by Jenna Black
“Aren’t you going to reassure me that everything’s going to be okay?” I asked, and I’m afraid my voice sounded a little plaintive and childlike.
I heard him draw in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Demons are capable of many things that humans are not, but seeing the future isn’t one of them.”
I dragged my arm away from my eyes and forced them open. Lugh was watching my face, his amber eyes serious, and intense, and hard to read. I frowned.
“That’s a pretty noncommittal answer.”
His hands stilled on my feet, though he didn’t withdraw his touch. “One thing I have never done is tell you soothing lies. I don’t plan to start now.”
My throat tightened and my eyes burned. “In other words, you think it’s over between me and Brian. For good.”
He shook his head. “I didn’t say that.” He regarded me gravely. “But I suspect this rift is going to be hard to repair. And if it’s going to be repaired, you’re going to have to put a lot of effort into it.”
I swallowed past my tight throat. “I bet Adam can get some expert somewhere to verify that the photo was doctored. I mean, any idiot with PhotoShop could have done it, but surely there’s some way you can tell. And once Brian knows the photo is fake, he’ll listen to me about the rest.”
Lugh raised an eyebrow at me. “And if Brian is persuaded that you didn’t have an affair with Adam, will that make things all better between you?”
I had to suppress a groan, because I’d already realized earlier this evening that it wouldn’t. He was far from the only injured party in this mess.
“Don’t rub it in, okay? I feel shitty enough already.”
“It was not my intention to rub it in. I’m just explaining why I haven’t said what you wanted to hear.”
I nodded. “Okay, fine. If you’re not going to whisper sweet nothings, is there any particular reason we need to talk right now? Can’t you just let me sleep?” Talking wasn’t going to make anything better, so I’d just as soon have done without.
“It has always been my impression that humans appreciate having a shoulder to cry on when they are having romantic difficulties.”
I snorted. “You know perfectly well I’m not the crying-on-shoulders type. Try again.” There was something he wanted from me. He just hadn’t gotten around to telling me what yet. Whatever it was, I wasn’t in the mood to give it to him. I just wanted to crawl into my little hidey-hole and disappear until the pain went away. Too bad life didn’t work that way.
“Maybe I just wanted to remind you that you weren’t alone,” he said softly, looking at the fire, not at me. He smiled faintly, but it looked forced. “Or maybe I figured if I didn’t talk to you tonight, you’d be angry with me for my perceived desertion.”
Despite my less-than-alert state of mind, I was beginning to hear the faint ringing of warning bells in my brain. It wasn’t like Lugh to be this cagey. It took a considerable amount of willpower to move, but I forced myself to sit up and slide my feet off of his lap. I wrapped the sinfully soft blanket tightly around me, not sure what Lugh had dressed me in for this dream and not wanting to find out.
I suspected everything he’d just said was true. I also suspected there was more going on than met the eye.
“Will you stop with the tap dancing and just tell me what this is about?”
He gave me an assessing look that made my stomach do a back flip. Suddenly, I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what he was up to after all. I had more than my fair share of turmoil already, and the last thing I wanted was to add more to my plate.
Lugh smiled at me ruefully. “Take it easy, Morgan. It’s nothing as devious or as worrisome as you’re making it out to be.”
“Then what is it?”
“I just wanted to make some arrangements that I knew you weren’t going to get around to making in your state of mind.”
The warning bells were now so loud I was almost surprised Lugh didn’t hear them.
“In other words, you’ve been keeping my mind busy here in la-la land while you’ve driven my body around.” It wouldn’t be the first time Lugh had taken control of my body during my sleep, and, of course, he generally used such opportunities to do things I very much didn’t want him to.
“What did you do?” I demanded, meanwhile trying to muster my mental defenses enough to wake myself up and kick Lugh out of the driver’s seat. It always required some effort, but right now I felt so weighed down by the circumstances that I wasn’t sure I could do it at all.
“No need to try to shake me off,” Lugh said. “I’ve done what I set out to do, and I’ve put you back to bed.”
“Why doesn’t that make me feel any better?” I muttered, but my struggles to break through his control were weak and halfhearted. Somehow, it just didn’t seem worth the energy.
“I talked to Adam. I thought it best for you to have a bodyguard, at least until we find out what the story is behind that hand you received in the mail.”
I groaned. “Don’t tell me you invited Saul over.”
“All right, I won’t tell you that.” He smiled at me, a teasing glint in his eye.
I shook my head. “I don’t need a bodyguard!”
“I know,” Lugh said, nipping my incipient tirade in the bud. “But it made for a good excuse to move Saul out of Adam and Dominic’s house. There is enough tension already between various members of my council. I don’t need Saul and Adam in a romantic rivalry.”
I met his eyes. “If there’s a romantic rivalry going on, then just moving Saul out of the house isn’t going to stop it.”
Lugh shrugged. “Maybe not. But I’m sure it’s better for all involved, and it should at least slow things down.”
“Maybe you should have put more thought into it before you insisted on summoning Saul to the Mortal Plain!”
He gave me a quelling look. “There’s no point in arguing about that. Saul’s here—both on the Mortal Plain and in your apartment. Let’s just move on from there.”
My eyes widened. “You mean there’s more?”
He nodded. “I suspect that in his current state of mind, Brian isn’t going to be overly anxious to pay your legal bills.”
The blood drained from my face. The thought hadn’t even occurred to me, but of course Lugh was right.
He patted the air reassuringly. “Don’t worry. I’ve made other arrangements.”
I was anything but reassured. I lowered my head into my hands. “Adam again?”
“Yes. He has the financial resources to help you.”
I raised my head and glared at him, my hands trembling with rage. “And what if I tell you that I absolutely refuse to accept money from Adam?”
“Then I’ll call you a mule-headed fool and I will continue to take matters into my own hands as often as necessary.”
My jaw dropped. Lugh usually tried to be so gentle and patient about everything. I would have thought now, of all times, he’d treat me like a porcelain doll.
“My apologies,” he said, though he didn’t sound particularly apologetic. “You need money to defend yourself, and Adam has money. Getting through the lawsuit is going to be difficult enough without financial strain loaded on top. And don’t forget, the rest of your problems aren’t going to magically disappear while you’re being sued.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and scowled. “I haven’t forgotten.”
“Also don’t forget that you’re my host, and that I need you. I can’t afford to leave you undefended, and as Adam’s king, I have every right to demand that he pay for your defense.”
I was too tired and beaten down to argue, though I wanted to. “Adam paying for my defense is just going to reinforce Brian’s assumption that he’s my lover.”
“That can’t be helped.” He looked genuinely sorry this time, but I wasn’t sure I cared anymore.
“Let me go back to sleep now,” I said, my voice flat and hopeless-sounding.
Lugh slid across the couch until he was right
by my side, then he slipped his arm around my shoulders and gave me a firm squeeze. “It will be all right,” he murmured in my ear.
Tears stung my eyes, and I felt the elephant weight on my chest again. I was going to humiliate myself by crying on his shoulder, after all.
But Lugh knew me too well to let that happen. Just when I thought I couldn’t hold the tears back another moment, the room began to dissolve around me, and I drifted into the peaceful oblivion I’d longed for.
The next morning, I woke up feeling like my head was stuffed with cotton. I remembered what had happened, and knew I should be very upset, but my emotions were stuffed in cotton, too. That was probably a good thing, since I needed to function today.
I took a long, steamy shower, moving by rote, not thinking about much of anything. Distantly, I thought perhaps I was a little too spaced out for my own good. But when I considered the alternative…
I was afraid coffee might wake some of my still blissfully sleeping brain cells. However, there was no way I was getting through the day without coffee, so I was just going to have to take a chance.
Luckily, I pulled on some yoga pants and a T-shirt before I headed for the kitchen, because I’d forgotten that Lugh had invited Saul to stay here. I came to a screeching halt in my bedroom doorway when I saw him sitting on my living room sofa sipping from a travel mug that hadn’t come from my kitchen. Considerate of him to bring his own dishes. I grabbed the door frame, my mind reorienting itself to my new reality.
“I brought some of Dom’s coffee,” Saul said when I just stood there like an idiot. “I hope you don’t mind.” He tried a grin that didn’t look terribly convincing. Oh, good. He wasn’t any more comfortable being here than I was having him here. “Adam told me your coffee sucks.”
“He didn’t lie.” I shambled toward the kitchen, hoping Saul had made enough coffee for both of us. When I saw he had made a full pot, my opinion of him softened considerably. I poured a cup and inhaled deeply. It smelled heavenly, so I took a big sip, not bothering with my usual cream and sugar.
It was a good thing it was such high-quality java, because Saul had made it strong enough to make espresso seem mild and diluted by comparison. I felt like pounding my chest with my fist after I swallowed. I turned to stare at Saul with watery eyes.
“Have you ever heard of the concept of moderation?” It was a good thing he’d brought the coffee himself or he’d probably have used my entire week’s ration in that one pot.
He frowned and took a sip from his mug. He made a show of rolling it around his mouth then swallowing. “Too strong?” he asked, and it sounded like he was just guessing.
I rolled my eyes and poured half the contents of my mug back into the pot. I then filled the mug to the brim with hot water, added cream and sugar, and tried again. It tasted just about right. I wrapped both hands around the mug. Not that it was cold in my apartment, but this was just so damn awkward.
“I don’t suppose there’s any chance I can convince you to go back to Dom and Adam’s place,” I said.
He took another swig from his travel mug. “Not when my king has ordered me to stay here and keep an eye on you.” He stood up and came toward the kitchen.
I didn’t think the kitchen was big enough for the both of us, so I moved to my dining room. I probably moved a little too quickly, because Saul gave me a funny look. I pretended not to notice as I sat down at the table and paid more attention to my coffee than it was worth. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Saul refill his mug. Unfortunately, he didn’t take my subtle “Leave me alone” hint and came to join me at the table.
“You don’t like me,” he said.
I can’t deal with drama before my morning coffee on the best of days. I fixed him with a steady look.
“I don’t know you well enough not to like you. I just don’t want a baby-sitter. Now can you let me drink my coffee in peace?”
“You’re upset that I’ve taken this particular host.”
So much for drinking my coffee in peace. I shrugged, trying to act as casual as possible in the hopes he’d just drop it and shut up. “You didn’t have a choice, so I can hardly blame you.”
“But you do anyway.”
I seriously considered splashing my coffee in his face. Of course, being a demon, he’d probably like it. “Look, Saul. I’ll tolerate having you here because it’s not worth the energy to fight with Lugh about it. But that doesn’t mean I have to have heart-to-heart talks with you. It’s nothing personal, but I need you to shut up right now.”
He opened his mouth as if to argue, then seemed to think better of it. I nodded my approval, and that was the end of our breakfast conversation.
Afterward, I took him downstairs and introduced him to the front desk clerk—though I said he was my guest, not my roommate. I saw his disapproving glance, but pretended not to. I had his name officially recorded on my “okay to let into the elevators without calling me first” list. His was the only name on it. And then, with the utmost reluctance, I had the front desk issue him his very own key.
Chapter 10
Adam saved Saul and me from a morning of prolonged awkwardness by showing up at ten, just as we were finishing off the last of the way-too-strong coffee.
“Ready to go have a word with our dear friend Barbara?” Adam asked me with a fierce grin.
The grin made me shudder. Adam could be one scary dude when he wanted to be, and however much I hated PI Barbie right now, I wasn’t sure she deserved to have Adam sicced on her.
“I don’t suppose there’s any chance you’ll let me go chat with her by myself?” I asked.
“It’s my house she broke into.” His grin became even more ferocious. “Besides, I can put the fear of prison into her. She did commit a crime, you know.”
Knowing Adam, I didn’t think prison was going to be the scariest thing he’d threaten Barbie with. It was kind of amazing how many laws Adam managed to break while being a police officer. And that he always seemed to get away with it. The Philly PD had never been the poster child for incorruptibility, but I could scare myself thinking about how much leeway the officers apparently had.
The good news was that Saul didn’t get to accompany us for this interview. He would remain in my apartment “keeping watch.” I think that basically meant “keeping out of the way.” And for just a moment as Adam and I were leaving, I met Saul’s eyes and got the feeling he thought the same thing. I might even have felt a bit bad for him if I weren’t still in so much pain myself.
Adam didn’t disturb my silence as we took the elevator down to the garage level and then made our way to the visitors’ parking area in an unpleasantly secluded corner. When I climbed into his unmarked, I put on my seat belt and let my head fall back against the headrest as I closed my eyes. I’d gotten plenty of sleep last night, but I still felt like I could sleep another week.
I swore I could feel Adam’s eyes on me for a long moment before he started the car and pulled out of the parking space. I knew I wasn’t acting like my normal self, but I couldn’t help it. Eventually, I’d dredge up some anger, and with that anger would come energy. But for now, all I felt was … depression, I suppose.
I must have totally spaced out for a bit, because when next I was aware of my surroundings, we were parallel parked on one of the seedier sections of Broad Street and Adam was staring at me. We could have driven five minutes or five hours—my senses were so scrambled I doubt I’d have known the difference.
Trying to shake the fog out of my brain, I unhooked my seat belt and gave Adam an annoyed glance. “What?”
He pursed his lips, and I had the impression he was trying to decide what to say. I hoped he’d decide on nothing, but I wasn’t that lucky.
“Are you up to this?”
I looked for the surge of indignation a question like that would usually inspire, but I couldn’t seem to muster it. Instead, I shrugged. “Probably not, but let’s do it anyway.” I started to get out, but Adam grabbed my arm. Again, I t
hought I should object but couldn’t be bothered.
“There’s no point in you coming with me if you’re just planning to sit there and pout.”
I tried a glare, but I didn’t think there was much heat behind it. “I’ve just had my heart broken. Forgive me if I’m a little down.”
His glare was much more effective. “Down is one thing. Dead is another. And dead is what you’ll end up if you don’t snap out of it and fast!”
I searched my brain for a good retort, but none came to mind. My vision blurred for a moment, and the next thing I knew, I wasn’t in control of my body anymore.
“Morgan needs some time,” Lugh said through my own mouth. “I’ll fill in for her until she’s ready to participate again.”
If I needed proof positive that I was in bad shape, I now had it. I hadn’t made any attempt to lower my mental barriers, and yet Lugh had been able to take control without the faintest hint of resistance on my part. And though I should have felt alarmed—I was too much of a control freak at heart to appreciate being a passenger in my own body—I merely felt… relieved. Adam was right: I wasn’t up to interviewing PI Barbie.
Adam didn’t look much happier than he had a moment ago. “Should we be … worried?” he asked.
Lugh shook his head. “I feel confident she’ll make a full recovery.”
That makes one of us, I thought at him, but he didn’t bother to answer the thought.
We got out of the car and entered a small office building that might have been a bail bonds office in a past life. Barbie’s office was toward the back, down a dismal hallway that had needed new carpet about twenty years ago. One of the ceiling tiles sported an impressive rust brown water stain, and the paint on the walls had so many scuffs you could almost mistake them for stripes. To enhance that aura of genteel respectability, the letters on Barbie’s door proclaimed ARBARA PA ET, RIVATE INVE TIGAT ON.
I couldn’t help wondering how the hell Barbie could afford to keep her sister at The Healing Circle if this was the best she could do for an office.
How the hell did an old money tycoon like Maguire end up hiring a bargain-basement PI? I thought at Lugh.