by Cece Monét
Actually, they were engaged to be married in a few months. Somehow as Angela glanced down at the platinum encased diamond on her ring finger she didn’t feel overjoyed the way she thought a soon-to-be bride should feel. She felt empty and knew she was trying to overcompensate by marrying this man to fill the void of incompleteness she felt vividly every day. An ache that had began the first day Cheng didn’t call when he said he would.
Angela sighed and stopped procrastinating. She was only a year into her new job and every day that she worked for the American branch of the Chinese company that employed her, she was reminded that she was still in the fledging/paying her dues mode. As it was, she would just barely get to work on time today. Normally, she liked to be at least thirty to forty-five minutes early.
Yet, for some reason, thoughts of Cheng had been plaguing her throughout the last few days, now more so than they had in a while. Angela had thought about him most of the weekend, even as she’d tried to sleep and still this Monday morning as she drove into work in Downtown San Francisco from her Oakland home. Maybe it was because it was almost five years to the day since she’d last seen him. She shook her head as she sat in bumper to bumper traffic on the East Bridge.
Angela didn’t have time to get distracted like this. She was a professional and needed to get back into her work mode for this week. At five minutes to nine o’clock in the morning, and 9:00 am was her official start time, she was sliding into her seat in her work cubicle. Even after a year here, she still had a hard time getting used to working in a cube. She’d had an office at her last job and at the Director level, had expected one for here too.
“Angela, your new boss, the Senior Vice President of Operations, just arrived this morning from Shanghai. You will need to go and greet him and start finding out ways in which he’d like the two of you to work together. He’s already been here for about half an hour and is waiting for you. I know you don’t have to start until nine, but you’re usually here early so he arrived early too in order to go ahead and get started today. Please go on into his office now. It’s the one Wu Lü Ma used to occupy,” Mylan, the office’s Receptionist and Administrative Assistant said hurriedly.
“Thank you,” Angela said in acknowledgement as she quickly stood, and then grabbed her work iPad, before heading down the hall.
When she arrived, the door was closed. So Angela knocked, announcing her presence and desire for entry. “Come in,” she heard a male voice muffled by the door call out to her. Angela took a deep breath. She couldn’t believe she’d forgotten Mr. Liu, her new boss, was starting today. Of all the days she had to pick to space out about Cheng… shit! She had to get that man out of her mind so she could get two neurons to fire correctly and maybe, just maybe, she could actually concentrate today.
Angela opened the door after what felt like an eternity, since she’d tried to clear her mind first. When she finally entered, the huge, black, leather executive chair her new boss was sitting in was faced away from her and the door she’d just entered through. He appeared to be rummaging through some boxes, unpacking. Apparently trying to clear her mind of Cheng hadn’t been completely successful, so without thinking or even asking because she was still so distracted, Angela closed the door behind her.
At which point, her equally distracted supervisor finally seemed to remember she was there and turned towards her. Angela dropped her iPad when she saw his face. After five years of agonizing about him and the abruptness of their crazy, passionate interlude together, Cheng was sitting right in front of her.
~
Cheng closed his eyes, savoring the memories of Angela’s warmth, both from her personality as well as her body, remembering their time together fondly. Before he could even stop himself, he found himself saying those words that had so easily found their way out of his mouth that morning when they’d last seen each other “tian shi.” It was barely a whisper, but so full of the yearning he’d held for her all of this time.
Yes, she was indeed his angel and he’d been waiting nearly half a decade for this reunion. One he thought he was going to have to work a hell of a lot harder to orchestrate than this once he was in the states. He couldn’t believe that the one person he’d been searching for turned out to be his Director of Operations in the US satellite office he’d just been transferred to in Northern California.
Yet when Cheng opened his eyes again, he saw that Angela’s look of stricken surprise, and now what he recognized as possibly even being dismay, had turned into something else altogether – sheer ice. The glacial contempt and composure of a General about to go into an all out assault in a war battle greeted him as she’d already rearmed herself with her iPad. She’d even just reopened the door so that they did not have any level of privacy or unnecessary personal intimacy at all right now.
“Mr. Liu, welcome,” she said in a frigid tone that invited many different feelings, but not of any sort of warm reception at all. “I trust you’ve had your tour around the facilities and are getting all set up, so I’ll briefly run through a list of priorities so we can discuss who should handle what tasks and specific responsibilities.”
Cheng simply nodded, dumbfounded. He stared at her, trying to take in her words when all he wanted to do was kiss her, beg for her forgiveness and start over. Well, pick up from where they had last left off anyway. He understood her hurt and anger, but if she’d only give him a chance to explain, he was sure she’d understand what had kept him away from her for so long and they could find a way to work things out. They were here together again at last and that was all that mattered… right?
~
Angela went through her list with rapid fire succession, efficiency and professionalism. Being good at her job, she understood. The barrage of feelings tripping through what was normally a very rational mind, but was now reduced to a mushy pile of goo that she was sure would ooze out of her head through her ears at any second? That shit she couldn’t comprehend right now to save her life. There were so many questions she wanted to ask, but knew she wouldn’t. Knew she couldn’t. Too much time had passed.
Nothing in her life was the same now as it had been that day that she left Hong Kong five years ago. Angela felt conflicted. On the one hand there were so many things she wanted to tell Cheng; even if it was just to cuss him out for how much grief his breaking his promise had caused her in the last few years. Yet she felt torn because on the other hand, what if he didn’t even care about what she felt and had to say? Maybe it had just been a screw to him after all, and none of her heartache would even matter to him. She didn’t really believe that though, couldn’t really, especially not the way he was looking at her now.
Still, the anger, which she almost never allowed herself to feel, and the sadness combined to make her feel like she could barely breathe. She simply wanted to get out of here as soon as possible. After she’d rattled off priorities along with her recommendations for who should be responsible for them, she told him she would follow up with key bullet points in a PowerPoint presentation by e-mail later today.
The rest of the day, she did everything in her power to avoid Cheng. She would duck into the ladies’ restroom or talk to another colleague whenever he started to come her way. She did not attend his first day welcome lunch, making excuses that she had pressing work that needed to get done immediately – which was true. She answered any of his inquiries by e-mail only, though she normally preferred more face time with her coworkers, since they had such a small office environment. Angela even went home on time, instead of staying late as usual to keep from being trapped in the same office building with that insufferable man another second.
Why oh why did he have to be even finer than she’d remembered? He looked like he’d been doing nothing but hitting the gym every day since they’d last encountered one another. The man was looking so damn good, but a bit different than the last time she’d seen him. His hair was now a few inches long and arranged in a stylish layered haircut and he was clean shaven.
&n
bsp; Angela hadn’t drunk any alcohol in a long time, but as she was on her way home tonight, she stopped to pick up a bottle of wine. A glass of wine, or maybe ten, sounded excellent right about now.
Chapter Four
Cheng’s transfer to this US satellite office had taken place so quickly that he’d never gotten a chance to learn too much about the people he’d be working with before he got here. He was now realizing that had been a huge tactical error on his part. There had been a sudden opening in the states so he’d gone ahead and seized the opportunity. Yet if he’d known Angela was going to be here, he could have at least been more prepared to face her.
He thought he’d have time to get himself situated and at least somewhat settled before he sought her out. Then he’d found himself face-to-face with her, tongue-tied like a moron, while she’d done everything she could to ignore him. Damn. This hadn’t gone at all like the scenario he had pictured of her in his head with them reuniting.
Cheng wasn’t at all surprised to discover later that Angela was dedicated and considered to be one of the hardest workers in their entire office. When she had avoided him all day, even bowing out of his welcome lunch under the auspice of having work to do, no one had missed a step, blinked an eye, or said anything at all. Even if they thought her behavior a bit rude, they still simply expected her to be the glue that kept shit running smoothly in their office. No matter what her personal sacrifice was and how much they had to brow beat her to make her feel like she had to continue proving herself.
Cheng didn’t like to see those kind of psychological tactics employed in the workplace, but he was her supervisor and needed to see for himself what, if anything, needed to change with those dynamics. Cheng knew how things like that really went. It was simply par for the course at work. Others treated her like a grunt so that her expectation would always be that she had to constantly work harder than anyone else so she could continually provide evidence that she was good enough to keep working here.
Though if he had to guess, he’d say she’d probably proven herself here a hundred times over already. Otherwise, at a Chinese company that predominantly had Asian employees, she would have long since been let go, despite her general international expertise and specific American business know-how. Cheng would bet Angela had never taken any time off from work and had never been late to this job either. That was just her way though. He knew she was always the one who made that invisible magic happen behind the scenes so that others around her could benefit. Cheng sighed and raked a frustrated hand over his face. He couldn’t do this.
He couldn’t pretend like he was just her supervisor and nothing more. They couldn’t have another work day of Angela begrudgingly answering his emails, not speaking to him directly after she found out he was her new boss and her generally avoiding him. Cheng had waited too long to hold her again, to see her, to make love to her. So even though he probably shouldn’t be doing this for his personal gain, ok he definitely shouldn’t be, he was thumbing through her personnel file to find her home address right now. If anyone caught him, he could just say he was interested in knowing more about all of his employees…
~
Angela still wasn’t sure what to make of all the day’s events as she sat in her favorite, soothing, chocolate brown leather recliner, ignoring the sights and sounds of the TV and drinking a glass of Roscato, a sweet, red wine. As she finally made her way to the kitchen, nearly unwilling to leave the comfort of her familiar chair, the doorbell rang. Weird. Looking over at the microwave clock, she saw that it was already 8:00 pm. She wasn’t expecting anyone tonight. Her fiancé was a doctor and was on-call at the hospital tonight, so she knew it wasn’t him.
Maybe it was one of her neighbors, a friend, or a family member? Though people who knew her well also knew that she didn’t like for them to stop by uninvited or without at least calling first. Angela checked the peephole and stiffened. Seriously?
She was so sick and tired of Mr. McDreamy Businessman dropping in unexpectedly and unwanted in her life today. How the hell had Cheng gotten her address anyway? As part of her efforts to move on from this very man, Angela had ensured that she wasn’t listed. Oh wait… he was her boss. He’d probably raided her HR files. Son. Of. A. Bitch! Angela just wanted to ignore him here at home, the way she’d mostly done throughout the day at work.
As the thought of turning away from the door began to seem more and more appealing to her, Cheng spoke out as if he sensed her intentions. “Angela, I know you’re in there. Please open the door and let me talk to you.” She rolled her eyes, but knew she wasn’t going to be able to stall on having another confrontation with him forever.
After all, it wasn’t like she wouldn’t see him again at work tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that too. She rolled her eyes again. This couldn’t go on all week and certainly not any longer, with him stalking her at work and home, so she figured she might as well open the door now and get this over with. She took a deep breath and unlocked the door then twisted the doorknob.
~
Cheng wasn’t really sure if Angela was ever going to open the door once she discovered it was him on the other side. He hoped she would so he wouldn’t have driven forty-five minutes from work, not to mention relocating to a foreign country, and all for nothing. She did open the door eventually, slowly, cautiously and she looked none too pleased to see him now either. “I’m sorry to show up unexpectedly at your home. Please let me explain to you that my disappearing act for the last few years hasn’t been what you probably thought it was.”
Angela raised an eyebrow in what was clearly suspicion and disbelief, but just as he was opening his mouth, about to begin his own tale of woe, Cheng got distracted. It turned out that Angela clearly wasn’t at home alone as he had hoped she’d be, because behind her now stood a small child. “Mommy, who’s this man? Did he come to visit and play with us?” Angela had stiffened at the sound of her son’s voice and now stood completely frozen.
When she recovered herself a bit she answered her little boy. “Mommy works with this man, now why don’t you go back and finish watching Yo Gabba Gabba. I’ll come back into the den with you soon, okay baby?” Angela squatted on her haunches to talk directly to her son before she gave him a quick hug and tried to send him on his way.
“Hey mister, do you want to stay and watch Yo Gabba Gabba too? This one is all about friends.” The boy beamed in anticipation of Cheng’s response.
Cheng looked at Angela’s stricken, pleading face then back at the boy’s. Cheng smiled warmly and replied, “Maybe another time little guy, your mommy is tired and I’m not staying long right now.”
“Well I think I’d like if you came back and visited me another time then. I like you. You kind of look like me,” the boy smiled brilliantly then ran off from the main foyer.
Yes, Cheng had noticed the resemblance too. The little boy looked to be about four years old and looked mostly like Cheng except that he was just a little tanner, had slightly rounder eyes, but they were still most decidedly almond shaped, his lips were a bit fuller than Cheng’s and he had loose curly hair in the deep, rich, auburn color that was his mother’s natural hair color.
For what seemed like a long time, Angela, the most beautiful woman in the world to Cheng, simply stared at the ground, seemingly at a loss for words. Cheng finally decided to break the silence first, his quiet words seeming to force Angela to look up at him again. “So what’s my son’s name?”
She stared at him silently, searchingly for a moment. Cheng started to feel fidgety with her extended silence while he was seemingly under her scrutiny, though he forced himself to remain standing erect and unmoving. Would Angela try to deny that the baby was his? He hoped not, because his gut instinct told him, screamed at him in fact, that the boy was indeed his son too. “Jayden,” she finally answered too quietly.
Cheng nodded and said, “I like that name. It seems to suit him.” When she didn’t say anything further, Cheng added, “Is Jayden the r
eason you’ve been avoiding me all day? You weren’t going to tell me about him?”
Angela visibly stiffened again. When she did speak again, this time her tone was definitely raised. “What do you care? My son and I have been doing just fine without you for the last five years.”
Cheng felt affronted, as though she’d physically slapped him. “I still want to know him. He is my son too.”
Panic and fear lit Angela’s slightly widened eyes now. “You… you wouldn’t…” she started, but her voice faltered and trailed off there, as if she couldn’t bring herself to finish what she was going to ask.
“Take him from you?” Cheng asked incredulously, one of his eyebrows arching. Angela’s sheer terror in response answered his question for him. “Of course not! You’re his mother. I’d never try to separate the two of you.” Cheng’s voice softened then as he continued to look into her eyes. “Besides, Jayden is both our baby, and I want the both of you.”
Cheng couldn’t believe he’d just told her that, but he’d had to because he knew it was true. He’d wanted Angela and had desired to be a part of her life for a long time. Yet even though he’d just found out he had a son he hadn’t known existed prior to a few minutes ago, he couldn’t think of anything he’d rather do more than raise a family with the woman he adored, admired and desired.
Angela was already shaking her head, however. “It’s too late. Everything is different now and too much time has passed. Besides, we’re practically strangers anyway and since you don’t seem to have noticed, I’m already engaged to someone else. We’re getting married in another few months,” she said as she pointed out the sparkly engagement ring on her left hand.
Cheng felt like someone had just ripped the floor out from beneath him after sucker punching him in the stomach. After all the time and sacrifice he’d put into making this moment a reality, in the same five minute period he couldn’t have just gone through losing most of what he’d wanted and valued most in his life for so long. His woman, his baby and his dreams for all of them to have a future together, gone? Just like that?