I was assigned somewhat Hastily, for the previous holder of my new Position had met with an untimely End while exploring the Rooftops of the Crescent in which Fury's House was located. A frantic Request from the Wizard implied some Emergency, and Tabitha, the Dean, instructed me and sent me packing to my new Task with less than dignified Speed.
It was the Habit of my dear School to send a new Graduate to her first position in a Hansom Cab, which was a most civil Gesture. When the Driver, a rather surly and uncommunicative Person, deposited me at the curbstone before Number Six Camberly Crescent, I tipped him grudgingly before taking down my small Satchel and moving up the steps to the handsome carved Door.
A very young Maidservant opened at my Ring, and something about her Manner aroused my Interest. As yet, I was too young to understand the complex Attitudes of Humanity toward the simple fact of Reproduction, but I sensed a bit of Jealousy as she bent to take my Belongings (which were less than a handful to one of Human Stature) and led me down a spacious Hallway to the door of a Library. This puzzled me, for what could a Woman have to fear, as a Rival for Affection, from a Cat?
Of course, now that I am old in the Service of Humanity, I understand that Logic is no Element of Human Emotion, and I know, as I did not know then, that the Girl was jealous of Fury's Obsession with things magical and of Anyone or anything who might be Helpful to him in those Pursuits.
I was not thinking of such Matters, however, as I stepped softly through the wide Doors and looked up at my first Associate in the Arcane Arts. To my Surprise, I did not have to look far up, for Fury was a veritable Dwarf of a Man, and my Head (for I have always been uncommonly large for my Species) came almost to the Watch-chain that stretched across his Waistcoat.
He did not make the usual polite Remarks expected when meeting a new Acquaintance but plunged instantly into an incoherent Account of his Needs. My Teachers had trained their Students to deal with such Human Impatience, however. I removed my Novice's Collar, which was no longer an Indication of my Status, and put it into his Hand.
Understand, dear Reader, that when I speak now of Words between Familiar and Sorcerer, I do not mean verbal Speech. The Communication between those in my Profession and their Associates is far more Delicate and Silent. Yet I said to him, in a Manner that he understood instantly, "My dear Aldonious Fury, do sit down and send that impertinent Girl after Tea. Then we shall speak of your Problems in civilized Conversation. I cannot understand what you need, if you rant and ramble."
He had the grace to Blush. Sorcerers are, I have learned from long Experience, an impatient and arrogant Lot. Only a Cat, of all living Creatures including non-sorcerous Humanity, has the Confidence and Control needed to deal Rationally with them. Knowing that he had met his Match, Fury sank into a deep Chair and rang the Bell with unnecessary Emphasis.
"Tea, Amelia," he said. "And take Hermione's things to her quarters, afterward. Be respectful, mind you. I've noticed that sidelong glance you're giving my new helper. Don't think you can hide anything from me!"
The Admonition did not, I suspected at once, do anything at all to help my Position. The Glance Amelia sent in my Direction was filled with Malice that had only been Intensified by Fury's Words. But she left without Comment, and I turned my Attention to this, my very first Wizard, except for those Few who visited the Institution in which I was trained, in order to add their own input to our Education.
Although Fury seemed unwilling to indulge in conversational Niceties, I was able to convey the Greetings of his old Acquaintances among my Instructors, as well as to give him some Notion of my own Qualifications. All the While, I studied this Man with whom my professional Life would begin.
He was not a prepossessing Person. Short, square, and red-faced, he glared at Objects as well as at living Beings. In addition, he fidgeted with the tassels of his peaked Cap, the dangling chain at his Waistcoat, and the objets d'art on the small Tabouret beside his Chair.
His Tea, when it came, smelled strongly of Spirituous Liquor, but the Dose seemed to cheer him and to quiet his Nerves to some Extent. When I had calmly lapped my Saucer of Milk, I returned to my own low Chair and waited for him to begin whatever Tale of Woe had brought me here so precipitously.
Amelia took out the tea things at last. When she was well out of Earshot he drew together his bushy white Brows and his intensely blue Eyes shone out like small Creatures hiding in Undergrowth. My Paws twitched, feeling the need to Pounce, but I managed to control them as he began to speak.
"Ah ... hmmm ... Hermione," he said, his fingers madly engaged with his Watch-chain, "you must realize that a man in my position has a great deal of stress to deal with. A great deal. And calls upon my time – why hardly a day goes by that someone, great or humble, old or young, does not come to my door with life-or-death problems that only my arts can solve."
To an extent that was True, and I took his Words with some Seriousness. The World of Men is not conducted rationally, as that of my Kind seems to be. What their Laws and their Rituals confuse and disrupt must often be unraveled by the Magic of such Practitioners as Fury. I nodded solemnly.
"This means that I am frequently – almost constantly – exhausted, both physically and mentally. You can see that, I am certain," he continued. "Such weariness must be eased in some manner, and I personally prefer brandy to other methods. This can, though it seldom does, lead to a certain lack of alertness on my part."
Again I nodded. We had been given in-depth training in dealing with drunken Wizards.
"A week past, I found myself in need of such relaxation," Fury said, "and I made the major error of indulging in such unguarded behavior in the company of a – I will not term him friend. In the company of one whose perfidy I did not, at that time, suspect. To my consternation, I find that while I was incapacitated this person filched from me a certain personal item that has given him unacceptable influence over my actions at unexpected times, unless I am totally on guard. I must have a ... something like a secret spy who will infiltrate his home and steal back the ... matter that he took from me."
I felt a strange Excitement fill my heart. No Familiar that we had ever studied was assigned such an esoteric Task, and it was clear that my new Associate was in DIRE NEED of such help. The use of personal Items by the less meticulous of the sorcerous Breed is well known among my Kind.
Assuming an impersonal and professional Tone, I asked, "And exactly what did this Person take from you? A lock of Hair? A Clipping from your Nails? I must know, if I am to Find and Return it to you."
At that Moment, Fury began to shiver as if taken with a Chill. His Mouth opened, shut, opened, shut, and it was obvious to me that he was unable to Speak. Instantly, I was at his side, rubbing my Fur against his right Hand, licking his Fingers, lending him my Strength to overcome this Attack from outside. My Efforts were not without Effect, for soon Fury closed his Mouth firmly, sighed with relief, and relaxed his convulsed Body.
"Thank you." His voice was weak, but the Words seemed Heartfelt. He cleared his Throat, coughed several times, and straightened in his Chair. "Yes, you must know. It is embarrassing to admit, but this man – this Damien – removed a birthmark from my hip while I was ... incapacitated. This seizure that you have seen is a result of his use of my own skin against me. How he knew of its existence I cannot imagine, but in some manner he had learned that I had such a mark."
"I understand what must be done," I told him. "I will study any Sketch that you might prepare for me, in order to give me some Notion of his House. Then I will go to my Rooms and prepare myself. Tonight I shall enter his Domain and find the thing that you must have returned to you." I studied his Face as I spoke, seeing his Look of great Pleasure and Relief.
"Then I will entrust to you a talisman that will safeguard you from his spells," the Wizard said. He took from his Waistcoat Pocket a thin length of Chain that glinted in the Light. "Slip this about your Neck," he said. "Until this misfortune, it has protected me well from the workings of my pee
rs. Only the use of my own skin has overcome its potency, I am certain."
Nightfall found me in the Gardens of a modest House some Blocks from that of Aldonious Fury. The Shrubbery was untrimmed, the flowerbeds untended. The back of the House itself was shabby, the paint peeling, the brickwork crumbling.
The scullery Window was open a hand's width, and I set my claws firmly into the thick Vine of ivy that climbed the Wall. Once I was on the Sill, I slipped into that narrow Crack, blessing the flexible Muscle and Bone of my Breed.
Inside it was dark, as was Proper at such an hour. The Kitchen beyond the musty scullery stank of Garbage, and I knew that Damien, whatever else he might be, was a poorly served Master. But I made my way through the noisome Darkness into the back corridor that I had noted on the Map provided by Fury. There I found the back Staircase, used by servants, and my quick Paws fled silently up the steep Flights.
I did not seek out the Sleeping Chamber of this rival Wizard. No, he would, we had agreed, keep his ugly Experiment in his Laboratory, shut away from the Eyes of Servants. The Law was very strict in dealing with the use of the Black Arts against the Life or the Peace of its Citizens. Damien, whatever his Skill, would not want to have his Neck stretched on a Gibbet or his Body chained in a dark Prison. Wizards, I was taught, value their Skins and their Comfort more than Most.
The Door was, of course, locked securely. But a Familiar has many ways of entering locked Rooms, and I sniffed about for a Rathole in the wainscoting of the corridor until I found one of suitable Size and great Age. Creeping through it, which was not easy even for one trained to slip through tiny Openings, I found myself amid the dust of generations inside the Wall. Luckily, this was a Wall added after the original Construction of the Pile, and it consisted only of two thick Layers of Paneling fastened to heavy Uprights. I followed my Nose until I found another Rathole that emerged behind the Tapestries of the Wizard's Inner Sanctum.
There was a dim Light burning, but that did not disturb me. Fury had said that he himself left Illumination in his secret Workrooms at Night. I squeezed through the hole and flattened myself along the Wall without even causing the Tapestry to ripple. This was, I congratulated myself, going to be a very easy Assignment.
Then I froze, every Whisker stiff with caution. Footsteps moved over the Parquet beyond the fabric, and the Motion of a large Body caused the Air to swirl against my Paws. The Wizard was, I realized with Horror, still up and working at his arcane Tasks.
I paused, thinking deeply. I had come so far. It was a Pity to waste the Effort already expended in this Venture. I would wait until Damien completed his Work, lying silently in place until he saw Fit to remove himself to Bed.
Unfortunately, the Man seemed set to work the Night through. He puttered and pottered about, clinking Vessels, raising Stenches, amid the hissing of Steams and the muttering of boiling Retorts. My back cramped and my Legs stiffened, but still he would not finish his Work and go.
It seemed that Hours passed, though possibly it was less Time than I thought. At last I heard a Chuckle beyond the Tapestry. With a hiss of Dismay, I realized that a pair of Toes had intruded into my space beneath the wall Covering.
"Kitty-kitty-kitty!" shrilled a hateful Voice. "I have known you were there for hours, Kitty. You had best come out and let me look at you. If you are a mere mouser, I shall only use you to test my poisons. But if you should be a Familiar, sent by one of my victims to spy upon my endeavors, yours will be an interesting death!"
I thought with great Rapidity. The Chain would betray me instantly, I knew. Yet I must not lose its Protection. In one long gulp, I swallowed the gleaming Length. Then I said, "Mew?" in my most innocent and affecting Tone and batted at the Tapestry with one playful Paw.
A long, chemical-stained Hand reached for me, and I let myself go limp and began to Purr. The appearance of stupid Complacency can, my Instructors said, be more useful than an arsenal of Weapons, when used Correctly. As the Wizard held me aloft and Observed me, I could see the Doubt in his Gaze.
I purred more loudly, arching my back against his Arm and rubbing my Head against the front of his terribly dirty Robe. He dropped me instantly, and I landed Softly and looked up. "Mew?" I inquired in a melting Tone.
"I thought him intelligent enough at least to find another familiar," Damien grumbled. "The old fool just sits in his house and trembles and foams whenever I send the fit upon him, I suppose. Damme! And what shall I try on you, Cat? The undetectable potion for removing wealthy great-aunts or the agonizing dose that avenges wrongs and insults offered by unthinking idiots?"
I felt the chill of the chain in my Stomach, and in some Manner it comforted me. We of the Familiar profession have, as well, secret arts of our own, and I felt myself at least the Equal of this arrogant Man. But I only mewed again and rubbed against his Ankles, managing to leave a trail of loose Hairs that encircled his Legs.
He was muttering again, and his Words confirmed my own Conviction that he was one of those pitiful Beings who is contemptuous of the Powers lent to their Peers by Familiars. It was no wonder that this Man was, according to his own Words, conducting some sort of Campaign against others of his own kind because of real or imagined Slights.
He paused, as if suddenly comprehending the Spell that I was, with the help of that ingested Chain, weaving about him. His Lips curled, and he raised his Hands, gesturing as he began a Chant. It was one that I was taught to counteract when I was a mere Kit, and I diverted its Impact without pausing in my own Efforts.
Damien glared down at me, but now his hands were frozen in place, and his Feet were immobile. I continued the Purr of Enchantment while weaving my Pattern about his Legs, knowing that he would be confined to stillness for many minutes, once the Spell was in place.
When Damien was completely helpless, I conducted my Search of the Laboratory. I found the pitiful patch of Skin, with its dark red blotch, stretched about a crude figure carved from Soap. Beside it were several Instruments, obviously intended for Use against my poor Master. Skewers and candles and Rasps told me much about the ugly Imagination of this curious Wizard.
After detaching the bit of Skin, I thought for a moment. Then I took up a Scalpel, probably the very One with which Damien had detached that Birthmark from Aldonious Fury, and sliced a bit from the Calf of his right Leg. It hardly bled, so Neat was my touch, but I knew that this, in the Hands of one who had reason to distrust him, would quite possibly keep him Honest for a Time.
I regurgitated the Chain beside his Feet and gave a last triumphant Purr before slipping again behind the Tapestry and leaving the House of Damien.
My return to the Fury Household was triumphant. Not only did I return the stolen Part to my Associate, I also brought a most interesting Speculation as to the way in which Damien had learned of the existence of that Birthmark, which was in a place not accessible to any except Fury's Intimates.
When called upon the carpet, Amelia wept. She confessed, after many Tears, that she had betrayed her Master to the wizard, in the belief that the skin would be used in the making of a Love Potion that would make him hers forever. When Fury began having Seizures, she was Terrified, yet she did not know what to do to Restore what she had caused to be Stolen.
"With all your faults, Aldonious, I love you," she sniffled. "I take great care of you, you must admit that. And I even help with your little nasties up in the workroom."
To my surprise, his eyes filled with Tears. "I know, Amelia. You're a good girl, in your way. I don't know how I'd get along without you, even after this."
As I said before, Humanity has most unrealistic Attitudes toward Reproduction. The answer was obvious to me.
"Marry her, you Fool," I told Fury. "Then you will never have to try to do without her. That's all she wanted, in the Beginning."
His small blue eyes filled with Amazement. Then he began to Smile.
I attended their Wedding, which was held quietly at a Registry Office. I wore a new Collar made from that magical Chain tha
t Fury had given me. Afterward I gave them my Blessings, and my Resignation.
Amelia would take excellent Care of the wizard, I understood. I was not certain that she would be as careful of Me, however, for I now understood that two Females sometimes make awkward tenants of the same House.
So that is the tale of Hermione as a Spy. Only once in my long Career has that happened, and it is with mixed Emotions that I recall that perilous Expedition. Now I know that it might well have had Results far other than those that occurred, and I am glad that it happened when I was young and ignorant of the many Pitfalls of the World as well as the endless Inventiveness of Wizards.
THE VERY EARLY HERMIONE
Stonehallow
10th March
I had not Thought to take up Pen again, here in my Later Years, yet Those of my Order who have arranged this Place of Recuperation have repeatedly Pled with me to chronicle the Events of my Early Life, while there is Time in which to Complete them. While I am not Particularly Enamored of the Notion, so cordial has been my Hostess and so Concerned have been my Peers that I feel Obligated to Comply.
Recalling my Kittenhood seems much like trying to remember Ancient History, so Busy has been my Life. Pernilla, the Lady Witch who has graciously accepted me into her Family while I recover from the Malaise of the past Months, has taken Pains to make me think of Old Times, and this often reminds me of Events long Forgotten.
Conversing so, Pernilla and I have Brought to Light many Interesting and Unusual Situations, for it seems that I was Fated, even as a Kit, to Experience Oddities. As we formed Dried Herbs into Capsules for healing the Sick, Pernilla evoked from my Ancient Memory what must be the Oldest Recollection of all.
It was very far in the Past, at least for one of my Species, when the Reverend Talley, Examiner of Consciences, came to the Manor where my Mother and her Master lived and Worked. One of the Servants called him the Inquisitor, and so I thought of Him, when I thought of Him at all, until he Disappeared from my Memory. Yet one of Pernilla's Remarks as we worked Together brought back that Time and that Man with Sharpness and Immediacy.
THE TWILIGHT DANCER Page 11