by Amy Andrews
Jess didn’t dare breathe at the intensity of his gaze. Something had really affected him tonight. This conversation was a far cry from the light and flirty Adam she’d known these last weeks.
Sincerity blazed from the gold flecks in his eyes. ‘I know.’ And she did know.
Adam held her gaze. ‘I know I have a reputation for playing the field but I’m not like that. I’m not like him.’
Jess didn’t blink. ‘I know.’
He waited a beat. Shifted his gaze to their joined hands. ‘Caroline thought I was.’
Jess felt her heart leap in her chest. Adam’s voice was ominously quiet and his heart thundered beneath her palm. ‘Caroline thought you were like your father?’
Adam shifted restlessly against the mattress. ‘Her father was very similar to mine. Except, of course, her mother had the good sense to divorce him when Caroline was fourteen. She was scared that nature and nurture would win in the end. She didn’t want to risk it.’
Jess didn’t know what to say.
Stupid cow didn’t seem appropriate right at the moment.
She took a breath, trying to see it from Caroline’s point of view. Not everybody was blessed with two parents who loved and respected each other, like she was. So maybe through the lens of an angst-ridden childhood Caroline’s logic made sense.
But.
Her ingrained fears had obviously hurt him.
And it was clear to Jess that his ex-fiancée just hadn’t known him at all.
‘She was a fool.’ If she had his love, his ring, his declaration of intent, she would never squander it.
Adam gave a half-smile. ‘You’ve never met him.’
Jess felt the jab right in the softest part of her heart. She knew he hadn’t meant it to mean anything but she felt his lack of the dinner invitation all over again.
She took a breath and pushed it aside. He needed her tonight. This wasn’t about her. ‘I know,’ she said, freeing her hand and tapping her chest. ‘I know in here.’
He smiled at her gorgeous, earnest, open face. Why? Why did she, who’d been with him for a matter of weeks, know and Caroline, who had been with him for nearly two years, hadn’t?
‘He didn’t like her…Caroline. He always felt I could do better than a teacher. He was…polite but distant with her.’ His lips twisted. ‘Not so reserved with me.’
Adam felt like he’d spent the entire eighteen months they had been together being a buffer between his fiancée and his father. Defending her. Championing their love. Caroline had liked his mother so they’d persevered for her sake but it hadn’t been easy.
Jess couldn’t imagine Adam being with someone who wasn’t gorgeous and witty and wise, no matter what she did, and as jealous as she was of the only woman who had ever claimed his heart, she also felt strangely protective. Reading between the lines, it sounded as if Adam’s father hadn’t exactly kept his dislike of his future daughter-in-law to himself.
‘Well, I guess that was his loss, wasn’t it?’
Her hair had fallen forward over her shoulder and he pushed it back. How had she known the perfect thing to say?
‘Sorry,’ he murmured, his palm gliding over the rounded ball of her shoulder. ‘I don’t know what’s got into me tonight.’
Jess shivered at his touch. ‘It’s fine.’
‘This is why I didn’t want you to come. He makes me crazy. I always leave so wound up. I’m sorry for…’ he waved his hand in the air ‘…everything. Particularly for pouncing on you like some horny teenager.’
Jess smiled at him, forcing a light, flirty note into her voice. No matter what had happened before he’d entered her bedroom she had the man she loved back by her side and another intriguing layer had been peeled away. ‘You were a little wound up,’ she said, running an index finger along his lower lip. ‘Maybe if I’d been there I could have helped you with that a lot sooner,’ she said, dropping a kiss on his nose and his cheek and his chin. ‘Like in the car…’ Her finger trailed down his belly. ‘On the way home.’
Adam chuckled as the tension from his shoulders started to ease. ‘Well, I didn’t think of that.’
‘Obviously,’ she murmured against his mouth.
Adam claimed it in a soft kiss as he dragged her on top of him and tunnelled his fingers into her hair, which had formed a wispy curtain around his head.
His chest filled with an emotion he didn’t want to analyse as she opened her mouth to him.
But this time, when he rolled her over and pressed her into the mattress, he loved her with the tenderness that was her due.
CHAPTER TEN
A WEEK later Adam was standing in the shallows as the sun poked golden fingers over the horizon, watching Jess leap to her feet on the board and ride a baby wave. Her tongue poked between her teeth in concentration. She was becoming quite competent at standing and had even extended the amount of time she managed to stay on the board.
She looked up at him, smiled and waved then shrieked as she lost her balance and plunged into the ocean. Adam laughed.
He loved these early mornings with Jess. Most of the women he’d seen in the past didn’t tend to be early risers and he’d lost count of the number of times he’d left a sleeping naked woman in his bed while he’d hit the waves.
Of course this had also given him a great opportunity to not be in the bed when they had woken, sending a potent message about the fleeting nature of their liaison to the few who’d thought they were different.
But with Jess it was almost as if he’d found a kindred spirit.
She paddled towards him and rose out of the ocean. Water streamed from her hair and sluiced down the very sensible one-piece that somehow seemed sexier than a micro, string bikini.
‘Okay, that’s it,’ Jess said, handing the board to him as she collapsed in the shallows next to his feet and flopped backwards. The water gently lapping at the beach cradled her weight. ‘I’m exhausted.’
Adam turned and pushed the board high on to the sand well away from the tide mark and sat in the shallows beside her. ‘You’re getting better,’ he murmured.
Jess snorted. ‘Liar.’
Adam chuckled. ‘You are. You’ve got a good technique going.’
Jess shut her eyes, tuning into the smell of salt and sand and the feel of the water washing in and out of her ears as it ebbed and flowed around her. It wasn’t the vast dryness of the outback but sitting next to the man she loved, it was pretty blissful.
‘I’ve got a good teacher,’ she murmured.
God knew, she was only doing this because of him. No way would she ever have got on a board if it hadn’t been at his urging. If it hadn’t seemed so important to him.
Adam looked down at her. Her blonde hair floated around her head in the current. Moisture beaded on her face, on her pink mouth. The water lapped at her sides, making an island out of her torso. The wet one-piece outlined the contours of her breasts and the hard points of her nipples to perfection.
Her legs, in slightly deeper water, were submerged and it wasn’t such a stretch to imagine that beneath the surface a tail swished lazily in the current.
She sure as hell looked like a mermaid.
His mermaid.
A feeling so foreign he didn’t even know what to call it filled him. Swept like the tide from his toes to his head. Its intensity was confusing and for a moment he didn’t even dare breathe.
Then it came to him.
Contentment.
It was a very odd revelation. He doubted he’d ever felt it with a woman, not even Caroline. He’d been too busy trying to make it all perfect, to constantly shore up the foundations so he could prove something to his father, to feel content.
The only thing in his life that roused similar sentiments was his job. And now that seemed kind of insignificant compared to this amazing surge of rightness.
Looking down at her, he knew he wanted to come back to this after his next mission overseas.
To her.
To her laug
hter and her smile.
To their conversations—on the beach and in bed.
To this feeling that all was right with the world. That she understood him. Accepted him for who he was. Didn’t want him to be someone else.
Like his old man.
Didn’t want anything from him.
He wanted to be able to look forward to coming back for a change. Coming back to something other than a crumbling house and the surf. To spend every day of the two months he was away anticipating his return.
Anticipating their reunion.
To know that while he was away, somebody, other than Ruby and his mother, was looking forward to him coming home.
Jess opened her eyes to find him looking down at her intently. She smiled at him. ‘What?’
Adam smiled back, his gaze drifting lower to her breasts.
Jess felt his gaze as potently as if he’d yanked her one-piece down and flicked his hot tongue over her nipples. They pebbled even tighter as the wet fabric abraded them painfully.
‘I’m cold,’ she said defensively.
Adam chuckled. ‘I can see that.’
Jess shut her eyes again. ‘If you’re going to look at me like that, you’d better be prepared to follow through,’ she murmured.
Adam’s breath hitched in his chest. He loved how she’d grown sexually confident. How she looked at him with sex in her eyes. How he caught her watching him sometimes and would know, without a doubt, she was mentally undressing him.
Jess shivered as she felt the soft weight of his hand on her belly. She smiled as it inched slowly north. His warm lips pressed a kiss on her shoulder and she sighed.
‘Jess.’
She opened her eyes to find him lying on his stomach beside her, the water lapping his elbows as he supported himself and looked down into her face. His shaggy hair blew lightly in the early morning breeze and his lapis lazuli eyes stared at her with breathtaking intensity.
He looked very, very serious.
Her smile faltered. ‘What?’
Adam’s heart was beating so hard against the sand he was afraid the tremors might set off an underwater earthquake far out to sea. ‘What would you say if I asked you to be waiting for me when I get back from my next mission?’
Jess saw the words come out of his mouth, she even heard each one with a startling clarity despite the noise of the ocean in her ears.
It did, however, take a long moment to compute their meaning.
An eerie silence descended around them as everything seemed to stop. Time and motion. Even the gentle rocking of the ocean. Her silly heart bounced around in her chest like an out-of-control firecracker but her ever-present practical side urged caution.
After all, it wasn’t a declaration of love. It wasn’t a marriage proposal. And he had been most specific when setting up the boundaries of their affair that he could only give her a few weeks.
She bent her knees and lifted herself up on her elbows, displacing his hand. The sand washed away beneath her soles and her elbows sank her down deeper. It brought their heads closer and she looked him square in the eye. ‘I’d ask why.’
‘Because I really like you and I’m going to miss you. And that’s not something I’ve said to any woman other than Caroline. Because I think we’ve got something good going on and it feels…right. To me. It feels easy. Because I want to know that while I’m slaving away in the developing world somewhere, you’re here thinking of me, waiting for me.’
Jess was stunned by his admission. By what he was offering. She smiled to hide the maelstrom of thoughts and feelings all competing for equal billing in her brain. ‘You think I’m easy?’
Adam gave a half-smile at her attempt at a joke. ‘I’m serious, Jess.’
She could see that. ‘I’m…confused,’ she said slowly. ‘I thought there was a clock ticking on this?’
He shrugged. ‘So did I. But…I don’t want this to end yet. I don’t think you do either.’
Well, that was the understatement of the year. She loved him.
But.
‘So…you want me to wait for you while you’re off overseas, sleeping with any nurse or pretty little intern who bats her eyelashes at you for two months, and then just pick up where we left off?’
Adam frowned. ‘No. Absolutely not. Even if there was time, even if I didn’t collapse into bed every night utterly exhausted from twelve-and fourteen-hour days, as I told you the other night, I’m not like that. That’s my father’s speciality.’
Jess bit down on her bottom lip. The possibilities glimmered like stars, twinkling tantalisingly close.
Maybe she could wait?
She wasn’t going anywhere just yet. She had a year in Emergency and a year in ICU before she planned on returning home.
She did have time.
Maybe this was the next step? These last weeks had been the first. Maybe this was the next?
Adam was a man who’d spent a lot of time avoiding commitments such as the one he was proposing now. Running from his father and therefore everything else that staying put offered. It made sense that he wasn’t going to rush headlong into something that smacked of permanency.
Maybe this was one step closer to him falling in love with her?
Maybe she could bend her perfect fairy-tale to suit a skittish prince? And if this was all he could offer her, maybe she could rewrite the fairy-tale altogether?
Maybe this princess couldn’t have it all?
Maybe that’s what happened after the happily-ever-after.
Compromise. Maybe she was all right with that.
She looked into his earnest face, making her decision without hesitation. ‘Good,’ she said. ‘Because I’m only interested if this is an exclusive arrangement.’
Adam nodded. ‘I give you my word.’
Jess sat up, suddenly overwhelmed by the situation. By her decision. She hugged her knees as she looked out to sea. The ocean stretched before her, rising and falling to an invisible rhythm. Her heart beat in unison with it.
Daring to hope.
She felt Adam turn and vault forward to join her in her inspection of the horizon.
After a minute she said, ‘Okay, then.’
Adam only just heard it. He turned his head and grinned at her, nudging his shoulder into hers. ‘Okay, then.’
Then he made a grab for her, wrestling her back as she shrieked and laughed. But when he kissed her there was relief and gratitude and a promise of all the good times to come.
A fortnight later Jess sat in her scrubs in the middle of a press conference where Lai Ling was the undisputed star. The media had gone crazy when they’d seen the spectacular results of her surgery.
She was grinning madly, her new face a testament to Adam’s skills and the commitment of Operation New Faces, Eastern Beaches and several charities. Her facial sutures had been removed for a while now and her slight scars glistened with a special ointment to keep them supple and reduce their pinkness.
Eventually they’d turn white and be barely noticeable.
The whole team was there, sitting in the same positions as last time. Jess sat next to a beaming Lai Ling, holding her hand again under the table. The interpreter sat on the other side.
Adam sat opposite her, looking every inch the debonair surgeon in his scrubs and cap, and winked when the non-stop flashing of cameras caused her to squint. Her heart filled with the joy of them despite the blight of his imminent departure the next day.
But she was trying not to think about that. They had this press conference to get through and then tonight he was taking her to his parents’ house. His mother wanted to see him before he went and had invited him to tea.
Jess had just about melted into a puddle when he had asked her to accompany him. She knew it was a big step for Adam—huge—and it had come with dire warnings about his father’s insufferable arrogance but she had leapt at the chance.
Gregory Carmichael did not scare her.
And then after dinner they had a whole nig
ht in each other’s arms. Jess smiled to herself—she doubted either of them would be getting much sleep.
‘Dr Carmichael?’ A journalist at the back made himself heard above the din. ‘I understand you’ve been with Operation New Faces for about six years now. It strikes me as a rather high-stress job and one that takes you away from loved ones for long stretches of time. How much longer do you think you can keep that up for?’
Adam grinned at the camera. ‘As long as there are people who need me, as long as Operation New Faces is around, I’ll be doing it,’ he confirmed with a broad grin at the camera.
Jess felt her smile fade a little as her heart slowed right down in her chest.
As long as there are people who need me? That seemed like a very long time.
‘You must have a very understanding girlfriend,’ the journalist joked.
Adam slid a glance towards Jess. ‘I do.’
Jess rekindled the smile as the cameras clicked away. But her future suddenly lost a bit of its glow.
Was she willing to wait for him for ever?
Put her life on hold for ever?
The sky was a brilliant shade of crimson as Adam drove along the clifftop road to Whale Beach. They’d put the top down on the retro sports car he’d owned since he’d been an intern and the wind ruffled his hair as an amazing slice of coastal scenery whizzed by.
He was too keyed up to enjoy it, however.
The fingers of one hand were wound tightly around the steering-wheel as his tension grew, dreading the enforced company of his father. Worrying about how the chief would be with Jess. And hoping he could keep his temper in check for the sake of Jess and his mother, who couldn’t bear any confrontation between father and son.
He glanced briefly at Jess. Why had he invited her?
Had he learnt nothing from his experience with Caroline? Did he truly want to expose her to his father’s arrogance?
But a part of him couldn’t bear to tackle tonight without her. He’d been surprised to realise he wanted her by his side.