by Kylie Keene
“Aren’t there rules against dating coworkers?” Paige asks.
Kayla answers. “If there were, I would’ve been fired months ago. You can’t date your supervisor, but you can go out with anyone else at the company.”
“Still, I think you’re getting too worked up about this, Morgan,” Paige says. “You don’t even know if you’ll have a date with this guy.”
“Oh, there’s gonna be a date,” I say, determined. “In fact, I’m going to ask him out for dinner this week. I’ll tell him it’s part of my mentoring duties and see how he reacts.”
Kayla takes a lollipop from her lab coat and rips the wrapper off. “I know you think he’s your dream man, or whatever, but he doesn’t seem like your type.”
“You’re just saying that because you want him for yourself.”
She sticks the bright green lollipop in her mouth. “No. I’m saying it because I don’t think he’s a good fit for you.”
“Hmm.” Paige taps her lips with her finger. “You know, Kayla might be right.”
“What?” Kayla and I say it at the same time.
Kayla rips the lollipop from her mouth. “You actually think I’m right about something?”
Paige keeps her eyes on me. “I don’t think he’s the guy for you, Morgan. Something seems off.”
“You two are crazy. He was in here for like a minute. You can’t make a judgment about someone in a minute.”
Kayla laughs. “Oh, yeah, you can. I’ve dated plenty of minute-men. Never dated those guys again.”
Paige ignores the comment. “Morgan, just forget what we said. Maybe Kayla and I are wrong. Don’t listen to us. Grant seems like a nice guy. You should go out with him. Get to know him.”
We go back to work but I find it nearly impossible to keep my mind focused on cereal formulations when all I want to think about is Grant. A few times during the day I’m tempted to go upstairs and talk to him but I don’t. It would seem desperate and I need to play it cool. I can’t screw this up. My every move has to be perfect.
***
The next day I show up in my new black skirt and a sweater that’s low-cut for me, but conservative by Kayla’s standards. Around 9, I make my way up to the second floor with a file in my hand. I’m hoping to run into Grant, but if I do, I need an excuse for why I’m up here, so if he asks, I’ll tell him I have to drop this file off at HR.
I find Grant in the break room. He’s wearing another great suit, this time a black one.
I suddenly feel nervous but I can’t run off. This is my dream man. I’ve been waiting forever for this guy to come along. And now here he is. I can’t back down now.
I walk up to him and smile. “Hi, Grant. How did your first day go?”
He smiles back. “Morgan. Hi. It was a long day. I have a lot to learn.”
So do I, I’m thinking. And I’d love for you to teach me. Of course I don’t actually say that. “Hey, I was thinking that since it’s hard to get away for lunch, maybe we could grab dinner sometime.”
“Sure, that sounds great.”
“How about this week? Maybe tomorrow night?”
“Yeah, that works.” He’s still smiling. That’s a good sign, right? He wouldn’t be smiling if he didn’t want to go. And he probably wouldn’t agree to go out with me at night if he had a girlfriend.
“I’ll think of a place to go and let you know later. Have a good day.”
When I get back down to the lab, Paige sees the excitement on my face. “He said yes to dinner, didn’t he?”
“Yes, and he actually sounded like he really wanted to go.” I go to my workstation and start setting up my equipment.
Kayla comes up beside me. “Well, he is all alone in a strange city. He’s probably dying to go out and do something.”
“Don’t be such a downer, Kayla,” Paige says. “Let her be excited.”
“So I guess that’s date number one, Morgan.” Kayla grins at me.
I grab my lab coat and put it on. “It doesn’t count as a date. I’m sure he thinks it’s just for this mentor thing.”
“Did you tell him that’s what it’s for? Or did you make him think it was a date?”
“I don’t know what he thinks. Dammit. I should’ve made that clear. This can’t count as a date. At least not in his mind.”
“You’re going out at night.” Kayla leans back against the counter. “He’s gonna think it’s a date. That means you better get ready to lose it.”
“I can’t. I’m not ready for that. Besides, I’m sure he’s not one of those third-date guys. He seems like the type of guy who would want to get to know a girl before he took her to bed.”
“You’re delusional, Morgan,” Kayla says. “The guy is gonna want sex. At least by the third date, maybe sooner. Let me set you up again. I’ll find you someone better this time. Someone who doesn’t complain when you order your burrito without the sauce.” She laughs.
“No, Kayla. Never again. Forget it. If I’m gonna do it, I’d rather do it with Grant, not some guy you met at a bar or a baseball game or wherever you go to meet men.”
“Fine, but don’t blame me when Grant dumps you because you’re horrible in bed.”
“That’s not going to happen. My dream man would never do that.”
She rolls her eyes at me and goes back to work.
***
Wednesday night I meet Grant at a trendy bistro downtown. The restaurant isn’t fancy but it’s not too casual either. And it’s not super expensive. Since I’m Grant’s mentor and I asked him to dinner, I figure I should pay, but I don’t exactly have much in my checking account.
I wore my best butt-lifting jeans and a form-fitting sweater. I’d love to show more skin but it’s still frigid outside and I tend to be cold even when I’m indoors.
Grant shows up at the restaurant right on time. The hostess seats us at a booth and we both take our coats off. He sets his coat next to him on the seat, then points to mine. “Do you want me to take yours so you have more room?”
“No, that’s okay. But thanks for asking.”
My dream man is very polite.
He’s wearing jeans and a blue polo shirt. I like the casual look on him. And I can check him out better when he’s not covered in the suit. I do a quick scan of his arms. They’re not as muscular as I thought they’d be, but I’m sure he didn’t have time to work out during law school. Actually, as I get a better look, his arms are kind of thin. I usually like a guy who’s bigger and more muscular, but I can get over that. There’s nothing wrong with thin. I’m thin and not at all muscular, so we’re a good match.
I find myself staring at Grant like Aiden did to me and I quickly look away. I’m not sure what to say to this guy. I’m so nervous. I should talk about work. That’s why we’re here. Or at least that’s why he thinks we’re here.
“So what exactly do you do in the legal department?” I have no interest in anything the legal department does. I think legal stuff is boring, but I’m certain my dream man can make it interesting.
“I’m working on ensuring our products conform to the new labeling laws. There are so many rules around organic labeling and then the regulators keep changing them. With the company adding new product lines, we’ll have to rely on new vendors for ingredients, so I’m drawing up contracts that specifically address the new rules for organics to make sure our products meet the new standards.”
Okay, he didn’t make it interesting, but that’s okay. Nobody could make that stuff interesting.
The waitress comes over and Grant notices I haven’t even picked up the menu.
“I think we still need a few minutes,” he tells her.
Sending her away like that was a date-like move, wasn’t it? I’m not sure, but it seemed like it.
I’m staring at him again. I need to stop. I glance down at the table and hear him talking.
“Sorry, Morgan. Were you ready to order? I can get her back.”
“No, I’m not ready.” I open my menu and sta
rt flipping through, trying to find the right dish to order. Pasta? No, it’s too messy. Salad? Also messy and I risk getting pieces of lettuce stuck in my teeth. Burger? Too greasy. Damn! Why did we come here? There’s nothing to eat, at least nothing that’s good for a first date. But it’s not a date. It’s just dinner with my mentee. Or is it a date? It kind of feels like a date. I don’t know what it is.
“You know what you want?” Grant asks.
My mind immediately puts a dirty spin on it and I feel my cheeks blush.
I snap out of it. “Oh, um, yeah. I think I’ll have the salmon.”
“Yeah, me, too. We must have similar tastes.” He smiles and I can’t tell if it’s a friendly smile or a flirtatious one. Why am I not able to read him better?
“You haven’t said much, Morgan. Tell me about yourself.”
My nerves take over. I have nothing to say to him. All my hobbies are lame. And I never go out. I basically have no life.
“Well, I grew up in Bloomington.” That’s the best thing I could come up with? Where I grew up? Ugh, I’m so bad at this.
“The place with the mega mall.” He smiles again and it makes me relax a little.
“Yeah, that’s the one. My dad still lives there. In Bloomington. Not the mall.” That was a dumb thing to say. I feel my face getting hot.
Grant laughs. “What about your mom? Does she live around here?”
I pause before answering. I don’t like talking about my mom, especially on a first date. I don’t want this guy taking pity on me, but he asked so I have to address it. “She passed away.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.” And there’s the pity look.
“It was a long time ago.” I bob my straw up and down in my drink, avoiding his gaze. I don’t know why, but even all these years later, I still have a hard time talking about my mom.
“How old were you?”
“Thirteen. It was a car accident.”
I’m hoping he’ll read my discomfort and change the subject. Fortunately, he does.
“So where does your dad work?”
“He’s retired. He’s getting remarried and moving to Texas.” I feel better now that the mom thing is out there and we’ve moved past it.
“Good for him. Do you like his future wife?”
“Yeah. She’s really nice. She’s not retired, but she’s a real estate agent so she can work anywhere. So tell me about your family.”
“My mom’s an interior designer. She owns her own business.”
An interior designer? Great. Now I’ll have to fix up my apartment. He can’t see it the way it looks now. It’s a complete mess and it’s a hodgepodge of mix-and-match furniture I took from my dad’s house. An interior designer’s nightmare! His mother would probably ban him from dating me if she saw my place.
“So did your mom help you decorate your apartment here?”
“No. I did it myself. I’ve always liked art and design and my mom taught me enough over the years that I know what looks good. You can come check out my apartment sometime if you want.”
He invited me to his place. But for what? Just to see his apartment? Or more than that? Again, I can’t read him, but I’m not getting a flirtatious vibe. Maybe he has a girlfriend back in Omaha. Or maybe he has a rule against dating people at work.
We order, then are left with awkward silence. We can’t be out of things to say already. I search my mind for an interesting topic. Before I can come up with one, he starts talking again.
“I know this is supposed to be our mentor thing, but we don’t have to talk about work all night, right?” He laughs. “Or is that mandated in your mentor handbook? That Janice lady seems to take this thing pretty seriously.”
“No, we don’t have to talk about work.”
“Good. So what do you like to do outside of work?”
“I um—I volunteer at the art center.” It’s a total lie. I haven’t been to the art center since a fourth grade field trip. Why did I just say that? Because Grant said he’s into art and design and I’m trying to impress him. But he’s not going to be impressed when he finds out it’s a lie.
“That sounds interesting.” He raises his brows. “You’re talking about the Walker Art Center, right?”
“Yeah. You should definitely check it out. It has a great outdoor sculpture garden.”
“Yes, I’ve been there many times. We should go together sometime. Unless you’re sick of it since you volunteer there.”
“No, we can go. Whenever you want.” I feel knots forming in my stomach.
“You must like art. Do you do any art yourself?”
“I take pictures.” What a horrible answer. Everyone takes pictures.
“Oh, yeah? Have you taken photography classes or did you teach yourself?”
“I’ve had a few classes.” No I haven’t! Why do I keep lying?
“What else do you like to do?”
Tell him something truthful! I yell at myself.
“I go to yoga a few times a week.” Finally, a true statement.
“I’ve never tried yoga. I’m a runner. Distance runner. I’ve done a few marathons. Do you like to run?”
“Yeah, I run.” Another lie! Where is this coming from? I hate running. I can’t even do it. I’d probably collapse from exhaustion if I had to run more than a few feet.
“Maybe you could show me some trails. I hear there’s a lot of them around here.”
I make a mental note of my growing to-do list.
Look up running trails as soon as you get home.
Start running.
Call the art center and find out how to be a volunteer.
Take a photography class.
Buy new furniture for your crappy apartment.
Thankfully our food arrives before I blurt out another lie about myself. I make it through dinner by asking Grant questions and talking as little as possible.
I find out that his dad is also a lawyer and practices criminal law back in Omaha. Then Grant tells me that he loves to cook and even considered being a chef before deciding to be a lawyer instead. He’s been to Europe twice—once to England and once to France. He hopes to go to Italy next. He’s a Nebraska Cornhusker fan. And he loves modern art.
“I feel like I’ve talked this whole time,” he says after the waitress clears our plates. “Sorry about that. You must think I’m one of those self-centered lawyer types. I normally don’t talk about myself that much.”
“It’s my fault. I kept firing questions at you. It’s one of my mentor duties. I’m trying to get to know you better.” I reach over for my purse. “I guess we should go. It’s getting late.”
“Yeah, I need to get in early tomorrow.”
The waitress brings the check, setting it in front of Grant, assuming we’re on a date. I reach for the bill just as Grant does and our hands meet.
“I’ll get it,” I say, sliding the check my way. His hand remains on mine.
“Let me pay.” He smiles. “It’s bad enough you had to give up your night to take out your mentee. The least I can do is pay.”
“I don’t know. There’s probably something in the mentor handbook that forbids you from paying.”
“To hell with the handbook. This one’s on me.” He retrieves his wallet from his coat and pulls out some bills, dropping them on the table.
We leave and he walks me to the car. “I had a good time. Thanks for suggesting this. It was good to get out and do something. I know I just moved here but I already feel like I’m spending too much time sitting around my apartment. If you don’t mind, maybe we could do this again.”
“How about this Saturday?” I ask, without even thinking.
Why did I say that? And did I have to sound so eager? Now he’ll think I’m desperate to go out with him again. And Saturday is date night. Everyone knows that. I just asked him out on a date!
He seems surprised. “Um, yeah, okay. Sure.”
“Well, I’ll see you at work.” I get into my car, a red 2000 Saturn. I watch as
Grant walks behind me and gets in a brand-new silver Audi.
The rest of the night I replay all the stupid things I said and did over the course of the date.
Why does this always happen when I go out with someone I like? I always say or do something stupid and then I spend the next few hours, and sometimes days, reliving the scenes in my head. And if that’s not bad enough, I make all these assumptions about what the other person must be thinking about me. The post-date recap in my head is almost more stressful than the actual date.
This is why I never go on dates.
CHAPTER SEVEN
7
Thursday morning, Kayla and Paige are waiting in the lab for a detailed summary of last night.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I say when I see them. “I made a fool out of myself and I’ve been replaying it all night in my head. I hardly slept.”
Paige walks up to me. “What happened? I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.”
“Trust me. It was bad.” I set my coffee down and go over to get my lab coat. “Let me clarify. It was bad for me, not for Grant. He probably thinks it went fine.”
“Then what’s your problem?” Kayla makes a note in a file, then gets her coffee and meets me at my station.
“I lied to him. Repeatedly. Like some pathological liar. The lies just kept coming out of my mouth. I couldn’t stop them.”
“What kind of lies?” Paige asks.
“Well, let’s see. Apparently I’m a runner and a photographer. In fact, I’ve even taken photography classes. Oh, and I volunteer at the Walker Art Center because I love art so much.”
They both stare at me, not saying anything.
“I told you. I’m insane. Completely insane. I don’t know why I said those things.”
Kayla shrugs. “I lie to guys all the time. It’s no big deal.”
“But I have to work with this guy. I have to interact with him as his mentor. And I’m trying to date him.”
“That’s true. I usually never see the guy again.”
Paige is still staring at me. “Why would you lie about all that stuff?”
“Because I got nervous and I was trying to impress him.”
“You could’ve impressed him by just being yourself.”