Kayden dipped his head, grinned at the memory and shyly gave Valerie a sideways glance, “You really think I can pull something like this off, Val?”
“No doubt, Kayden. I’d never set you up to fail. I’d love to see you do this, but it’s got to be your call. I talked you into going on stage before, but this has to be something you want this time. That’s why I’ve kept quiet during this conversation. It’s a lot of pressure to put on you, but if you choose to do it then I am one hundred percent behind the decision. I know you’d be great.”
“Let me talk to Amber about this. We’ve already made a life-changing decision in the past twenty-four hours. I’d like a private discussion with my wife about the pros and cons of taking on something of this magnitude. I’ve seen the effect it’s had on your lives, and it would mean a massive change for us, too. I’m not going to make a knee-jerk decision on this, no matter how exciting a gift it may be.”
“I can hold off a day, Kayden. No longer. We have to think of the band and the commitments we’ve got scheduled. It’s going to be tight as it is to bring someone up to speed,” Valerie stated, honestly.
“All right, I’ll be sure to get back to you before take-off with my answer,” he agreed and kissed the top of Amber’s head. “Jeez, as if my honeymoon didn’t present me with enough pressure to perform,” he teased.
Amber swatted his chest and stepped back, “Yeah, I want to see as much enthusiasm when you’re hitting me as you do with those drums, husband,” she retorted. Kayden’s eyes looked like saucers and he glanced quickly at Valerie. “What the hell, Amber, that’s my sister over there,” he said looking back at her awkwardly.
Valerie and I cracked up laughing, “Looks like you may just have yourself a rock-chick wife with a mouth like that— kudos, Amber,” I said, and held my hand up for her to slap a high-five gesture, which she responded to without hesitation.
Kayden grabbed her waist, “Jesus, I can see if I agree to this I’m gonna have to keep you on a leash,” he grinned and walked toward the door.
“Actually, my girl may be able to help you with that. We’ve got a spare one somewhere, right, Valerie?” I smirked at her reference to her props at the studio.
Valerie chuckled and nodded, “I’m sure we could lend you one, Kayden.” Turning to me I could see she was trying to go along with yanking her brother’s chain, and struggled not to burst out laughing, “Who’d have thought these two were into that kinky stuff,” she teased, looking directly and gesturing at her brother and his new wife.
“Enough, Valerie, I don’t care if you’ve had a baby with this dude, you are still a virgin in my head.”
I grabbed Valerie and pulled her close to get a rise out of him, “You have no idea how impure this little—”
“Flynn, you know I love you, dude, but you’re pushing your luck,” Kayden said with a hint of malice as he cut across my sentence. I chuckled heartily and he pushed the door open, led Amber through it and walked away without closing it again.
Valerie snickered and gazed up into my eyes, “You torture my brother at times, you know that?”
“Yup, and like I told you before, they’ll have great sex tonight with all that extra testosterone I just unleashed in him. No thanks needed, by the way, Kayden,” I said, chuckling toward the empty doorway.
Both of us settled back to work and Valerie thought it best to call a conference online with Lexi and Craig. Craig said he could do better than that and that they were coming over because they were in Iowa and Simone was missing Valerie.
Despite the fact we were going to have much needed down-time when it had come to it, life had gotten in the way. Kayden’s wedding and the shit with the pictures had left us feeling exhausted, but it was another hard lesson learned, I knew I never wanted to attend another wedding unless it was my own.
I thought back to when I’d been standing in the church. I had been surrounded by love, yet for some reason, I didn’t feel like I had truly belonged there. It was a feeling that hadn’t sat well with me, so I decided then I was going to go all out and try to win my girl over to the thought of marrying me. I had already spoken to Alison, who was arranging our schedule and asked that after the tour we have a two week break again with the intention of asking her to be my bride.
I glanced over at Valerie who was studying something on her laptop while she pulled the little charm on her necklace back and forth, “I never thanked you properly for this, did I?” she asked with a thoughtful look on her face.
“It’s fine, it was a busy day. It was just something simple.”
“No. Flynn, it wasn’t simple. It was very ungrateful of me. I was so choked yesterday that I just couldn’t deal with this as well. I knew if I’d talked to you about it, I’d have cried. It was so well thought out, and the timing was perfect. I love this charm with all our initials, sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve you,” she said sounding annoyed with herself.
“You’re right, you don’t…but sometimes I don’t deserve you either, Valerie. It’s called being in love, being busy, being together. We’re never going to have a one hundred percent track record with this stuff, but we’re young and I’m crazy about you, hon, and I just want you to be happy.”
“I love it. I love that you took the time to think of me when Kayden was doing his duty for his bride. I loved the letter…God… every word of it every single thing you said hit me exactly where it was supposed to, Flynn. I’m going to ask this one more time, and then I’m never going to mention it again as long as I live, okay?”
I held my breath at her question and nodded slowly thinking I was going to be asked if I’d ever cheated on her. For a moment, I almost lost it and blurted out that this was a crock of shit and that particular line would have tested my patience to its limit, but when she looked at me the way her eyes connected with mine she wasn’t just seeing me she was looking into my soul.
“Why me, Flynn. Of all the women out there? Why are you choosing me?”
“Why the fuck not, Valerie? Look at you,” I said, holding her hands and perusing her body like I wanted to devour her, “You are so beautiful, smart, so sassy, and your touch makes me burn. The way you look at me makes me feel different than how others see me. You’re selfless, kind, beautiful on the inside as well as outside. You’re so fucking smokin’ hot, babe, and I thank my lucky stars for Martin’s life. Without him, I’d never have known you. You know how many times I’ve thought about that? All those ‘ifs’ that led me to your door…that brought me back to you, again and again? You’re right, Valerie, you’re never asking me that question again. It demeans you, and that’s not the girl I have in my bed at night. The hot, confident, sexy-as-fuck woman I hold, the one I want to climb inside, the one I fuck when we’re playful or feisty, and the one I make slow, sweet love to when I have no other words to tell her how she makes me feel.”
“All right, I accept I’m better than all those other women in your eyes,” she said.
“Why me, Valerie?”
She scoffed and raised an eyebrow.
“Go on, why me and not any of those other guys that lust after you? Billy Boy Wilson would take a shot at you,” I said with meaning.
“Because it’s always been you, Flynn. I’ve never really loved anyone else…ever.”
“In the weeks to come, Valerie, remember you said that,” I said. I almost asked her why she wouldn’t marry me again, but I figured that the next time I asked her she should know just how serious I was.
Chapter 31
Nervous wreck
Valerie
Hearing a text alert on my phone, I dug into my bag and saw the glow of the screen.
Kayden:
I may live to regret this…you’ve got yourself a drummer. I’ll call you from the Cayman’s when we land.
“Flynn,” I called out, then remembered he was in the sound booth and couldn’t hear me. I walked into the studio where the sound deck was and waved at him. Flynn stopped p
laying and wandered over to the heavy glass door, pulled it open and took his ear buds out.
“Kayden is in. He’s going to be RedA’s temporary drummer.” Flynn grinned widely fist pumped the air and nodded, but before he could speak, Alison arrived at the studio door “Hey, glad I caught you,” she said, breathlessly. “I had a call from Caesar’s Palace Hotel in Las Vegas. Enrique Santiago is one of their resident artists at the Colosseum, and he’s had a death in his family. The entertainment directors are asking if the band would step in because they have a huge musician’s convention arriving on Friday, and they were expecting a concert.”
“Aw, that’s sad news, Enrique is a nice guy. I know his wife has been sick for a long time. I hope it isn’t her,” Flynn looked at me, asking the question he knew I didn’t want him to voice. We’d never been to Las Vegas, not that we hadn’t been invited. I’d always managed to arrange something that kept us from traveling there, but I felt it was time I climbed that particular emotional mountain. My thoughts flew to Kayden, and I still made one last-ditch attempt to delay the inevitable.
“We’re supposed to be on vacation, Flynn,” I pre-empted and knew he was still going to accept.
“Yep, we are. And I think going to Las Vegas for part of that would be an excellent idea. I know what you’re thinking, and I know it’s going to be tough on him, it will mean him jumping those hurdles, but I’ll fly them straight in from the Cayman Islands. He won’t get a chance to think about where he’s going.”
I glanced at Alison and then back at Flynn. The strain of what he was proposing had brought painful memories back to my mind, but before I could speak, he asked me a question.
“Do you trust me, Valerie?”
“This has no—”
“It has everything to do with it,” he said stepping closer as he placed his finger at my lips to silence me. “It’s been a long time, babe. What happened was shocking, but I think the time has come to face the past and live for the future. I loved Martin like a brother, and my pain is still real as well. I know that y’all have a huge hole in your lives, but would your brothers expect you to grieve forever? You’ve got to face those memories hon, and places don’t define people, they’re just places.”
Flynn watched me closely, and I swallowed with difficulty, my eyes searching his and I knew it was time, “All right, we’ll do it if Kayden agrees.”
Giving me a chaste kiss on the lips, he reached into his pocket pulled out his cell phone and quickly punched out a text to Kayden. He turned the screen to me and showed me what he wrote.
Rock God:
Guess what? You know you said you would step up as drummer? Friday night, Colosseum at Caesar’s Palace. Charter booked Friday for noon. Welcome to RedA brother.
I knew we were taking a massive risk and that Kayden may well have refused to step up in Vegas, but the way Flynn saw it was that it was only a place, and the worst had already happened. He was right; if Kayden was serious, then he had to know there was no place out of reach when it came to performing. It wasn’t RedA’s fans fault the rafting company hadn’t done all their compliances and kept their customers safe.
I trusted Kayden. He was a sound guy, and I knew that if he agreed he’d be all in taking on the role. I was already figuring out rehearsal schedules and a whole host of other shit, to get them ready for the one-off gig. By the time Alison had left, Flynn had made his way back into the booth.
I shifted my gaze toward him and watched him working behind the glass. The room on my end was silent and perfect for studying the beautiful fluid movements he made as he played his guitar. His expressions were heartfelt as he concentrated on his music with his eyes closed. The urge to give my whole self to him and the need to be married had become greater since the night before Kayden’s wedding. Thoughts had started to form in my mind, and I wondered how I could make what I’d been thinking about, work. I fired off a text to a guy I thought may just like me enough to help with what I had in mind.
As I finished the text, I glanced up and saw Flynn watching me again. It was almost as if he knew what I was thinking. He replaced his Fender on the stand beside him and made his way out of the booth toward me.
“I can’t concentrate with you out here. Who were you texting?” he’d asked, sliding his arms around me and pulling me close to his chest.
“I’ve asked Kayden to clear his schedule when he gets back. I have to talk to our dad about his appointments,” I said, quickly.
“What do you think he’ll think of Kayden playing with the band?”
“Dad will be happy as long as Kayden is. He’s come a long way in the last couple of years, Flynn. We just have to make sure he’s supported and that he doesn’t let anything interfere with his and Amber’s relationship.”
“Shit, I never even thought about Amber. Do we have a job for her? I mean, will she travel with him? Leave her work?”
“Flynn this is just temporary until Jonah gets his shit together.”
“You and I both know that isn’t going to happen. No, when Kayden comes in he’s staying if I have anything to do with it….if that’s what he wants of course.”
I gave him a contemplative look and began to put my laptop away, “Then forget what I said about leaving, I’m not handing this band to someone else. If Kayden is staying, then so am I. I’ve been thinking long and hard Flynn, and I haven’t been the person I should be with you lately. I think the shit with that woman in New York knocked us sideways, and having Loretta work with us gave me a lot to think about. I know I don’t want to spend another second of my life without you, and I don’t trust anyone else to act as manager for you as well as I can.”
“What about Liam?” he asked.
“I’ll just make sure we don’t have as many touring dates and that I have at least three days a week to spend with him. There are millions of working moms out there that don’t have the luxury we have. I’ll bump heads with Alison and make sure Liam is always factored in.
I had come full circle since our conversation about wanting to leave the business. I knew I was making the right decision to stay, because realistically, the lack of control of our future would have chewed me up. I would never have been able to tolerate someone else calling the shots. Who was I kidding that I’d be able to do that? It had taken Kayden getting married, but I’d finally figured it out; at twenty-three I knew for sure he needed me and that I was worthy of a guy like Flynn.
*****
All week long, the band prepared as much as they could for the gig at Caesar’s Palace. Kayden called to say they were cutting their honeymoon short, and Lee cancelled the charter flight after Amber had booked them on an earlier flight. It felt wrong that I felt relieved he was coming home because it meant they could have two extra days practice before he went on stage. When they arrived home, she said Kayden had trouble sleeping, and he was feeling doubtful about what he’d agreed to. Kayden and Amber came straight to the studio the moment they arrived back in Iowa.
“Damn, look at you. The women are going to go wild, Kayd. Your tan kicks ass and you look so damn fit, dude,” Flynn said as he rose from the mixing desk and hugged him hard.
“Umm, hello? Less of the man-crush, Flynn,” I joked.
“No worries there, Valerie, he doesn’t have a fu-fu remember?” he said and laughed through his comment.
“And you’ll have no dick if you keep shooting off one-liners about my sister’s anatomy,” Kayden scowled.
Flynn threw his head back and laughed. “Damn this is going to be a fun tour, nothing like yanking a band member’s chain to keep us all entertained,” he said, smacking Kayden in the arm.
“Yeah, and nothing like a rock band member singing in soprano because he’s been castrated, to bring a whole different sound to the gigs either,” Kayden threw back. I watched as they continued to banter and suddenly I couldn’t wait to get started with Kayden in the band.
Chapter 32
Words are all I have
Flynn
Once I’d made up my mind to propose, I decided to write another song for her. What better way to propose than to write a love song about her that was only for her ears? My heart had been beating out of my chest as I worked on it in the booth while I watched her sneaking glances at me on the other side of the glass. I swear it was as if she could hear me, even though I knew there was no possibility.
I guess it was my guilty conscience that had made me stop and ask her what she was doing. It deflected the heat from me. It was hard to concentrate with her right there in front of me. In the end, I gave up and decided that I’d have to steal the time when we had rehearsals.
When Kayden agreed to be in the band, and Valerie agreed to the gig in Las Vegas, I felt a shift in the relationship between Val and me. It was like we were finally on the same page. We were moving on from the tragedy that had always hung over us as a couple, and with Kayden and me as friends. I was Martin’s friend first, but I’d known Kayden longer, and there was nothing I wouldn’t do for him.
He’d replaced the older brother I’d lost. That may sound wrong, but I’d been a kid when he died, and my memories of him were loose at best with what I’d gone through. Don’t get me wrong I loved my real brother unconditionally, but when you have no one of the same sex in this world to relate to it was so damned hard. So when someone like Kayden throws you a lifeline and asks you to be his best man, well, that had meant the world to a guy like me.
“Where did you go?” Valerie asked after we left the studio on the night before we left for our Vegas concert. My mind was running in ten different directions, plotting ideas to bring Valerie around to my way of thinking about marriage.
“Nowhere, babe, I’m right here,” I smiled and tried to reassure her. Valerie was more astute than that and continued to look at me with her brow bunched. She wasn’t buying my reply. “I was just thinking about the best way to support Kayden in Las Vegas,” I said. Her face softened as she nodded. “Yeah, it’ll be a tough gig all round, Flynn.”
Ready For Flynn,Part 3: A Rockstar Romance: Ready For Flynn Series Page 28