How To Save A Life

by Andria Large

  He didn’t treat me as if I were fragile and could break. He didn’t act like I really didn’t know what I wanted, like some guys tend to do. I’ve had guys many times brush me off when I tell them I want it harder. It’s always the excuse, “I don’t want to hurt you.” Motherfucker, if I thought you’d hurt me, I wouldn’t ask for it harder. But not Ezra; he did just as I’d asked, and the outcome was fucking epic.

  I pull in a deep breath and smooth my hands up and down his back. I can feel his heart pounding against mine. “Was that as good for you as it was for me?” I joke.

  I feel Ezra smile against my neck. He doesn’t answer, rather lifts his head to look at me for a moment, before leaning in and giving me a slow, languid kiss that has my eyes fluttering closed, my toes curling, and my heart jumping. The tenderness in the kiss makes me feel like this is more than just sex for him, which is good, because it’s more than just sex for me. I have feelings for Ezra, deep ones. Deeper now than I initially thought they were. I care a lot about him, and Spencer, too. They both mean so much to me.

  When Ezra pulls back from the kiss, he leans his forehead against mine. “That was incredible,” he murmurs.

  “I agree.”

  One more peck and then he peels himself off of me. I suggest we grab a quick shower. Ezra agrees and follows me into the bathroom. I turn on the hot water and let it run for a second. He sidles up behind me, wraps his arms around my waist, and kisses the spot where my neck and shoulder meet. I melt back against him and bring my hand up to run my fingers through the thick, dark hair on his head. I catch our reflection in the mirror and blink stupidly at it. I’ve never seen myself look so right in someone else’s arms. My stomach does a little flip, and I know I’m in trouble with this guy. Serious trouble.

  I shake the thoughts away, not wanting to dwell on anything after such an amazing round of sex. I don’t want to kill the afterglow with thoughts of all of the things that could go wrong.

  We get into the shower and wash each other off. When we’re finished, we dry off, and go back into my room. We climb onto the bed, lie down side by side, and lie there in comfortable silence for a little while. I glance over at the clock and see that it’s 12:30 am.

  “Is Spencer home alone?!” I squawk, shooting up into a sitting position, ready to throw my clothes on to go to Ezra’s house.

  “He’s sleeping over my parents’ house,” Ezra replies sleepily, reaching over to smooth his hand down my arm. “Relax.”

  “Shit, I got scared there for a second.” I sigh, pressing a hand to my chest.

  “I didn’t know how late I was going to be, so I sent him to grandma’s.”

  I flop back down and turn my head to look over at him. “Were you planning on sleeping with her?”

  “No, I wasn’t planning on kissing her either, but she asked, and I felt bad. She’s a widow, lost her husband in a car accident. It was her first date since she lost him, and hasn’t been kissed in over a year.”

  I smile softly. “You’re so sweet.”

  “Shut up,” he huffs, rolling his eyes.

  “So tell me, did you talk dirty to your wife during sex, or was that something new for you?”

  The grin that spreads across Ezra’s face is a charming lopsided one that brings out his dimples. “Every once in a while, I would talk a little dirty, but nothing compared to what I said to you.”

  I laugh.

  “Was it bad?” He winces.

  “Hell no! It was hot as hell. I was just curious.”

  He nods, and then pulls in a deep breath. “So, what happens now?”

  I turn onto my side and push up so I can lean on my elbow and rest my cheek on my hand. “What do you want to happen?”

  Ezra closes his eyes and roughly scrubs his hands over his face. “I don’t know. I want to be with you, but I don’t think I can tell anyone about us just yet. I want us to see how things go between us before we tell Spencer, or anyone else. When it comes down to it, this isn’t just about me, this is about him, too. I don’t want him thinking we’re forever when we don’t know for sure if this is going to work out.”

  He frowns as he looks over at me, and I know he’s struggling with this. And as much as I want to shout our newfound relationship from the rooftops, I completely understand what he’s saying. Ezra doesn’t want Spencer to lose another parent. If we were to tell him about us, no doubt Spencer would expect us to stay together forever. Relationships don’t always work out like that, though, and Ezra is right that we should see how we get along before telling him about it.

  “In no way do I want you to hide who you are from anyone, so please don’t think I’m asking you to go back in the closet for me, because I’m not. I’m just asking for time to see where this goes before telling Spencer and my family,” Ezra continues to explain. He must think I’m going to argue with him or be upset.

  “Okay. I’m fine with that,” I tell him gently, reaching over to rub his chest.

  His eyebrows shoot up. “Really?”

  “Yeah. I think you’re right. We shouldn’t tell Spencer about us until we know where this is headed.”

  Ezra lets out a relieved sigh. “Thank you, Ferris.”

  I lean over and place a soft kiss on his lips. “You’re welcome. I’m still going to call you my boyfriend, though.”

  He smiles against my lips. “I can handle that.”

  "There is one thing you should know, though. Spencer does have some suspicions about us. He flat out asked me a while back, but we weren’t together then, so I told him there was nothing to know. I promised him if something were going on between us, I would tell him. Obviously, I'm going to have to break that promise, which will not go over well when we do finally tell him."

  Ezra nods in understanding. "We'll worry about that when it's time."

  "Okay," I agree.

  +

  EZRA

  The next morning, I wake up wrapped around Ferris. My face is buried in the hair at the back of his head, and my morning wood is wedged nicely between his ass cheeks. I pull in a deep breath, inhaling the scent of his shampoo and skin. He smells so good.

  I’m still kind of shocked that I’m here with him, that I had sex with him last night, and that I’m now considering him my boyfriend. I don’t know how I got here, but I don’t really care. What I do care about is the man in my arms. The one who makes me feel again, the one who makes me laugh and want to do fun things again. I don’t feel like I have to put an act on anymore or pretend to be happy, because I am happy.

  Rolling my hips, I slide my cock through his crack, reveling in the delicious friction. Ferris hums low, and I feel his hand glide over my hip to grab my ass cheek.

  “Good morning,” I murmur and kiss the back of his neck.

  “Morning,” he mumbles sleepily in return.

  I skim the hand that I have on his chest down over his ribs and stomach to his erection. I stroke him slowly as I continue to kiss the back of his neck and shoulder. Ferris moans and starts thrusting his hips in time with the pace I set. I move my hand a little faster, drawing out a gasp from him. He claws at my ass cheek as his breathing picks up. I pump my hips, fucking his crack. I smile against the back of his neck as I think about how if he were a woman, this would be the equivalent of fucking her tits.

  “Why are you smiling?” He breathes.

  “Just a funny thought,” I murmur.

  “You’re thinking of something funny while jerking me off?” Ferris asks incredulously then turns his head to look at me from the corner of his eye.

  “Shh, don’t worry about it.” I give his cock a squeeze to draw his attention back to what I’m doing to him.

  Ferris grunts and hums his pleasure as he drops his head back down to his pillow. I continue kissing, sucking, and lightly biting the back of his neck and shoulder while I jerk him off.

  “Faster,” he rasps.

  Complying, I stroke him faster. He bites out a curse as his fingers grip my ass cheek hard enough to leave brui
ses. Seconds later, his body tenses as he finds his release. His cock pulses in my hand as it spills its load onto the sheets.

  “Shit,” Ferris breathes as his body relaxes.

  “Did I do okay?” I ask softy against the back of his neck.

  “Dumb question. I came, didn’t I?”

  “Yeah, but…”

  “No, no buts. It felt great and I came. That’s a win.”

  I snicker and kiss the back of his shoulder before rolling onto my back and taking my achingly hard cock into my hand. Closing my eyes, I stroke slowly as I visualize our romp from last night. I feel the bed move next to me, but I just assume Ferris is going to clean up. The next thing I know, his hot mouth is wrapped around the head of my dick.

  “Oh fuck,” I groan loudly, letting my hand fall away from my cock.

  Ferris repositions himself between my spread legs then takes my cock into his mouth again, making sure I end up screaming his name.

  CHAPTER

  TEN+

  EZRA

  That afternoon, Ferris accompanies me to pick up Spencer at my parents’ house. When we walk in, I find Spencer sitting by himself on the couch in the living room looking sullen. I frown in concern, not having any idea why he looks like that. He usually has a good time over my parents' house.

  “Hey, Spence. Everything okay?” I ask.

  Spencer’s head shoots up and a look of relief washes over his face. He jumps to his feet and races over to me, throwing himself into my arms. I wrap him up and hold him close.

  “Hey, what’s wrong?” I ask gently.

  “I’ll tell you what’s wrong,” comes my father’s voice, as he emerges from the kitchen. “Your son is a goddamn queer!”

  Spencer’s grip on me tightens, and he buries his face against my chest as a soft sob escapes him. My worst fear has manifested, but it’s not me being condemned; it’s my son, by his own grandfather. My heart shatters into a million pieces, for both of us.

  My mother comes out of the kitchen, her sad eyes on Spencer. “Please, Ray. He’s just a boy, he doesn’t understand what he’s saying.”

  Dumbfounded. I stare at my parents in utter disbelief. I don’t even know what to say.

  “Myra, he’s fourteen, I think he knows perfectly well what he’s saying,” my dad argues.

  “Did you know, Ezra?” My mom asks me.

  “Know what? That’s he’s gay? Of course I did! He’s my son!” I snap, as my anger starts to build.

  “So, what are you going to do about it?” my father asks sternly.

  I jerk my chin back and blink in shock. “What?!” I ask incredulously. “What do you mean ‘what am I going to do’?!”

  I whip my head around to look at Ferris, whose face is completely closed off and unreadable. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look like that before. Tension and anger are radiating off of him, and I’m sure this brings back all kinds of horrible memories for him. I push Spencer into his arms.

  “Can you take him outside, please?”

  Ferris gives me a curt nod, wraps his arms around Spencer, and walks him out the front door. After the door shuts behind them, I take a deep breath and turn back to face my parents.

  “Who was that?” my mom asks with a frown.

  Now would be the perfect opportunity to come clean about myself, but I’m afraid it will just make the whole situation worse.

  “My friend, Ferris.”

  My dad comes to stand in front of me. “You should send him to a rehab,” he states.

  I gape at him.. “Rehab?” I choke out in absolute disgust. “He’s not a fucking drug addict!” I bark furiously. “How dare you even suggest that! He’s your grandson! There is nothing wrong with him! He’s the same person he always was. It doesn’t matter that he’s gay. He’s still Spencer!”

  My mother looks downright appalled by my outburst. Her hand is pressed against the base of her throat, and she’s staring at me as if I have two heads. My dad on the other hand, is standing there stoically, his face never changing.

  “Is that what you would have done to me if I had told you I were gay? You would have sent me to some rehab in hopes that it would fix me?” I sneer.

  I start for the door without waiting for an answer. I know if I stay, I’ll start saying things I can’t unsay. As I pull the door open, my mom calls my name.

  “Ezra,” she pleads. For what? Understanding? Yeah, not happening.

  Without looking back, I walk out the door and slam it behind me. Ferris and Spencer are already in the car. I climb into the driver’s seat, yanking the door roughly to close it. I stomp on the break and hit the button to start the SUV. Throwing it into reverse, I peel out of their driveway when the road is clear. Shoving it into drive, I take off toward my house.

  “Why, Spencer? Why did you go and say something to them without talking to me first?” I demand, my anger getting the best of me.

  Spencer’s teary gaze meets mine in the rear view mirror. “I thought they’d be okay with it.”

  I scoff. “I could have told you that they wouldn’t be. You shouldn’t have done that without me.”

  “Sorry,” he whispers then drops his face into his hands.

  “And you should have fucking called me to come get you instead of sitting there and waiting! Dammit, Spencer! Where was your head in all of this?!”

  “Ezra,” Ferris snaps in warning.

  I glance over at him to find him giving me a displeased look. He shakes his head at me, pretty much telling me to shut the fuck up. I grit my teeth and squeeze the steering wheel until my knuckles turn white. I’m so fucking furious right now. I know Ferris is right; I shouldn’t have said what I said to Spencer, but I’m not thinking straight right now.

  +

  FERRIS

  As soon as we walk into the house, Spencer runs up the stairs and closes himself in his room, while Ezra storms into the kitchen. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him like this, and I sure as hell never heard him talk to Spencer like how he spoke to him in the car.

  This whole situation brings me back to when I told my parents and siblings that I was gay. My parents told me I was dead to them and to no longer contact them, and my siblings went right along with them, not one of them sticking by my side. I really thought at least my brother, Casey, who I was closest with, would be more understanding. But I think he was afraid to get disowned, too, so he kept his mouth shut.

  I walk into the kitchen to find Ezra pacing like a mad man, with one hand on his hip, while he bites the thumbnail of the other. I wait in the doorway to see if he is going to say anything. A few minutes pass and he’s still going, lost in his own mind. I’m not even sure if he knows I’m standing here.

  “You should really apologize to Spencer,” I murmur, unable to hold my tongue any longer.

  Ezra’s head shoots up and he halts his pacing. He stares at me, his eyes a little wide. “My father told me to send him to a rehab,” he croaks, ignoring what I said about apologizing to Spencer. Obviously, his mind is stuck on what his parents said.

  “Rehab?” I reply incredulously. “He’s not a drug addict or an alcoholic.”

  “Right?! That’s what I said!” he practically shouts then resumes his pacing. “I can’t believe this is happening. I’ve done everything I possibly could my entire life to avoid this exact situation and it happened anyway. But it’s not because of me, it’s because of Spencer. He’s the last person on earth who I’d ever want to go through something like this.”

  “I know you’re upset and hurting, Ez, but so is Spencer. Maybe more so than you, and he really needs you right now.”

  “Shit! I’m such an asshole,” he hisses, almost to himself and starts toward where I’m standing in the doorway to the kitchen.

  Ezra crashes into me, hugging me tightly, as he tucks his face into my neck. “Thank you for being here with me.”

  I hug him back, just as tight, and kiss his cheek. “I’ll always be here for you and Spencer. You know that.”

  E
zra nods against me before straightening up. He gives me a quick peck on the lips before moving past me so that he can go up the stairs. He stops about halfway up and leans over the railing to look down at me.

  “Will you come with me? Spencer needs you, too,” he says softly, a slight flush creeping up his cheeks.

  I give him an adoring smile and a nod. I catch up to him and we walk down the hall to Spencer’s room, together. Ezra knocks on the door. When there is no answer, he knocks again while opening the door and peeking his head in. He then opens it all of the way so that we can both walk in. Spencer is lying on his bed, curled up on his side, completely under his mass of covers. I’m not sure if he’s awake until I hear him sniffle.

  “Spence,” Ezra says, his voice cracking.

  He sits down on the edge of the bed, next to the blob that is Spencer. He leans over him, hugging him as best as he can in the position that he’s in.

  “I’m so sorry, Spencer. I didn’t mean to snap at you like I did. I’m not mad or upset with you. I’m angry with Grandmom and Grandpop, with how they treated you, and what they said about you. I never wanted you to have to go through any of that. I’m so sorry.”

  My eyes start to sting and a lump forms in my throat. I would give anything to have my father be half the man that Ezra is. Spencer emerges from his covers and throws his arms around his father’s neck.

  “Do they hate me now?” Spencer cries against Ezra’s shoulder.

  Fuck. That’s a difficult question. Ezra pulls back and cups Spencer’s tear-soaked face.

  “I don’t know the answer to that right now. But I will tell you this…if they do, then we will handle it…you and me, together. Okay?”

  Spencer swallows hard and nods. “Okay,” he rasps.

  “I love you, Spencer.”

  “I love you, too, Dad.”

  Ezra hugs him to his chest and kisses the top of his head. Ezra’s watery gaze lifts to meet mine. I suddenly realize that I’m a total goner for this guy. He stole my heart right out from under my nose. Ezra motions with his head for me to join them. I climb up onto the other side of the bed and wrap my arms around both of them.