, as well.”
“Jesslyn is my friend and she and her son are my responsibility until I can find a suitable husband for her. Actually, I could use your help in that regard.”
His grandmother gave him a joyful smile. “I must say I’m relieved by your words. And I shall be most pleased to consider possible candidates for the widow’s hand. We must also look at each man’s suitability to be a father to Alleck.”
*
A while later, Daniel saw Maryn come in and go up the stairs to their bedchamber, but decided against speaking to her again until morn. She’d no doubt spurn him again, and frankly, if he was going to have to plead with her, he’d rather do it after getting some sleep. The day had turned into a long and emotionally draining one. He hoped that with the new day, she’d soften and accept his pledge of troth. He decided he would end his day as well and bent down to kiss his grandmother on the cheek, wishing her a good-night.
*
Maryn entered the bedchamber and made her way over to her chest of belongings. She stood staring down at it, unseeing, for a moment, her mind still in turmoil. Finally, she bent down and lifted the lid. She saw her mother’s wedding chemise and was surprised when she burst into tears once more.
As she wept, she caressed the girdle around her waist which had been the source of such hope for her that first morn after her marriage. Unclasping it, she dropped it on top of the chemise and quickly closed the lid, unable to bear looking at the proof of all her crushed dreams for one moment longer.
*
The pre-dawn air was crisp as Maryn dashed across the courtyard toward the stables the next morn. Already chilled with nerves, she shivered from the added cold. Tho’ many of the servants were up and about their duties, she’d managed to elude their notice thus far. She could not bear to face Daniel again, so she’d decided to leave without his knowledge and then, once she’d explained the situation to her father, request that he speak to Daniel about her plans.
On silent feet, she entered the stables and released the breath she’d been holding in a slow stream. It seemed fortune remained with her, for the stablemen were still abed. That left only the gatekeeper for her to deal with.
As noiselessly as possible, she saddled and bridled her mare, then silently walked her out of the stables. Once she was several yards away, she mounted Fia and moved toward the gatehouse.
“Good morn to you, Gatekeeper,” she said with good cheer. “I’ve a hankering for mushrooms and the cook told me there were plenty to be had in the nearby forest.”
“Aye, and after the cloud burst we had this night past, they are sure to be easy to find. But, ‘tis a bit dark for the hunt; you should wait ‘til after sunrise.”
She’d anticipated the guard’s hesitation and had come up with a viable reason for leaving before daylight. “I’m first for the village to meet the widow and her son. They’ll be going with me as well. Will you open the gate?”
“Aye, m’lady,” he replied, doing as she requested.
“My thanks,” Maryn said, and quickly departed, fearing she’d be discovered any moment.
She’d gone quite a distance down the path leading to the village before she made a sharp turn in the direction of her father’s holding. Being very familiar with the route she would take between the two properties, having traveled it so often, she expected to arrive by mid-morn. Tho’ she’d not traveled the distance in the dark before. She scanned a nervous gaze into the black void all about her. Would the sun never rise? And the terrain was giving her some trouble. ‘Twas still wet and a bit slick from rain, which forced her to keep Fia at a slow gait.
The eery call of a hoot owl perched somewhere off in the distance made her jump. With shaky hands, she searched the secret lining of her cloak. Aye, her dirk was there. She sighed in disgust. And why would it not be? She’d only just placed it there less than an hour past. Tamping down on her nerves, she forced her thoughts back to navigating the terrain.
*
Daniel woke feeling a bit groggy from the restless night he’d spent. His mind had allowed him no rest, plaguing him these past dark hours with thoughts of Maryn and his inability to convince her of his innocence. The notion that something precious had been irreparably damaged filled him with dread. His only hope was that she had slept better than he, and would somehow be more amenable to hearing him out this morn.
He hurriedly dressed and headed down to the great hall in the hope that she would be breaking her fast. When he did not find her, he hailed a servant to ask if she’d been down yet. The servant had not seen her and Daniel assumed Maryn must still be abed. He decided to allow her her rest and to speak with her later, after he’d conducted his training lessons.
Daniel did not learn of Maryn’s mushroom hunting expedition until he went looking for her again a few hours later. When he could not find her in the main keep, he went to the stables thinking she might be visiting her mare, as she so often was wont to do. The animal was missing from its stall.
His heart leaping out of his chest, Daniel rushed to the gatehouse. “My bride’s mare is missing, has she left the keep?” he asked the guard on duty.
“Aye, Laird. She left before dawn. She said she was going to hunt mushrooms with the flaxen-haired widow and her lad.”
Knowing she’d lied about going with Jesslyn, Daniel assumed she’d gone to the wood by herself and grew even more alarmed. An image of Maryn being attacked by a wild boar entered his mind and his palms grew damp. Anxious to find her, he retrieved his mount and bolted through the open gate of the fortress. No matter the hurt feelings of this day past, he’d be giving her a blistering lecture on safety once he found her.
After an hour of searching the wooded area to no avail, he finally accepted that she had gone much further astray. She had forsaken him, and their marriage.
Daniel’s first reaction was one of fury. Maryn had not even given him a chance to prove his innocence. He should have forced another confrontation the night before when he had had the chance. It might not have solved their problems, but he was sure he would have discovered her plans.
And he knew where she had gone. Daniel could just imagine what Laird Donald would say when she told him her interpretation of the events leading up to her flight. Her father would come with his sword drawn, intending to castrate him. Or worse, send a petition for annulment without delay.
At the thought, Daniel slumped in his saddle, weary and defeated. If Maryn wanted an annulment, and Laird Donald wanted to obtain one for her, then Daniel would not stand in their way. He would fight h
er lack of faith in him no longer. His only wish now was that he’d more diligently guarded his heart.
*
“But Papa, you do not understand! They were kissing. With their tongues!” Maryn said, pacing the floor in agitation.
“Aye, daughter, I do understand,” her father replied, calmly watching her perambulations from his vantage point on a stool by the hearth. “I understand that you believe what you saw was one thing, whilst your husband insists ‘twas another. Do you not think you gave up too easily, lass?”
“Nay! I tried and tried. I gave him so many chances to prove his loyalty to me, but each time he failed!” Turning, she said resolutely, “I want an annulment. Daniel has an attachment to Jesslyn MacCreary; he should wed her as he originally planned.” Rushing over to her father’s stool, she sat down next to him and said, “Papa, will you go to Daniel and explain how things must be? I cannot face him again.”
Laird Donald sighed. His daughter was too distraught to reason with at this point, and he wanted to see how his son-in-law fared in any case. “Aye, I shall speak to him. Will tomorrow be soon enough?”
Maryn gave him a sad smile. “Aye, Papa, tomorrow will be fine.”
*
After a time, Daniel’s worry for Maryn’s safety overrode his feelings of rejection and it impelled him to follow the trail to her father’s holding. He needed to make certain she had arrived unharmed. Where the dangers in the Maclean wood were from wild boar or wolf attack, the dangers present in the open countryside of the Highlands were of the human strain. His mind reeled with the number and variety of horrors that a roving band might visit upon an unescorted lady. Flash memories of the sexual violence he’d come upon that day of the massacre all those years ago burned in his mind, making his stomach lurch and his heart beat a rapid tattoo. Willfully, he tamped those memories, those feelings, down deep once more. He hurriedly gathered a few soldiers together to accompany him on his journey, saying only that he had a message he wanted to deliver personally to Laird Donald.