by Bry Ann
“Whatever. It’s easier for me that way anyway.”
She snatched the keys off the wall and headed to the car. I grabbed a shirt and jeans, and brushed my teeth. I flew out the door, expecting to find her in the passenger seat with her giant bag like she always was, but no. When I got there, my car was gone.
“Little bitch!” I yelled, slamming the front door and pacing around.
“Axel!” Mom screamed. “You go around here saying whatever words you darn well please and I allow it. However,” she said pointing a finger at me, “you will never refer to a woman like that again. You understand me?”
“Yeah, yeah… but Aly took my fucking car.”
I expected anger or curiosity from my parents, but no. Dad laughed. Like laughed his fucking his ass off.
“That little girl has balls.” He laughed.
“Can I borrow your car?” I asked him.
“Sorry, boy. Your mom and I need the car today. It looks like you are trapped inside.” He laughed again. “She has my respect,” he muttered happily as he walked into the garage.
For the first time since I was a teen, I went upstairs and turned my room into a tornado, throwing everything insight. I needed an outlet. I called Mac from my boxing gym and asked him to pick me up. There was this bar outside of town that had great drugs, greatwomen, and great booze. Two can play this game, Aly, I thought to myself. Two can play this game.
Driving away in X’s car was the only thing that calmed me down. I was alone, free, and most importantly, I was making him as mad as he made me. I rolled down the window and let the air hit my face. I tried to pretend that the air was washing away the emotional mess I had gotten myself into. I think as angry as I was at X, I was more angry at myself. Angry that I would let myself walk into a situation that I knew would only end in me getting hurt.
I decided to go to town square again since I never saw the shops last time I was there. I didn’t have a cent to my name, but I enjoyed window shopping and hoped to run into a place with magazines. Hollywood gossip might just have been my biggest guilty pleasure, one I rarely got to engage in because of my family’s strict Christian values. Now I could read all the trash I wanted. I planned to take full advantage.
The familiar twinge of guilt popped into my head. I hadn’t been to church, and I hadn’t prayed or read my Bible since the incident in the storage closet. It felt like apart of me was missing, but I also didn’t feel ready to dive back into my faith again. Now I was going to read Hollywood magazines alone. I didn’t like how I felt inside. The easy solution would be to pick up my Bible, pray, and go to church with X’s parents. The problem was anytime I thought about doing that, all the feelings of pain, confusion, and betrayal came rushing back to me. I’d have to deal with all that later. Right now, I needed a distraction.
I found a parking spot, got out, and spent some time window shopping at the Gap. I had been walking around for two hours trying to kill time before I decided to head to the fountain to take a seat. Luckily, my vertigo had gotten a lot better since getting out of the hospital this last time due to a combination of medication and some exercises the physical therapist had prescribed to strengthen my vestibular system. I was three-fourths of the way to the fountain seat I wanted when I heard familiar laughter from across the pavement. I turned around and saw Ryan laughing with his friends. The anger that I had been trying to distract myself from came bubbling to the surface at full force. I stormed over to them.
“You lied to me,” I spat at Ryan.
He turned around smiled.“ Alyyyyy…” Ryan said, extending his hands. “How are you?”
“Don’t touch me!” I screamed when he tried to wrap his arm around me.
Ryan smiled. “You know, you struck me as the shy, quiet type. That’s how Sarah was anyway. This,” he said, gesturing to my angry stance, “is quite the surprise.”
“You don’t get to talk about her. You don’t get that! You are the darkest form of evil, and you will stay away from X and me!”
“Will I?”
“Yeah, you will.”
“See, if I walk away from you right now, you’ll never know where my buddy A.R. told me Axel is right now.”
“What? He doesn’t have his car. He’s at the house.”
“Oh, he’s not at the house.” Ryan smirked.
“Where is he? You know what? I don’t care where he is!”
“Oh, Aly.”Ryan laughed.“ We both know you do care where he is, and I will tell you.”
“You will?”
“Of course, I’ll just need something in return.”
“I have nothing to give you,” I said, taking a step back.
“Yes, you do,” he said, running his eyes down the length of my body.
“No, I don’t,” I emphasized, feeling my adrenaline spike.
“Yes, you do. That scar on your arm. I want to know what happened. Who gave it to you?”
“What?” I asked, confused. “Why in the world would you want to know that?”
“Curiosity.”
“No, it’s more than that, but if I tell you, you have to promise not to hurt X with whatever you are scheming.”
“Geez, Aly, you make this all too easy,” he said, laughing and running a hand over his face.
“What? What too easy?”
“Nothing. Let’s just trade our facts so you can go help Axel deal with whatever drugs he’s stuffed into his system this time.”
“Drugs?” I winced.
“Yeah, now tell me what I want to know.”
“Wait, I don’t trust you.”
“How about this? I’ll have A.R. text you the address now,” as he spoke some guy pulled out his phone, “but I won’t let you look until you tell me what I want to know.”
Bad idea, Aly. Bad idea.
“What’s your number?” Ryan asked.
“I don’t trust you,” I stammered.
“What is your fucking number, Aly?”
Out of nerves, I just spat it out. “917-263-4019.”
“Perfect,” Ryan said with a grin as one of his friends typed away on his phone. “Now do we have a deal?”
“Fine.” I heard my phone ding. “My dad and my old best friend Brandon locked me in a storage closet for five days because I was leaving for Seattle and they thought I was a terrible Christian. They tortured me for five days with a taser and a knife to make me ‘better.’ Happy?” I reached in my bag for my cell phone. Sure enough, it had a text from a random number with an address. “You texted me the address. I’m impressed.”
When I glanced up, Ryan’s lackeys seemed pretty mortified by my whole story, so I looked away quickly. I didn’t want to get emotional. When I finally glanced at Ryan, he was eyeing me up and down like he was trying to read me.
“What is this place?”
“It’s a bar. Right outside of town,” he said with a wink. He turned to walk away. “Hope to see you soon, Aly.”
“Here’s to hopefully never seeing your face again,” I snapped back.
After they were gone, I stared at my phone for several minutes and groaned. My day was ruined. I got in the car and headed back to the house. By the time I arrived, I was angry and conflicted, and X’s parents were home. I walked in, threw my phone on the table, and sat back on the couch with my arms crossed. His parents walked into the room and seemed shocked to see me.
“Is the car not what you thought it would be?” his dad asked. “You were gone for less than three hours.”
“Everything okay, Hun?” his mom said, sitting down on the couch next to me.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I mumbled. “Where’s X?”
“Not here, Aly. He went out with a friend,” his dad said as he turned on the television.
“Why did you come back so early, sweetie? I mean, you’ve been dying to get out on your own.”
“It’s complicated,” I grumbled as the images of Ryan taunting me and X going back to his party days filled my brain. “I mean, why does he do this?”
“Who does what, Hun?” his mom asked me gently.
“X is at some bar getting drunk and high. I hate when he does that stuff. I thought he was done with that. He’s so much better than that. He has so much potential, and he deserves better than he allows himself. It’s infuriating.’’
Both of his parents turned to me. His dad eyed me carefully, but his mom sighed and put her hand on my knee.
“Axel has always been a challenge. He runs hot. He has so many feelings, and he cares about things so deeply that it’s like he internally combusts. It got worse after…well, you know, Sarah. Usually, boxing helps, but he keeps complaining that the fighting here is lame and there’s just a lot going on for him right now. He’s a good boy; he just can’t seem to bring himself to be a good man.”
“I mean, I’m not a good person anymore either. I haven’t prayed or been to church or anything, but…”
His dad cut me off. “Aly, listen to me. You are a great person and a great Christian young lady. You have every right to be confused about your faith right now. You were hurt deeply and still haven’t discussed it with anyone, other than spouting off what happened nonchalantly. When you are ready, you will find your connection with God again. I know that, and so does God. Plus, soon you will have your freedom back. The paperwork to get to trial and getting everyone summoned just takes time.”
“Thank you,” I said, looking down at my feet. “ X is lucky to have you guys. He’s so lucky, and he doesn’t even know. It’s crazy. He’s crazy.”
They gave each other small smiles. “He’ll understand the value of family one day.”
I nodded.
“How do you know where he went?” his dad asked, turning to look at me.
I bit my lower lip. They were not going to like the answer.
“I ran into that Ryan kid. He was trying to make me mad, I think. He succeeded.” I looked down and shuffled my feet.
His mom gave a slight gasp, and his dad clenched his fists. “That boy needs to leave my son the hell alone.”
I’d never seen X’s dad that mad.
“You need to be careful around him, Aly. He will hurt you if it means hurting Axel. He knows the pain of the heart is much greater than the pain of the body.”
“I’m careful, but also like, he knows X and I aren’t that close.”
Both of his parents looked at each other.
“You are such a naive girl,” his dad said, shaking his head.
We all sat there for a minute and then I shot up. Somewhere in the midst of this conversation, my anger had turned to determination.
“I’m going to get him,” I said defiantly. “I’m done with this.”
“What?” His mom looked shocked. “Hun, the place he’s at is, well…”
Her husband put his hand on her shoulder to politely silence her. “Why?”
“I need answers,” I said simply.
I didn’t even know what kind of answers I wanted from him. I wanted an acknowledgment of our friendship; acknowledgment from him that he cared. He had done more for me than anybody ever had, so I knew in my heart that he did care about me, but without any verbal acknowledgment, it was hard to know where we stood. Was he going to stay in touch with me when this was all over? Or was this all because he felt bad for me? I’m an extremely verbal person and I got that X was not, but he couldn’t keep being quiet, then yelling at me and now sleeping around while simultaneously saving my life on numerous occasions and being gentle with me when I was falling apart. It was confusing, and I truly did care for him. I needed to know he felt the same way. From his mouth and not his actions. Actions can be misinterpreted, but from a guy like X, words are carefully chosen, so I’d know it was the truth if he said it, and I needed the truth.
“Also, I’m done with his drunken pity parties,” I continued.“ He’s had two years of them. He’s done. I’m truly sorry for what happened to him and I’m sorry he’s never felt like he belonged anywhere, but you know what? I’ve been through bad stuff too, and I’m trying. He can do better than what he’s doing, and I’m going show him that.”
His dad nodded. “Then bring my boy home...again. You know, Aly, we’ve never gone after Axel. We always just let him be angry when we knew he had a condition and couldn’t understand the anger himself. He’s been alone, and frankly, probably very confused by his mind and the way he’s been treated. We let him make mistakes, mistakes we probably could have prevented if we’d been there and not pushed him away. We love him, but we’ve never shown him that. Seeing how you are around him, how you fight for him and aren’t afraid to stand up to him. Well, it’s made me rethink a lot of my choices as a parent.” He sat closer to his wife and put his hand on her knee. “We are trying to do better. To understand him.”
His mom came up and hugged me. She stuffed something in my hand, and I looked down at it. It was sixty dollars.
“I can’t take this,” I said, taking a step back.
“For some reason, I suspect you’ll need it,” she said with a wink. “Good luck.”
I smiled and thanked both of them before rushing out the door. My head was spinning with everything his parents had just said, but I had to push that aside for now. I needed to go shopping. X was going to regret the day he disappointed me and decided to run from himself. I’d run several times. It was time we were both done running.
The best part about being a pro-athlete (or an ex pro-athlete), and a famous one at that,is you rarely need to buy shit for yourself. I had downed quite a few beers since Mac took me to the bar. Mac was the only decent guy I knew from this town. He and I were pretty similar except Mac was a little sleazier than I was. Dudewas freakin’ weird, but a generally good person and had no probably putting up with my moods. I had yet to do any drugs, not that they weren’t offered, but I was just getting warmed up.
I said hello to a few hot girls at the bar, but honestly, no one called my name. After sleeping with that one chick and Aly completely going off the rails about it,I had no desire to fuck anyone else. She might not have been as perfectly innocent and immune to human desires as I once thought, but I didn’t want to be cocky and make the wrong assumption about someone as nice as her. Point being, I hadn’t found a good fuck yet, and primarily, it was Aly’s fault.
I was pretty much just tipsy with the intention of being drunk and high as fuck. I was talking with a few guys at the bar when most of them turned to look at the door. Usually, that meant some hot chick had walked in, so I just rolled my eyes and kept talking.
“Dude,” Mac said, cutting me off, “don’t you know her?”
I figured it was the chick from the night before, so I rolled my eyes and turned around to see what area of the bar I needed to avoid. However, when I saw who it was, I almost fell over in my chair. It was Aly. Not the Aly I knew either. She was walking into the bar like she had been there a hundred times before. That wasn’t even the worst part of it all. She looked hot. She was wearing a skin-tight short black skirt, a tight yellow lace shirt, and tall black heels. Her hair was pulledback, and she had very little makeup on because she didn’t need it. I had only seen her in something other than T-shirts and sweaters once, and it was short lived and by accident.
“Dude,” Mac said, waving a hand in my face.
“Shut the fuck up,” I growled and stormed over to her. The guys I was with followed. No one could know my attachment to her. I needed her to go.
She looked around for a few seconds and then locked eyes with me. Her facial expression gave nothing away. Somehow, I always ended up underestimating her. Just when I thought she’d reached the cap of ways she could surprise me, she did something else to send me over the edge.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I said through gritted teeth.
“I wanted to have a good time. I feel like that’s pretty obvious.” She put a hand on her hip and cocked her hips to the side. I tried not to look at the way her skirt rode up a little when she did that.
“What the hell
are you wearing?” I snapped at her. “What the fuck is that?”
“Dude, she looks hot,” I heard a guy behind me say and then she had the gall to smile at him in thanks.
She had to be uncomfortable. I know her. She was acting and doing a fucking good job at pretending she was not, though. I glared at her, and she just smiled. Finally, someone asked the question I’d been dreading.
“Dude, are you two together or something? Aren’t you in town with her? Like what the fuck are you guys?”
Now I had Aly’s full attention. She was drilling holes into my head with the intensity of her gaze. She shifted her body in curiosity, and with how fucking turned on I was, I wished she’d just stop moving. This was my chance to get her to leave. Aly was kind and believed the best in people, which was probably why she was here. If I hurt her enough, she’d leave. She didn’t have her car, and she wouldn’t make the same mistake twice, so I didn’t need to worry about her running away again. My parents wouldn’t let her anyway once she got to the house, and she’d have to go back there to return my car.
“Aly,” I said, turning to them with my drunken cocky tone, “is just some girl I met with a tough go. She’s a way to redeem myself after what happened the last time I was in this fucking town. Isn’t that right, Aly?” I turned back to face her and cocked an eyebrow.
Hurt crossed her face instantly, but she reined it in fast. I thought for sure she’d make an excuse to go, but she took a step forward and faced all the guys.
“Yep, pretty much. If you are gonna be in any danger, there’s no better way to stay safe than gain the sympathies of a known fighter,” she said with a wink. “Now I need a drink. Anyone got any recommendations?”
I walked off and ordered two shots. She went off with some guy who had his arm around her neck. I tried not to look. I tried to pay attention to the strippers they’d brought in for the night. I tried to smoke weed, but nothing was stopping me from keeping my eyes on Aly’s every move. She was at the bar with two guys, being all flirty. I couldn’t believe she knew how to act like this. I quickly learned that Aly was capable of acting overtly sexy and flirty; she just chose not to. She respected herself enough to act in a way that aligned with her morals, and I found that I respected her all the more for it.