by Holly Rayner
I nodded. “You’re a great friend. Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Do you think Alex will think I did this to trap him? You know, to get his money… I mean, if the baby turns out to be his.”
“Without really knowing him, I just couldn’t say. But I will say that rich people think differently about things than we do, so it’s possible.”
“Maybe I should just tell Jason it’s his and leave Alex out of it.”
“Is that a better option though? Have you even talked to Jason?”
“No, not since the text that day. But, I wouldn’t be asking him for anything… I wouldn’t ask either of them for anything. It would just be less complicated if everyone thought the baby was Jason’s.”
“Probably, but tell me something…”
“What’s that?”
“How strong are your feelings for Alex?”
I thought about trying to lie to her, but it never worked. She knew me too well, so there was no point. “They’re there,” I told her. “And they’re strong.”
“So maybe he feels the same and he’ll be thrilled about the baby.”
“I’m the maid, Liz.”
“So what? You have to stop putting yourself down. You’re an amazing person. You’re beautiful and smart and funny… I count myself very lucky to be your friend.”
“I wish you were the father,” I told her. We laughed and I cried again. Finally, I fell asleep on the couch and when I woke up a few hours later, Liz had covered me up with the afghan and left me a note telling me she’d gone out with some girls from work. She was such a worry-wart that at the bottom of the note it said, “Do Not Hesitate To Call If You Need Me!” She really is a good friend. I got up and went in to do my nightly ritual of face washing and moisturizing etc. The whole time, I kept wondering if I should call Jason and at least feel him out about the baby. Like I said, I wasn’t expecting us to get back together and I wasn’t going to ask him for anything, but I had this silly idea that if I told him, he’d be so happy that he’d want to be a part of it and then I wouldn’t have to think about giving him or her away to strangers. I’d known I was pregnant for less than twenty-four hours and that thought already made my heart ache. That maternal instinct thing is strong.
I went out to the living room and picked up my phone. I quickly rang Jason before I changed my mind. He answered on the first ring. That was a good sign, he wasn’t screening me out.
“Hi Vicki! I was just thinking about you.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I’ve been meaning to call and see how you’re doing with all of this. Work has just kind of been a nightmare. You know how that goes.” More so than he’ll ever know.
“Yeah, how are you otherwise?”
“I’m doing okay otherwise. What about you?”
“I’m hanging in there…”
“You’re not mad at me?”
“I was at first,” I said. “Mostly I was hurt. I would like to believe that I deserved a little more than a text message break-up, you know?”
“It wasn’t a break up. I just thought we both needed some time.”
“Time for what exactly, Jason?”
“Time to decide if us being together for the long run is what we both want. I know too many people who get married and a year or two later they’re divorced. I don’t want to go through that, Vicki and I don’t want you to have to go through that either.”
“So what have you decided?” I asked him. I was stalling. Maybe telling him wasn’t such a good idea after all. He’s such a selfish jerk sometimes; I did have to wonder what kind of father he would make.
“I love you, Vick. I always will. I hope you know that.” He said that so sweetly that in spite of myself it made me feel warm inside. I started to say it back… out of habit if for no other reason, but I didn’t.
Instead I said, “But not enough that you wanted to be with me?”
“It’s not always just about love babe. I don’t know how to explain it. You do everything right. You’re perfect. I just wasn’t happy.”
That was a fair, honest answer. It might hurt, but he can’t help how he feels. “Thank you for explaining it to me, Jason. It helps a little bit. I actually called you for something else and got sidetracked into that.
“So what’s up?” he asked.
“Um, this is weird and hard… I’m pregnant, Jason.” There was a long, awkward silence. I could hear him breathing, but nothing else.
Finally, just as I was about to forget the whole thing and hang up he said, “Oh wow, yeah, that is weird… I um… I thought you were on the pill…”
“I was. I am. Nothing is a hundred percent though and I’ve been really sick in the mornings so I took a test.”
“A test… like from the pharmacy, over the counter, that kind?”
“Yeah, I bought it this morning…”
“Those tests aren’t always accurate I hear. A buddy of mine had a girlfriend who took three one time and they all came back positive. She went to the doctor and she wasn’t pregnant.”
“Oh, yeah? I was planning on making an appointment; I just haven’t had time yet.”
“Okay, so let me know how that goes. Take care, Vicki.” I was left staring at the phone. Was he serious? “Let me know how it goes.” I put the phone down and lay back down on my bed staring at the ceiling. Maybe it was what I deserved. After all, I wasn’t even sure the baby was his. Ass or not, Jason was right. Before I made any big decisions, I should go to the doctor. I will call first thing in the morning to make an appointment.
***
The next morning I awoke to the thought that this was a new day and I was going to face it as such. When I had my break I would call and schedule an appointment with my gynecologist. Until then, I was going to try and keep a positive outlook. Maybe I wasn’t really pregnant, and maybe if I was, things wouldn’t turn out quite as badly as I pictured them. I’m more capable than I give myself credit for, considering all I’d already gone through in my life. If it comes down to it and I had to deal with this all on my own, I can do that.
I was sick again, but with the idea in mind that it was probably morning sickness, I pushed on and finished getting ready for work. I passed on my morning coffee, knowing I’d probably have a headache later, but I wanted the nausea to be long gone before I got to work. I took a package of saltines and munched on them on my way. When I got to the gates of the mansion, my whole world blew apart.
Normally there was one guard at the gate that greeted people and buzzed the main house if need be. Today there were three very large gentlemen. None of them were the friendly Gus who gave me a donut three times a week, or Haskell who liked to tell me jokes and the latest baseball scores. I didn’t recognize these guys, and none of them looked like they had a sense of humor. I pulled up and stopped and the biggest of the three motioned at me to roll down my window. I did, and as he approached me, I felt a wave of nausea just from the intensity of his glare.
“I.D.” he said, abruptly. I took out my I.D. and handed it to him. He looked hard at it and motioned the other two guys over. They both glared at me and it. What was going on? Finally, he handed it back to me and said, “Miss Hart you are no longer employed by Mr. Reigns. You aren’t to report here again or go near any of Mr. Reigns' properties. If you have any personal property inside the mansion, it will be sent to your last known address. Do not contact Mr. Reigns by phone or electronically, nor by mail of any kind. If you have anything you would like to say to him, you can say it through his attorneys who will be contacting you.”
“I don’t understand. What do you mean that I’m no longer employed? I’m fired? He fired me and hired some ape to tell me that?” I was livid and I wasn’t thinking that here I was addressing said ape in this fashion. I wanted to jump out of the car and run up to that stupid giant house and pound on the door. I wanted to demand that at least one man in my life should have the balls to tell me something to my face
for a change! I was so sick of men turning their backs on me. First my father, then Jason and now Alex. Did I have a stamp on my forehead that said, “Please don’t waste your time treating me decently, I’m not worth it!?”
“Yes Miss, you’re fired. Your final paycheck will be mailed to your last known address.”
“Stop saying that! Why are you saying ‘Your last known address?’ It is my address. I’m not a terrorist for crying out loud.”
“You need to go now Miss or you’ll be escorted back to the main road.”
“Escorted? You would be very sorry if you put your hands on me in any way!”
“I won’t,” he said, still stone faced. “But the police are standing by.”
The police? What did they think I did? Was something missing? Do they think I stole something? Oh God, I’m going to be sick! I put the car into reverse and nearly drove right over big and ugly’s foot before he jumped back out of the way. I went backwards all the way to the main road and then when I got there, I had to put it in park, get out and vomit on the side of the road. As I was standing there, heaving my guts out, I caught sight of them watching me. Dear God, what was going on? Losing my job was one thing, but being considered some kind of criminal was entirely another. I wiped my mouth on the sleeve of my ugly uniform. It didn’t matter; I wasn’t going to need it any longer apparently. Before I got back in the car, I threw a gesture at big and ugly at the gate. His expression still didn’t change, but it made me feel a little better nonetheless.
CHAPTER EIGHT
ALEXANDER
I stood in my bedroom and watched what was going on down at the gates on the security monitors. I could see the stricken look on Vicki’s face and God help me all I wanted to do was call down there and tell her there had been a terrible mistake and they should let her through. I didn’t though. Like a coward, I watched a stranger tell her that she was not only fired, but banned from the estate. Then I watched her drive backwards… and somewhat recklessly back to the main road. I took out a pair of binoculars that I used for horse racing and went over to the window. She stopped at the road and got out of the car. She barely made it to the front of the car before she started throwing up. I felt like a weight was sitting on my chest all of a sudden and I could hardly breathe. I did pick up the phone then and I called down to the gates.
“Yes sir?”
“Michael, she’s sick. Go help her.”
“She just flipped me off and got back into the car, sir.”
I laughed. “She flipped you off?”
“Yes sir.”
I laughed again. “Sorry about that.”
“I’ve been flipped off before sir.” I’ll bet that he had. Michael was my most humorless, almost robotic employee. The attorneys had purposely handpicked him for this sort of thing.
“Okay then. Thanks.” I hung up and stood looking around the massive suite I now stood in, alone. I was always alone. I went into the bathroom and looked at that stick that was now wrapped in a Ziploc baggie. The lawyers wanted it, but I told them I’d thrown it away. Anyone who knew that I’d kept it might think I was being ridiculous. The fact was that when I’d first discovered it, I was thrilled. I’ve always wanted a family… a big one. Cassandra told me that she did too at first. Two years into our marriage I discovered she was using birth control. We had a big fight and she told me that she wasn’t going to ruin her “perfect” body having a bunch of brats. Her “perfect” body was “perfect” because I bought and paid for it. She’d asked me when she was twenty-five, a year after we were married, if she could get her breasts enlarged. I didn’t see any harm in it and I said yes to make her happy. She got addicted after that and I lost count of the procedures she’d had. After a while it was like touching a Barbie doll… she was plastic.
I thought about the day Vicki and I made love in the basement. She was so warm and so real and I just couldn’t get enough of her. I had to force myself to get out of bed at five a.m. that morning and go for a run to keep from attacking her again. Just the smell of her hair was intoxicating. When I got back, she was gone. I’d been disappointed and hurt that she hadn’t at the very least left me a note, or anything. When she came in on Monday and I looked into those gorgeous green eyes, I saw anxiety there, laced with the same warmth as before. I realized she was probably embarrassed, although God knew there was no reason for her to be. That day was the first day in a very long time that I’d felt needed and loved. I wanted it to last forever. I had decided that it wasn’t fair to start something with her while the divorce was still hanging over my head but I intended to, as soon as Cassandra was finally out of my life.
Then yesterday, I walked into my bathroom with the intentions of getting a warm rag to put on my forehead to try and stave off the horrible migraine that was setting in. What I found was a pregnancy test… a positive one. I held the little baggie up to the mirror now and looked at the plus sign. I wondered what was going through her mind when she saw it.
I’d panicked when I first found it. I started to call Vicki, knowing it had to be hers. The only other staff on at the time was Karen who is fifty-five, Gregory and Manny. I actually had the phone in my hand and I was primed to push her number when thoughts of Cassandra crept back into my head. The day she’d left me, I’d gone to the hotel where she was staying to confront her. When she opened the door to her suite she’d said, “I’m not coming back, Alexander. I hate it there. I hate that house and I hate you.”
Although I think I’d fallen out of love with her years ago, her words still felt like someone was stabbing me in the chest with a knife. “I bought that house for you, Cassandra. You let me buy it with the idea in my head that we would have children to fill it soon.”
“I never put that idea in your head. That was all you. We should have a modern house in the hills where we can throw fabulous parties. Instead we live in a stuffy old house that looks almost identical to the stuffy old house your parents live in. I’ve tried to bring life back into it, but there’s no point. It’s like living in a museum.”
“If you would have told me that, I would have sold it for you. But you’re also saying you hate me. Why? What did I do?”
“Nothing, Alexander. That’s the problem; you do nothing any more except go to work.”
“One of us has to,” I’d told her.
“You have more money than God. Give it a rest and take me on vacation. Have a party. Go to a club. Hell, have an affair! Anything to put some life back into you. You’re a thirty year old man and you act like you’re fifty.”
She had a lot more to say that day and I listened. When I left, I called up a few friends that I hadn’t seen in a while and that night I had my first party in the basement. The next morning when I woke up next to some model that was as plastic as Cassandra, I realized that I wasn’t any happier, but maybe at least people wouldn’t think I was old and stuffy. So, I kept up with the parties and the women. I thought maybe one of them would turn out to be different and I could finally meet someone who would love me for me and not the fact that I had billions of dollars in the bank. That didn’t happen either. They were all more than willing to do whatever I wanted them to do and they all had one end goal in mind; bag the billionaire. I was cautious and made sure I used protection when I had sex with them. I let them get drunker than me and then after we’d had wild sex, I poured them into a car and had them taken home. I never let them see my house beyond the basement and I never shared anything personal with them. Then I found Vicki crying in my hallway that day and my mindset totally changed.
I was pissed off at Cassandra that day and when I first saw her I thought, “Oh great, another needy woman.” I almost left her there and walked on by. But when her eyes met mine and I saw the genuine pain in them… the first genuine feelings I think I’d seen from any woman in such a long time, I couldn’t resist. I thought I’d take her downstairs and we’d have a drink or two and I could get my mind off of Cassandra and her nonsense. Once we were down there and we sta
rted talking, I was hooked. I had always thought she was beautiful, but I wasn’t going to cheat on my wife and I wasn’t going to come on to the staff. But that day it was different. Cheating on my wife was removed from the equation and suddenly Vicki was more to me than just “staff.” She was a vibrant, emotional, intelligent, funny, gorgeous woman and I would have had to be dead to not be affected by her. That day and night were the best of my life so far and every time I think about it now, I still get a warm feeling that floods my entire system. I still want her and every time I’ve seen her since, I’ve ached for her.
When I told my attorney about the pregnancy test and he asked me how the “affair” happened… I told him it was all me. I came on to her. I saw the surprise on her face that day. I saw that she wanted me too, but she was scared. I was the aggressor. I took advantage of her and if she had sued me for sexual harassment, I wouldn’t have been surprised. But she didn’t and she didn’t say another word about it. She was willing to leave it be and let me make the next move if there were to be one. I told him all of that, and his conclusion for her leaving the test for me to find it was “blackmail.” He said she was blackmailing me and she wanted me to offer her money to give up the baby… he’d actually said, “abort.” That word made me sick and I told him not to use it again. If she consented to “give up” the baby, it would be only to me. I would make sure of that.