by J. G. Sumner
“To some extent they are. But it has an impact on them that lasts forever. We can’t do that to them.”
“Do you love me?” I ask her the same question Beth asked me only moments before. I had to think about my answer. I wonder how Parker will respond.
Parker looks at me like I have two heads. “Of course I do. I wouldn’t have married you if I didn’t.”
I sigh. “I know you loved me when we got married, and I know you love me. But are you in love with me. For that matter, have you ever been in love with me?”
Parker puts her head down and avoids eye contact with me. “Yes, I am.”
“Really?” I stand up. “Because that sounds an awful like you’re trying to convince yourself of it.” I put my hands on her shoulders. “It’s okay to fall out of love. We’ve been together for years. Sometimes life just takes you in different directions. I think that’s what’s happened here.”
“No! I do love you. But I can see it in your eyes that you don’t feel the same. It hurts. What can I do to make you love me again?”
I’m exhausted. I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster today and I’m not sure how to feel or what to do. “I will always love you. You’re the mother of my boys. I just don’t know that I can ever be in love with you again.”
“But there’s a chance?”
I take the glass from Parker and sip on the scotch. “I don’t know. I want to say yes, but I don’t know.”
“Trent, please. We have to try. Maybe we should go to counseling or something. I'm not ready to give up on us. We need to be able to tell our children we’ve done everything possible to make this marriage work. Six months. That’s all I’m asking to get our lives back on track. If we’re still not able to make it work after that, then we can walk away knowing we tried our best.”
I mull it over. Six months isn’t a lot to ask. Plus, Beth said that she’d wait for me. But if I’m just waiting for those six months to be up before I can be with the person I want to, then what is the point? I think about my boys and how everything will change for them. In that moment I know that I have to put them before myself or anyone else.
“Fine. Let’s make an appointment for counseling.” I down the rest of the scotch as the image of Beth waving goodbye flashes before my eyes. I close them, trying to remember her scent and the feel of her touch. When did I let this girl get under so far under my skin?
Parker places her arms around my neck and plants a soft kiss against my lips. For a moment I try to imagine it’s Beth. I try to shake Beth out of my head and I kiss Parker back. It’s been a while since we’ve kissed. Too long. I almost forgot what it was like.
She pulls back, smiling. “That wasn’t so bad was it?”
I don’t know if she’s trying to convince herself or me.
“What would you like me to make for brunch tomorrow?” she asks sweetly.
“You’re going to be here? I thought you had a prior engagement.” The words come out of my mouth before I realize the ramification of them.
“I did, but I’m going to cancel it. I think this is more important.”
I nod, surprised that Parker would change her plans. She has refused to cancel anything I’ve asked her to over the last few months.
“By the way, how did you know about it?”
I scramble for a second trying to find the right answer that would scream out I’m having an affair. “Beth called a little while ago to find out what time she should be here. I told her I’d have you call back. I forgot until right now.” Sounds like a plausible explanation-I hope.
“Yes, it was just with the Daughters of the American Revolution. It’s a monthly meeting so I can go next month. It’s no big deal.” Parker smiles and attempts to kiss me again.
I cut her off. “You’re not hosting it?”
“Amanda and I were co-hosts. I’ll just let her know I can’t make it. You’re not disappointed are you?”
“No, just a little shocked. I’m glad you’ll be here.”
Parker presses her lips to mine. I kiss her back. With Beth still fresh on my mind, I find my kiss to be almost forced. But I promised to try. I at least need to make the effort.
Parker pulls back but continues to embrace me. “What do you say the five of us go out to dinner? It’s been such a long time. We can go get pizza or something.”
“That sounds nice.”
“Great! I’ll go get freshened up and get the boys ready. Just give me a few minutes.” Parker seems almost giddy as she leaves the office. I’m not sure what I’ve signed up for, but I hope to God I don’t screw anything else up.
Chapter 11
Parker
I can’t miss the opportunity to have breakfast with Trent’s mom. He loves her more than I’ve ever seen a son love his mother. They don’t visit with each other very often, but when they do it’s for a good reason. I have a feeling there’s more going on than he’s telling, and I need to know what it is. Besides, I’ve let my father’s plan of manipulation get way out of control. I never thought Trent would actually consider leaving me, but here we are. And all because I brought Beth into my home. What the hell was I thinking? I still can’t believe I ever agreed to this. To make things worse, I haven’t found any information about Jonathon. All this has been for nothing.
I’ve been slaving away on brunch since seven this morning. I hate cooking but I’m good at it, or that’s what people used to tell me. Nowadays I have ready to eat meals delivered or I have a service that delivers the ingredients with the recipe. Trent or Beth usually cooks those.
It’s been months since my father asked me to spy on Trent. I didn’t want to do it, but had no other choice. But blood runs deep in my family and loyalty even more so. They called on me to do what I never thought I would. I’m sure I’ll live to regret it, but this is what I’m supposed to do. I just have to figure out a way to give my father what he wants and not let it destroy my marriage.
Since I was a small girl, my father has always talked about loyalty and the Matthews way. No matter how much we thought someone meant to us, the Matthews’ were the most important. It was necessary to keep the family and its resources strong. Every time he thought I was getting too close to one of my friends, he made me sever the friendship as a reminder of who was most important. I went my entire life without having any best friends. Maybe that’s why I try so hard to be social now. Still, my closest friend happens to be Beth’s mom, and Delia, my college roommate who I’ve been forbidden to talk to since my father found us in a compromising position.
The Matthews have always competed with the Davises. Sure, our grandfathers and fathers were best friends, but there has always been this rivalry underneath that no one dares to speak about. When we were teenagers they formed Davis-Matthews Corp, and Trent and I thought the competition was finally over. Unfortunately, when I overheard my dad talking very sternly to my mother, I realized that it was not the case.
Trent and I wanted nothing to do with it. So we went to college away from our families despite their protests. We had been planning where to run in order to get out from under their umbrella for years. Porter also felt the same way and followed Trent. I’d been in love with Trent since the eighth grade, although I’ve never let him know that. Needless to say, the decision I made to betray Trent didn’t come easily. It has left me heavy hearted. It would be much easier to come out and ask him what’s going on. However, the distance that has grown between us has made it so Trent no longer confides in me.
“Are you almost done in here? My mom should be here any minute.” Trent kisses the nape of my neck, sending chills down my spine. Oh how I’ve missed his touch and sweet gestures. I know it’s been less than twenty-four hours since we’ve had the discussion to give it another go, but Trent is working hard to keep our marriage together. I’m somewhat surprised seeing as he’s seemed to acquire real feelings for Beth. While I know about the two of them, there is no reason for Trent to be aware of I know.
“Yes. I’m just t
rying to time it all so that it’s still warm when she gets here.” I smile and blow him a kiss.
As if on cue, the doorbell rings. I rinse my hands quickly and dry them off, rushing to Trent’s side to greet his mom at the door. It’s important to keep up the image of the perfect married couple even if we aren’t. I should get an Academy Award for my acting.
My mother-in-law and her chauffeur are standing on the porch. He’s escorted her to the door like the devoted employee he is. Brent has been with the family as long as I can remember.
“Welcome, Penny. Come on in.” I kiss both of her rouge colored cheeks. Penelope Davis is the epitome of East Coast women. Her white hair is perfectly in place, her nails neatly manicured, and her silk outfit somehow wrinkle free. Even though I can see Trent's resemblance to his mom, he definitely looks more like Jonathon.
When Penny is safely inside the house, I usher her into the living room where the kids have been waiting. Without their Xbox, they’ve been forced to play a game of Monopoly, and TJ has managed to swindle his younger brothers out of all their properties.
“Trent tells me you’re going on a cruise. How exciting!” I’m a little more animated than usual, but I want Trent to think I’m trying here.
“Yes, dear. Lacy let me know I’m not getting any younger and then she talked Jonathon into allowing me to go. So here I am going on a whirlwind trip around the world.” She smiles. I’ve never been able to tell if it’s forced or genuine.
“Well that sounds fabulous. And what is Jonathon going to be doing with all of his free time?”
“Oh you know…a little of this and a little of that. He loves his work. I’m sure he’ll find a way to stay busy.” Penelope looks down at the boys. “Already chasing the millions like your grandfather, I see. What good little boys you are. Come give your nana a hug.”
The boys reluctantly get up from their game, “Can I get you a drink, Penny? A bloody Mary, mimosa, maybe some water?”
“That’s very kind of you. I’ll just take a little bubbly, dear.” She smiles while politely trying to blow me off. That’s what it feels like. She’d much rather spend the time with TJ, the next heir to the throne.
“Trent, would you care for anything?” I ask. “How about some sparkling water?”
I’m not sure how much scotch Trent drank last night after I left his office, but he woke up with one hell of a headache. My guess is that it was a lot since he was in there until about two in the morning. Perhaps he was drawing up our divorce papers.
“Yes, that would be good. Thank you.” Trent winks at me as I leave the room.
I try not to take too long. I don’t want to miss any of the conversation between Penny and Trent. I need to find out why she is leaving the country, and more importantly where Jonathon is going to be throughout her extended vacation. Jonathon can’t do what he did and expect to get away with it. My father will not allow that.
I pour everyone a drink, including the kids so I won’t have to make a second trip back in here, and return to the living room. There is a hushed discussion going on when I enter. Trent looks up at me and makes his way over to help with the tray.
“Did I walk in on something?” I ask with a smile on my face, a bite in my voice.
Penny produces an insincere smile. “Not at all.”
I hand Penny her drink. “I want to hear all the details about your trip.”
“There’s not much to tell. We are visiting twenty-five countries. I’ll be gone for about four months. I’m just looking for the opportunity to spend some quiet time with my sister. We haven’t done that in ages.”
“Jonathon has no desire to accompany you?”
Penny laughs. “When you’ve been married as long as we have, you find that taking trips without one another isn’t so bad. It will only make me enjoy our reunion that much more.”
I’m starting to get frustrated by the vagueness of Penny’s responses. It’s like she scripted them or something.
“You said he was going to be working, but he’s no longer involved in Davis-Matthews. So what is it he’s going to be working on?”
“Parker, dear, you don’t have to be so brash. If you want information for your father you could just ask. However, with all due respect, I think it’s between me and Jonathan what we plan on doing from here on out. Since I’m feeling especially cheery today, I’ll share a little tidbit of information with you. Jonathan is working on a new partnership. How about you stew on that a little bit?” Penny smiles politely and redirects her attention to the boys.
I don’t think I’ve ever been so embarrassed and pissed off at the same time. She totally called me out and then dismissed me. No one dismisses me. I am Parker Matthews, heir to the family fortune and wife to Trent Davis. Everything about me screams proper upbringing and wealth. Most people beg to get to know me or come to one of my fundraisers. I place my hands on my hips, about ready to give Penny a piece of my mind, when Trent places his hand on my shoulder. I look up at him to find him shaking his head.
“She’s not worth it,” he whispers.
I take a deep breath and realize I’ve just lost my composure. Something I rarely do. Lashing out at Penny won’t bring me any closer to tapping her for information. Something just isn’t right.
“If you’ll excuse me, I need to finish up with brunch.” I pick up the tray and make my way to the kitchen. Trent enters right behind me.
“What was that back there? Why did you have to bring up the business?” Trent doesn’t seem mad, but concerned.
“I don’t know. It just seems weird that your mom is leaving. I want to make sure she’s okay. What if they’re going through a divorce or something horrible is wrong?” I say, trying to play the concerned daughter-in-law.
“Everything is fine. She’s not getting any younger and she’s taking the opportunity to do something she’s never done before. If something was wrong, I’d know about it. She confides in me for just about everything. I’ve never seen my mom happier.” Trent wraps his arms around me. “It’s so sweet that you care that much.”
“They’re just as much my parents as yours. Maybe not by blood, but I’ve known them my entire life. I care about them.”
“I know, and I appreciate that. What do you need help with in here?”
“Take these trays to the dining room.”
Trent leaves the kitchen, and I lean against the counter and down a glass of champagne. It pains me to see how naive he is when it comes to his mother. She can do no wrong in his eyes. There was a time when he adored me that way. No more. I have no one to blame for that but myself. I pushed him away. I pushed him in the arms of another woman.
I sit through brunch quietly and barely eat anything. Penny talks with the kids while Trent looks on adoringly. He is proud of his boys just like any dad would be. This entire situation looks like a Norman Rockwell painting. Unfortunately, I feel like an outsider looking in. When did this happen? When was I no longer the matriarch, the one everyone adored?
When you let your father and brother talk you into this and when you decided to reconnect with Delia.
Penny wipes her mouth with the cloth napkin and scoots her chair back from the table. “Parker, the brunch was lovely. If you don’t mind, I need to have a few minutes alone with my son before I leave. Trent, can we please use your office?”
“No problem.” I try to act as sincere as possible as I stand up to clear the table. The boys get up to help. That’s one thing Trent is adamant about. Our children will grow up normally, with chores and no staff in the house to make our lives easier. So I’m going to be doing an enormous amount of dishes without any help except for maybe from the two older ones. Even then, that’s not much.
These polished hands were not made for dishes.
I so badly want to go and listen to what they’re talking about. My brother tried to get me to install sound in the video surveillance system, but I didn’t want to do anything that might make Trent suspicious. All I can do is sneak into the offic
e later and watch their correspondence.
That’s also how I found out that Trent was, in fact, carrying on with Beth. Yes, I’ve seen their kissing and heavy petting, the way he looks at her with desire dripping from every fiber of his being. I watch as he struggles to do the right thing. Beth is way too much of a temptation for him. I’m a fool for bringing her into this house.
I have to admit, it tore me up the first time I saw it. It was the same night Tyler got sick. The way he kissed her…I was almost sick to my stomach. I was so upset I was shaking and sobbing. It took a few stiff drinks and it was a couple of hours before I could go upstairs and join him in our bedroom. I called my father and Porter the next day and begged for another way. The answer was no.
“Mama, why are you crying?” Tyler pulls on my blouse, bringing me out of my thoughts.
I quickly wipe away the tears I didn’t know I had shed. “Sweetheart, everything is fine. Don’t you worry. I just got a little something in my eye. How about you go back in the other room with your brothers and finish the game?”
Tyler skips across the kitchen ready to resume his play. God, how I love my children. I don’t know if I’m ever going to be able to live with myself for what I’ve done.
Chapter 12
Trent
Another couple of weeks have passed and Parker is back at it with organizing another function. For a few days she was home making dinners every night. It was like old times. We even cuddled up on the couch and kissed like we were teenagers. Unfortunately, neither of us wanted to take it to the next step. The next day she was up and at it again, working on some new project, and I haven’t seen much of her since then. I have seen a lot more of Beth though.
I swear every day she comes over in some outfit that shows off every asset she has. It takes everything I have not to give in to my desires. I promised Parker six months and I’m trying to give that to her even if it seems she’s not trying.