Elijah kicked a stone in the path, watching Thomas go in after Hannah. That was another reason to leave. He needed to get over that feeling of jealousy and be able to wish Thomas and Hannah well. They would be good together. And he had no doubt that Thomas cared for her. He turned to his sister.
“I need to have my captain send someone else here to protect Hannah. I should never have come back home. I’ve only made things worse.”
Abigail frowned. “You are wrong, brother. What you feel now is fear. But you must not let it take you. Be strong. Listen to your own advice.”
“Today was a disaster. Abby, I have no idea what we are looking for or why. I was just spouting off a bunch of thoughts, but the truth is I just don’t know.”
“But you said we should look here. Let’s at least do that. You said we could check the stables and maybe some other places,” she said. “You can’t give up. Hannah…no, all of us, even Thomas, we are counting on you.”
“I don’t know, Abby. Being back here hasn’t been what I thought it would be. I feel—I feel confused like I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“Looks to me like you have these bad guys pretty nervous. So you must be doing something right. Anyway, who would you call? Who else could help, but you? You’re the one to help Hannah. God sent you.” Abigail walked to the hitching post and gave her new gelding a pat. “You will do your job. Of that I have no doubt. But that is not what you are most afraid of, is it? You know, brother, you should speak your heart before it’s too late.”
“What are you talking about?” Elijah swallowed hard. “Facing up to Dat, you mean?”
“No. That’s not what I mean, you daft man.” Abigail frowned and lifted an eyebrow at him. Then she gave a nod back toward the house. “You wish it were you in there with Hannah in place of Thomas.”
“Oh, please, Abby, she’s got a killer after her and I’m doing a lousy job of keeping her alive. That’s all that is between us right now. Hannah rejected me years ago. I have no interest in going through that again.”
“What makes you so sure she’d reject you this time?” Abigail said. “Hannah and Peter were happy. She was a good wife to him. But it was you she loved enough to set free.”
“Enough of this. You’re making my head hurt worse than it already does.” He turned away. “Let’s go check the stables for this journal. Then I’ll call McClendon and he can stay with the two of you tonight. I’ve got to go back before I…”
“Before you what, Elijah?” Abigail crossed her arms over her chest.
He looked up at the house, then back to his sister. “Before I do or say something that will hurt everyone.”
FIFTEEN
Hannah’s spirits lifted when Abigail invited her to spend the night at her home near Strasbourg. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept away from Nolt Cottage—a night away from the constant reminders of Jessica and Peter, from her life before, would be a welcome reprieve.
After dinner, she packed one dress and climbed into Abigail’s new carriage, while Abigail thanked Thomas for the gift of the horse and buggy. But when Elijah climbed in and sat beside her, a whole other feeling infused her blood.
“I thought you were going into the city to help with the search for Jackson, brother?” Abigail asked, sparing Hannah the need to frame the question as to why he was joining them.
Elijah flinched. “My partner, Tucci, has that under control. And…”
Hannah’s heart froze at his pause.
“And what?” Abigail prodded.
“Well, tomorrow is my last day. Dat, he gave me three days. I’m going to use them. Hannah has decided to spend the night with you. So, if my first priority is to protect her, then you’d better make space for two guests.”
“I knew you weren’t a quitter.” Abigail gave her new gelding a tap with the reins and they were off.
“Elijah, how would you feel about ’tending service with us in the morning?” Abigail asked.
Hannah had nearly forgotten that tomorrow was the Sabbath. A good word from Preacher Miller would do her well.
“I was welcomed at the gathering…but Sunday church? I don’t think so.”
“It is Providence that has brought you here, brother.” Abigail smiled. “And it would please me very much. Mother, as well.”
“And what do you think of my coming to Sunday church, Hannah?”
“Me? Well, I—I cannot say.” Suddenly the image of Elijah in Plain dark trousers, a blue button-up shirt and black felt hat fell into her head. She hoped she did not blush. Why would she think such a silly thing? “I have no objections. But I cannot speak for others.”
“Then you would welcome my coming?”
“Aye, I would.”
Hannah was glad to see Abigail’s home just in front of them and to have the end of this conversation.
It had been years since she’d been to see Abigail; Elijah’s sister was a bit of an oddity in the Ordnung, not marrying, and living alone. Her place was large and fine. For years, she had been consulted for her knowledge as a Doula and as a doctors’ aide at the hospital. Often, women would seek her help with womanly pains or other ailments when they did not need the consultation of a medical doctor.
Because of her clinic space, the house was more modern than most Amish. She even had more than one bathroom.
“One for clients. One for me,” she explained.
And a fancy climate controller, which maintained seventy-two degrees even in summer.
“I can’t have it too hot,” she explained. “Breeds germs. I only use it in summer and it’s still run by my oil tank.”
It was late by the time they arrived, and after nearly no rest the night before, they were all ready to get to sleep.
Elijah insisted on sleeping downstairs on the couch, so Abigail showed Hannah to the spare bedroom, then brought her a clean towel and an extra blanket. Then she took a seat on the bed and smiled.
“You still love him, don’t you?”
Heat rushed to Hannah’s face. “Who do you speak of? Peter?”
“No. Of course you loved Peter, but he’s gone with God now. I mean Elijah. You still love him. I can see it when you are together. You love him. Just as much as you did when you were young.”
Hannah pressed her lips together and did not speak. To deny her statement would be a lie. To admit to it could be troublesome and unwise.
Abigail waited a moment. Then she stood and walked near to her. “You don’t have to answer, Hannah. I see it in your face. What I really want to know is what you plan to do about it.”
“To do?” Hannah tried to hide her face. She pretended to wipe it with the towel. “There is nothing to do. Your brother is part of a world that I care not to join. And today I saw what good he does.” She dropped the towel and looked at her friend. “It is what he always wanted… I will admit that he is a good man, bound to the church or not. But he will be gone in another day. And I will go home. Where I belong.”
“You admit nothing, Hannah.” She turned toward the door. “God is giving you a second chance to be happy. But you and my brother are too proud to see it.”
“Too proud?” Hannah stepped after her. “How am I proud by choosing the Plain life? It’s Elijah who…”
“It’s Elijah who what?” Abigail asked.
“He will never forgive me for choosing Peter.”
Abigail came back to stand next to her. She took one of her hands in her own. “Why did you choose Peter?”
“I loved him.”
“You loved my brother. There was a reason. Was it for Jessica? To be her mother? I often wondered that you and Peter were never with child.”
> Hannah closed her eyes. She felt the tears coming. Your brother wanted a family. He wanted to be a police officer. I could not give him those things. Hannah wanted to say it, but she could not. She could not open her heart again. “It does not matter the reason. I hurt your brother and damaged what there was between us. What you see now is the pain I put there. Not love.”
“Love can heal any hurt. Talk to him,” Abigail said. “He has never loved another girl, Hannah. Only you.”
Abigail left the room, but her words stayed and pressed on Hannah’s heart. Exhausted and drained in every way, she lay on the bed and wept.
* * *
Elijah tossed and turned on Abigail’s couch, unable to fall asleep despite his exhaustion. His aching skull was partly to blame, but it was more his racing mind that kept him awake—his thoughts jumping between the strange complications of Jessica’s death, his mixed-up feelings about coming home and his even more complicated relationship with Hannah.
It wasn’t just how he felt about her. He knew he loved her. He’d always loved her. She’d chosen someone else and he still loved her. None of that had changed. He had gone his own way and he knew he had been an instrument of God working as a police officer. So why did he feel called to come home now?
Was it for Hannah? Was it because he sought his father’s approval so desperately?
It was both of those things and yet it somehow seemed like more than that. He half laughed to himself. His Mamm would have said it was further proof of his contrary nature, that he had dreaded coming home again, but now that he was there he wasn’t sure he wanted to leave.
He missed the simple life. He missed his family. He missed that easy connection to his Father above. It was as if in coming home he’d come to a deeper understanding and need for all that he had once walked away from.
But how? How could he come back? His father did not accept him. Hannah would marry Thomas come November. That he could not bear to see. And God had called him to do police work.
He tossed again over the hard couch. Why did he feel so conflicted? God did not make mistakes. Elijah shook away the thoughts. He needed sleep and a clear head if he were going to figure this case out. There was still so much to work out and tomorrow, per his Dat’s decree, was his final day. He feared it would not be enough time and that he’d say goodbye to Hannah without giving her the peace of mind she so desperately needed.
A shadow fell over the room. Elijah welcomed the cloud. It would be much easier to sleep without so much moonlight, glaring in through the large windows.
He rolled onto his side and started to close his eyes. The shadow flickered. It grew larger. It went to the right. Then to the left.
That is no cloud. Someone is on the porch.
Without making a sound, Elijah slipped from the couch and moved away from the couch and window. The shadow formed once again on the wall across from him. Yep. He’d been right. That was not a cloud. It was a person, peering into the window—another uninvited guest, he thought, remembering the last two evenings.
Well, this time, Elijah was going to do the surprising and not the other way around. He slid away from the living room and moved quietly toward the back door of his sister’s house.
SIXTEEN
Hannah awoke with a start. Heart racing, she sat upright in the bed, soaked in a sticky sweat. She’d fallen asleep over the bedsheets, fully dressed. Her cheeks were moist from half-dried tears. Her arms asleep from resting at strange angles. She scooted to the edge of the bed, trying to orient herself to the strange surroundings.
Abigail Miller’s house. The shelves over the desk were heavy with books on homeopathic medicine and midwife practices. For the last five years, Abigail had helped to deliver the babies of almost every young Amish wife in Willow Trace and the surrounding towns. All of the young married women except for her. And that was the very reason she had been crying. Jessica was the only child she’d ever had—and now not only was Jessica gone, but the memory of her had been tainted by all the dreadful things Hannah had seen.
Hannah walked to the bathroom and washed her face. How had she gotten to be in this nightmare? It was all so confusing, so frightening, so…she didn’t know what. She didn’t know what to feel or how to feel it. She didn’t know what to believe anymore. She thought of Abigail’s encouraging her to talk to Elijah about her feelings. But hadn’t she tried that last night in the buggy on the way back from the gathering? He had not responded. In fact, he had changed the subject and even seemed angry with her.
Not that any of it mattered. He was leaving. Tomorrow.
Hannah sighed away the sad thought, only to have it replaced with the other confusion in her head—that of this business with Jessica. Despite all the horrors she had seen that day, she could not bring herself to believe that Jessica would steal and lie and bring such shame to herself and all that she had professed to believe. It could not be possible. There had to be another reason Jessica was connected to all of this. Something that they were missing.
In her mind, she passed over her conversations with Brittney and Daniel. She suspected that both kids had lied at some point in their story. They were afraid, and rightfully so. But surely some of what they had told was truth. How did it all piece together?
Hannah couldn’t help worrying about them both. Watching Brittney be dragged away had been terrifying. Neither she nor her father had been found.
At least, Elijah had “put a car on” Daniel, as he had phrased it, meaning he had police friends keeping an eye on the boy. Elijah had explained that not only would they keep him safe, but following Daniel might also lead them to the people tied to Jessica’s murder.
How she both hoped for and feared the truth about her daughter. So many horrible things had been said about her. She had been to such a terrible place. Been so secretive and almost cruel to Daniel.
Only one thing gave Hannah a glimmer of hope, and that was Brittney. Brittney, who had been so worried that she would get Jessica in trouble. She’d sounded cognizant of the Amish ways. And she had stopped her stepfather when the man had had a gun to Hannah’s head. Traded places with her. Maybe Brittney was not so bad as Daniel had made her sound.
Hannah also remembered a few other things that Daniel had said. First, that Jessica had carried a large bag with her. What large things would she be carrying? None of her clothing was missing. He’d also recounted that when he stopped her at the apartments, Jessica had claimed she was doing something good. For him to go home and that she would explain it later.
If Jessica were going to explain it later to Daniel, then she wasn’t planning to run away. But doing something good? It was hard to believe there was any good to be done in that horrible place…unless…
Hannah straightened herself and headed out to wake Elijah. Finally she had an idea about Jessica that made sense to her. She hadn’t figured all of the pieces out, but this part, this part about Jessica, this she felt certain of. She had to tell Elijah as soon as possible.
Passing through the small hallway into the living room, she found that the couch was empty. Hannah walked through the kitchen and then passed by the clinic.
“Elijah?”
There was no answer. Hannah shuddered. There was no chance Elijah had left them alone. Not after getting so cross with Thomas for having done that very thing.
Hannah turned back toward the bedrooms. She would wake Abigail. But something in the window caught her eye before she reached the hallway.
Hannah froze as fear prickled through her limbs. Had Jackson found them? She could still feel his massive fingers yanking at her head. Had he already gotten to Elijah? Hannah didn’t know whether to run or scream or both.
She watched as the dark figure melted back into the night without a sound. Then she sprinted back to Abigail’s room. She wasn’t going to sit there like an easy target. Not tonight. N
ot again.
“Abigail, wake up. Elijah is gone and I saw someone looking in the windows.”
“What?” Abigail sat up. “Hannah? Are you okay?”
“Wake up. Something is happening.” Hannah repeated the situation. “I think they found us.”
Abigail looked pensive for a second. Then she got up and headed to her own window to peer out. “Yes. Could be so,” she said. “Or it could be a patient?”
“But where is your brother? He wouldn’t have left us without saying so.”
“Probably so. We should call the police.”
“You have a phone?”
“Only for work. I have to know when a patient is going into labor, you know.” Abigail headed for the hallway. “Come. It’s in the kitchen.”
A light knock sounded at the door.
Abigail and Hannah looked at each other. Hannah could feel her heart pounding in her chest. But Abigail relaxed some and headed to the door.
“What are you doing?”
“Intruders don’t knock.” Abigail turned to the door and called out. “Who is it?”
“Please, let me in. Hurry. Please.” The voice was weak and soft like that of a child.
Abigail looked back one more time at Hannah and then headed on to the door. Heaven help them if this were a trick. But they could hardly ignore the desperation in the voice behind the door. Still, where was Elijah? She wished Elijah were there.
“Do I know you?” Abigail asked with a shrug.
“It’s Brittney. Brittney Baker. I know it’s late. I’m sorry. I didn’t know where else to go. You said I could come. Please let me in.”
Abigail unlocked the front door. Hannah hit the light switch. Brittney hobbled into the house. She was cut, bruised, bleeding.
Elijah came up behind the porch behind her. He was putting his gun away. “I nearly took you out, young lady. You shouldn’t go around peeking into the windows like you did. Next time try the front door first.”
Plain Secrets Page 14