Mom had told Colleen first, to judge her reaction before breaking the news to Maddie. They no longer loved each other the way they should. Colleen had a family of her own, and Baby was settled into her life, so it shouldn’t make any difference. Things would be amicable; they’d still spend holidays together. They were still friends, after all.
Then Wayne died, and Baby fell apart. They’d put the divorce on hold. As long as Baby lived with them, they would stay together. They’d do anything for Baby.
She could see Bobby’s shadow moving around in the workshop. Since he’d installed air conditioning, he kept the door closed. He’d taken most of their pool savings fund for this darn workshop, and she wouldn’t let him forget the sacrifice she’d made. The only thing that made it better was that Bobby contributed what he made on his extra projects to the fund.
She felt the urge to knock first. Silly, it wasn’t a house. She pushed open the door.
Bobby looked up from where he was about to push a board through the table saw. “What’s up?”
He never smiled at her anymore. Had her own marriage gotten stale? It was too soon for that. “Maddie’s kidnapped our son.” She couldn’t even manage indignation in her voice anymore.
“I heard the message.”
“And you’re not bothered? She’s taking him out with that strange man from the marina.”
“Baby’s not going to let anything happen to our son, Colleen. Since Wayne’s accident, she’s the most careful person in the world.”
“You would take her side.”
Bobby, covered in a fine layer of sawdust, returned to his work without comment. He looked very manly, big and handsome…unavailable. Like before they’d started dating, when he was immersed in his work, and she’d marvel that she was attracted to a redhead.
“Want to get a bite? See a movie or something?” she asked.
“Can’t,” he said without even looking up. “I promised this bookcase would be done yesterday. ‘Sides, I already grabbed a sub at Homer’s on the way home from work.”
She pulled her hair back and nodded, but couldn’t get any words past the knot in her throat. Bobby’s world seemed wrapped up in that workshop, and he spent more and more time there. She walked to the house and grabbed her car keys. If she’d lost control of everything else in her world, the least she could do was try to stop her son from going out on that boat with Baby.
Maddie hauled a gas can out of the storage area next to the pool. “The gas gauge doesn’t work, so we always fill it up before we leave.”
Chase took the can from her and walked to the little dock where the boat was tied. “You rode around in a boat with a faulty gas gauge?”
Q jabbed his hand at the piling. “Look, crabs!” He’d already climbed on the boat after Maddie had towel-dried him.
Her eyes still looked red, and it hadn’t helped that Q had, upon seeing her, said, “Uncle Maddie, you’re a ten on the sad meter!”
Chase already felt like a heel for making her cry, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself from pushing her. Maybe he was a terrible person deep inside, a bully, or just cold and insensitive.
Everything went gray for a moment as a woman’s voice echoed in his head. Can you ever love me more than sailing? Tell me, Chase, are you even capable of loving someone?
He felt his stomach tighten at the tears in her voice, and the resignation that flowed through him. But before he could hear his answer, Maddie’s voice pulled him back.
“Don’t go on about Wayne not being careful and getting us stranded. He knew what he was doing. He wouldn’t have let anything—what’s wrong?”
“I’m…trying not to go on about Wayne not being careful.” When she didn’t seem to buy that, he crouched down to take in the faded words on the side of the boat. “You even painted Dinky on it.”
“Chase did that.” Her eyes bugged. “Wayne! Wayne did that.”
He stood, trying not to be annoyed that she’d called her dead husband Chase.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I don’t have you two confused. Really. You’re nothing like him.”
“Grab the cooler and let’s head out,” he said instead of saying that he wasn’t sure she could ever get over her husband. Sometimes she made progress, but other times it seemed hopeless. Then again, what did he know about love? Maybe nothing at all.
He helped her down into the boat, but she paused in front of him and said, “I’m sorry” again.
“It’s all right.”
He didn’t want to see that pained expression on her face anymore, so he squeezed her hand and smiled. She smiled, too, and he felt something in his chest shift. The same way he’d felt when he’d kissed her in the house. It wasn’t a sexual kiss—that he could have handled. It was an I-want-to-take-away-all-your-pain-and-make-you-mine kiss, and that’s what scared him. He could admit—to himself anyway—that he hated to see her wallowing in memories of making love with her dead husband. He might not know who he was, but he had enough of a male ego to hate when she thought about Wayne when she was with him. He’d lashed out at her because of that, and then when he’d made her cry…he’d felt like a sea slug.
Having her in his arms was the only thing that felt right in his life. When she’d admitted she couldn’t stop thinking about him, it had nearly torn him apart.
“Looks like the gauge works now,” he said, forcing his thoughts back to the matter at hand once he’d started the motor. His voice sounded thick and edgy.
“Dad must have fixed it.”
Like a responsible man, he wanted to say, but held the words inside. The Dinky was a little skiff with an engine made for puttering. The bottom was flat and covered with plastic turf. Maddie piled towels on the floor to make a comfortable place to sit as he steered away from the dock. Q was leaning over the bow watching the water.
The sun had at least another hour before setting, so Chase tooled around some of the small islands that bordered the shore. The Gulf was as smooth as ice with only an occasional roll. He sat on the bench by the motor, and she sat on the towels and looked at peace.
“Uncle Maddie, look at the fish!” Q said.
“Careful, don’t fall in.” She looked where he pointed and held onto him.
She was wearing white shorts and a long-sleeved, baggy shirt that danced in the breeze. Chase shifted his weight to the other side of the bench and watched her behind as she leaned over the side. She wasn’t skinny, just little. She might not be curvy, but she was all woman. Even if she was giggling with Q. Chase didn’t like what she was doing to him. Not just physically, but inside. She was making him want her. The trucker woman or even the sexy woman who’d offered him a ride and a place to stay for the night and had thrown him a condom…neither had sparked any interest. He’d headed on without regret.
Then there was Maddie.
She chose that moment to turn and look at him. He couldn’t help but smile, and when she smiled back, he felt that shift again. Damn. Maybe it would have been better if Barnie had fired him. He would have left with a little cash and without this tangle inside. Even if he couldn’t love, he could sure feel.
When the sun began to paint the sky orange and pink, he cut the engine and drifted. Q had spent the last hour looking at everything and scrambling all over the boat. Once he’d come up to Chase and said, “Thanks for taking us out on the Dinky.”
“It was your Uncle Maddie’s idea.”
“Yeah, but she wouldn’t go without you.”
He’d scrubbed Q’s red curls made even more vibrant by the dying sunlight. Now the boy was settled on the floor with his soda and sub. “I’m surprised he doesn’t call you Uncle Baby,” chase said to Maddie.
“He did at the beginning, but it sounded odd. Even he questioned it, knowing that he was a baby.”
He arched his eyebrow at her, indicating that it sounded odd anyway. “Well, there’s one person you don’t have to train to call you Maddie if you ever decided to ditch the ‘baby.’”
Q fro
wned. “I’m not a baby, and you can’t ditch me!” He took a big bite of his sub, obviously not really concerned.
Maddie pressed her finger on the tip of his nose, “You’re not and we certainly would never ditch you. We’re talking about my nickname. Baby.”
He wrinkled his nose. “Yeah, why does everyone call you Baby? ’Cause you’re not one.”
Chase gave her the same questioning look when she turned to him for an answer. “Well,” she said, “I got sick a lot when I was a kid and somehow it stuck.”
“Like the gum I stick under the table,” Q said with a conspiratorial snort.
She nodded, an interesting smile on her face. “Yeah, a lot like that.”
There were a few other boats out, but none nearby. The only sounds were the buzz of distant engines and an occasional squawk from a seagull. He glanced back toward Sugar Bay’s rocky shores. The marina and Maddie’s house were farther south.
“Sit and eat,” she said, patting the spot beside her. She laid out the food and cracked open the cans of soda.
As Chase settled in beside her, he realized this was the most peaceful he’d felt since…well, since he could remember. They ate in silence, absorbing the breeze and the sunset. The soft sigh she occasionally released penetrated to his very soul.
It was the first time he’d felt like he had a soul.
After they ate, Q snuggled in front of her, and she leaned back against Chase. He had the oddest sensation of being a family, which was a crazy thought, and one that kept him from saying anything to break the spell.
Once the sun had set, Chase noticed Q’s slanted position. He’d fallen asleep. The last of the pink was being leached from the sky, which had turned a gray-blue.
“Colleen accuses me of making everything into an issue about me. I was embarrassed to realize she was right. In our friendship…” Maddie turned to him, her shoulder brushing against his chest. “This is a friendship, isn’t it?”
He brushed a strand of hair from her cheek. “Sure, it is.”
She turned around again. “It seems that it’s been about me. I mean, me and Wayne, me and my family. I want to know about you.”
“There isn’t much to know.” His laugh came out soft instead of bitter. “There isn’t much I know.” He felt that strange ache again, knowing it was better if he didn’t spill, but wanting to anyway. Wanting to tell her how empty the memory of the woman’s voice made him feel.
“You don’t remember anything about your life?”
“A few images of being a kid.”
She turned around again. “Really?”
He shrugged. “They’re almost like watching a movie. I don’t feel anything, no attachment to them. But I’m pretty sure they’re mine.”
She turned sideways and rested against his leg. Q resettled against her, and she dropped a sweet kiss on his forehead. “Like what?”
“I’m racing a small sailboat. I can see the markers and the other kids I’m racing against. It’s a sunny day, windy. In another, I’m playing hide and seek. Or maybe just hiding. And…” He looked at her, but found his gaze going to her mouth. “Once I saw ice.”
“Ice?”
He sank into the memory again. He could feel this one. “The sun hasn’t quite come up yet. I’m alone. I mean, completely alone. I’m on a boat, but I can’t really see it. There’s a scraping sound, and when I turn to see what it is, I see…glaciers. It’s beautiful and eerie at the same time. It’s like I’m at the edge of the world. And it feels right being alone like that. Last night I saw myself on a boat during a race. I was calling maneuvers. I could feel my desire to win so clearly, I could taste it.”
“Who do you think you are?” she asked, studying him as though she could find the answer.
“I think about it all the time. Every guy I meet, I wonder if I’m like him. And I’ve met all kinds, believe me. I think I liked to party. I used to want a drink really bad, but then I’d get a bad feeling about it and not have one.” He ran his finger down her arm. “I don’t know if I’ll even like who I am.”
“Then… you could come back here and be this Chase.”
“The books said it might take one or more cues to bring back my memories. When I find out where I belong, and who I am, I’m going to become him again. That’s the way it works in cases like mine. They call it”—it was something he didn’t like to think about—“psychogenic amnesia. In my head. It might be a combination of organic—brought on by injury—and psychogenic. That something traumatic had happened, probably connected to falling off the boat. Combined with floating around in the ocean believing I was going to die, it was enough for my brain to lock away my identity. It’ll come back; it has to come back. I can’t go on living like a nobody.”
“You’re not going to be a bad person, Chase. I know, because of who you are now.”
He ducked his head and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Like making you cry.”
“It hurt when you were saying those words, but it was worth you admitting that maybe Wayne did send you.”
He met those beautiful hazel eyes that made her look both naïve and sexy at the same time. He’d never forget her impassioned words about not being able to stop thinking about him. “I won’t forget you either.”
She smiled, though he caught a hint of embarrassment at her admission. “I wish you didn’t have to leave.” She ran her fingers down a lock of his hair. “I know you do.” She dropped her hand. “Do you think you’re married? Or involved with someone?”
“I didn’t have a wedding ring or a tan line. If I sailed a lot, though, I may not have worn one.” He glanced down at his left hand, thinking of the woman who wanted his love so badly. “Whoever is part of my life probably thinks I’m dead.”
“They’ll want to know that you’re alive. They’re suffering, the same way I and everyone in Wayne’s life did. You have to find a way to let them know.”
“I will, when the time is right.”
“The day I told you about Wayne leaving, that’s why you asked if I would miss him if he were lost at sea.”
Now he felt embarrassed.
She tilted her head, studying him. “It seems strange that you have a whole life you don’t know about. You might have been madly in love with someone, living with her.”
He felt that pang again but forced out, “Maybe.”
“You might have children.” Her gaze took in his face. “I have to keep reminding myself of that. I think…I sometimes find myself thinking that you’re mine, in a way.”
The concept of belonging to Maddie sent a strange sensation curling through his body. But he wasn’t, and couldn’t. “I’m your friend, so in a way, you’re right.”
She smiled, but it lacked the sparkle of her previous smile. “But you’ll leave, and I probably won’t see you again. When you get your memory back, will you remember everything that’s happened between then and the time you were plucked out of the ocean?”
“I think so.” At the worry he saw in her face, he added, “I promised I wouldn’t forget you. And what about you? When I leave, are you going to go back to moping around for your husband?”
She pressed her forehead to his chest. “Maybe I’ll be moping around for you.”
He threaded his hands through her hair and felt her shiver. If Q wasn’t lying there like a little kewpie doll, Chase might have tilted Maddie’s head back and kissed her. Good thing Q was there. He kissed the top of her head instead. “We’d better get back. It’s getting dark.”
He could hear it in his voice, could feel it deep inside. He was getting too close to her. Maybe it was already too late. She drew him with her honesty and sweet sensuality, and he was sure he’d never met anyone like her.
She cleared her throat and moved back, nudging Q to wakefulness. It was dark blue out, mere degrees from darkness. He started the engine and headed back to Maddie’s house. She was still sitting on the bottom of the boat, Q snuggled into her embrace.
A jarring thud sent the boat s
ideways. Maddie stiffened. “What was that? Are we sinking?”
Chase kicked into reverse to see what they’d hit. A large chunk of wood floated in the dark water, nearly camouflaged. It made him think of the piece of raft he’d been found holding onto.
“What is it?” Q asked sleepily, watching Chase pull up a piece of it.
“Too big for a trap. Maybe part of an old boat. I’m going to steer it in toward land. Don’t want anyone else hitting it.”
The wood was slimy, but he got a hold on it as he steered the boat forward. Maddie was still staring at it.
“What’s wrong?” He hoped she wasn’t imagining boat wrecks.
“That was floating out there, where anyone could hit it.”
“We did hit it.”
“I know.” Her voice sounded faint, and she still hadn’t stopped looking at it. “What if we’d been going fast? What if we’d hit it then?”
Now he knew what she was talking about. Wayne speeding through the dark. “You could do some damage. Maybe even send someone flying out of the boat.”
She glanced at Q, then up to him. “Like when Wayne went fast out there. And he said there wasn’t anything we could hit. He was wrong, wasn’t he?”
He could go into a long dissertation on how wrong he’d been, but he only nodded.
“We were lucky.”
“Yeah, you were lucky.” That’s all he was going to say. He’d already made her cry once, and she looked spooked as it was.
She wrapped her arms around herself and didn’t say anything until they reached the dock. They tied up the Dinky and Q, revived from his nap, ran into the screened enclosure and jumped in the pool.
“Q, we’ve got to get you home,” Maddie said, walking to the door. “Come on, I’m in enough trouble as it is.” She gathered up the bag of clothes.
“They going to be mad at you?” Chase asked.
“Oh, yeah. I’ve been causing a bit of trouble lately. I hope Colleen and Bobby spent some time together. They’ve got to patch things up.”
He squeezed her shoulders. “You becoming a troublemaker in your old age?”
She laughed, and for a moment, dipped her cheek to brush against his arm. “You’re a good influence on me.”
Heavenly Stranger Page 13