by Alice Kirks
“Arabella,” he said. He was so angry with himself! He had wanted to give her a life where she could be fearless, and all he’d ended up doing was making her afraid of him.
“Brother?”
“I’m sorry,” he said. He didn’t know what to say, here in her white room with its flocked wallpaper and satin bed-throw and bows on the seats. He decided to say what was in his heart, and, when he got started, it became easier. “I was wrong to be so angry.”
“Brother!” Arabella looked up at him. Her tear-stained eyes were bright. “You mean, you’re not cross with me anymore?”
Matthew grinned. “I can’t say I wasn’t cross with you. And yes, you shouldn’t have done that. I think you understand, now, how bad that could have been for your reputation. But I was too harsh. I should not have threatened to send you away. It was wicked of me. I promise I will never threaten you.”
“Matthew!” Arabella ran to him and, before he knew what was happening, he found himself wrapped in a firm, lavender-and-flower-scented hug.
He laughed, wrapping his arms around Arabella like he had her whole life, when she was just six and he was fifteen and he was the only thing that could make her world better. Now, she was sixteen and he twenty-six, and he knew that it wasn’t his job to make everything right; simply to hold her when it wasn’t.
“Shh,” he soothed. “There, now. It’s all right. Now, let’s go for a walk, shall we?”
“Can we?” Arabella asked. “Brother…have you…”
“Alexandra is here,” he said, taking a guess at what she was going to ask. “I asked her to come back. I should not have dismissed her. There, I was wrong.”
“Brother!” Arabella clapped her hands, delightedly. “I’m so happy! Thank you so much! Oh, you’re wonderful.”
Matthew smiled. It was a little upsetting, he thought, that the only thing he seemed to need to do to be deemed wonderful was to avoid being utterly unfair. He made a note to himself not to judge anything before he had heard and considered both sides of the story.
“Come on,” he said gently. “Let’s go downstairs. Maybe we can find some tea.”
“Or breakfast!” Arabella said instantly. “I’m starving!”
Matthew smiled.
“Yes,” he agreed. He was delighted to see her appetite back. “Let’s go and eat.”
They went down to the breakfast-room, where Mr. Denning had fortunately not yet cleaned up. Arabella sat down opposite him and started telling him about the letter she had from Amelia. She seemed subdued, still, but her natural brightness was much more apparent than it had been, and he felt that, with time, she would start to recover.
“Shall we go and see Alexandra now?” he asked.
“Yes!” Arabella instantly agreed. “I can’t wait to see her. I was so sad. I thought she wasn’t here anymore, and I was so sad and angry because I thought you’d fired her yesterday.”
Matthew nodded. “Well, she is, and I will never even think of dismissing her again.”
“Really?”
Matthew nodded again.
“She’s over there,” he said, gesturing to the schoolroom. “Shall we go?”
Arabella ran ahead, and Matthew walked slowly. He was in time to see her wrapping her arms around Alexandra and giving her a hug.
“Alexandra!” she said. “Oh, I’m so glad you’re here! I was so sad. I wanted to speak to you.”
Matthew could hear that she was crying, and he tiptoed away. It was best, he thought, to let Arabella speak to her confidante. He could always speak to Alexandra later.
He went upstairs and into his bedroom. He sat down on the bed. He was amazed by how much better he felt. Getting rid of Alexandra had been terrible. Knowing she was here – that made him feel wonderful. He smiled and felt his body relax in a way it had not done since yesterday.
I really do feel a great deal for her.
He sat up. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. It was foolish of him, he suspected. After all, no matter how wonderful she was, she was still far and away out of his station. He could not allow matters to progress.
If that was what she wanted, or not.
Chapter 15
Alexandra looked out of the window. It was a sunny day, though the air had that crisp coldness that came with late autumn and she shivered, drawing a shawl around her shoulders. Nonetheless, it was a good day for a walk.
“Alexandra!” Arabella said, as she came into the schoolroom that morning. “Oh! Isn’t it a fine day? And you’ll never guess what? Brother said that I have been invited to a party this afternoon. A proper tea! I’m so excited! Of course, you’ll come with me?”
“Yes,” Alexandra said at once. “Of course, I shall.”
“Brother said it’s my first tea where he won’t attend with me. I’m so excited! I want to wear my new pink dress. It’ll be strange, because it’ll end when it’s dark, but I think we shall have such fun, just going together.”
“I think so,” Alexandra said. She was surprised that she felt a little nervous. Not only because Lord Blakeley wouldn’t be there, making this the first party she’d attend as a chaperone, but also because every time she met with people, she risked seeing someone who would recognize her.
“Oh, it’s going to be a lovely day,” Arabella said, looking out of the big window behind Alexandra, that faced the lawns. “I can’t wait to get there and into the fresh air!”
“Yes,” Alexandra agreed.
She tried to look excited too, but she found it hard to hide her nervousness. Arabella was too involved in discussing her dress and how lovely it would be to go for a long walk to really pay heed.
“I wonder if we can relate this to the poetry of Byron – it seems to fit,” Alexandra said, gently trying to bring the conversation back to their session in the schoolroom that day. It worked, and Arabella instantly reached for the books, exclaiming excitedly.
“I think so! There’s a bit where he talks about walking in nature.”
Alexandra opened a book and they set about discussing the poem.
When the lesson was finished, Arabella went upstairs to sew. Alexandra promised to join her and check her progress, but first she went down to the kitchens for some tea. Maddy was there, and she shared tea with her.
“My! His lordship has been poorly.”
“Is he sick?” Alexandra instantly felt her heart thud with shock. She had not noticed he seemed ill, and the magnitude of her care for him surprised her! She hoped it was not something that was bad.
“No, no…not really. He just seems out of sorts,” Maddy explained. “His manservant, my Alf, said he was very moody and taciturn, and that’s not how he usually is. I don’t know if he’s ill or not, mind.”
“I see,” Alexandra said. She felt worried. It wasn’t like him to be like that – even in the time she’d known him.
“Are you going to go to the fair?” Maddy asked, and Alexandra quickly shook her head.
“No. Thank you, Maddy, but I’d rather stay here. I’m feeling tired today.”
“As you like,” Maddy agreed, shrugging.
Alexandra finished her tea and went upstairs. She wished she could go to the fair, but she needed to be back in time to escort Arabella to tea, and besides, she could not risk going out of doors. If someone from the village saw her, it was possible they would carry the word back to someone who knew her father.
She walked over to the window. The Duke was in the garden, walking with Arabella. She watched them walking down the path and felt her heart lift. It was a scene that touched her. He had become much closer to his sister now that they had started talking. She was glad that, slowly, his protectiveness was turning into mutual affection.
At least I don’t need to worry about them.
She let out a sigh. She felt pleased with the work she had accomplished, bringing the two closer together.
Yet, at the thought that she might not be able to stay here, she was appalled.
No matter whether Fathe
r has men looking through the village and hunting me down, I will not leave here.
She took a deep breath. She didn’t know why she was thinking like that – there was no reason to fear the Duke was still angry with her. He’d actually apologized, which was unheard of.
“Stop thinking so much.” She told her reflection firmly. “Go downstairs and find another person to talk to.”
She shouldn’t stay up here alone to dwell on her worries.
Ever since seeing the man in the village, she had been frightened of going anywhere.
“So,” Brenna said, as she walked up to Alexandra in the hallway. “It seems our young charge is better.”
“I think so,” Alexandra said. She was sure Arabella was hiding some of her sorrow – it seemed unlikely she was entirely better, though she was glad to see all was well.
“She’ll be going out this afternoon,” Brenna said, nodding. “I should go and fetch her dress down from the wardrobe. It needs airing.”
“Of course,” Alexandra nodded.
She went for a walk in the garden, and found her mind returning to the Duke. She was worried about his mood.
You’re being silly, she chided herself. He’s just relieved because Arabella is back.
All the same, it seemed as if something else must be bothering him, or why was he being so odd?
At half an hour to four, she went to dress for tea. This time, she wore her uniform. A long black dress, with a high collar and long cuffs. She was not – absolutely not – going to draw people’s eye.
“Alexandra!” Arabella objected. “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” Alexandra said. “I truly am.”
They went down to the coach.
Arabella commented about the scenery, though Alexandra thought she seemed a little distracted too. She wondered why.
“I wish Matthew could be here,” Arabella confided as they went down the road. “I am nervous, socializing without him.”
“You’ll be fine,” Alexandra promised.
“I’m glad,” Arabella said, squeezing her hand, “that you’re with me. I am so happy you’re here, truly I am.”
“I am, too,” Alexandra said.
They arrived at the manor after a long coach-ride. It was five o’ clock, or thereabouts, Alexandra assumed, when they arrived. The evening was already cooler, and she was pleased her sleeves were long. Arabella had a cloak, and she drew it tight around herself, looking up at Alexandra.
“It’s so cold.”
“Yes,” she agreed. “I’ll be glad to get inside.”
The hostess – an older woman, with hair arranged in an elegant up-style and a dark-colored dress – greeted them.
“Good evening, Lady Arabella! Delighted you could attend. You will like our guests, I think. Come in, come in. Good evening,” she greeted Alexandra, though her interaction was much cooler.
“Good evening,” Alexandra replied, curtseying low. She looked around the room, feeling nervous.
It was a wide room, decorated with columns and beautiful tiles, everything pleasing colors and with a molded ceiling, painted here and there with gold, floating overhead. It was magnificent.
“Oh! Amelia!” Arabella gushed. “I didn’t know you’d be here.”
Alexandra smiled, standing back as Arabella found her friends in the small crowd. It was quite populated, the hall, and the number of people made the air warm. She was less pleased for her long sleeves, now. She stood back against the wall and watched the people talking to each other.
“Ladies and gentlemen?” the older woman who had welcomed them called genially, as everybody turned to look. “Shall we go outdoors? I would like you all to see my beautiful garden, and the light will not last for long. Tea will be laid out while we are out.”
Alexandra nodded. She went to join Arabella, and the two of them walked down the steps together.
“Oh!” Arabella exclaimed. “How lovely!”
“It is,” Alexandra murmured.
In the garden, tall trees stood gracefully, their leaves either washed with the rich colors of autumn, or determinedly green. The sky was turning gray, the horizon touched with the fire of evening. Arabella walked quickly down the path, and Alexandra followed, looking at the beautiful, stylish flowerbeds, filled with bushes and flowers.
“How beautiful,” she said.
She and Arabella stopped and turned, admiring the fine grounds. Amelia was with them, and they all stood breathlessly, amazed by the sweet greenness of the place. The lawns were lush, and the scent of grass was strong in the cool air. It was a beautiful evening.
“May I fetch you a glass of something?” a man said, appearing near them. Alexandra jumped.
“Oh! No thank you,” Amelia said, recovering first. Alexandra noticed the man was wearing a suit, and guessed he was a footman of some sort, sent out to cater to the guests. She had been startled by him.
“He gave me a fright!” she confided in Arabella, who also looked startled, it seemed.
“Yes! There are so many servants here at the manor, it does tend to be that they startle one.”
Yes. Especially when you are expecting to be apprehended.
She let out a sigh.
They walked around the grounds, and Alexandra was amused to see Arabella and Amelia drawing the eye of many of the gentlemen as they walked down the path. They were lovely young ladies, she thought. She was glad she was here, though, to ensure their safety.
As she walked back to the table, she caught sight of the servants. The man who had startled them was there, and there were two or three others, also serving drinks to the guests. She saw a few more coming down the path, bringing out a stool for somebody, and a basket and a tray. The man with the basket stopped at the trestle-table, the man with the tray beside him.
No. Alexandra froze instantly.
The man was looking at her, and she recognized him.
“Alexandra,” Arabella said, looking up at her. “Is anything the matter?”
“No!” Alexandra said, then noticed how tense she was. “No…not at all. I’m quite well. Shall we go in?”
“We only came out now,” Arabella commented.
“Well, I would like to go in for a moment…I’m very cold.”
“You can borrow a shawl,” Arabella said instantly, walking behind her as Alexandra hurried away across the lawn. “I’m sure that someone here will lend you one.”
“No, thank you,” Alexandra said, realizing that she was confusing Arabella and that, in all possibility, she was making a fuss about nothing. Maybe the man hadn’t even seen her. And if he had, maybe he didn’t recognize her. She tried to recall when last she’d seen him.
Father would not have sent him here.
The man was a footman at the estate! How likely was it that he would recognize her now, or even bother to report her being here to her father?
“Alexandra…if you’re feeling poorly, we can leave,” Arabella said quickly. “Matthew would understand if we didn’t stay long…”