Forever and Always

by E. L. Todd

“Now I can write a check and be done with this student loan fiasco,” I said happily. “I don’t even have to go to court.”

  Ryan nodded. “We both deserve this,” he said.

  “I know we do.”

  “So what are you guys going to buy first?” Janice asked with a smile. “I like cars.”

  Ryan and I both laughed. “I think I’m going to save it,” I said. “Just get a comfortable apartment and continue my company.”

  “I don’t think I’m going to change my lifestyle either,” he said. “A million dollars isn’t much.”

  “Wow,” Janice said sarcastically. “You guys are just so adventurous.”

  I laughed. “I think Ryan and I are both ready for a peaceful life.” Ryan nodded. “This is so random. I don’t even know how this came about.”

  Ryan sighed and looked at me. “I need to tell you something, Scar.”

  I stared at him for a moment. “It was you?” I asked. “You did all of this?”

  Ryan shook his head. “No, Sean did.”

  “What?” I asked as I stepped back. “He went behind my back and pried into my family affairs?”

  “I asked him to,” Ryan said quickly. “You told me to drop it, but I refused to do it. We both deserved this money, and I was going to fight for it, but I didn’t understand how to do any of it. That’s why I turned to Sean. He did everything. I just told him to do it. I wasn’t planning on telling you, but in light of recent events, I think you should know.”

  “Why does it matter?”

  Ryan shook his head. “Sean has always been there for you, Scar. He was working on this before he even came back to you. And when he was with Penelope, he was still pursuing it. He beat up your boss, moved here, and now this. If this doesn’t warrant him a second chance, I don’t know what does.”

  I sighed. “That’s why you were pushing for him this whole time?”

  “Yes,” he said. “If you still don’t want to be with him, which I think is idiotic, that’s fine, but you should at least talk to him and tell him how much you appreciate what he did. It’s because of him that all our problems are solved. You owe him at least that.”

  “Why didn’t Sean tell me?”

  “I asked him not to,” Ryan explained. “He kept his word to me even though he could have used it to get you back. He’s loyal, Scar. That’s another reason why he deserves another chance. He did all this work knowing you would never know he did it for you.”

  I stared at the check in my hands and realized Ryan was right. Sean must have worked so hard on securing this money for me, and he never once mentioned it. Even if I didn’t want to be with him, he still deserved my gratitude and acknowledgment. I placed the check on the table and walked to the door. “I’ll be back in a little while.”

  Ryan smiled at me. “Take all the time you need.”

  When I arrived at Mega-Shake, I called Sean with shaky hands. The phone rang a few times before he answered it.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey,” I said.

  Sean was silent for a moment, unsure of what to say because he didn’t know why I was calling. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine,” I said. “Can you meet me at Mega-Shake?”

  “I’ll be there soon,” he said. I hung up the phone and returned it to my pocket. I waited for him in our usual booth by the window. My heart was hammering in my chest as I watched for Sean through the window. Finally, I saw him coming up the sidewalk and my heart nearly exploded at the sight of him. He came into the restaurant and sat down across from me. His face was somber and calm, but the lines of depression could be seen around his eyes. His frame wasn’t as straight as it was before, and I could tell he was reliving our last conversation behind his eyes. It was obvious how much I hurt him. He was uncomfortable just from sitting across me.

  “Hey,” I said.

  Sean nodded, but didn’t speak. The guilt started to course through me as I looked at him. I was responsible for all of his pain.

  “I wanted to talk to you.”

  Sean still didn’t say anything.

  “I wanted to thank you for what you did for Ryan and I—researching my father’s will and getting us that money. It means a lot to me that you did that.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said without looking at me.

  “Ryan already told me it was you.”

  Sean finally looked at me. “You aren’t mad?”

  “No,” I said. “I’m—touched that you did that for me. I was going to lose my company, and now I finally have retribution against my mother for keeping my money for all these years. Her greed cost her more than if she had just paid me to begin with.”

  “That bitch got what she deserved,” Sean said as he put his hands in his pockets and leaned back against the seat. His eyes still looked at everything but me.

  “Thank you, Sean.”

  “You’re welcome,” he whispered. We were silent for a moment and I couldn’t think of anything else to say. I’d already told him how much I appreciated what he did, and Sean was looking more uncomfortable by the minute. I could tell that he wanted to get away from me as soon as possible. “Are we done here?”

  I thought for a moment. “Yes,” I whispered.

  Sean nodded and got up, leaving me sitting alone in the restaurant as he walked out the door without saying goodbye. I felt my heart fall as I watched him go, knowing how much I still loved him and wanted him. As I watched him leave my view from the windows, I realized that Sean had proven his love for me many times, but I was so blindsided by the wrong things that he did that I didn’t notice or value his deeds. The idea of dating other men sounded repulsive when there was only one guy that I wanted. Now Sean was absolutely in love with me and he was mine if I wanted him. Perhaps I should give him another chance.

  I got up from my seat and left the restaurant. Sean was walking down the street when I got outside and I shouted to him.

  “Sean!”

  He stopped and turned around, seeing me standing outside of Mega-Shake. After a moment of hesitation, he walked back to me with his hands in the pockets of his jacket. “What?” he asked when he stopped in front of me.

  I stared at him for a moment. His eyes looked dark in despair and his lips looked colorless and dead, like the blood was draining from his body. I didn’t know what to say, and I felt the words leave my mind.

  “What?” he asked again.

  “I’m sorry about everything.”

  Sean sighed. “Please don’t be.”

  “Does your offer still stand?”

  “What offer?” he asked.

  “That you would always be there if I changed my mind?” I crossed my arms over my chest while I looked at him. He was so cold and distant that I wasn’t sure if he still wanted me. I had hurt him so viciously a few days earlier. I didn’t blame him if he felt differently.

  Sean dropped his hands to his side and a smile stretched on his lips. He stepped towards me and pressed his forehead against mine. I felt my heart quicken in my chest. “Yes,” he said.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

  “I’m sorry too,” he said. He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me to his chest. “Are you giving me another chance?”

  “Forever and Always.”

  He smiled at me. “I promise it will only take one.” Sean pressed his lips against mine and kissed me gently. I felt the tears fall from my eyes as I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me. Sean’s tears dripped onto my face while we kissed. People were walking past us as they moved up the street but we were oblivious to everything going on around us. Sean pulled away from me.

  “I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  Sean sighed as he pressed his head against mine. “I thought I lost you.”

  “No,” I said. “And you’ll never have to worry about it.”

  “Thank you for giving me another chance.”

  “A real chance.”

&n
bsp; “I don’t deserve you,” Sean said with a smile.

  “It’s okay. I don’t deserve you either.”

  Sean laughed. “So you are my hot piece of ass girlfriend again?”

  “Yes, and I better stay that way.”

  “We won’t have a problem there.”

  Sean grabbed my hand and we walked back to the apartment at a slow pace. When we were in the elevator, Sean kissed my cheek as he wrapped his arms around me, and when the doors opened, an old couple was staring at us. We both ignored them as we left the elevator and walked down the hallway to the apartment.

  When we were inside, Janice and Ryan were sitting on the couch with their backs to us. Sean cleared his throat, and Ryan turned his head at the sound. His mouth stretched into a smile when he saw our joined hands. He got up and started clapping loudly and Janice did the same.

  “About fucking time,” Ryan said as he came over to us. He shook hands with Sean and nodded to him. “Don’t fuck this up again,” he said. “You have no idea how many times I had to argue with this brat for you.”

  Sean laughed. “I’m sorry about that,” he said. “I know how annoying she can be. And don’t worry—I got this.”

  “So, you are already making fun of me with my brother?” I asked incredulously. “That didn’t last long.”

  Sean kissed my head. “Get over it.”

  I rolled my eyes.

  “Thank you for everything, Sean,” Ryan said. “You saved our asses.”

  Sean nodded. “That’s what family is for,” he said with a shrug.

  “Let’s go back to your apartment,” I said as I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close, rubbing my nose against his.

  “I’m standing right here,” Ryan said sarcastically.

  “What’s your point?” I said as I started kissing Sean.

  “That’s gross,” he said.

  “I hear you and Janice in the middle of the night,” I snapped.

  “That’s different.”

  “No, it isn’t.”

  “Yes, I’m your older brother—I’m a man.”

  “You are such a sexist pig,” I said as I grabbed Sean’s hand and pulled him towards the door. “I’m going to Sean’s. I probably won’t be home for several days.” We walked out the door and took a cab to Sean’s apartment up the street.

  When we got inside the apartment, I looked around at all the new furniture and decorations in his place. I assumed he let Penelope keep all of his old stuff in his apartment in New York.

  “You have a nice place,” I said as I looked around.

  “Thank you,” he said as he came up behind me. I turned around and started kissing him in the living room, running my hands through his hair and down to his chest. I started to unbutton his shirt when he grabbed my hands and stopped me.

  “Just because we’re in my apartment doesn’t mean I’m going to sleep with you.”

  “You’ve got to be kidding me,” I said. “We’ve already slept together. I don’t want to wait.”

  “I’m sorry.” He sighed. “But it’s not going to happen.”

  “You are killing me.”

  “I know.” He sighed. “I’m anxious too.”

  “Do you not want me?” I asked sadly.

  “That’s a stupid question and you know it,” he said. “Our sex was amazing. Of course I want to do it again.”

  “Why are you being such a prude? That isn’t who you are. I bet you can’t even count the number of girls you’ve slept with.”

  “You’re right,” he said. “And that’s because they didn’t mean anything.”

  My eyes softened at his words.

  I know how frustrated you were last time, but I have to do this. I want you to trust me before I make love to you. Even though you took me back, I know you’re still hurting.”

  I sighed. “Sean, let’s move on.”

  He shook his head. “I’m sorry. I have to do this. I don’t feel like I deserve to make love to you. Let me prove myself.”

  “You are so annoying,” I said as I shook my head.

  He smiled. “I know.”

  “Can we do other stuff?”

  He sighed. “I don’t think so,” he said. “It will be too hard for me to stop.”

  “I seriously want to kill you,” I said.

  Sean laughed. “You really want me.”

  “I think that’s obvious.” I smiled. “I practically had to rape you last time. And it was amazing, so amazing that haven’t stopped thinking about it since. I want to do it again.”

  “We can only kiss—with our clothes on.”

  “I hate you.”

  Sean kissed me. “I love you,” he said. “Now let me show you something.” He grabbed my hand and took me down the hallway to a doorway. When he opened it, he let me walk inside first. There was a large wooden desk in the middle of the room with bookshelves on the walls. There were pictures of us on the desk, along with a filing cabinet for my manuscripts.

  “I thought this could be your office,” he said.

  I stared at the room then looked back at him. “It’s amazing,” I said.

  “Now let me show you this,” he said as he walked into his bedroom. He opened his walk-in closet and showed me the empty part of the storage area, which took up over half of the closet. “I know how much crap you have.” He smiled. Then, he walked over to one of the dressers and pulled open the drawers. “This is all for you.”

  “Do you want me to move in?” I asked.

  “Whenever you’re ready,” he said.

  I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around him. “I love it,” I said as I kissed him.

  “Good,” he said as he kissed me back. I pushed him on top of the bed and climbed on top of him, kissing him passionately as I ran my hands through his hair. Sean moaned when I slipped my tongue in his mouth then he rolled over on top of me, running his hand down my legs. After a moment, he pulled away. “It isn’t going to work, Scarlet, but nice try.”

  I pulled off my shirt then tossed it on the ground. “I want you.”

  He sighed. “I know.”

  I unbuttoned my pants and slipped them off. “Please.”

  He leaned over me then removed my underwear and bra. I was so happy that I wore down his defenses and won. I reached for his shirt but he wouldn’t let me remove it. He pulled me to the edge of the bed then kneeled on the floor. I knew what he was going to do.

  “I want to make love, Sean.”

  “No.”

  “Then fuck me.”

  He swallowed the lump in his throat. “I can’t do that either. But I want to please you. Don’t worry, I’ll still make you come every night.” As soon as his tongue licked my clit, I was lost to him. I wanted to say no, that it wasn’t fair to him, but my hormones won the battle of logical thought. He rubbed my clit then he inserted his fingers within me and made me experience a new realm of pleasure. He kissed my thighs as he swirled his fingers around me. I gripped his hair as he made me shake. He rose to a stand and leaned over me, still fingering me. I opened my legs further apart, so he could maneuver deeper.

  “Come for me, babe.”

  “I am.”

  “Come on.” He kissed my lips and I gripped his back with sharp nails. Luckily, he still had his shirt on.

  I felt the explosion hit me. “I’m coming.”

  “I love you.”

  “Sean.” I moaned. “Babe.”

  “I love you more than anything.”

  “Sean, I love you too.”

  My orgasm ended and I felt the air return to my lungs. Sean pulled his fingers out of me then kissed me gently. I waited for him to remove his pants but he didn’t. He sat next to me on the bed.

  He got off me and I sighed. “You must be gay.”

  “Or just madly in love.”

  “No,” I said. “You’re gay.”

  Sean laughed. “I’ll prove you wrong eventually.”

  “Can we still sleep together?” I asked.


  “I assumed we would tonight—fully dressed, of course.”

  “We’ll see,” I said. “There are things I can do that will make you lose control. You won’t be able to be such a gentleman.”

  Sean walked back to me and leaned over me. “I don’t think you understand how hard this is for me,” he said. “Please respect my wishes and don’t try to seduce me. You’re right—I won’t be able to resist you—so please don’t compromise me. I am only doing this because I love you—that’s it.”

  I stared at the sincerity in his eyes and immediately felt guilty for deciding to test his limits. I wanted to make love to Sean, but I knew this was important to him. If he didn’t care about me like any other girl, then he would sleep with me, but since he actually loved me, he wouldn’t. I grabbed his face and kissed him gently. “I won’t,” I said. “I’m sorry I was being such a slut.”

  Sean laughed loudly then hugged me. “Thank you,” he said. “After we get past this, you can be as much of a slut as you want. In fact, a bigger slut is always better.”

  “But only for you, right?”

  “Yes,” he said. “Only for me.

  Epilogue

  Six months later, Sean officially asked me to move in with him. While I was happy that he decided we were ready for this new stage in our relationship, I was also confused. We still hadn’t slept together. Against my strong desire for the love of life, I respected his wishes and did the best I could not compromise him by making a sexual advance on him. We had gotten carried away a few times when I slept over, but one of us would stop our actions before they escalated into something more. There were times when I knew Sean had no control over his emotions, and he would have slept with me if I didn’t calm him down by stopping him. More often, it was me that lost control and crossed the lines that Sean had drawn. So, when he asked me to move in, I assumed that meant Sean knew I was ready for a physical relationship.

  When I told Ryan I was moving, he seemed genuinely happy about it. Our apartment was only a few blocks from his, so we would still see each other on a regular basis. Janice was still living with him and Ryan seemed happier than ever. I suspected he was going to propose soon, but he hadn’t said anything to me. I knew he would tell me when he decided.