“Of course,” Owen and I said together.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
Owen turned to me. “I’ll find you in the waiting room. Okay?”
I nodded, and he kissed me, lightly but with sweetness.
The memory of that kiss and the smile he gave me afterwards kept me mostly under control as I sat alone in the waiting room for the next hour. I didn’t begrudge Linda her son, of course, and I was glad she’d been able to admit that she needed him, but I missed his calm presence.
Eventually Melissa and Nicholas arrived with Corinne and Austin, and Owen walked into the room as I was filling them all in on where he was. He looked exhausted and I jumped up and hurried to his side. “Is she okay? Are you?”
He nodded and took my hand. “She...” He grimaced. “She cried. A lot. She’s just so scared of how it’ll be when she wakes up.”
I squeezed his hand, and we all settled into the uncomfortable waiting room chairs in silence.
We’d been told that the surgery itself would take about an hour and that she’d probably be ready to see us in the recovery room about an hour after that. We’d been waiting two and a half hours, with no word, when Owen turned toward me and took my hand again. I shifted in my chair to face him, and he gave my hand two squeezes and mouthed, “Help me. Please.”
I let my shield down and focused on him, not letting the fear and sadness of the others get between us. He was so scared I could hardly breathe feeling what he felt, and for a moment our shared terror meant I couldn’t remember anything Pam had shown me.
“Please,” he mouthed again. “I can’t...”
I forced myself to breathe deeply, to calm myself, then I opened to his emotions. They felt awful, but I let everything in that I could. I didn’t think I could make him happy, and that wasn’t appropriate even if I could, but once I had his feelings inside me I imagined myself smoothing the worst of the rough edges from them and sending them back to him. Not panic, but nervousness. Not dread, but worry. I buffed away the most horrible parts of what he was feeling and sent back the calmer versions along with all the hope and peace I could muster up from my own scared self.
His eyes widened, then he closed them, but not before I saw his fear begin to fade. I sat looking at him, doing my best to help him and feeling closer to him every second as I experienced his every emotion, until I didn’t have the strength to do it any more. Then I squeezed his hand again.
He opened his eyes and looked at me, and I knew it had worked. He was still frightened, of course, but he could handle it now.
Without setting up the barriers. Without hiding from me.
I smiled at him, feeling the last of the horrors leaving me and a quiet pride in being able to help my husband taking their place.
His free hand came up and cupped my cheek, and he leaned in and kissed me, and to my surprise I found myself feeling the same safety I’d always felt from him even though he was no longer silent emotionally. Maybe... maybe the safety had always come from him, not from his silence.
We kissed for several moments, with tenderness not passion, and as he drew back and gave me a grateful smile a doctor said, “Mr. Reel?”
Chapter Forty
“Trust you to take extra-long to come out of your anesthetic.” Austin tried to look annoyed. “We were worried sick, lady.”
Linda gave a weary laugh. “Good. About time you worried about me for a change instead of the other way around.”
“Why would you worry about me, I’m perfect.”
Corinne laughed. “Jeez, Austin, even I don’t think you’re perfect.”
He pouted, then leaned in to hug his mom gently.
I took one look at the bottom of her bed, where her left calf was clearly there beneath the blankets and the right clearly was not, then I put that out of my head. Linda was here and that was what mattered.
For the first time I could remember I felt a pang of missing my own mom, and the rest of my family. I’d shut them out since I simply couldn’t handle their drama, but I was handling the drama of this family fine so maybe now with Owen in my life I could reconnect with mine. They’d probably be shocked and horrified I’d married without their knowledge, but I decided I’d contact them whenever we left the hospital. Reach out to them rather than pushing them away.
Melissa hugged Linda after Austin stepped back. Linda hugged her back, and kissed her cheek, then said, “Oops,” and rubbed at the spot with her thumb.
“Did you get lipstick on me?”
“You’re wearing lipstick at all? Right after surgery? Honestly, Mom. I’m vain too, but--”
She laughed, cutting Austin off. “My wonderful son,” she said, gesturing to Owen, “told the nurses I’d feel better faster if they gave me a little touch-up. And I did. I feel like myself.”
Owen smiled at her, and slipped his arm around my waist. I cuddled into him and saw Linda watching us with a small smile. I smiled back at her, and she winked then yawned.
“We should let you rest, maybe?”
Linda shook her head at Nicholas. “I’ve been out of it enough today. I don’t know what drugs are in this thing,” she said, waving at the medication pump beside her, “but I like them. I feel way better than I thought I would.”
“Then maybe you don’t need me.”
We all turned, surprised at the new voice, to see Raul standing in the doorway, then turned back to Linda.
She licked her lips. “I... how...”
“I’m so glad you’re okay, Linda. I’ve missed you.”
She closed her eyes for a moment, and I feared she was preparing to send him packing and then kill whoever’d told him about the surgery, but when she opened them they were soft and full of tears. “I’ve missed you too. But I didn’t want you to see me like...” She gestured at where her leg should have been.
“All I see,” he said, coming closer as we parted for him, “is you. My wife.”
My throat tightened and I heard one of the other girls give a sniff.
“Bye, Mom,” Austin said, gently shooing the rest of us out of the room, but I didn’t think she heard. She was holding out her arms to Raul, and her face was lit up with joy and love. She’d laughed and smiled since he left, of course, but I realized now that she hadn’t been truly happy even once in all that time.
Back in the waiting room, as we collapsed onto couches Austin said, “So, who went against her and spilled the beans? She’s gonna be pissed.”
“She will not,” Melissa said. “Didn’t you see her? She’s so glad to see him.” She blinked back tears. “It’s sweet.”
“It is, but she’s still gonna be mad. Or at least pretend to be. Who do we have to defend?”
“Not me,” everyone said, but I looked at Owen and even without feeling his emotions I knew he was lying. We’d all seen that Linda wanted Raul back but was afraid to be rejected after pushing him away, but Owen had been the only one to actually do something about it, and I loved him for it.
As the others debated who it had been, I snuggled into my husband and he kissed my forehead.
“Do I love you?” I thought while he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer. “Really?”
I wasn’t sure I did, yet. But I was sure I was going to some day.
Chapter Forty-One
Three weeks later, eight adults and two babies made their way toward their waiting cruise ship. Linda, riding along in her Raul-powered wheelchair like a queen in a carriage, was busily instructing everyone where we would meet for dinner, but I wasn’t listening. I was busily hounding my husband.
“Why did you cut her off like that?”
He blinked innocently. “I know what booking we have on the ship, I didn’t need to have her say it.”
Linda laughed. “You’re a lousy liar, Owen.”
“Especially to Celia,” he said, giving me a big smile.
I caught his hand and held him back from the others. “I’m desperate to know,” I said, grinning because I knew h
e wanted to tell me whatever he hadn’t wanted the cruise line worker to say out loud in front of everyone. “Tell me already or I’m going home.”
“No, you’re not,” Linda called back as Raul pushed her away. “You’re stuck with us.”
“Horror,” I shouted after her, then ignored her laughter and said, “Owen, come on. I’m gonna find out in a minute anyhow once we get to our room.”
“Sweet.”
“Sweet what? Me?”
He burst out laughing. “Yes, but I didn’t say sweet. Well, I did, but--”
I slapped him lightly on the shoulder.
“S-u-i-t-e,” he spelled out, then pulled a sheet from the folder he’d been given when we checked in and held it out to me. I studied it, amazed. I’d been excited enough about a fancy room with a balcony on the ship, but this? We had a sitting area, a huge wrap-around balcony not just a normal one, and...
I pointed at the floor plan. “Is that what I think it is?”
He grinned at me. “What do you think it is?”
“Get up here or be left behind!”
“Your mother’s a nightmare,” I said as we started walking.
“Amen to that. Let’s hope yours is better when we meet her after the cruise, and your dad and sister too.”
I leaned into him. I’d been terrified to make that call, but with his arms around me I’d been able to do it and I also had hopes everything would work out.
“So,” he said, “what did you think that was on the plan?”
I shot him a sideways look. “I think it’s a whirlpool tub.”
He raised his eyebrows at me, somehow making it sexy. “Guess we’ll find out. But it’s supposed to be. I upgraded us. Put some of my gambling money to good use.”
“But you love gambling on the cruise!”
“Yeah, but I-- want to spend time with you.”
I heard a different sentence in his voice, one we hadn’t said yet but had been tiptoeing around, and I pulled him close and kissed him.
“There are children here,” Austin shouted. “Quit corrupting them.”
I broke free of Owen, laughing, and we started walking again as I called, “Why, because you want to take care of that yourself?”
“Obviously.”
Owen began to hurry to catch up to the others. I went with him for a few moments, but when we were nearly there I took his hand and slowed him down. “I...” I cleared my throat, scared but knowing I meant what I was about to say. I’d been thinking about it since the day of Linda’s surgery and I knew it was right, and I didn’t want to wait another second to tell him. “I didn’t bring those condoms you asked me to pack.”
He gave my hand a squeeze. “Don’t worry about it, they sell them on board.”
“Owen, I... I didn’t forget. I didn’t bring them on purpose.”
“I--” He stopped mid-step and turned me to face him. “Wait, are you saying...”
I smiled, my throat tightening at the surprise and pleasure in his eyes, and whispered, “Want to make a little water baby?”
In answer he pulled me close and kissed me again, giving my arm two quick squeezes as he did. I let down my shield and felt everything he felt. Joy and excitement and a hint of fear at the idea of bringing a new life into the world and an almost blinding happiness with that idea and with our marriage.
Of course, I hadn’t needed to let down the shield to experience those emotions. I felt exactly the same way.
The cruise ship would leave its safe harbor soon, but Owen and I would be each other’s safe harbors forever.
Acknowledgements
Thanks once again to Scarlett Rugers Design (www.scarlettrugers.com) for the great cover for this book. You’re a superstar!
I’m so lucky to have amazing beta readers, and even more lucky to have the same ones twice in a row! Thanks so much to Anna Galinski, Bianca Marzullo, Christal Merrelli, Jenny Eason, Kelli Nash, and Sheyann Sword for again taking the time to read this book in second draft and find the places where I’d gone astray. (Any remaining errors, of course, are mine alone!)
All eighteen of my books so far have benefited tremendously from Holly MacLeod reading them and providing her feedback, and I’ve benefited even more tremendously from having her support and encouragement. You’re the best!
I don’t usually dedicate my books to anyone, but this time I have to dedicate “Safe Harbor?” to my husband. He is my safe harbor, no question mark required, and I can’t imagine where I’d be without him. (Not with eighteen books out and more on the way, that’s for sure.)
Thank You For Reading
I so appreciate your reading “Safe Harbor?” and I hope you enjoyed it. Book reviews are crucial, both for me as an author and for your fellow readers, so if you can spare a moment to leave a review at your favorite retailer that would be wonderful.
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Thanks again, and happy reading!
Also by Heather Wardell
Toronto Collection
Life, Love, and a Polar Bear Tattoo (free download!)
Go Small or Go Home
Planning to Live
Stir Until Thoroughly Confused
A Life That Fits
Live Out Loud
Blank Slate Kate
Finding My Happy Pace
All at Sea
Good to Myself
Pink is a Four-Letter Word
Everybody’s Got a Story
Fifty Million Reasons
Plan Overboard
Toronto Collection Volume One (contains “Go Small or Go Home”, “Planning to Live”, “Stir Until Thoroughly Confused”, and “A Life That Fits” in one omnibus edition!)
Toronto Collection Volume Two (contains “Live Out Loud”, “Blank Slate Kate”, “Finding My Happy Pace”, and “All at Sea” in one omnibus edition!)
Toronto Collection Volume Three (contains “Good to Myself”, “Pink is a Four-Letter Word”, “Everybody’s Got a Story”, and “Fifty Million Reasons” in one omnibus edition!)
“Seven Exes” Series
Seven Exes Are Eight Too Many
Bad Will Hunting
Fifteen Minutes of Summer
Safe Harbor? Page 20