by Vivi Andrews
“Yeah, well, maybe your reasons are stupid.” Keeping a healthy, attractive young woman with the libido of a cat cooped up on a secluded ranch with a bunch of men she couldn’t have was downright cruel and unusual. Ava had seen Lifetime movies about religious cults that did the same and things always ended badly for the misogynistic pigs running the show.
“Valuing human life is stupid, now?”
They hit a particularly nasty bump and Landon was forced to slow to a reasonable speed.
Ava frowned. “What does human life have to with a—”
“Ava,” Landon interrupted, her name sharp this time. “You’re in heat.”
“No, I’m no…” Her denial was automatic, but her voice trailed off as she mentally did the math. “Shit.”
The shape-shifters who traded shapes between human and lion form didn’t possess the exact physiological traits of either. A shifter lioness would go into heat only three times a year, lasting anywhere from a few hours to several days. And like their feline cousins, they wanted sex almost constantly during that period. Even the birth control shots she received to suppress ovulation couldn’t combat the hormonal demands her body made during her heat.
“I don’t see what that has to do with anything.” Ava folded her arms across her still-sensitive breasts, knowing she looked like a petulant child, but feeling like one giant exposed nerve.
“You don’t s—” Landon cut himself off, his hands fisting on the steering wheel. He bit out his next words with careful precision. “Have you ever had sex while you were in heat?”
A blush rose up her already warm face until she felt like her cheeks were on fire. “No.” She left her answer at that. He didn’t need to know that her entire sexual history consisted of a few bumbling encounters in dorm rooms the one semester of college when her family had eased up on the reins enough to allow her to live on campus.
She’d been embarrassingly celibate ever since she’d moved back to the ranch. As if it wasn’t bad enough having four ridiculously over-protective older brothers lurking around every corner, the lionesses who weren’t old enough or genetically desirable enough to mate were cloistered while they were in heat to avoid unwanted pregnancies. So her opportunities for sex in heat were severely limited.
“When a shifter is in heat, everything is amplified,” Landon explained, his tone carefully blank. “Many females, particularly the younger, less experienced ones, will shift uncontrollably when they climax. That is why we have rules against seducing humans during heat. It isn’t safe to be with someone who can’t defend himself, or understand what the fuck just happened when he finds himself in bed with a several-hundred-pound lioness.”
Ava’s blush was getting downright uncomfortable. “I’m sorry,” she muttered in the direction of her lap. “I didn’t realize.” But then her remorse faded and she frowned at the Roman gladiator driving the jeep. “It still doesn’t seem fair. You guys get to go around screwing anything that moves and we have to be virgin priestesses.”
“I’m not telling you not to get fucked,” Landon snapped. “I’m telling you not to fuck a human.”
Ava bit her lip on the complaint that was poised to jump out of her mouth and mortify her—that the only lion she had ever wanted was him. She was afraid he already knew. The way she had reacted to him, wordlessly begging him to take her, had made her feelings for him pathetically clear.
She had wanted him since the second she saw him walking through the compound the first day he arrived, wary and worn from his travels. Even before he was Alpha. She had felt desire tightening her body when he was just another reckless nomad, a lion without a pride. She’d had more of a shot with him then. The second he became Alpha was the instant he rose out of her reach.
To a nomad, any lioness was a prize, even a small, abnormal one. But the Alpha? He would mate with the strongest and fastest among them, and Ava would never even come close.
So why had he leapt on her in the jeep? Was it possible he could really want her? Or was the truth much more awful than that? Could he have somehow learned of her infatuation? Was he taunting her? Playing some horrible game? Was that why he had stopped just short of taking her?
Ava glanced over, her eyes locking hungrily on the impressive bulge beneath his fly. No, he wanted her all right. There was no doubt about that.
Landon looked over at her—just in time to see her staring at his crotch. Ava’s blush reached terminal levels as he shifted uncomfortably in the seat. “That’s another reason unsuitable females are sequestered when in heat.”
Ava flinched back from the words like he’d slapped her. Unsuitable?
As they pulled into the compound, he went on relentlessly. “Any male coming into contact with you, looking and smelling and acting the way you did tonight would have lost control and climbed all over you. That’s why there are rules, Ava.”
She averted her face as he slowed the jeep, rolling slowly between the low-lying bungalows that made up the ranch compound where the pride lived. She was not going to cry in front of him. Even if he was telling her that the electric, soul-searing almost-tryst they had shared not ten minutes ago was nothing more than a forced chemical reaction.
Ava felt an ominous tightness behind her eyes and swallowed thickly, fighting to keep it together. So what if he didn’t want her? So what if he was saying he never would have touched her if not for the hormones messing with his impulses? He was just the only lion she had ever wanted. What was so special about that?
Landon parked the jeep in front of a small cluster of bungalows. Hers wasn’t one of them and his was on the opposite end of the ranch, but she wasn’t about to argue the point with him. At the moment, she needed to get away from him. Fast. Before she started blubbering all over his upholstery.
Ava threw open the door and launched herself out into the night, running toward the nearest familiar bungalow, Zoe’s. She managed to get the door firmly closed behind her before she collapsed to the floor in an undignified heap and burst into tears.
Chapter Five
In retrospect, bursting into Zoe’s one room home with her clothing in shreds and collapsing into hysterics was not the best course of action. After Ava brought herself under control, it took a long and embarrassingly detailed explanation to calm Zoe enough that she stopped threatening to bring in Ava’s brothers. Or worse, her own.
Ava sprawled on the one item of furniture in Zoe’s place, a low, sturdy, king-sized bed, and watched her friend prowl the floor. Ava didn’t know why Zoe’s five-ten Viking goddess appearance didn’t intimidate her, but for some reason the former-nomad was the only lioness in the pride she felt completely comfortable with.
Too alphic for Ava’s preferred method of strategic retreat, Zoe stalked across the room attacking the problem head on. “He said you were unsuitable? That was the word he used?” Zoe questioned, no shock or outrage in her tone, just a need to get the facts straight.
“Unsuitable,” Ava repeated, trying to distance herself from the pain of the word. It hadn’t been said to her, she told herself. She was just recounting the experiences of some unknown third-party, talking about last night’s TV drama. It wasn’t real, this hurt she was feeling.
Zoe shook her head, frowning in confusion. “That doesn’t sound like him. He’s always said that cloistering the women who weren’t ‘pure’ enough to breed was barbaric. Just like tossing perfectly strong males out of a pride when they matured because of the threat they posed to the Alpha.”
“He tossed out Leonus and Kato,” Ava reminded her.
“Who ran this pride like their own private harem before Landon challenged them for control. Half of the lionesses hated them. Those two were not the type to take their defeat lightly. If he hadn’t banished them, they would have ripped the pride apart. But he didn’t throw your brothers out, did he?”
“Neither did Leonus and Kato when they took over. Too afraid of them.”
“Which is why the Bastard Coalition never bothered you, but that i
sn’t why Landon keeps them around. He likes your brothers.” Zoe tipped her head to the side, pausing in her pacing to consider some new angle. “Which might explain why Landon felt so guilty for jumping on you in the jeep.”
“Fear of my brothers?”
“No, respect for them. And exposure to their idea of you. They talk about you like you’re fifteen, Ava. And while you may look like a mature young woman, you’re small enough that Landon probably thought he had come this close to raping a baby.”
“I clearly wanted him,” Ava protested.
“You’re in heat. He thinks you don’t know what you want, that you can’t control your body.”
“I’m not howling and scratching the walls yet,” Ava snapped.
“Of course you aren’t, and I’m not suggesting you will. It’s my brother who had a hormonal lobotomy tonight, not me.” Zoe began pacing again, her long-legged stride eating up the room. “What did he say exactly?”
“I don’t know,” Ava hedged, as though the words had not been seared into her mind, leaving a ragged scar in their shape. “Something like ‘There’s a reason unsuitable females are sequestered. Any male who smelled you would have lost control.’”
Zoe turned toward her sharply, tossing the hip-length mass of her dark golden hair over her shoulder. “He said he lost control?” she asked eagerly.
“He said anyone would have,” Ava corrected.
Zoe waved away the clarification, smiling smugly. “You made him lose control!” she crowed. “Of course, you did, he destroyed your jeans. Oh, this is good. Big, bad Alpha can’t keep it zipped around sweet little Ava. I love it.”
“I’m glad one of us does,” Ava grumbled, hugging her knees to her chest.
“Don’t you see, Ava? This is fantastic.”
Ava grunted, not sharing Zoe’s enthusiasm.
“Landon never loses control. He’s too busy playing master of the universe. But, you, Ava. You wrangled an alpha in a rage out of a bar fight, no mean feat. And then you incited him to jump you, without even trying. You ruled him tonight.”
“Then why did he stop?” Ava blurted, blushing furiously when Zoe laughed throatily.
“Kitten, if you want a spot in my brother’s bed, that isn’t a problem. But if you want to be his mate, his partner, the love of his life, rule the pride and breed little Landons off him, then you’re going to have to grow a spine and get ready to fight tooth and nail, fang and claw, for him, because no matter how much he wants you, he isn’t going to make you his one and only unless you can prove that you aren’t a submissive little doormat.”
“Little being the operative word,” Ava snapped. “I can’t just run around challenging the female alphas, Zoe. Some of them have a hundred pounds on me in their human form. I wouldn’t last five seconds.”
Zoe smiled, a purely feline curve of her lips. “There’s more than one way to skin a cat, Ava-dear. Just because you can’t take them in a fight, doesn’t mean you can’t dominate them.”
“I don’t think—”
“Then I guess you don’t want Landon,” Zoe cut her off brutally, frustrated by her prevarications. “Because until you stop meekly obeying every order, bowing down to your bullying brothers and the bullying cats angling to be Landon’s mate, you will never be strong enough to deserve him. If you want to mate the Alpha, you need to be the biggest, baddest kitty in the pride.”
“But I am the smallest,” Ava wailed.
“Physical size doesn’t mean shit,” Zoe snapped. “Size is a state of mind, kitten. And yours is only microscopic because you are too damn scared to go after what you want.”
“I can’t—”
“I don’t, I can’t, I won’t.” Zoe threw her hands up in the air and stalked to the opposite end of the bungalow. “I wash my hands of you. You need to change your attitude, but if you don’t want it for yourself, let alone for darling Landon, there is nothing I can do.”
“Zoe…”
“I’m done,” she said, her voice sharp and dismissive. Then she turned and her face softened at Ava’s stricken expression. “I’m glad you’re home safe,” she said, much more gently. “It just drives me crazy when people are too frightened to go after the things they want. You play it safe and all you end up with is a lifetime of should-have-beens.”
Zoe turned to look out the window, once again dismissing her.
Ava climbed off the bed, tugging at the wraparound skirt she had borrowed to replace her massacred jeans. “I’ll return this tomorrow.”
Zoe waved away the comment without turning from the view. “Keep it. It’s too short on me anyway.”
“Zoe…”
“I’m not mad at you, Ava,” Zoe said, still without looking at her.
Ava knew Zoe couldn’t stand indecision. Everything was black or white to her, but Ava couldn’t seem to stop seeing the grays in every situation. She waited for Zoe to go on, but the silence stretched. “’kay,” she said finally. “Good night.”
“Night, kitten,” Zoe said, her tone affectionate even though she continued to gaze out the window. “Bite those bed bugs back.”
Ava laughed softly and slipped out into the darkness outside. There were no floodlights in the compound and the moon had long since set, but Ava could easily pick out the shadowy shapes of the bungalows from the dim, distant light of the stars.
She set off across the ranch toward her own little one room house, stepping silently so as not to alert the sensitive ears of her pride members. The midsummer heat was still stifling, even so long after sunset, but Ava didn’t mind the weight of it on her skin. Lions were often nocturnal hunters, active in the coolest part of the night, but the itch along Ava’s spine was not the urge to shift and run after game. She had prey of a different sort on her mind.
Landon’s jeep had disappeared, presumably back to his own bungalow, but for all she knew he was off sating himself with some “suitable” female. Ava clenched her teeth against the flood of angry jealous that welled up at the thought.
Who he slept with was none of her business. He didn’t belong to her. He never would. In fact, in days, weeks at most, he would select his mate and then he would belong heart, body, and soul to someone else. Someone big and strong who Ava would be afraid to go up against. If she even stared at him too long, his mate would be within her rights to take her down a peg.
She sighed. Even her fantasies had an expiration date.
Ava stalked through the night, her skin slick from the heat, both external and internal. She’d been in heat before, but it had never felt quite like this. Landon’s presence, in the jeep, in the bar, over the last few weeks around the ranch, had amplified everything.
Her skin felt two sizes too tight. She walked fast because if she slowed, even for a moment, the slow, writhing pressure would take over her limbs. Her breasts were heavy and tender, the flesh between her legs swollen and wet. She’d had precious little satisfaction in the jeep. Just enough to drive her even further into this madness without providing any relief.
Ava rubbed at the tension in her neck, the touch transforming into a caress sliding down the throat, the softness of her own skin teasing her fingers. She flung her hands out, fighting the temptation to touch herself, and stopped on the darkened path in front of a bungalow, breathing too quickly after her walk.
She looked up, confused to find that her feet had not carried her home. That instinct had been overridden by the clamoring of her body. The shadow of a figure within stalked past the lit window.
Landon.
Ava shuddered at the sight of him. She could never be his mate, that much was clear, but Zoe’s challenge to go after what she wanted still rang in her mind. She might not be able to have him forever, but she could have him tonight. This may very well be her one chance to be with Landon before he irrevocably belonged to another.
Her skin was about to crawl away without her and only Landon would do to scratch her itch. No other male, man or lion, had ever made her feel this spiraling insanity o
f lust.
Any male would lose control if she went to him, in heat, and waved her tail in his face. He would lose control. And if he didn’t…did it even matter? She’d already embarrassed herself—ripping his clothing off him, begging for more. Why not go for full-fledged humiliation?
She shook away the thought. She wouldn’t be humiliated. Tonight she wasn’t weak, passive Ava. Tonight she was a feline goddess, hopped up on hormones and irresistible to men.
Ava tipped back her chin, feeling purpose blazing through her. Tomorrow, she would be invisible Ava again, but tonight, she was his.
Chapter Six
Landon prowled across his room, the spacious bungalow feeling like a cage, as thoughts of Ava chased him. The memory of her fleeing from him, sprinting into the safety of Zoe’s bungalow, burned in his mind.
He didn’t blame her for her fear. He’d been a beast, feral and uncontrolled, attacking her like that in the jeep. Was it possible she really hadn’t realized she was in heat? How could she not have known what her scent was doing to him?
Landon growled low in his throat as he stalked the room, the blind need she had ignited in him still burning in his gut. He should have dropped in on another lioness or two before coming back to his own place. Shana had made it clear on numerous occasions that she was always available to him, more than willing to crawl into his bed whenever he would allow her there. She was an ambitious minx, but he knew exactly what he was getting with her. She would never make him feel unhinged and out of balance the way Ava did.
Shana was strong and fast, aggressive and manipulative. She would make an excellent consort, but Landon hadn’t been able to bring himself to declare her so. Some instinct had always held him back. But at the moment, those same instincts were screaming for him to track Ava and brand her as his own, body and soul. So perhaps his instincts with the females of this pride were not to be trusted.
Landon turned and paced. Paced and turned. The bungalow in the ranch compound designated for the Alpha’s use was second in size only to the Great Hall where the pride gathered for ceremonies, but it felt microscopic tonight. The high ceilings with rough, exposed wood beams seemed to press down on him. And even the natural wood floors, nicked and scarred by the claws of his predecessors, taunted him with everything he could not allow himself to do.