by Thorne, Elle
Mac knew, too. She’d gotten to know Mae well, since Mae had raised Lance and his brothers. It was only natural; Mae was a part of her relationship with Lance.
A surge of guilt traveled through Mac. She’d avoided Mae—a lot. It was simply too difficult to be around a constant reminder of Lance.
Plus, after their breakup, then Lance moving away to work with the Compliance Unit, Mae had stopped in often to check on her, to see if there was a chance they’d get back together, insisting that Mac and Lance were fated mates, and all that other garbage.
If we were so damned fated, he wouldn’t have walked out on me. Especially not after couplebonding.
Especially that—it had ruined her ability to think of another man.
Ever.
Mac kept the smile plastered to her face, though she wanted to grimace at the idea of seeing Mae and thinking of Lance.
As if he ever leaves my mind for long, anyway.
Inside the cabin, a small cabin at that, though Kane had already begun to build an addition onto the back, the brothers Teague and Tanner—also taken in by Mae for a time during their younger years, were there with their mates, Kelsey and Marti. Missing was Marti’s son, Dominic, a young polar bear shifter.
Mac enjoyed the spirited little tyke’s sense of humor. “Where’s Dom?”
“Sleepover,” Marti said with a smile.
“Date night,” Tanner added, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.
Marti gave him a playful smack on the arm. “Quit that.”
Mae and Doc were noticeably absent.
“Let’s start. We’ve got appetizers,” Astra said with a singsong in her voice, clearly excited.
“Astra’s been practicing with puff pastries,” Kane expanded.
They sampled Astra’s crab puffs—damned good, as far as Mac was concerned; she’d be Astra’s guinea pig any day of the week.
The buzzing sensation she knew was Lance’s connection to her hadn’t waned all day, but now…
Holy buckets! The buzzing turned to an electrical charge coursing its way through her body.
No. Hell no. Say it isn’t so.
A knock sounded on the door.
It is so.
She didn’t need anyone to tell her Lance was outside the door.
Sweat broke out on her forehead and her upper lip. Not the sexy kind that was tiny drops, she knew it was the ugly kind of I just worked out like an MMA fighter kind.
Fuck.
She grabbed a napkin and dabbed.
Quit this. Quit this now.
As if chastising and scolding herself would yield the results she wanted.
Kane opened the door.
The air was sucked out of the cabin and out of her lungs. Everything began to spin, the room began to tilt.
Chapter Four
Lance stood outside the front door of Kane and Astra’s cabin with Mae and Doc. He breathed deeply, sucking oxygen in, willing himself, his heart, his bear and his soul to settle down. To not react.
Lance knew.
He’d have liked to not have known.
He’d have liked to not have felt.
He’d have liked to—
Who the fuck am I kidding?
The only thing I’d like is to have my fucking mate back.
MacKenzie Clarity.
He knew she was inside the cabin. He could sense it. He’d seen a Jeep just like hers when they’d first pulled up but he wasn’t sure…
Now he was.
His nerves were on fire with the awareness of her. He wondered if she were in the valley when he’d first come in, their bond, it wasn’t as strong as it used to be.
Has she found someone else? Is that why I’m not feeling her as intensely as I used to?
Once upon a time—long ago—before he fucked everything up by walking away from her, he could feel her from miles and miles away. Hell, the very day he left, he felt their connection even as his old faithful truck led him out of the valley and onto the life course he’d chosen. The Shifter Council’s Compliance Unit recommended Enforcers be unattached. Unmated.
He’d lied on his application. He never got caught.
He said he wasn’t couplebonded. Would telling the truth have gotten him barred? He didn’t want to find out.
Cross had joined. Lance followed.
Or so everyone thought. They didn’t realize Lance had an agenda.
He wanted to access their records. He wanted to know if the ones who killed his parents were punished.
If they weren’t—he wanted to do the punishing himself.
“What?”
Mae had asked something, something he completely missed because he almost couldn’t hear anything due to the sound of the ocean’s tide filling his head.
His bear roared, trying to compete with the tidal wave in his mind.
She was here.
Deal with it, moron, he told himself.
As if he could. As if he could even look at another woman. Think of another woman. Hell, even be with another woman.
His cock swelled, because of Mac.
And years of no Mac.
And simply because—Mac.
He smiled at Mae and caught the look in his foster mother’s eyes.
It wasn’t pity; pity would have been kind. It was a soul-wrenching sadness.
Aunt Mae gets it.
Of course, she would, she lost Brad, her first mate. Look how many years it took for her to take another mate.
“I’m fine,” Lance said gruffly, giving her a hug. He knocked on the door, louder than he should have, with more ferocity that he’d planned.
Blame it on the bear.
Kane opened the door.
The aroma of crab and baked goods whooshed out of the room. It went completely unnoticed by Lance.
There was one scent, and one scent alone that stuck to him with more tenacity than the fiercest adhesive known.
He assessed the room swiftly, his eyes instantly drawing a bead on her face.
My MacKenzie.
Her eyes, that blue of the Caribbean sky on the very best of days, were locked on him. The intensity of her gaze was ferocious. He noticed her hair, the long blond mass she used to have was a shorter bob, barely touched her shoulders.
And damned sexy, that hair style.
He squared his shoulders, deliberately avoided looking at her mouth. He couldn’t handle seeing the lips that used to curve into a stunning smile with innocent glee. He couldn’t handle the same lips that tilted into a seductress’s pout, just before she’d take him into her hot mouth and then take him to places he never thought existed. Places that resulted in ecstasy and groans of release.
Yeah, need to stay away from that mouth.
Same high cheekbones, full, same strong jaw. Same defined eyebrows that expressed more emotion than some people’s entire face.
He was back. He’d been gone for four years, but now he had a year to consider re-enlisting.
Except there was nothing to reconsider—not really. He knew what he wanted. Completely. Totally. Forever.
Except there was one problem.
The expression in her eyes said, no chance in hell.
He stepped in, operating on autopilot, following Mae and Doc into Kane and Astra’s cabin.
Lance deliberately pushed his focus away from Mac. He had to. It was that, or become transparent and let everyone read his emotions.
Astra hadn’t changed much. Same eerie eyes. Same light blond hair. Same quirky smile. Except now she was a woman, not the little girl he’d remembered before Doc took her to Florida to raise after her mother was killed.
“Lance!” Astra gave him a hug. “You haven’t changed.”
“You either. Nice to see you happy.” And it was good to see a smile on her face. Good to see her with a mate who clearly cherished her.
Poor Astra, losing her mother, going through a depression, Doc having to move her away from the memories and the pain, and even the danger, perhaps. Lance never did
find out what was behind the attack on Astra’s mother.
He was introduced to a couple of grizzly shifters and their mates. Teague, Tanner, Kelsey, and Marti. Lance had heard of the shifters. They were two more of Mae’s “nephews.”
He glanced at his aunt Mae. The woman was incredible. Too bad she never had kids of her own. Or maybe this was why she didn’t. Perhaps some grand design made it so she could be the foster mother she was.
Mae was giving Cross a hug.
Cross.
Lance would need to face this as well. Here we go. He took a step closer. “Hey, brother.” He greeted his older sibling.
“Lance.” Cross’s smile was strained. “How are things?”
Lance knew why his brother’s face looked like he’d just taken a sip of unsweetened lemonade, because he was sure Cross was going through the same thing Lance was.
For some damned reason their bears hated each other with such passion that the roaring and snarling in their heads was overwhelming, often drowning outside noises.
Lance put his hand out to Cross, ignoring his bear’s bristling growly protests.
Cross grabbed his hand, but instead of shaking it, he pulled him into a hug. “It’s good to see you, regardless of this…”
This. The bears. The hatred. The enmity. The competition.
“Yes, it is,” Lance agreed, ignoring his bear.
Mae put her hand on each of their shoulders. “You’re both home for a year. Can we figure this out? It’s not healthy.”
It sure as hell hadn’t been healthy. The two brothers had nearly killed each other when they were younger and shifted into their bears.
Though both of them were in the Shifter Council Compliance Unit, but they didn’t work anywhere near each other. Oh, at first the Unit Commanders had tried to put them together in the same squad, thinking brothers would be good together, and of course, like everyone else, they’d assumed Lance was following his big brother Cross’s footsteps.
He and Cross had been adamant about the fact they would not work together. Period.
And they hadn’t. Four years, they hadn’t seen each other.
They’d texted once or twice during the holidays or birthdays.
Nothing more.
No emails.
No calls.
No “where are you working this week, bro?”
None of that.
Chapter Five
So much for Lance’s effect on Mac having diminished. Mac felt him, and the effect of that on her body was bad.
Very bad.
Then she saw him and bad was redefined.
With one glance, her defenses, her fortifications, her everything and her anything were shattered—splintered into a million damned pieces that left bleeding slivers on her soul.
She braced herself, closed her eyes to keep the pain from being broadcast, and summoned a strength she hadn’t known she had to keep the pain from owning her.
She opened her eyes, stared at Lance del Cruz with the intensity of a laser beam. She kept her essence unapproachable and her gaze hostile.
He hadn’t changed. The penetrating midnight blue eyes that could cut through her with the ease of a scalpel or render her into a wet, wanton woman, looked back at her.
His jaw muscles clenched and a tic plagued his temple.
Lance.
He really was back in Bear Canyon.
Just not back in her bed. Which he never should have left.
And not exactly back in her heart and mind. Which he never did leave.
Not really. He didn’t leave her mind at all, and her heart couldn’t purge him, even with the ministrations of that damned witch doctor.
This merited a trip back, indeed. Why did it feel like her reaction to him was stronger than ever?
He didn’t take his eyes off her face. She couldn’t take her eyes off his.
The yearning. His hunger. That was on naked display for her, right there, reflected in the amber glow of his bear’s presence in the depths of Lance’s eyes.
His bear wanted her. His bear wanted them.
It’s the man who didn’t want me.
And she wasn’t willing to have the bear if she couldn’t have the man. Hell, she couldn’t. How could she?
Lance walked away from what they had.
She didn’t.
The broad shoulders, maybe even broader now. The wide chest, the way she remembered it catching the sunlight in the early morning hours when they’d lie in bed together and she’d wake before he did, studying this vision of perfection, basking in the glow of his love.
The dark hair sprinkling his forearms, emphasizing the muscles and tendons when he was working outside.
Fuck, I need to shake myself from this train of thought.
“…weather.”
Someone was talking to her. Mac turned her head slowly to Kelsey, who was talking to her evidently, though Mac had been in another dimension, another plane, another planet.
“I’m sorry?” She tore her eyes from Lance and paid attention to Kelsey. Or at least she tried to.
“There’s weather coming. They called for an unexpected spring blizzard. I guess they’re expecting it though…” Kelsey laughed at her own joke. “Maybe they didn’t expect it to be as bad as it’s supposed to be. Make sure someone follows you down the mountain.”
Mac nodded. Smiled. Took a bite of crab puff to keep her hands and mouth busy.
The previously delicious puff was now flavorless and the conversations around her faded to nothing as she remembered their last day together.
She’d had no idea it was coming. None at all.
* * *
Back then…
Mac had been working in the clinic one Saturday, all alone, getting ready to lock up when Lance walked in.
“Is everything okay?” He didn’t normally come by the clinic without a sick or injured animal.
She saw the desire in the flame of his bear’s amber glow deep in Lance’s indigo eyes.
“It’s better than okay.”
He leaned in, lips taking hers, bruising and claiming them. Fingers cupping her cheek, he moved lower to her jaw line. His tongue pressed her resistance away, owning her mouth, twining with her tongue. His lips scorched hers the same way his soul sought hers, wanting back their relationship. His kiss delivered a message that her ears would never believe, thanks to the abandonment she’d suffered, first from her parents and then him.
Lance cursed softly. “Fucccck.” He groaned against her mouth.
Her pulse raced. The throb in his body was overwhelming, like it was attached to her brain because she couldn’t stop the primal beat from filling her mind.
She sucked in a deep breath. It thrust her breasts forward, and her peaked nipples poked at the white material of her dress, their outline tattling her arousal. She didn’t care. This was the man she loved. The only man for her.
She bit her lip, worried it with white, tiny, even teeth, making it red, raw, sexy.
Lance tugged on her top, the fabric gave, revealing a bra that barely held her creamy, pebble-tipped mounds. Her chest pumped for breath.
He shoved her bra down, straps over her shoulders and lowered his head to suck one nipple. He latched on, taking it in deeply, releasing it with a pop. His fingers reached for her other nipple, tweaking and tugging on it, rolling it between fingertips while it grew stiffer and stiffer, sending jolt after jolt between her nipples and clit.
Her chest hurt, burning with a need to breathe, reminding her she was holding her breath.
His lips on her breast, his hand on her other breast were overwhelming, but they did nothing to satisfy the aching, pulsing desire between her legs. When he bit down on her nipple, she almost came undone. Her hand flew down to her shorts, pushing them off with one hand, alternating between hips until they were low enough to shimmy off. She lowered her hand between her legs.
Lance’s brows raised, desire flashed in his eyes.
Mac slipped a finger between he
r folds, found the wetness he’d created had already drenched her.
Her fingers didn’t stop even though he was watching her hand, if anything, seeing naked lust on his face fueled her. He pulled on her nipples with both hands while he watched her touching herself.
“Work that pussy.”
The way he said it made her inner muscles clench, and her fingers moved faster and faster in tight circles on the tiny center of her desire.
“I want to watch you fuck yourself,” he whispered in her ear. “Now.”
“Oh god,” she gasped, panting and tormented with pleasure.
She wanted him. Did she ever. The way he turned her on and left her needing him made her want to do the dirtiest things to herself while he enjoyed watching.
“Now.” Lance brushed his lips across her nipple, his scruffiness teased her sensitive flesh, lighting it further on fire as she imagined that beard between her legs, licking the area she’d shaved clean.
She shoved a finger in and closed her eyes. A gasp, followed by an exhaled breath escaped her.
She moved her finger in and out.
“That’s it, Mac. Touch yourself the way you want me to.” His breath was hot on her nipple, then she felt it traveling lower.
She held her breath captive while his tongue made a slow slick trail over her stomach. She sucked it in, almost self-conscious.
Mac pushed her finger in then pulled it out. In, out.
“Put another finger in,” he groaned against her skin.
She did, enjoying the filling sensation.
His hot tongue separated her folds and touched her clit,
Mac jumped.
His tongue swiped at her clit, faster, harder, faster. He switched to sucking. Then he licked more.
He pushed her legs wider. She leaned against the counter.
She pulled her fingers out, holding his head in place.
Lance slid his fingers inside, two, then a third, widening her, driving deeply, then curling upward while his tongue tormented her with its persistent licking, sucking, and flicking.
Mac’s legs shook, slowly losing the good fight. When he removed his fingers and slipped his tongue into her, pulling out her moisture, licking her and sucking her lips in then letting them out with a loud smacking pop, she bit down on her lip to keep from crying out. His whole face, beard scratching and tickling, rubbed on her folds.