by Shona Husk
Kearn glanced at her. That air of confidence he’d had was also gone. This was the real him, not the one all hyped on lust and the need to mate.
“How’s the whole leader thing going?” She wasn’t ready to talk about the other thing yet.
“Difficult. I’m too progressive and not traditional enough for many. I’ve managed to scare my closest friend.” He shook his head. “That’s not why you left the message, though.”
“No, but we’re talking, and right now that is a good place to start.” She still wasn’t ready to talk about that.
“Okay. How is the bar going?”
“Good.”
“I stopped in there a week ago, but didn’t see you.”
He’d looked for her. Her heart tightened a little, and she forgot to breathe. “How are the life support systems?”
“Working.” He smiled. “We wouldn’t be having this conversation otherwise.”
“I know.” She peeled herself off the door. “Do you want a drink?”
“Water will be fine.”
She busied herself getting two glasses of water, then sat on the other end of the sofa as far away as she could from him. She didn’t like the distance, but didn’t want to move either.
“I’m not…not going to do anything,” he said.
“I know.” She tucked her feet up on the sofa so she could face him. “I read up. Is it that you don’t want sex or can’t?”
He frowned. “Both? Without the desire…” he glanced down.
“Oh… It’s probably rude to ask, right?”
“From a stranger, yeah. But you aren’t, and I figure you have the right to ask whatever you want and I’ll do my best to answer.”
She drew in a breath. He knew. He’d got the message and had known just like she’d hoped he would. “I don’t know how it happened. Well, I do, but it shouldn’t have happened.”
“I’m not a doctor, so I don’t know either.” He paused for a moment. “You are well?”
Was he asking about her or the baby? Was she still a person to him, or just the host? She was starting to hate that word. “I am, except for when I smell cooking meat. Then I want to throw up.”
He looked horrified. “Is that common?”
“Yes, in Humans. I don’t know about Metas.” She took a sip of water. There was something not of her growing inside of her and sometimes when she was trying to go to sleep that thin edge of fear pushed its way to the surface. “How did you trick my body?”
“I don’t know how that happens. It’s something to do with the baby absorbing some of your DNA though.” He stared at the glass of water as if it were the most interesting thing in the apartment. “Despite my different breeding cycle, it’s just a baby, Phoebe.”
He’d said the word before she had. “Is it?”
The doctors called it a parasitic clone, even though it would have a tiny part of her DNA.
He moved closer then checked himself and looked at her. She didn’t move back, but she didn’t encourage him forward either, even though she wanted to touch him and trace his ley lines again. She wanted to get to know the father of her baby. Their baby.
He remained where he was, halfway to her, for a moment before sitting back. “Yes. He’s just a baby that will be as helpless as any other when born.”
“It won’t feed like any other baby.” She made herself say it.
“His digestive system will not work for food until he is about one. And even then eating is unnecessary. I do it because it’s social, but I don’t ever eat much. I know some like the tastes.”
Everything he was saying was a reminder that he wasn’t like her, or even like most of the other Metas.
“It’s feeding on me now.” Her body was supplying the nutrients that were enabling it to grow.
“Don’t all fetuses? Aren’t they all dependent on their host until they are born?”
“That’s different.” Wasn’t it? Maybe not medically. She pushed a stray strand of hair off her face. “I’m the first Human host, so no one knows what it will do to me.”
“Do you not want to continue?” It was clear he was trying hard not to look hurt, but it showed in his eyes.
Phoebe sighed. “I’ve already decided to continue.”
She saw the second her words hit and he relaxed. The line of his shoulders softened, his lips parted and she remembered exactly what he could do with that mouth.
Or had done. She was looking at a man who had chosen to have his one chance at sex with her. Her body couldn’t shake off the feeling of what they had done either. While she’d experimented with other Metas after him, it hadn’t been the same. She did not want to be liking Kearn.
“You aren’t acting as happy as I thought you’d be.” She’d expected him to be more, thrilled about the idea, this was the whole point of their encounter.
“It was a side effect of winning, not something I consciously wanted. I mean, chose you. I wanted you.”
Wanted. Past tense.
“I get it. It was a one time thing.”
He was watching her now. His lips pressed together as though he was thinking. “There is nothing stopping us from being friends.”
“Well, we are going to have to work something out, because I’m not handing this baby over and walking away.” Nope, if she was hosting him, she wanted him to know her. She was a person, not an incubator.
“You know you can’t look after it…only Incubi can feed it. I’ll have to push the energy into him until he learns to draw it for himself.”
“I’m beginning to realize that.” This was not a regular milk drinking baby. “But this is the only baby I will ever have.”
“I could fight next year and if I win…” He smiled.
She didn’t. “You might lose.”
“Yes.” He nodded. “I know that Tavor is keen to take me down.”
There was no guarantee that he’d be leader again, and once the experiment ended what then? How would they see each other? “So, what do we do?”
He was silent for a moment. “I think we start off by being friends and go from there. It must have happened somewhere that the mother didn’t want to hand over the baby, but I don’t know about it. It was probably kept quiet.”
“You said many do it for the money.”
He nodded. “You will get paid.”
“That’s not why I was asking.”
“I know, but no matter what, that money is yours on delivery. Can I be there?”
“Maybe. I haven’t thought that far ahead.” She got up and picked up a piece of paper that had been on the kitchen counter. She’d left it there so that she could see that it was real even though there was no outward sign. “Did you want to see him?”
Kearn smiled, and for a moment it was like the sun was lighting her room and heating her skin. She was not immune to him, no matter what the implant makers claimed. The attraction was still there, and this time she couldn’t blame the lust in the club.
She sat next to him and unfolded the picture. The baby didn’t look like much. More like a tadpole than anything remotely resembling an Incubus or a Human. “This was taken last week. The doctors are keen to watch me closely and see what happens, because I’m the first Human.”
“You can say no. You don’t have to let them measure everything and do a write up.” He was holding the edge of the picture. “Is this his head or his butt?”
“Head…or so they said. And he’s about this big she held her thumb and finger about a third of an inch apart.” She was having a baby, and talking with Kearn made it real. “We’re having a baby.”
He nodded, still staring at the picture. Then he lifted his gaze to look at her. “I’d really like to hug you now.”
Her eyes prickled with tears. Damn hormones.
Instead of answering she put her arms around him. This was the Meta she’d been wanting to hold. She’d missed his touch. Missed him.
It was all going to be okay, she had to believe that. He embraced her and dre
w her close before placing a kiss on her lips. “We will figure it out.”
She relaxed into his hold. “Stay for a bit.”
He nodded. “I’d like that.”
It was late, very late when Kearn got home. His room was empty. Had Levit waited before giving up and leaving? For a brief moment, Kearn thought about going to Levit’s room, but after spending the evening tangled with Phoebe as they had talked on the sofa, he didn’t need the company of another. She had filled that need more completely than he’d expected.
Incubi craved touch, but it could be gotten anywhere. Not just with their own kind. He undressed and got into bed, liking the smell of Phoebe on his skin. He couldn’t imagine a world where Incubi didn’t live together, but at the same time he knew that they couldn’t remain as insular as they had been. The world they lived in was changing, and they needed to keep up. He knew that centuries ago they’d had to fight to go to school, to be educated and then to get jobs. He knew that Metas didn’t trust them…but Humans. Humans might because as long as they had the chip they couldn’t be deceived.
Perhaps living on a Human run planet was an option to be explored. The Incubi could handle cold conditions that Humans couldn’t. They had skills beyond seduction and aggression—or at least those who chose to further their education did. Too many clung to the old ways and kept the old hatred alive. He resented the way assumptions were made before he even opened his mouth.
He closed his eyes, but sleep danced around the edges, taunting him, but never getting close. He’d spent the last few weeks believing that he’d failed his clan by not breeding and wondering how he was going to explain that—he already had too many detractors led by Tavor. He should be feeling more secure, instead he was more uncertain. Phoebe wanted to be involved. This was her baby too.
He’d seen the light in her eyes when she’d talked about him.
There were no rules saying that she couldn’t live here, but she wouldn’t want to, and he wouldn’t want other Incubi feeding off her. There was no rule that said he had to live here…not precisely any way. But Incubi had always lived together.
He was going to start talks about a clan moving to a Human planet, Phoebe’s planet, on a trial basis. He turned over and tried to ignore the delicate hope that was growing. And the need that had bloomed when he saw Phoebe. There had been no hormone surge, what he felt for her was something else.
Sometime during the night, sleep did sneak up on him. But it didn’t leave him well rested. He dragged himself to the shower, then went in search of Alroi. At least he’d be able to speak to his mentor before he went to work.
Alroi was in his room, he was still in his uniform, having just finished a night shift of cleaning.
“Were you getting ready for bed?” Kearn didn’t want to keep the old Incubi awake if he was tired.
“Not yet, I’ll wait until the morning crowd has gone to work.” He smiled at Kearn. “You are up extra early, or did you stay up late?”
“Both.”
“Leading is not just about the win.” There was a hint of a tease. While Alroi had once been leader, he’d never offered to mentor Tavor.
“I never planned on winning.”
“I know. Have a seat, you are making me tired.” Alroi pointed to the sofa. This room wasn’t as big as Kearn’s or Phoebe’s, but then cleaners didn’t make as much money. Everyone would get the same amount of money at the end of the experiment, but while in the Complex everyone still had to earn a living. No one got a free ride.
Alroi laced his fingers and waited.
Kearn sat back and tried to relax. He failed and ended up leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. “Am I making too many changes?”
“For some. For others you are giving them the freedom to enjoy what is here while it lasts.”
“You think we should be participating more?”
“I think we should have been from the start, but Tavor’s pride wouldn’t let him grant that permission.”
Did Alroi know why this clan had been selected? “Is it because of him we were told to go?”
Alroi drew in a breath. “There has always been friction between the elders, those who want progress, and those who want to follow tradition. One of the more progressive tribes offered, but the elders wouldn’t agree. So they selected us because they trusted Tavor not to get involved.”
“So we were allowed to go, but not to play. Why would they sabotage the experiment?” That didn’t make any sense.
Alroi looked at him. “Their actual reasons remain theirs alone. The progressive elders hoped that someone would defeat Tavor while here. There is a rumor that Tavor was to be rewarded if he kept control and kept to the old ways.”
“And now he’s lost the leadership and I am straying too far from tradition.”
“Tradition is just a collection of rules that have worked in the past. They are not something to be blindly adhered to. You know that. You see the benefit of this experiment.”
Kearn nodded. “I seem to have unwittingly started one of my own. The surrogate mother is a Human.”
Alroi raised an eyebrow. “That is interesting. Were there no Metas around?”
“There were…but I…” His reasons sounded stupid as he tried to say it aloud. “I liked the way she knew what I was and didn’t turn away.” Now that he was here, he might as well just keep going. “She doesn’t want to hand over the baby and walk away either.”
His mentor was silent for a moment. “And what do you want?”
“I want to get to know her better—the baby is important to her. She didn’t think she could have children.”
“While we are in the Complex, that shouldn’t be a problem—after all, you are the leader and encouraging mingling. You are leading by example.”
“Or am I abandoning my clan and friends?” Not even Levit was sure about what Kearn was doing. That stung. They had been close since Kearn had joined the clan as an overeducated outsider who was only there to study.
“Are you?”
“I’m not walking away from my responsibilities here. I wouldn’t.” A life with no clan would be too empty, but he needed more.
“And what happens when we leave the Complex?” Alroi prodded.
That was the thought that had been weighing on him all night, pressing him into the bed until he could barely breathe. Phoebe hadn’t raised it either, but she must be aware that there was a time limit.
Would she get tired of being a part-time mother to an Incubus? Would she be able to ignore the barbs from others? Would his curiosity fade and he’d grow tired of her? He didn’t know the answers to any of those questions. Maybe there were no answers.
“Has it been done before?”
“Not in this clan. When the Complex experiment is done, my advice to you would be to find another clan. One that aligns with your views better.” Alroi stood.
“I can request that?”
“You can. It doesn’t mean that it will be granted.”
If his request wasn’t granted, then he’d have to stay or walk away and start his own. Would people follow him? He didn’t want to think that far into the future.
“I will arrange a celebration now that we have confirmation from the surrogate. Would she like to be here?” Alroi asked.
If she came, then Tavor would know who she was and Kearn didn’t trust Tavor. “I can ask, but Humans get this sickness thing at the start of all pregnancies.”
Alroi’s eyes narrowed. “Is it contagious?”
“No. I will bring her to meet everyone later…or even take a few to meet her.” That might be better. A small group of people he trusted, so she wouldn’t be in any danger.
10
Phoebe walked toward the zipper stop. The going to work crowd was already on the move, and there was a small queue forming. She was happy to wait. After talking with Kearn, she felt more settled than she had since making the unplanned discovery. She didn’t have to give up their baby. She was thinking of it as hers, even though
it wasn’t, not really.
She glanced over as a Climintra officer walked past the line. He was Incubus, no Meta gave him a second glance. The line began to get agitated as though waiting for the next zipper was taking too long.
A couple of Metas in front of her started arguing. Where was the officer now?
She stepped back, wanting to give them space and bumped into someone else. “Sorry.”
“Watch where you’re stepping, Human.” The woman snapped.
Some of the other Humans in the line suddenly got interested. “Leave the Human lady alone.”
She really didn’t need this attention.
The officer was walking back now, but he didn’t step in and calm things down. As he got closer, the argument in front of Phoebe turned into a fistfight. She stepped out of the line and put her back to the wall.
It wasn’t enough.
“You started this, by bumping into them.” The woman she’d accidentally ran into pointed at her.
“No I didn’t.” She glanced around looking for help, but got none. She had no idea what the men were fighting about, but the fight was spreading, infecting other Metas. The Humans were watching, but stepping out of the way. Away from her. “Help!”
She was trapped. She tried to push her way free, but was knocked back against the wall. Her breathing was tight and for a moment, she was paralyzed. Then she realized only Metas were affected. She cast her gaze around, looking for the Climintra officer. Why wasn’t he stopping the fight? Her gaze locked with his. He was on the other side of the fight watching her, a faint smile on his lips. The fight got closer, pressing her against the wall. People banged into her. She could smell their sweat and feel their hate. Their expressions were fierce, their eyes hardened. She had to do something to stop this. To make them realize they were being manipulated.
“The Climintra officer is an Incubus. He’s making you want to fight,” Phoebe yelled, but it didn’t matter. The Metas weren’t listening, they were exploring their base instincts.
She turned to shield her baby from the fight. Someone slammed into her side. Her head hit the wall. The Climintra officer wasn’t going to do anything to stop them. She needed to get his name. She needed to get out of here. Instead of hunching down and trying to hide, she stood straight. Fear pounded through her body, but the adrenaline gave her strength. She held her bag in front of her belly, it was small enough that no one would be able to tell she was pregnant. Only another couple of weeks until she’d be getting asked who the father was. It was moving so much faster than a fully Human pregnancy, the doctor reminded her of that every time she went. She had to protect the baby. Her baby. She didn’t care that it was 99% Incubus.