by LJ Baker
"Why is it you look like you just crawled out of bed?" I asked her.
"Maybe she did just crawl out of bed. She is a newlywed you know." Kat took a long draw off her root beer and flashed me a quick wink.
"Oh ha ha. Justin's cousin had some sort of accident and we've been at the hospital practically nonstop for days. Apparently, he isn't doing too well.
I could feel the color drain out of my face and everything around me sounded like it suddenly got very far away.
Sebastian is Justin's cousin.
Oh my God. What if something awful happened to him and that was why he didn't call?
I pulled my phone out to check, hoping that there would be a text and everything was fine.
Kat noticed my panic without me saying a word. "Lex, what's wrong? Are you okay?"
Jamie brought her feet down and leaned over, touching my arm. "Hon, what is it?"
"What happened to him?" I practically whispered.
"Who? Justin's cousin?" Jamie looked at me very confused.
"Sebastian?" Kat caught on to what had me so upset.
"Oh, no hon, not Sebastian. It was Lincoln, Sebastian's older brother." Jamie smoothed her hand up and down my arm. "He fell down some stairs and he's been unconscious. The doctors said swelling in his brain or something like that."
My surroundings started to drift back into focus.
"Sebastian is okay?" I needed the confirmation for some reason.
"Yes, he's fine. Well, I mean he's not fine, but physically, he's okay. Are you two involved? What the hell have I missed?"
I looked at Kat for help with that one and let her explain everything to Jamie. Thankfully, she was general and left out some of the more embarrassing details.
The thought of something bad happening to Sebastian had tore my insides to pieces. It didn't make sense that I would have such a strong reaction to it, considering I'd only known the guy a couple weeks. I just couldn't help it. There was something about Sebastian that grabbed hold of me and refused to let go. The way I felt around him was like nothing I'd ever felt with another man.
I had spent half the time since I'd last seen him thinking he was a jerk for not calling like he said he would and he was sitting in some hospital watching over his unconscious brother. I was a shit. I pulled out my cell and typed a quick message to him.
'Heard about your brother. So sorry. Hope all turns out well.'
I didn't expect an answer back but my phone buzzed almost immediately.
'Sorry for not calling. My phone was dead and I didn't want to leave to charge it. Meet me tonight?'
That was unexpected. I typed back a reply just in time to notice both Jamie and Kat silently staring at me, curiously.
"What?" I tried to look innocent but they weren't buying it.
"Was that Sebastian you were texting?"
"Yes," I popped a piece of bread into my mouth. "So?"
"Um, you said, and I quote, 'There is no way in hell I am texting or calling that bastard', just last night." Kat made a ridiculous impression of me as she spoke.
"Yes, well, that was when I thought he was being a douche and avoiding me. It wasn't his fault."
"Yeah, I'd cut him some slack. This morning when we went up to visit, he looked like crap. He hasn't even left the hospital since it happened. He doesn't smell too great either." Jamie made a disgusted face at the memory.
"Oh. He asked me to meet him tonight." Knowing he hadn't left his brother's side made it seem odd that he all of a sudden wanted to see me.
Jamie and Kat both stared at me, mouths dropped open, in shock.
"Are you sure you didn't misunderstand?" Jamie was the first to speak, giving me a skeptical look.
"Yes, I'm sure." I held my phone out, showing them the text. They looked at each other and both shrugged at the same time.
Jamie's phone rang. I'm yours by Jason Mraz started playing, letting us know it was Justin calling. Kat nudged me under the table.
"Did you say yes?" she whispered, trying not to disturb Jamie's call.
I nodded, trying not to look as excited as I felt.
Damn body, always betraying me!
"Oh my God! That was Justin. Lincoln woke up right after I left and he's doing a whole lot better!"
It made more sense that Sebastian wanted to see me now that I knew Lincoln had woke up.
"So he's going to be all right?" I asked her.
"Looks like it. Lincoln was always more like an uncle to Justin than a cousin, being so much older and all, but I know they've always been close. It would be hard for Justin to lose him. Sebastian too. I've gotten to know him a lot better over the last few days." Jamie tossed some bills on the table towards lunch and stood to leave. "I'm gonna head over and pick Justin up. He has been glued to the hospital and I'm sure he is ready to go now that he's okay."
She stopped and turned back after taking a few steps. "Lex, you know he was married right?"
"Yeah, he told me she died." I recalled his eyes, so sad when he talked about his wife.
"Justin says he's never been the same since. Don't expect too much from him, ya know?"
I nodded. I wasn't really expecting anything from him. It wasn't like I was looking to replace his dead wife. That was the last thing I needed. I had to admit, I did want to see him again, and only partly because of the sex. Sure the sex was amazing and another round wouldn't be turned down, but there was something else, something I couldn't quite put my finger on. Regardless of the fact that I knew whatever this was would be temporary, I couldn't stop from seeing it through.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
I hadn't been that nervous for a date, in who knew how long.
Wait, was this even a date?
He said, 'Meet me', but maybe that just meant he wanted to talk, or maybe it meant he wanted to fuck. I was confused and nervous, like I was thirteen and going out with a cute boy for the first time. Only problem was, I wasn't thirteen and this wasn't our first time, for anything. I'd slept with him, and I was using the term 'slept with' loosely, twice already. It was crazy for me to be such a giant ball of nerves. My stomach flip flopped, in further evidence of my irrationality.
Sebastian texted that he would pick me up at eight after he had a chance to go to the office and get some work done. With Lincoln in the hospital, he'd spent every possible moment with him, letting everything at work pile up. I offered to take a rain check so he could catch up, but he was insistent about seeing me. Not that I wanted to reschedule, because I sure as hell did not.
Since I had no clue what he had in mind, choosing what to wear was only adding to my anxiety. I knew I should have just shot him a text and asked, but for some reason, that only made me more tense. I had no idea what had gotten into me. Even Kat didn't know what to say. She watched me pace around the apartment and change clothes four times, just shaking her head, not saying a word.
I finally settled on a charcoal gray top with cut away shoulders, and my favorite pair of black skinny jeans. I finished the look off with a pair of short, suede boots and left my hair down, leaving the natural curls to frame my face in loose ringlets. Luckily the humidity was low, or it would have been a frizzy mess. Not that I couldn't have taken the flat iron to it, but I hated to be bothered.
"Why are you so nervous? You really like him, don't you?" Kat gave me a sly smile, pointing out the obvious that I was trying to deny, even to myself.
"I don't know what you're talking about." I tried looking nonchalant about it all, knowing full well, I was failing.
"Uh huh, right. Lex, I know when you are falling for someone. You can't fool me, even when you manage to fool yourself."
"Okay, maybe I am a little nervous and sure I like him, but I most certainly am not falling for him." I shook my head at her. How could she even think that? The last thing I needed was to get some guy into my head like that. I was done with relationships for good. She knew that.
At exactly eight there was a knock on the door. For the life of me, I would nev
er understand why the guy never used the doorbell. Kat ran over to let him in, making sure she had a chance to get some information from him.
"So where are you two love birds headed this evening?" she asked, taking his arm and inviting him inside.
"Nice to see you again, Katarina. Where is your boyfriend tonight?" He never missed an opportunity to bring Matt up to her. Maybe it was his way of keeping her from flirting with him.
"Will you be home late?" She completely ignored his question.
Sebastian looked directly at me, a small smile curved up one corner of his mouth. "Anything is possible, Katarina." He pried himself from her grip, and extended a hand to me. I took a step forward, accepted his waiting hand, and left Kat mouthing 'Have Fun' behind us.
Outside, he opened the door to a hot little Ferrari, gently closing it behind me. It was not the black Lexus he usually drove. The car smelled new and extravagantly expensive. It looked just like the car Matt used to have taped up on his wall when we lived home.
"Nice car."
"I save it for special occasions."
"This is a special occasion?" I raised one eyebrow at him, still having no idea what he had planned.
"It is indeed. Lincoln is awake and doing well, it's a beautiful night, and I'm with you. It hardly gets more special than that." He winked, put the car into gear, and took off down the road.
I normally hated fast driving. When Matt drove crazy I was near panic, but somehow with Sebastian, it was different. I didn't feel the tiniest bit anxious, and he was going much faster than Matt ever did. I did find it a little strange that he drove like that after his wife had died in a car accident. It piqued my interest further but I couldn't exactly blurt out 'so tell me the details of your dead wife's accident'.
We drove in silence, until we came to a clearing off the main road. I could see tiny twinkling lights hanging from a tree and a cozy table for two with candles. A small tent was set up nearby that was lit up, but I couldn't tell what was inside. I glanced over at Sebastian curiously.
"I thought we needed a proper date." He got out of the car, and came around to open my door. The chivalry was not something I was used to, and normally, not interested in. The only person who normally opened car doors for me was Matt, and that was really more because his monster truck was much bigger than me. Somehow with Sebastian though, I enjoyed it.
"It's beautiful. Did you do all this?"
"Sadly, I did not. I had my assistant take care of it while I was finishing up work. Ms. Rivers is much more adept at such things.
The air smelled of lilac and jasmine. Small candles sat around three larger ones in the middle of the table. Two place settings in a flowery china were set at opposite ends of the small table. It was absolutely gorgeous. Marcus made dinner for me once. We had overcooked pasta that dissolved the middle of the paper plates it sat on, and red solo cups of soda. He did light some candles, but that was only because the power went out halfway through. The idiot probably spent the bill money on video games.
An older man in a tux came out from the tent with two covered plates, placing them down in front of us, removed the lid, and disappeared back inside the tent. Sebastian poured us each a glass of wine and soft music began playing from a speaker set up nearby. It was one of those moments you see on TV or read about in romance novels, the kind of thing you really never expect to happen in real life. Yet there I sat, across from Sebastian, in the middle of a romantic dinner, with butterflies doing back flips in my belly and soft music intoxicating my senses.
We had talked a lot when I came to Bas-Linc, but that was mostly about his work, his brother, and my career as a journalist. By the time dinner was over, I felt like he knew my entire life story. He asked question after question, about my family, school, hobbies, just about everything there was to ask. I carefully left out quite a bit, not bothering to mention any details about my parents or my views on relationships. Not that I was trying to keep the information from him, but the evening was going so well, I didn't want to talk about anything that would spoil it.
After dinner, we took a walk down past the tree line, to a large pond. He told me that the property actually belonged to his family and was where he spent half of his childhood. I tried to imagine Sebastian as a little boy, running through the grassy field and catching frogs in the pond. I couldn't hold back the smile that came to my lips.
"What's so amusing?" He nudged me with his elbow, stopping to look at me, the moonlight casting a halo behind his perfect head.
"I was picturing you as a child." I suddenly felt shy standing there with him.
"Makes sense then, I was kind of a funny looking kid."
"Somehow, I doubt that." I rolled my eyes at him. There was no way I could imagine that specimen of perfection as anything less.
"Well, it's true. I can show you photos. So Jamie told me your father is getting married soon."
"Yeah, he knocked up another one." It slipped out of my mouth before I could stop myself.
He pulled me down into the grass and rested his head on his arms. "I get the feeling you don't have the best relationship with your parents."
"That's an understatement."
"Tell me about them." He rolled onto his side and propped himself up on his elbow, giving me his full attention. That was the last thing I wanted at that moment.
"It's not really typical first date kind of conversation. Tell me more about your family. What was Justin like when he was little?"
I could see the corners of his mouth turn down into a frown even in the moonlight, making me want to do anything in my power to erase his sad look.
"I don't think there is anything typical about this whole relationship."
Relationship.
Just the hearing the word made me uneasy. I wanted to get up and walk back to the table where there was more light, where I wasn't laying inches from him under the glow of the moonlight and where every breath didn't include fresh grass and the intoxicating scent of Sebastian.
He reached his hand for mine, his touch sent a tingling sensation up my arm. My whole body reacted to the tiniest of touches, making me want him in ways I knew I would regret. I jumped up from the ground and started heading back, unable to process the way he made me feel.
"Hey, where are you going?" he called after me, jumping to his feet.
"It's late. I should get home." I walked faster, trying to keep a pace or two in front of him. I was afraid he would take my hand again and I wasn't sure if I could deny my body what it wanted, despite what my brain screamed was the better choice.
"Lexi, stop. Did I do something wrong? Is it because I asked about your parents?" He grabbed my arm, stopping me.
My skin burned under his hand. I wanted to slap him, tell him to leave me alone. Everything I wanted became a distant thought when I was around him. He took away my ability to think or act rationally and I didn't know how to stop it.
Sebastian brought out feelings in me that I'd locked away so many years ago and I was too afraid to hand over the key and let him in. Even with Marcus, I'd never given him my heart. I cared about him, but not in any way that could ever be considered love. With Sebastian though, everything was different. I had no control and my emotions were on a runaway train headed for the end of the track.
"You wanna know about my parents, Sebastian?" I spat at him.
"Yes, I do. I want to know all there is to know about you, good or bad." His voice was calm, sincere, despite the fact that I was flipping out on him out of nowhere.
"Okay, well my father, the gem that he is, cheated on my mother every chance he got before leaving not only her, but me behind. Then he decided he was going to have another wife, and kid because he sure as hell didn't want me, or my siblings anymore. When that didn't work out, he got himself a new wife, and another and another. Now he's working on wife number seven and kid number five. He's really no different than any other man, except that he cycles through women a bit faster than most. My father is an overachiever in the
relationship department."
He didn't say a word. He just watched me calmly, which only made me angrier.
"And let's not forget my mother. Dear old mom always liked to spend her afternoons with a cheap bottle vodka and whatever juice the food stamps got her that should have went to feed her children. Mom never blamed the bottle or Dad's man-whore personality for him leaving, it was always because she wasn't pretty enough or good enough to make him stay. She also never forgot to tell me how much like her I was, which was why he didn't want me either."
He stayed silent as I practically yelled at him. His hands bunched tightly at his sides and the corners of his mouth tilted slightly down were the only evidence of emotion.
"Look, Sebastian, this was really nice tonight, but I don't know what you think is gonna happen here. I'm not looking to get involved with anyone. It's just not worth it. Sex with you is amazing, but I just don't want anything more, so if that's what this whole romantic date thing tonight was about, you can just take me home now because it's never going to happen." I turned and headed for the car, not giving him a chance to respond.
He didn't follow right away. I didn't hear footsteps behind me until I was nearly back to the car. I was sure he thought I was some sort of lunatic by then anyway. I felt guilty for ruining the night when he tried so hard to make everything perfect. It really was the perfect first date. The problem with that was, dates led to relationships, and relationships never lasted.
We were halfway back to the apartment before he said anything. A few times, he turned his head toward me and looked like he wanted to speak, but then turned away, not saying a word.
"Let me be your date for the wedding."
Wait, what? Didn't he hear anything I said?
"I don't need a date."
"You want to go to a wedding alone?" He slowed down, as if he was trying to drag out the trip home.
"Sure, why not? I seem to recall a certain wedding recently that we both attended alone. Besides, I won't really be alone, Kat and my brother will be there."
"Okay, you got me there, but weddings are better with a date." He slowed to under the speed limit.