His own body reacted instantly. With his arms holding him up, he couldn’t touch her, which he desperately wanted to do.
“Could we move this to a bedroom?” he asked, hoping he wasn’t being too presumptuous.
“It’s upstairs.”
She was worried he wouldn’t make it up, which ordinarily would’ve pissed him off—he was a Ranger, for God’s sake—but right now he was of a single mind. Getting her to the closest bed possible. It was impulsive, like yesterday’s kiss, and irresponsible, but he’d dreamed about being with Hannah for fifteen years. No way could he hold back now, even if it was just a taste.
“There’s the couch,” she said, sounding breathless—and hot.
Although he liked her enthusiasm, the sofa was too small for what he had in mind. He kissed her neck, scraped her earlobe with his teeth, and whispered, “Upstairs.”
She led the way and he did his best to climb each step, using his left leg as a stabilizer. It hurt something fierce but the reward waiting for him at the top spurred him on. He made it up the steep climb—apparently they didn’t have building codes in the Victorian era—in record time and trailed Hannah into what must’ve been her bedroom. A lot of ruffles, lace, and throw pillows.
She quickly closed the drapes while he sat on the edge of the bed, catching a second wind. When she was finished shrouding the room in darkness, she lit a few candles on the dresser and nightstand. Nice touch, but he would’ve preferred a few lights so he could see her better. She started fussing with the pillows and he pulled her down on the bed.
“Don’t worry about ’em.” He touched her breasts through her dress and continued to kiss her. She felt so good that he forgot about his leg and moved over her, pressing himself against her. “This okay?”
“Mm” was her only answer as she rocked into him. “Is it okay for you?”
If it got any better he’d embarrass himself. “Perfect.”
“I want to take off my dress? It’s getting warm.”
Hell yeah. He rolled off her and watched her inch the dress up and drag it over her head. Holy shit!
His hands went to her flat stomach as his eyes took her in. She had on a push-up bra overflowing with her breasts, and a strip of lace that passed for panties. “Jesus, Hannah. You take my breath away, baby.”
Her hands inched up his Henley. Josh stripped it off, desperate to feel his bare skin against hers. She touched his shoulders and chest . . . his scars from the shrapnel . . . so reverently that he sucked in a breath, afraid he wouldn’t be able to hold on. Josh took her hands and held them above her head as he trailed kisses down her neck, over her breasts, and lower to her belly.
“Oh yes,” she said, grinding into him.
“You smell good.” He continued to explore her body with his mouth while he pulled down the cups of her bra and fondled her breasts.
Hannah sat up, reached behind her, unhooked the clasp, and let the bra slither off. It was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen. He weighed each breast in his hands and sucked on her puckered pink nipples.
Her moans drove him crazy. He worked his way down, finding her wet and so sensitive to his touch that she nearly came off the bed when he put his mouth on her panties.
“Josh, I want you . . . please.”
He slid the scrap of lace down her legs and stroked her until she begged. She watched, heavy-lidded, as he undid his belt and shucked off his pants and shorts . . . and came to a screeching halt.
“I didn’t bring condoms,” he said, and felt woefully unprepared.
“We’re okay. I’m on birth control.” She pulled him down on top of her.
“You sure?” he asked. She ground into him in response and he spread her legs, entering her tight sheath a little at a time. “This all right?”
“It’s been awhile.”
He moved slowly inside of her, letting her grow accustomed to him while trying to find the sweet spot.
“Oh,” she moaned, and he knew he’d found it.
She put her feet flat on the bed and he was able to go deeper and pump harder.
“Jesus, you feel so good.” Josh lifted her bottom and quickened the pace.
“Josh, Josh,” she called, and he could feel her clutch around him and shudder.
It wasn’t long before he followed, throwing his head back, exploding inside her, and collapsing. Afraid of crushing her, Josh rolled to his side and gathered her up in his arms. He’d never been the cuddling type but he wanted to hold Hannah, even sleep with her for a while.
“How you doing?”
“I think the best I’ve ever been.” She ran her hands down his back. “How about you?”
“Ditto.” He kissed her. “Want to take a nap?” His eyes were already closing as he said it.
Sometime around ten they woke up. Hannah went downstairs and brought up pie to eat in bed. Then they made love into the next day.
The sex exceeded his fantasies. And the intimacy they’d shared went far beyond anything he’d ever imagined. She made him forget Nevay-deh, the explosion, and the things he could no longer do that he once took for granted.
But in the light of day, he knew he’d see things more clearly. Maybe it was just a hookup for Hannah, which was fine. If she needed more from him, though, he didn’t have it to give. Since losing most of the use of his leg, he’d become a stranger to himself. Until he figured out his new place in the world, he couldn’t fit into hers.
Chapter Eight
Hannah woke a little disoriented, rolled to her side, and looked at the clock. It was only eight. Plenty of time to get to the shop. She wanted a few minutes to lie there and savor the night, the best she’d ever had.
“Good morning.” Josh stood over the bed fully dressed.
“You’re leaving?”
“I’ve got to go home, shower, change, and get to Garner Adventure.”
She swung her legs over the bed, realized she was naked, and pulled the blanket up to her chest. Silly, since Josh had seen every inch of her. “Let me make you coffee.”
“Don’t worry about it. Stay in bed a little longer.” He bent down, kissed the top of her head, and started for the door. She noticed his limp was worse than usual and she blamed herself.
“Your leg is hurting you, isn’t it? Maybe we shouldn’t have . . . you know . . . it was probably too much exertion.”
He shrank back like she’d just slugged him. “I’ve got to go.”
“Josh,” she called to him, grabbing her sweater dress off the floor and quickly tugging it over her head as she went after him down the hallway. “Wait.”
She got to the top of the staircase and looked for him, wondering if he’d already left. “Josh?”
There was a noise and she spotted him sprawled halfway down the stairs.
“My God, you fell.”
“I’m fine.” He grabbed the railing and tried to hoist himself up only to fall back down again.
“Here, let me help.”
“I don’t need any help!”
She felt her face pale and wondered whether she should call Colt. Josh grabbed the railing again and she stuck out her hand to assist him.
“Use me for support,” she said. He responded by staring daggers at her.
This time, he managed to get to his feet and balanced precariously on his good leg. She feared he’d fall again but he clutched the railing and somehow hopped safely to the landing. He was breathing hard and sweating, perspiration dotting his forehead.
“I’m all right,” he said, and stood there for a second, trying to compose himself. “I slipped, no big deal.”
She wanted to drive him home but didn’t dare suggest it, knowing that he’d go ballistic. “Let me make you that coffee at least.”
“Thanks, but I don’t have time.”
Hannah came down to where he was standing and stared up into his turbulent blue eyes and saw a world of emotion there, shame being right on top. “I’ve taken a tumble or two down those stairs myself.”
&n
bsp; He fixed her with a look that said she was full of crap and practically stumbled to the front door. “Thanks for last night.”
Thanks for last night? Wow.
He was just mortified by the fall, she told herself. Unfortunately, Josh wasn’t the type to accept the things he couldn’t change, like a leg that flamed out on him. And she’d already gone that route with Chip, who hadn’t been able to accept that he had a drinking problem. An epically bad recipe for a relationship.
A few minutes later she heard his truck start and drive away. She went back upstairs and took a hot shower, dressed, and changed the bedding. The torture of smelling Josh on her sheets was too much. Ever since he came wandering into her shop something had sparked between them. Perhaps rekindled was a better way of putting it because truth be told Josh Garner had always heated her blood, even back when she’d thought he despised her.
She made it to the store at exactly ten, too late to get coffee at the Morning Glory. Even though Deb sometimes relieved her long enough to grab a cup, Hannah hoped she didn’t drop by today. One look at Hannah’s face and Deb would see everything. She was intuitive like that.
“Hey.” Win came in, sipping his disgusting green protein shake.
“Who you hiding from today?”
“No one. Just wanted to smell the goodness.” He stood over one of the candles, sniffing. “At work I’m stuck snorting my dad’s dirty socks.”
“He walks around without shoes?”
“It’s his new thing, climbing the rock wall in just his socks. Don’t ask me why. There’s no research that says it’s beneficial. Clearly, it’s not safe. But this is the guy who decided to water-ski last summer in the nude.”
Hannah scrunched up her nose. It’s not that Gray Garner wasn’t fit. Middle-aged women in Glory Junction threw themselves at him even though he was married. But water-skiing in the nude? Ew.
“What do you have here?” Win pointed at the cartons by the door.
The ugly sweaters she kept forgetting to return. Soon it would be too late. “I was supposed to take them to the UPS office. The company sent me the wrong order.”
“Want me to load them into your car?”
“You wouldn’t mind?” He was still bundled up in his down jacket.
“Not for you.” He winked. The man really did think he was God’s gift to women and unfortunately he was, despite an ego the size of the Pacific Ocean.
“Just put them in my backseat, the trunk’s full. And could I coax you into getting me a cup of coffee, too?”
“What’s in it for me?” he teased.
“I’ll give you one of those candles for Garner Adventure.”
“TJ would probably fire me. Candles are against company policy,” he mimicked. “You want cream and sugar?”
“Just cream, please. And thank you, Win.” She handed him her car keys and a five-dollar bill for the coffee.
“Your money’s no good here.” He shoved the keys in his jacket pocket, hefted the boxes with ease, and imitated Arnold Schwarzenegger in The Terminator : “I’ll be back.”
Good to his word, he returned to the store less than fifteen minutes later with a steaming cup of coffee. She took a fortifying sip but still wasn’t ready to greet the day. If she had her druthers, she’d go home and stick her head under the covers, even though she should be walking on air after the best sex of her life.
“What’s bugging you?” Win asked, pulling her from her thoughts.
“Nothing.”
“I heard through the grapevine that Josh didn’t come home last night. You wouldn’t happen to know where he was?” His lips curved up into a knowing smile.
“Don’t you need to get to work?”
“I’m taking a couple of extreme skiers up in thirty. We’re meeting next door, so no rush. Back to Josh . . . you don’t know where he was?”
“Shut up, Win.”
He smirked and gave her a big hug. “And here I always thought it would be us. But Josh is a good second placer.”
She didn’t want to talk about Josh, especially with his brother. “What about Colt and TJ?”
“They’re tied for last. You’d be better off with a mutant.”
She muttered that they were too competitive and refolded a couple of T-shirts. Outside, it looked like Chip and a few friends were painting the gazebo. Risky, since there was more snow in the forecast.
Win saw her watching the men work. “I always thought you and Chip were mismatched.”
“Really? Why?” Other than Chip had liked to drink himself into oblivion and she hadn’t.
“I don’t know. I just always thought you and Josh would be better suited. You’re both goal-oriented people, whereas Chip is more laid back.”
It was true. Even when Chip wasn’t drunk, which was basically never, he didn’t have a lot of aspirations in the world. Ski, fish, inner-tube down the Glory River, those were the bulk of his ambitions.
“How did you ever come up with Josh and me? Back then we didn’t even like each other.”
“Exactly.” Win bobbed his head, smirking. “You two were so hot for each other you fought like cats and dogs. We all used to laugh, it was so comical. And then it wasn’t, you know what I mean?”
Because she’d married an alcoholic and Josh went off to war. Yeah, not so comical.
“I better get going.” He gave her a quick peck on the cheek. “I’m rooting for the two of you this time around.”
Based on the way Josh had acted this morning, they didn’t have a skosh of a chance. She didn’t need another man who wouldn’t accept her help. This time around she wanted someone who’d be a true partner in every sense of the word, not someone so prideful he refused to take a hand when he was down.
That’s why, later that day, she interrupted Josh’s workout by ringing the bell at Garner Adventure. When he answered the door she brushed him aside and pushed her way in.
“Let’s get last night out of the way so we can move on.” She plopped down on the sectional. “What’s the deal with us, Josh?”
He let out a long sigh and said, “Yeah, I guess we should probably talk about that.” He sat next to her and gently lifted her chin. His eyes were filled with what looked like regret. “Last night was truly amazing, Hannah. The best thing that’s happened to me in a long time. I’m sorry I ruined it by making the morning suck.” Another long breath. “I’m frustrated and angry at having to learn to live with a body that’s foreign to me and I lose it sometimes. It’s not an excuse for acting like a dick. I shouldn’t have taken my fall out on you.”
No, it wasn’t and no, he shouldn’t have. But she could understand how difficult that explosion had made his life. “Okay, we’ll just forget about . . . the whole thing.”
“Ah, Hannah, I’ll never be able to pretend our night together didn’t happen. But I don’t have anything to offer you. If not for my family’s business I wouldn’t even have a job. I’m not good boyfriend material, not like this.”
“What is this?”
“Disabled.” He had trouble even saying the word. “I don’t know if my leg will ever be normal again. And after everything you’ve been through you deserve a whole man.”
She winced. “You are whole. You were hurt in an explosion, you have a limp, yet you’re acting like you only have a few months to live.”
He stared openly at his leg. “I have to figure out my future, Hannah. All my life I’ve been active. It’s how I made my living. How I served my country. Now I have to figure out where I go from here.”
“Silly of me to think I could have been part of that.”
He didn’t say anything, just sat there still and painfully quiet. She pulled away, feeling sad and alone.
“You’re right, I do deserve more,” she said. “I deserve a man who leans on me as much as I lean on him and someone who doesn’t measure his worth as you do—as if anything short of physical perfection is shameful. Maybe we can work on our friendship because it seems to me that you can use a good f
riend, one who can remind you that you’re more than an imperfect body.”
She waited for him to say something encouraging—“I want to be more than friends, Hannah”—and when he didn’t and just nodded, she wanted to be angry. But how could she be? He’d at least been honest. For someone as alpha as Josh to have admitted that he felt like only half a man . . . well, it was sad . . . and warped. It made her want him to see that he was every bit a whole man and then some.
But that couldn’t include sex. They had too much history, too much chemistry, too much respect for each other. Not to mention that that kind of intimacy, without a true partnership to go with it, would tear her apart.
“I can’t sleep with you again,” she said. “I don’t do casual.”
Again he nodded, making her turn away out of disappointment that he’d acquiesced so easily.
What could she do? Nothing but put on her best face, including a phony smile, and point at the back of the room to the exercise equipment. “Get to work,” she said.
Chapter Nine
On a cold, clear day, Josh attended Chip and Val’s wedding and cut out of the reception early to meet Hannah at Garner Adventure. He suspected that she wanted to pump him for details on the Big Event, like women were inclined to do.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Hannah sat on the weight bench, watching him strap his feet into the NordicTrack ski machine for the first time. “I’ve never seen you use this before.”
How she’d become his exercise muse he’d never know. But her being in the room kept his mind off the pain and motivated him to try harder.
“Compared to the weights and the dead lifts, this should be easy,” he told her. “I just want to see how long and hard I can go.”
“For Royal Slope?”
“Yeah.” He glided back and forth. Slow at first, picking up the pace when he felt certain that the movement wouldn’t make his leg buckle. So far, so good. Then again when he did it for real, he wouldn’t have a machine holding him up.
“Did you tell your physical therapist about this?”
The Most Wonderful Time Page 15