by Alice Kirks
“Alexandra…” he said.
Just then, she screamed.
“Alexandra!” He grabbed her arm and drew her towards him, just as a horseman rode out of the bush and shot on ahead. He was, Matthew guessed, part of a group who was looking for fresh quarry.
“Sorry,” she said. She started crying. She covered her face with her hands, and he waited for her, standing back a little, giving her space to cry and to become calm again. “I was so…” She was sobbing, and he waited, trying to help her calm down.
“Hush,” he said softly, wanting to take her hand or kiss her pale cheek. “All is well.”
He waited until, sniffing, she looked up at him.
“Sorry,” she sobbed. “I thought, when I saw that rider in the bushes, that he…that he…well, I thought he was a robber.”
Matthew nodded. “He could have been. Silly fellow, to ride out of there like that! He should have known people would think he was a highwayman. He’ll be lucky if nobody starts taking shots at him.” He chuckled, though he knew that she was not in a mood to find anything amusing.
“Yes,” she sniffed. “That’s right.”
Matthew smiled. He wondered why she had reacted so strongly; why she was so afraid at the barest hint of someone hiding in the forest that she screamed. Yes, there had been some nasty attacks on the road outside London, but here, an hour away by coach, they were much safer, and he hadn’t heard any tales of anyone being robbed near them.
“Next time, I’ll take a pistol,” he promised.
“No need,” Alexandra said, and smiled up at him, though her face was red with crying. “Or, if you do, please make sure it is a robber before you start aiming at him.” She chuckled, softly.
They both laughed. Matthew was pleased to see her regain her sense of fun. It was so unlike her, he thought, to be so afraid. In the last few days, she had been quieter and more withdrawnand he chided himself for not having noticed that about her.
I have been so aware of my own feelings, my own longing for her, that I haven’t paid anything else any heed at all.
He wondered what had bothered her.
“Shall we go back?” Alexandra asked.
“Of course,” he nodded gently. “Let’s go. It isn’t too far now. And the faster we get back, the sooner we can eat some lunch.”
She laughed and they walked next to each other, back to the house. It occurred to her that he might mean her to dine with him, but the idea was instantly dismissed from her mind. Absolutely certainly, he would not do that.
“Shall I set out the luncheon, your Grace?” Mr. Denning asked, bowing as Matthew and Alexandra came past. He frowned.
“Should we eat now?” he asked Alexandra, who blushed.
“Your Grace, I…” she trailed off. He had!
“I would be glad for you to come and dine with me,” he said. He saw how troubled she looked and dismissed the butler with a wave of his hand.
“Your Grace, the servants already have no love for me,” she said, when the butler had gone. “If I dine with you, alone, then…” she trailed off.
“Then they will be jealous, but they will also know that I care about your wellbeing, and that if they cross you, I will know of it.” He felt his own face stiffen into a grim look.
She didn’t smile, but he saw her eyes light up and he found it hard to hide his own joy. He was pleased to offer her some protection against the servants, and more pleased that she would join him for dinner. It occurred to him that he’d never considered how she must be ostracized and mistreated.
Many of them must hate her. She is so educated, and some of them will resent that.
He made a mental note to try and find out from her who had been kind, and who not. Even if he could do nothing about it, he would like to know.
The dark thoughts instantly disappeared when she grinned.
“What’s so amusing?”
She chuckled. “I’m sorry…I couldn’t help thinking about how frightened that rider must have got when I screamed! I wish I’d seen his face.”
They both laughed, and Matthew took her arm and helped her back onto the path. He felt his body shiver with her closeness. It was only when they were halfway back to the manor that he realized how natural it had become for him to touch her. He smiled to himself and glanced over at her, feeling a warmth in his heart. He also made a private note to himself to ask her more about her childhood, and to try and uncover just why it was that had made her so frightened.
Chapter 20
“I’ll go upstairs for a moment…if you’ll excuse me,” Alexandra called down to the Duke.
“Of course,” he said. “As you wish. I will go through to the dining-room.”
Alexandra ran upstairs and struggled to untie the strings of her bonnet, racing to the chamber on the top floor of the building.
“I don’t believe it!”
She was going to have lunch alone with the one man she would wish above anything to have lunch alone with. She ran to her bedchamber and hastily checked her reflection in the mirror, heart pounding. She was excited. She was a little nervous.
She was happy.
“If you will sit here?” the Duke asked, gesturing her to a chair. Alexandra went tense. He was standing. She knew she should sit, even though it felt wrong.
“Thank you, yes I shall.” Her voice was tight, her every nerve tense, though she was also joyful inside.
She sat down in the place he’d offered, and he sat down opposite her. He grinned at her across the table.
“It’s rather nice. I’m not too sorry Arabella decided to stay in the village. Though, of course, I will miss her company too.” He demurred, smiling at her.
“I, too,” Alexandra said, looking up at him with a small grin. “Though, of course, I am pleased as well.”
She went red. Had she really said that? He looked at her with a grin, clearly not hiding how much he was enjoying this.
“Ah. Here’s the soup,” he said. She was blushing, and she was glad for the distraction as the butler came to ladle out dishes of soup for them. She watched the Duke across the table, feeling shy and lightheaded.
This can’t be true, she thought.
Here she was, sitting in the dining-room, alone with Lord Blakeley as the butler quietly moved about the room, fetching things for them off the trolley. Alexandra looked up to find the Duke’s eye on her.
“What is it that occupies you so?” he asked. “I mean, in your thoughts.”
Alexandra blushed.
“Nothing,” she said quickly. “I mean to say…nothing particularly meritorious, your Grace.”
He grinned. His dark eyes were sharp, and they seemed to miss nothing.
“I don’t believe you,” he said. “You smiled, as if some thought appealed to you. Of course, you may tell me or not, as you wish, however.”
Alexandra looked at the table, heart thumping. The butler had left, and she was sitting quite alone opposite the Duke. She tried to think of what to say. She raised her eyes to his, back tense.
“I…would prefer to keep my thoughts a secret, your Grace.”
“As you wish.”
He raised a brow and smiled, and she smiled too. “Could you pass me the salt, your Grace?”
He was still grinning as he passed it to her. She felt her skin flush as she saw the look he gave her. It was admiring and left little for her to guess at.
“Um,” he said, clearing his throat. “You are going to accompany my sister to tea tomorrow, yes?”
“I believe so,” Alexandra agreed. Her voice was tight too, and she lifted a glass to take a sip of something to drink. Rich and sweet, the cordial soothed her throat. “She told me about the party today.”
“Good. And I will come and fetch you both in the coach. I have business in the village in any case, so it will be easy to come and fetch you.”
“Oh. That will be nice,” she said. She found herself looking at him. He was looking at her, and suddenly the distance of the tabl
e between them felt too wide. She imagined what it would be like to be in the coach, where there was barely the width of a palm between them. She was acutely aware of his nearness.
“I…” he coughed. “Forgive me, Alexandra.”
“Have I something to forgive you for?” she asked, heart thumping.
“I was staring. I apologize. I…must seem strange, I think.”
“Strange?” she coughed again. Why could she barely get a word out? She, who never felt the lack of aught to say! It was odd.
“Yes,” he said.
At that moment, the butler came in. Alexandra, who had not had much time to eat her soup, hastily took a few more helpings as the butler started to cut up the next dish to serve it. She could smell a delicious savory smell. The Duke nodded.
“If you have finished with your soup, Miss, the butler will bring your next course.”
“Of course,” Alexandra nodded. She blushed, wondering if he considered her to be unused to dining in such circumstances. “Thank you, yes. I’d like the next course if you please.”
The butler took her soup away and replaced it with a plate, but Alexandra wasn’t watching him. She was looking across at the Duke. He was, in turn, watching her. When the butler had gone, pushing the trolley away, he turned to her.
“You have remarkable posture,” he said.
Alexandra blushed. It was the first time he’d ever actually complimented her directly. She had caught glances from him that suggested he admired her, but he’d never said anything like that, and she felt her heart thump swiftly.
“Thank you, your Grace. Since you are also very upright, it is high praise.” She giggled. She was trying for a flippant tone, but really his compliment meant the world to her.
She looked at her plate, but he was already speaking again, and she looked up.
“I think I have not half the proud bearing you do,” he said with one brow raised. “Which is rather lacking, in a duke.”
“I find you in no way lacking.”
They looked at each other. It was the first time she’d complimented him, too. He went very stiff. She held her breath. Had she gone too far this time?
“I assure you,” he murmured, looking down at the table. “I am a man with many lacks.”
Alexandra felt her heart melt. She would never have thought of him as less than confident. Finding that he sometimes doubted himself made her feel even closer to him. She cleared her throat.
“I think it is sometimes those lacks we see in ourselves that others see as our nicest attributes.”
He raised a brow and grinned. “I’ll remember that. Next time you reprimand me for being too picky, or too quick to step into danger.”
She laughed. They shared a smile. It made her heart race. All they had done was exchange words, and yet those words were such that there might as well be no distance between them, and no household of listening servants just outside the door.
He looked down at his plate and she did too. They ate and when he’d finished, he lifted his glass. They were both drinking cordial.
“That was…very heartening,” he said to her.
She went red. She, too, had enjoyed every second.
“Thank you, your Grace,” she said. “I enjoyed it.”
He stood and she stood too, but his eyes held hers for a long moment and she felt as if he’d touched her, the way his gaze reached deep into her mind. Then he turned away and walked to the door.
“Thank you, Miss Alexandra,” he said. It was a mumble, and Alexandra barely heard it. She walked behind him out of the door and murmured her thanks as she crossed the hallway.
“I expect to see you tomorrow morning with Arabella, to go for tea,” he said.
Alexandra nodded. He was lingering at the foot of the stairs and she wondered if he, like her, wanted to stay and talk more. But then he was turning away to go up the stairs, and someone was coming in to answer the door and Lord Albert was there. Alexandra nodded to him and turned away and went hastily down to the servants’ stairs, feeling her heart thud.
He truly regarded her well.
As well as she did.
She was still smiling, but she was also utterly confused. It couldn’t really have happened. But it had. One thing she knew was that, no matter what happened now, she would always be glad of it.
Chapter 21
Matthew went upstairs to his bedchamber. He needed time to think. It was a few hours since his luncheon with Alexandra, but he couldn’t stop thinking about it. His head was full of images and thoughts and he felt tired and confused. He also felt a slow ache of indescribable longing.
“I wish I had some idea of what to do about it.”
He whispered it to himself as he sat down on the bed. What could he do? He recalled how her lips, damp from cordial, had been so kissable, how she ate so neatly, and the coil of long dark hair that rested on the pale skin of her neck.
He could wish that he could kiss that neck and brush a trail of kisses where that hair touched it! Her skin must be like scented silk.
He opened his eyes again, trying to distract himself from the images that raced through his mind. What could he do? He wanted to march upstairs to her bedroom and kiss her and tell her how he felt. He felt the truth of his affection and longing rebel against his silence.
But she would not wish for anything outside decency.
He felt his mouth twist in a grimace. He would not wish to coerce her. He wanted her to feel ready to receive his love as an equal. He had, he thought with some surprise, never thought about her as anything else.
“And what about it?” he asked himself aloud.
Why should he not discuss this with her father? He might be a man of an entirely different class to himself, but he was certainly a reasonable man.
He made up his mind. He would go to his London home, where the interview had been conducted, and try to find out everything he could about Alexandra. He frowned, wondering why he was reluctant to ask her himself.
“She never talks about it, even when I try to persuade her.”
Maybe she felt ashamed to discuss her humble origins. She had, after all, made a great deal of herself, so much that he barely thought about her as coming from any other background than him.
“I’ll ride tomorrow and see what I can uncover.”
He was determined to meet her father.
“Brother?” Arabella called at the door. “Sorry to disturb…are you awake?”
“No,” he called back.
They laughed. Arabella giggled as she called her next response. “Since you’re awake in there, might you come out a moment? I wanted to ask you something. And you promised we could play a game of whist.”
“I did, didn’t I?”
He opened the door and Arabella looked up at him, green eyes sparkling. He grinned at her. She was so much more herself now. He felt grateful to Alexandra for being there. It would have been difficult to return from his reaction to her flight to the baron’s if she hadn’t been there to help him understand his sister.