by LJ Baker
***
I typed the last few sentences of my article and hit the save button, happy with the way it turned out. I was about to flip on the tv and relax until Kat returned, when I heard a loud banging on the front door. I went to get the door, a little annoyed with the obnoxiousness of whoever was on the other side.
"What!" I yelled, pulling open the door. It took me a moment to register that it was Sebastian standing there, looking panicked.
"Lexi?" he asked, as if he didn't quite believe it was me.
"Obviously, Sebastian, what are you doing here?" My irritation grew seeing him standing there. He had a lot of nerve showing up at my house after what happened.
Rather than answering, he took a step forward, kicked the door shut, and pulled me against him. He took my chin in his hand to hold my face steady, and looked hard into my eyes.
"Your car," he whispered. "I thought..." he trailed off, choking on the words, pain visible on his face.
All at once it hit me. He was worried to begin with, probably more so since his wife died in a car crash, then he saw my car crushed by a tree. Guilt replaced my anger. I actually felt bad for what he went through.
"I'm fine. I was waiting for the storm to slow down and..."
"You could have been killed," he said, in a tone mixed with anger and fear.
"Well, I'm fine, so you don't need to worry about me." I pushed his hand off my chin and tried to wiggle out of his grasp. I could not be that close to him without my body betraying me.
"I can't help but worry about you," he growled, refusing to let go of me.
"Why not? You hardly know me, Sebastian. What is it that drives you to do things like threaten guys I'm interested in, tricking me into sleeping with you, and going into a panic because a tree fell on my car? Should you be on some sort of medication?" I stopped struggling to get free, but kept my hands firmly on his chest to keep some distance between us.
"I wasn't trying to trick you. It was wrong. Don't you think I know that?" He turned his head. Guilt clearly visible on his face. "I went to that hotel to stop you from making a mistake and screwing that stripper. I was only going to play around with you then take the blindfold off. I swear to you, I had no intention of taking it that far." He turned back to meet my eyes, as his pleaded with me, to believe him, for forgiveness, something.
"Then why did you?" I knew he was sorry. I believed every word he said, but that didn't make it okay.
"I have no good answer for that." He shook his head, breaking eye contact. "When I'm near you I lose all ability to think clearly. I can't breathe, can't think, can't focus on anything but the way it feels touching you. Tell me you don't feel it too. Just say the words and I will leave you alone." He stared into me like he could see right into my heart.
The thing was, I felt the same way. I knew exactly what he was talking about because that was precisely how I felt around him. Part of me was still angry that he wasn't honest with me but another part understood that desperate pull that existed between us.
"I can't. I feel it too," I said, my voice nearly a whisper.
No. This wasn't okay.
I struggled again to free myself, but he still refused to release me. "None of that matters, Sebastian. I can't trust you. What you did… that was wrong. You had plenty of opportunities to tell me the truth and you chose not to. That's kinda fucked up."
He loosened his grip just enough, yet still held me captive in his arms. "I know. I have no excuse. Please forgive me. If nothing else, I just need to know that you don't hate me."
"I don't hate you." Not even if I tried. "But I don't think this is gonna work between us, like you said. I think… I think we should just stay away from each other." Even as I got the words from my mouth, I knew I didn't want them to be true.
His breathing was coming in fast, short bursts, matching my own. "I don't think I can do that."
"What does that mean? You're the one who said it was a bad idea just earlier today."
He nodded and looked away. "I did. And then I watched you drive away."
He turned back and his face betrayed a brokenness so deep that it reached inside me and tugged at my own broken soul, like it was the other half of my own missing piece. In just that look, and in that moment, I knew everything I needed to know.
Sebastian looked from my eyes to my lips. I knew exactly what was going through his mind because I felt it deep inside me. It was as if we could read each other's thoughts.
I dropped my hands from his chest, no longer holding him back, giving him permission. Wasting no time, he pulled me closer, our bodies tight up against each other like he was trying to pull me right into him. He pressed his lips into mine, as with all things Sebastian, it was rough and demanding. His tongue explored my mouth, claiming it as his own. He ran his hands over my body, tugging my shirt up and over my head, tossing it to the floor. I was grateful that I hadn't bothered to put on a bra after I changed out of my wet clothes. It would have been one more unwanted barrier between my skin and the touch I so desperately craved.
My heart thumped hard against my chest in anticipation. He slid his hands up my body slowly, savoring every millimeter, cupping each breast into willing hands. My breath caught in my throat as he rolled the taut peaks between his rough fingers. I leaned my head back, letting the sensations take over. A small moan escaped my lips as he brought his mouth down, tasting the soft skin. My fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him tighter against me.
His hands roamed over me greedily as his mouth continued its relentless assault on my mouth, neck, breasts. My awareness focused in on his abundance of clothing as my fingers struggled to undo the many buttons of his shirt. Starting from the bottom, he helped, working much more efficiently, as I took care of the top buttons. His shirt ended up in a pile on the floor near mine.
He pulled back and looked at me as if he wanted to ask something, but was unsure how to proceed. My first instinct was to protest, to pull him back, but I could tell from his expression that was not going to work.
"What is it?" I asked, trying to fumble with his belt buckle.
He placed his hand on top of mine and stilled my hand. "Wait," he growled.
"Why?" I was being impatient. Thoughts of anything other than getting the rest of his clothes off and feeling him against me overtook all rational thinking.
"Because I don't want you to regret this. I want, no I need to know, that this is what you want."
"There's nothing I want more Sebastian."
He looked me over once more, then scooped me into his arms and started walking in the direction of the bedrooms. He stopped briefly waiting for me to point out which room was mine, before he kicked the door open and tossed me onto the bed.
I sat up with my legs dangling over the side as he stood in front of me, no longer preventing me access to his belt. I undid the pesky barrier, unclasped his pants, pushing them open, and clumsily tried to push them to the floor. I'd never actually undressed a man before. It was something they usually took care of quite efficiently themselves. Probably because I'd never been that impatient to get a guy naked before.
He easily stepped out of the pants, kicked off his shoes at the same time and stood before me in tight, black boxer-briefs. For one quick moment, a wave of uncertainty came over me. I looked up at him, nervously. He reached down, tucking stray hairs behind my ear, and took my hands, pulling me up to him.
"If you're not ready..." His eyes searched mine for something. Doubt, maybe?
I was not having second thoughts. I wanted it as much as I knew he did, maybe more. That realization scared me a little. Those feelings were all new for me.
"I am." I took a deep breath and pushed my shorts over my hips, letting them fall to the floor.
He took my face into his hands, an ocean of blue looked down at me. "Good, because I need you right now." His voice was low, dripping with need.
I pushed the band of his boxers down and with a little help from him, they were on the floor, releasin
g his thick purple head to thump against my belly. Even though it had been inside me that night at the hotel, seeing it here in front of me in the light was like a first introduction. It was impressive in both size and thickness and my first thought was to see if it tasted as good as it looked. My mouth watered in anticipation as I licked over my lips to share the wetness.
I sat down on the bed and took his length into my hands, feeling the tight flesh throb against me. I glanced up to see his reaction to my touch. He had that same amused smile, one side of his mouth pulled up deliciously.
"Enjoying yourself?" he asked, as my finger traced down his length.
I nodded my head, very much enjoying Sebastian in all his naked glory. I leaned forward, and licked the glistening drops at the tip. He groaned and nudged my face away, lifting me back further on the bed. My brief protest was quickly forgotten as he hooked his fingers through the thin lace strips over each hip and slid my panties down, pulling each foot through before tossing them off the side of the bed.
His eyes, dark and needy, took in my nakedness from my toes up, slowly stopping at my eyes before letting his gaze fall lower. Climbing up between my thighs, he nudged my legs apart, sliding his hands up the soft flesh.
"Mmm," he growled, and ran his thumb across the small patch of dark hair.
Sebastian brought out a needy impatience from me that left me desperate for his touch. I wanted him more than I wanted to breathe. His slow exploration with his fingers teased and tormented me, leaving me panting and begging for more. I was nearing my frustration tolerance when he pressed two thick fingers inside me and dipped his face down, licking his tongue up the length of me in one long, agonizing stroke.
He pulled back, his breath cool against my swollen heat, enjoying his slow tease. I lifted my hips toward him, my fingers reaching for his hair. He took my wrists into his hands and held them motionless at my sides, preventing me from pulling him in against me. I was close to begging when he leaned down once again and brought his tongue against me, swirling around the throbbing nub. He released one wrist and slid his fingers, still dripping with my wetness, back inside me, slowly moving in and out, matching the speed of his tongue.
I was well beyond the ability to form coherent thoughts long before he had me a panting, pleading mess, calling out his name as the world exploded around me. He slid off me, leaving me breathless and unable to move. For a second I thought he was leaving, until I heard the sound of a package tearing. I tried to force my eyes apart but they refused to comply. He climbed back on the bed, positioned himself above me and pressed his hardness against my belly.
"Open your eyes, Lexi," he demanded, letting his thick head slide lower and thump against my clit. I lifted my hips, trying to push him into me but he backed out of my reach. "Oh no you don't. Open your eyes first."
I tried again, opening them to slits, to see him smiling down at me, looking even more edible than usual. I blinked a few times before they were sufficiently open.
"Good girl." He pushed against me and slid in entirely, in one expert stroke.
The feel of Sebastian inside me was one no words could describe. He filled me completely. My insides molded around him as if he was designed specifically to fit my body. He fell into a deliberate pace of thrusting in hard and fast and pulling out agonizingly slow. I dug my nails into his back and pushed up against him, trying to quicken his pace, wanting it faster, harder, deeper.
"Please, Sebastian," I begged. "I need you."
"You have me, baby." He laughed, obviously still reveling in the tease.
"Please!"
"Okay, okay. Is this what you want?" he growled, picking up his pace, thrusting faster.
"Yes…" I was breathless, losing myself in the steady build that threatened to push me over once again.
Sebastian's smile faded, no longer amused or teasing. His breath was coming in short fast pants, telling me he was close. I wrapped my legs around his waist, giving him a tighter angle and squeezed myself around him. He lost his last shred of control, his thick head swelled, and released inside me, pulling me along with him.
I kept my legs wrapped around him as he held himself on one arm and rested his head against my chest. I couldn't bring myself to let go right away, not wanting the moment to be over, wanting to keep what we shared going for as long as possible.
When he caught his breath, Sebastian rolled off of me, pulling me with him to tumble on top of him. He wrapped his arms loosely around my waist and kissed the top of my head.
Maybe he didn't want the moment to end either.
I let myself breathe in his musky scent, wanting to memorize every detail of him as sleepiness washed over me, blurring the lines between post-orgasmic bliss and the kind of dreams you never wanted to wake from.
CHAPTER TWELVE
I woke to the sound of my cell buzzing, limbs tangled, hair a disaster, and the heavy breathing of Sebastian in a deep sleep next to me. I reached over to the nightstand to grab the phone before it buzzed itself right off onto the floor.
'Be home in five. Need anything from Stop Quick?'
I typed back a quick reply to Kat.
'Nah, all good.'
She was always considerate like that.
Wait, shit, she was on her way home... with Matt.
I glanced over at Sebastian all sleepy and sweet. There was no way I could have him up, dressed and out before they pulled in. I typed Kat another message, hoping it wasn't too late.
'Don't bring Matt up. PLEASE!'
I knew she would have no idea why I would send her such a text, but I also knew she would do as I asked.
I carefully slid myself out from under Sebastian's arm and leg that had been draped over me possessively, trying not to wake him. I slipped my shorts on, not bothering with the panties, and looked around for my shirt before realizing it was probably still in the living room near the front door. I yanked a t-shirt from my dresser and slipped it over my head, feeling the wild mess that had become of my hair. If Matt did come up, he would know exactly what I was up to looking like that.
I ran into the bathroom to run a brush through the tangled mess of hair, quickly yanking knots free, and quite a few strands with it. I piled it on top of my head into a messy bun and headed for the living room to grab the clothes strewn on the floor. Before I could get to the evidence, the door swung open and Kat took a step in. She looked around and her eyes settled on the shirts near her feet.
"Lexi James, what are you up to you dirty girl?" She snatched the shirts up from the floor and stood waiting for my explanation with her hand on her hip and her eyebrows raised.
I was grateful when she kicked the door closed behind her, no sign of my brother.
I gave her my best fake innocent look. "I have no idea what you are talking about?" Walking over to her, I tried to pull the shirt from her grip, but she only released one of the shirts. Luckily, it was Sebastian's. I just shrugged and sank into the oversized chair in the corner.
"Not funny. Spill it. Who was here? Wait, his shirt is still here, so who is still here?" Her eyes grew large and her mouth dropped open in surprise.
Even when I was dating Marcus, I never brought a guy home. Any time we fooled around, it was at his place and only when his roommate was away for the weekend. I was sure that finding clothes thrown carelessly on the floor was a shock to Kat.
"It's no big deal. Stop looking at me like I just lost my virginity. I have gotten naked with guys before, you know."
"I lied to Matty to keep him from following me up, and gave up my chance for some hot sex tonight too, I'll have you know." She walked over and yanked the shirt from my hands and eyed it curiously. "Now tell me who this belongs to, or I'll go take a look for myself."
I knew she meant it too.
"Oh, that's where that went," Sebastian said, sneaking out from the bedroom, fully dressed besides his shirt. He walked over to Kat, took the shirt and began putting it on, facing away from her.
'Oh. My. God.' She mouthed
behind his back, in overly dramatic fashion. She couldn't possibly have thought it was anyone else. At least, I didn't think she could have.
"Did you have a nice evening out, Katarina?" he asked, smoothing his shirt, and turning back to give her an amused smile.
Her mouth was still dropped open and she was not being her typical flirty, extroverted self.
"Uh... yes," she stammered, as she glanced back from Sebastian to me. "We went to a fight."
"Jon still running them?" he asked, taking a seat on the arm of the sofa and giving her his full attention for the first time.
"Jon, yes. You know him?" She was still looking strangely uncomfortable, but he piqued her interest so she was forming full sentences again.
"Yes," he laughed. "I know him."
Kat's eyes narrowed and she got her suspicious look.
"How do you know him?"
He stood up, towering over her much smaller frame and for the first time, Kat looked intimidated.
"I used to be one of his fighters." He winked at her then walked over to me, taking my hands in his. "I have a meeting in the morning. Can I call you?"
"Did you buy a new phone?" It might be difficult to call with the one I watched him slam into the pavement.
"Not yet, but I will." The corners of his mouth pulled down into a sad frown.
I gave him a small nod before he wrapped one strong arm around my waist, pulling me close. He kissed my lips softly, sweet, and so out of character for Sebastian. His stubble grazed against my cheek and I could still smell my scent on his face. I wanted to tell him to screw the meeting and drag him back to my bedroom, but he pulled back and was gone before I could open my mouth.
Kat stood, hand on hip, one eyebrow raised as was so typical for her, tapping her foot impatiently.
"You had better get talking, chickie."
***
"Wow. Just, wow, Lexi. I mean, I kind of had my suspicions that it was Sebastian at the hotel after you told me it wasn't Sam, but I would have thought you'd punch his lights out, not sleep with him, when you found out."