“If you do,” she said.
“Unless I really start putting on the pounds, the ruse wouldn’t last long,” I told her.
“Or you could just go get pregnant,” Susan said.
“Shut the fuck up. That’s the second time someone said that today—third if you count Cameron saying he’d like to make a sibling for Sarah one day.”
“Holy shit, he said that to you?” Susan said.
“Kind of. Where’s your car?” I asked.
“Beza and I carpooled today; she dropped me off on the way to pick up the kids. So you can give me a ride home and give me all the juicy details.”
“Alright,” I said, unlocking my car remotely.
When we were both inside, Susan turned to me. “He came to your work?”
“Yeah, I closed early so I could call the company that made an offer on the shop.” As we drove to her house, I gave her all the details of the phone call with Mr. Hamm, the one with Nicole Murphy, and what Cameron and I had decided about our relationship.
“I have always thought that boy had a beautiful soul,” Susan said.
“He’s pretty special,” I said as I turned onto her street.
“Are you going to lose your shit if he starts dating someone else?”
“I’d like to think that I’m the kind of person who could be okay with him doing what I’m asking for of him. If that makes any sense,” I said.
“Yeah, it does. Well, Beza and I will definitely watch Sarah for your date this Friday,” she said.
“Honestly Susan, I really feel like I’m asking too much of you two. You guys don’t need to do everything for me. Sharon is always begging for time with Sarah and my dad doesn’t work on Fridays anymore. So together, I think they could manage things without it being too stressful.”
“Well, it’s up to you, but watching Sarah is never too much for us. Actually sometimes it’s less work since she and Aiden entertain each other for hours.”
“Okay, well, I’ll ask my dad and if he says he can’t, could she stay with you?” I asked. “I also feel kind of bad passing her off to other people so much.”
“Stop with the mommy guilt,” Susan said.
“Fine,” I said as I parked on the street before her house.
Day Three: Four-thirty
After grabbing the overnight bag from the backseat, I followed Susan up to her house. As we stepped inside, I dropped my bag and purse onto the bright green entrance table. The colorful interior of the familiar house immediately made me smile. The multicolored furnishings and walls managed to both clash and complement each other. Large multi-colored tapestries covered every wall.
I paused by one, touching its edges. “I loved Peru, I wish we could go back there someday.”
“We should, we’ll do it when the kids are teenagers or something,” Susan said, running a finger along the tapestry’s edge.
We walked into the dining room, following the excited voices. Sarah and Aiden sat at the table, excitedly spooning macaroni and cheese into their mouths and talking to each other with their mouths full.
Beza was laughing so hard, tears were running down her face.
“You guys look like you’re having fun,” Susan said, giving Beza a kiss before taking a seat next to Aiden.
“How was yoga?” Beza asked.
“She tricked me, it was prenatal yoga,” I said, pointing at Susan. “I always fall for these things.” I shook my head as I sat down, swinging an arm around Sarah’s chair.
“And you always will,” Susan said. “It’s because you’re so trusting. You and Beza are the exact same, always believing everything everyone tells you.”
“And we should know better too, with that one,” Beza said, pointing at Susan.
“With both of you, you’ve been pretty devious lately too. I think Susan is a bad influence on you,” I told Beza.
“Oh, I definitely am,” Susan said.
“I’m a good influence on Sarah,” Aiden informed us. “When I’m at the playground, people don’t pick on her.”
“That means you’re a good influence on the other kids, baby.” Susan said, her fingers running through Aiden’s braids. “Do other kids pick on you, Sarah?”
“No,” Sarah said.
“Are the other kids nice to you?” Beza asked.
“Yes,” Sarah said, taking another big bite of pasta.
Aiden said, “Only sometimes they’re mean. There are some girls in second grade that say mean things if Sarah’s not listening to the teacher and they tattle on her to get her into trouble. They’re mean.”
“Sometimes kids your age really care about the rules. And if they see a kid breaking the rules, it gets them really upset,” I told him.
“I don’t care about the rules. I just want people to be happy,” Aiden said.
Beza and I shared an amused look.
“Well, I hope you at least follow the rules,” Beza said.
“I do, Mom,” he said, rolling his eyes and giving an exasperated huff. He threw up his hands. “I just don’t care if other kids break the rules and I never ever tattle.”
“That’s my boy.” Susan gave him a kiss on the head.
“Sarah knows she’s not supposed to do gymnastics at school,” I said, looking over at Sarah.
She groaned with her mouth still full of food.
I held up my hands in surrender. “It’s important.”
She made groaned again and glared at me.
“Okay, okay,” I said, half-laughing.
“You ladies hungry? I’ll start on some dinner,” Susan said, making to stand.
“Want me to help?” I asked her.
“How about, I cook, you clean,” Susan said.
“Jamie doesn’t need to clean,” Beza said, “You cook, I’ll clean.”
“No Beza, let me do it this once, please?” I said.
She grinned. “Okay, if you really, really want to.”
When the kids finished their macaroni, they jumped up and ran outside. I watched through the open door as Sarah climbed up into the giant trampoline and Aiden followed her.
“Did they go on the trampoline?” Beza asked, craning her neck.
“Yeah,” I said.
“Okay,” Beza said, sighing and getting up from the table to follow them out. “You need to take turns flipping okay? I don’t want any more collisions. Whoever’s turn it is, the other one stands on the side,” Beza called out.
“We know Mom!” Aiden yelled at her.
“Don’t yell at me, Aiden, or it’s going to be a time out,” she said.
Aiden huffed and muttered something under his breath, but followed Beza’s directions.
“He’s always angry at me lately, and it’s only me, he never even talks back to Susan,” Beza frowned as we sat together at the outside table.
“I feel you, Sarah’s always mad at me lately, too. It’s like I’m constantly annoying her.
“Aside from that, how you feeling? We haven’t really talked in a while.”
“Oh, I’m good. Things are going pretty well at work lately. I haven’t been working much with Karen Blanche lately, and that’s always really nice,” she gave me an amused smile.
“Ha. You know that woman from the barbeque last weekend? She’s friends with your boss.”
Beza laughed. “Yeah, Carrie Kelly, I actually know her. She didn’t even recognize me though, and I didn’t correct her. I’ve worked with her company for eleven weddings, they’re ridiculously overpriced and so snobby—but Karen Blanche insists on using them. I’m not a fan of Carrie.”
“Really? She seemed so nice,” I said.
“Well, I don’t really know her that well, just in a work relationship. She’s probably very different socially.”
“That’s so weird, I didn’t know you knew how to dislike people,” I said.
She rolled her eyes. “Well, I usually don’t. Except of course for Karen, but there are some people I’d rather not spend my time around.”
&nbs
p; “Yeah, I hear you.”
My phone beeped with a text and I checked the screen. “Speak of the devil,” I said, grinning.
“Carrie?” Beza asked.
“No, sorry, Patrick, I guess we weren’t actually talking about him.”
“But you were thinking about him?”
“Maybe, maybe not,” I said as I read the message.
Patrick: Are we still on for dinner tomorrow night?
Me: I’m not sure if the food they serve there really qualifies as ‘dinner’, but I’m definitely up for whooping your ass at arcade games.
Patrick: That will never happen, I am an arcade master.
Me: I have a second degree black belt in arcade games, so we shall see.
Patrick: Want to meet there at six-thirty?
Me: We’ll be there.
I stowed my phone and looked up into Beza’s grinning face.
“So… How’s everything going with you?” she asked.
“Fine. I don’t know—I might be selling my coffee shop tomorrow.”
“That’s really big,” she said.
“It feels really big. I’d be selling it to another coffee shop chain and they want to buy everything, the machines, the displays, furniture, even the signs and stuff so the shop will kind of still be there. I’m sure they’ll change the appearance somewhat, since they’re a chain and they all look pretty alike, but I’ll be able to go back and visit.”
“I remember the opening day. Chris was so young then, how old was he?”
“Sixteen. You know, we weren’t even planning on hiring anyone. Logan and I were planning on working the whole store alone. And then, before we opened, Chris walked by with a group of friends after school and struck up a conversation with us while we were painting the outside. We showed them the store, because they were curious and Chris got so excited when we showed him the full baking setup in the back. He’d asked us for a job and we told him we didn’t even have the money to pay ourselves at that point. Then Chris said that if he came back before we left for the night with the best thing we’d ever tasted, we had to give him a job. He came back an hour later with éclairs, and we gave him the job. We actually took out an additional loan just to do it, best business decision we ever made.”
“Did he work mornings in high school?”
“Yeah, we were so worried about it too. He worked from five am to seven am every morning and early shifts on Saturday mornings too. He still earned a really high grade point average and it was what he wanted to do. No one could talk him out of it. He never quit either,” I said.
“Would he lose his job if you accept the offer?” she asked.
“Basically, yeah. The offer says that they want to retain the equipment, staff and general goodwill of the customer base, so I’m assuming they’ll offer him a job. But I looked into it and the company only pay their baristas minimum and they have an affiliated company that provides their pastries. I seriously doubt Chris could live off minimum wage. I know his parents paid for his college but I’m pretty sure he’s on the hook if he wants to go for his MBA, which I know he does.”
“He would get another job in a heartbeat,” Beza said.
“Yeah, I know that and he does too.” A tear dropped down my cheek. “It’s just the end of an era, I guess. Chris and I have been through a lot together, and it’s going to be hard not seeing him every day. I’m going to miss him the most, but, I’ll miss the shop too. It has so many memories.”
Beza’s hand rubbed my back.
“Thanks,” I told her.
“Dinner ladies,” Susan said, stepping outside. “What did I miss?” She looked between Beza and me.
“Just feeling a bit sad about selling the shop,” I said.
“Yeah, I’m feeling a little sad about it too,” Susan said. “Remember when Logan hosted that brownie eating extravaganza for charity with all those bands?”
“Yeah, we got in trouble for that one, the fire department was called and we had to kick everyone out.”
“I have never eaten so many brownies in my life. I couldn’t eat another one for a year,” she said.
“Umm, brownie,” Susan said.
We walked into the house, eating Susan’s food and telling stories about the Coffee Spot.
Day Four
Good in Bed
Day Four: Six O’clock
I was sitting in my living room of my old house, staring out the window at the streetlights on our old street. I touched my bright green couch, which should have been a darker shade in the low light.
“This is a dream, I’m dreaming,” I said to the empty room.
A knock came at my door, and I stood slowly. When the knock came again, I rushed to open the door. Glancing through the peephole, I inhaled my breath sharply. My hands shook as I opened the door.
Standing framed in my doorway was a middle aged woman police officer.
“My daughter is sleeping,” I whispered to the cop.
“Are you Mrs. Scott?” the officer asked me in a low voice.
“This isn’t how this happened,” I told her. “Cameron comes first. Cameron comes to the house first, then you come.” But when I looked back to the door, the police officer was gone and it was Cameron there.
He said nothing, just stood there in the doorway, my porch light casting deep shadows on his face.
“Hey Cameron, what are you doing here? Is everything okay?” I whispered.
He said nothing in return, his face ashen and eyes fixed at my feet.
“Do you want to come in?”
After another minute of silence, I said, louder, “Talk to me. You’re scaring me. What happened?”
“Vanessa just called me from the hospital, but I didn’t go to the hospital—I came here.” His voice was so quiet and hard to hear because he talked to my feet, not me.
“Is she okay?” I asked.
“She’s fine.”
I startled awake from the dream, tears coursing down my face. “Shit,” I whispered, wiping my nose on my sleeve.
There was a small groan beside me and I saw that Sarah must have left Aiden’s pullout bed and crawled in with me. She lay curled up into a fetal position on top of the covers.
I wrapped the blankets back around her, careful not to jostle her too much before crawling out of bed.
Checking my phone, I saw that I still had another hour until I was supposed to wake up. Finding my purse on the side of my bed, I extricated the folded up list from my wallet and read today’s task: Sleep.
“Of course it is,” I whispered, rubbing my hands over my face. Climbing out of bed, I walked to the adjoining bathroom. I pulled the garment bag off where it was hanging on the door and took it with me. When the bathroom door was closed, I turned the light on and hung the hanger on the shower curtain pole.
After unzipping the bag, I examined the three-piece suit.
“It’s a skirt suit,” I said, examining the bottom half. I zipped up the bag again, hanging it back on the door. I searched the drawers of the bathroom one by one until I finally found a razor. Sitting on the side of the tub, I shaved my legs using the bath faucet to wash off the soap and razor. When I was finished, I tried on the suit. I buttoned the navy blazer, examined myself thoroughly, then unbuttoned it.
“Jamie?” I heard Susan say. There was a knock on the door, and a moment later Sarah’s loud crying.
I opened the bathroom door to find Susan standing, droopy eyed, holding onto a bawling Sarah.
“Oh, no,” I said, leaning down to scoop Sarah up.
“She came into our room and started crying. I think she couldn’t find you or something,” Susan said.
“Oh, I’m so sorry baby, I was just in the bathroom,” I said, moving her side to side while she cried out loud, ragged sobs. “I’m sorry, Susan,” I said.
“It’s fine, it’s about time for us to get up anyway,” she said.
I walked over to the bed and set Sarah down. Gently I moved the wet strands of hair out of her face. �
��I’m so sorry, angel, were you scared?”
Sarah made a loud sound and made to hit me, but I caught her hand. “No, baby, no hitting. Do you want a squeeze?”
“No!” she shouted, crying harder and now kicking and screaming.
“Is she having a meltdown?” I heard Aiden say from behind me.
I spun to see Aiden standing in the doorway.
“Yeah, sweetheart, she just needs a moment to reset,” I told him as I walked over to give him a kiss on the top of his head.
“Can I help? Sometimes Sarah listens to me but not to anyone else,” he said.
“Not this time sweetheart. Could you give us just a minute?”
“Sure, aunt Jamie.”
I went and lay down beside Sarah, not touching her but making soothing sounds. “It’s okay, it’s going to be okay,” I said. “I screwed up, I super screwed up. I shouldn’t have closed the door to the bathroom. Let’s just calm down, and take gymnast breaths.”
Sarah’s sobs and kicking subsided quickly and she crawled into my lap.
“You want a squeeze?” I asked her.
“Squeeze harder,” she said and she grabbed one of my wrists and pulled it toward her.
I wrapped my arms around her, squeezing her to me as tightly as possible. “Are you ready for gymnast breaths?” I asked. We took ten breaths together, and then started on another set of ten when I heard a light knock on the door.
“Come in,” I said.
“Hey guys,” Beza said, stepping inside. She held up another garment bag. “I was thinking you might need another suit, Jamie.”
I looked down to see the one I was wearing was wrinkled and had a substance that looked suspiciously like snot on it. “I am so sorry!” I told her.
She made a ‘pisha’ sound. “I never wear that one anyway and the drycleaners will clean it.”
“I’ll pay for the dry cleaning,” I said.
“I get a better deal when I do them in bulk; it’s not a problem at all. I’m going to hang this one on the door.”
The Fourteen Day Soul Detox, Volume Two Page 10