I knew I was getting it right when Haley spread her legs, turned her face into mine, whimpered against my lips. I slipped one finger inside her, testing the waters, so to speak, before inserting another, breathing kisses onto her heaving chest as she responded to my beckoning by canting her hips forward.
“Is it good, sweetheart?”
“Yeah.”
“Is this how you like it?”
She tried to respond in the affirmative at least, I assumed her long, drawn-out moan was in the affirmative. I didn’t stop until she was slicked with her own arousal, until my fingers seemed ready to drip with it.
“I want you now,” she managed to say, and that was my permission to take my cock in my hand and guide it to her, easing just the tip in until she pleaded with me for the rest of it. It was more than she bargained for. That much was evident from the sharp gasp, the way her eyes flew open to stare at me.
“Are you okay?” I asked, cautious, scared of hurting her, terrified that I already had.
She surprised me by laughing. “Okay? Chuck, I’m better than okay. Now are we going to do this for real, or are you going to just keep teasing me?”
Well. With that go ahead, I withdrew my length from her body almost completely before sending it home again, drawing out that same tantalizing gasp. So it wasn’t a gasp of pain. It was a gasp of exquisite pleasure, the kind that I knew I was capable of giving her. From there, it was a simple thing to strike up a rhythm Haley responded to, to keep her climbing higher and higher until she came tumbling back down, howling, her legs wrapped around my waist, squeezing, her inner muscles pulling me out of my own body, making me see stars, not be sure what filth or stupidity was pouring out of my mouth as I emptied myself out completely.
I didn’t come back to myself immediately. It was a strange thing, something I’d never experienced, like being outside of existence, somewhere beautiful, where nothing bad could ever happen again. Slowly, though, I seeped back into reality, the sound of my breathing harsh to my ears, the darkness of the room cradling me like a blanket. Haley was turned away from me, folded in on herself, passed out cold, her back rising and falling with each breath she took.
I threaded my fingers through her hair, which was as soft and fine as corn silk. I was ultra aware of just how rough my hands were in that moment, of the differences between Haley and me. My hands were meant to be tough, to pry open the hoods of machines and figure out what made them tick underneath. I was used to scraping my knuckles against harder things than flesh, the black of oil and grease lining my fingernails, rubbed raw with soap every day just so I could reemerge into society. And yet here, even with clean hands, I still wasn’t quite sure I belonged.
Until Haley heaved a sigh, rolled over, and pressed her face into my bare chest, her arms winding around my middle, latching onto me before falling back asleep.
In that moment, then, I really did belong. I reveled in it, my hands smoothing down her back, until I joined her in slumber.
Chapter 6
I didn’t want to label whatever was happening between Haley and me as a distraction, but in its most basic sense, that was exactly what it wasa beautiful distraction. With each day that passed, each week marching forward, away from the anniversary of my sister’s death, I felt better, and I knew it wasn’t time that helped it was Haley. I loved spending time with her, wherever we happened to be. I liked watching her work her magic at the bar, throwing her head back and laughing at the patrons who tried their best to flirt with her, giving a little wink that was only meant for me across the bar as she balanced a tray of cocktails for another table.
She even joined me ever so often at the shop, which was a delight.
“Your hands are so dirty,” she said, watching me tinker with an engine I was rebuilding. “I’ve never seen them that dirty.”
“This is about average,” I said, working a wrench. “Nothing, really.”
“How do you get clean at the end of the day?”
“Lots of scrubbing.” I paused to flash a smile at her. “Same as you, I’m guessing, when you and Ace have to deep clean the bar before inspections.”
“Yeah, but my hands get so dry from all that product. I have to moisturize like a fiend. Sometimes, I cut some of my aloe vera plants and make a mask for my hands.”
“Does that work?”
“What do you think?”
I laughed as she passed her hands over my sweaty face, suggestive, full of promises. They were soft, and I managed to kiss a few fingers before she drew back.
“I think they are very well taken care of,” I said. “I feel sorry for you.”
“Why in the world would you feel sorry for me?”
“You have to deal with my terrible hands.”
She spluttered for a few moments before settling on something to say. “Your hands are the very opposite of terrible, Chuck. You make magic happen with those hands.”
“With my mechanic work, you mean?” I asked, smirking.
She had a leer of her own to match my smirk. “You know damn well that’s not what I meant. Don’t you dare speak ill of those hands in my presence again. You have the magic touch.”
I knew she was talking about the past few times we’d had sex. I’d been using my fingers to make sure she was readyI couldn’t bear the thought of hurting her because I was too eager to properly prepare her body for me and I’d inadvertently made her come just as a part of foreplay. She had nearly cried with laughter as I apologized, sure that I’d ruined the experience for her by the premature climax. I hadn’t been reassured until she’d come again and again during sex, and from then on, I made it my mission to watch her come apart as many times as I could give it to her, as many times as she could handle it.
“Want to help me change the oil in your SUV?” I asked her, licking my lips, aware of how dry my mouth was, just thinking about being with her.
“You really think I could learn to do something like that?” She frowned. “I still don’t know what all of the buttons mean around my steering wheel.”
I laughed. “Anyone can learn. Come on. You’ll be a good student. I can tell.”
Could I really be held responsible for kissing her long and languidly beneath her car, sheltered from prying eyes, the darkness just for us? She hadn’t even minded the way I’d stained her clothes, pawing at her like something out of control, laughing out the suspicious patches over her breasts, the crotch of her shorts.
“This outfit will be used for all future oil changes,” she said, both of us rolling out from under the SUV, breathless. “How often do I need to change my oil?”
“Every couple of months or so, depending on how much you drive it,” I said, looking around, trying to figure out if anyone had heard us under there. It hadn’t been as discreet as I preferred, but there was something about fooling around out in the open that was a huge turn-on.
“Every couple of months. Okay.” Haley seemed to think for a moment, leaving an adorable grease streak on her face when she rubbed her chin with her fingers. She’d covered my own fingers with that hand, urging them to work harder against the denim keeping me from her bare skin. I’d been able to manage to help her rub one out right under her vehicle, right under the noses of everyone at the shop, and I’d done it while keeping a running commentary of how to change the oil in her SUV. It had been a mechanic’s wet dream.
“What if I wanted to change the oil again?” Haley bit her lip, her green eyes twinkling with mischief.
“Already?” I asked, surprised. “It hasn’t been… We, uh, just did.”
“I think maybe we need to change your oil.” She stared meaningfully at my pants, and I cupped my hands in front of what was probably an enormously obvious erection.
“I think we, uh, could probably talk more about changing oil in my office. In the garage. It’s not much, but it’s private. A good place to discuss all things oil-related.”
And we’d proceeded to have wild sex over a stack of purchase o
rders, pens tumbling to the floor, Haley so wet from before that I’d been able to slide right in. She drove me crazy in all the right ways.
I felt so happy, so close to Haley, that even the Horizon guys felt like they had to comment. Of course, they weren’t as oblivious as they seemed, and they had always consumed gossip like real sustenance.
“I have to put my foot down,” I confessed one night in the club booth, picking anxiously at the label wrapped around my beer bottle. “You can’t ask me to dish about Haley. It’s not right.”
“We’re not asking you to dish,” Sloan protested. “All I said was that the two of you made a handsome couple. You look good together. It looks like you make each other happy.”
“I bet the sex is dynamite,” Ace commented, relaxing in the booth. It was his day off, and Brody was bartending.
“This is exactly the kind of thing I’m not willing to talk about with you all,” I said, giving Ace a meaningful glare as he laughed.
“And that is exactly the thing we’re not going to ask you,” Jack said, whacking Ace on the back of his head and making him dribble beer down his chin.
“Can’t blame a guy for being curious,” Ace said, coughing.
“Let’s make it official club business, then, not to quiz Chuck about Haley,” Jack said. “Do I have a second?”
“I second,” I said. Ace groaned good-naturedly.
“All in favor?” Jack raised his eyebrows. “Aye.”
“Aye.”
“Aye.” Sloan clinked his bottle against mine in solidarity.
“Aye,” Ace said, rolling his eyes.
“Are we voting on something?” Brody called from across the bar. “I want to vote! What’s the popular vote? Aye? I vote nay!”
I rolled my eyes. “We’re voting about whether any of you all are allowed to ask about my relationship.”
He blanched. “I don’t want to hear about your relationship with my employee.”
“Then vote ‘aye,’” I recommended.
“But but doesn’t ‘aye’ mean that I want to hear about it? Nay!”
“No, ‘aye’ means we’re not allowed to ask about it,” Jack clarified.
“Aye, then,” Brody said, shaking his head. “Appalling that we even have to vote on it.”
“Vote on what?” Haley asked, coming out from the store room armed with a couple of fresh cases of beer.
“You really, really, don’t want to know,” Brody assured her, taking the beer from her.
She turned to me, her eyebrows raised in a question.
“He’s right,” I added. “You don’t.”
“You guys are really weird sometimes,” she said, walking over to greet a group of people who had just settled in at a table.
But Haley had always gotten along with the guys, even from the very beginning. It’s why Brody had given her the jobbecause she’d been so good at disarming people, so instantly charming, that he knew she was going to do well in the bar, where regulars were lovable but often rowdy. Some of the time, us Horizon guys were the wildest of the bunch, but Haley always just rolled with it. It was rare, I believed, to have a girlfriendbecause I definitely considered her to be my girlfriend who got along with her boyfriend’s best friends just as well as he did. It just added a fun dimension to everything.
Everything was perfect especially the dynamite sex none of the guys were allowed to ask me about. Every time I was with Haley it was good. There was never a dull moment in bed, never a moment when we didn’t anticipate what the other wanted or needed or would like to try out. I was having the best sex of my life with her, and I wouldn’t change anything for the world.
It didn’t even worry me that maybe I loved her a little too much.
So there it was. I was in love with Haley. I was in love with her. I hadn’t felt like this toward anyone in my entire life, and at the heart of that was painI had to wonder what Chelsea would’ve thought of Haley, and that hurt. It hurt that I had found someone I loved, and I couldn’t share it with my twin sister, who had been my closest friend. As much as I never approved of Chelsea’s various boyfriends, she had been equally unimpressed with the women I brought around though those incidents were few and far between. I had a feeling, though, that my sister would’ve liked Haley. I think she would’ve liked Haley a lot. I could imagine her laughter, talking to Haley, getting to know her, and goddammit, it hurt to remember that it was never, ever going to happen.
“Chuck, what’s wrong?”
I propped myself up on my elbow to look down at Haley. God, she was beautiful. We’d just finished a marathon session of sex, and the afternoon sun slanted through the window shades, bathing her in a golden light. She didn’t so much as sweat as she gleamed, resplendent in afterglow.
Yeah, I had it pretty bad.
“Not a thing in the world,” I promised her, willing it to be true. I kissed her. “Not a damn thing.”
“You just look like you have something on your mind.”
“Sure, there’s always something going on in here,” I said, tapping my temple. “It would be sad if there wasn’t.”
“Good thoughts, then, I hope?” She captured my hand in hers and raised my fingers to her lips, kissing them softly.
“Good thoughts, yeah. Really good thoughts.”
Her hand closed over mine. “Are you sure? Because the expression on your face doesn’t lead me to believe that.”
“Are you saying I have an ugly face?” A deflection. I didn’t want to talk about this. I wasn’t ready to talk about this. This wasn’t something that would benefit our relationship at all. There was no way I wanted to tell Haley about my sister.
“I’m saying that you can talk to me about things,” she said. “I recognize that we haven’t really done a lot of talking.”
“What do you mean?” I blinked at her. “We talk all the time.”
“Yeah, and I love talking to you.” She threaded each of her fingers through my own, carefully, like she was afraid I might break. “What I mean is that we haven’t had any super serious conversations.”
“I have to disagree,” I said, still trying to use humor to deflect this line of questioning. “Changing your oil is a very serious subject.”
“I seem to remember us fooling around under my SUV,” she said, laughing. “Neither of us took that very seriously.”
“I take you seriously.”
“Is that a fact?”
“Uh-huh.”
I leaned toward her and kissed her, smoothing my hand down the line of her waist, over her hip and she stopped the movement with her other hand.
“Chuck, wait.”
I swallowed. “You don’t want to do this right now?”
She laughed again. “Of course I’d do this again right now. But just so you know, I’ve come more times than I can count. I’m a little sore”
“Jesus, Haley, I’m sorry. You have to tell me these things. I’m sorry.”
“Enough,” she said, her voice light. “It’s the good kind of sore. The happy kind. I’d do it again just because I know you’d make me feel good.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You’re not going to hurt me.” She kissed me gently, on the nose. “I know that you wouldn’t.”
“You sound really sure of yourself.” It was something of a wonder to me, how she could be so certain.
“Chuck, you beat the shit out of a stranger just because he got a little rough with me. I feel pretty secure in the knowledge that you have my best interests in mind.”
“Well, I do.” I smiled at her. “I care about you, Haley.”
“I care about you, too,” she said, flicking my nose softly. “And I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything that’s on your mind. The good and the bad.”
My caring for Haley went a lot deeper than just a flippant admission. She didn’t know what she was getting into with this, and maybe she should.
“I want to be honest with you, if w
e’re really going to be together,” I said. “Are you…are you serious about this?”
“Chuck, I like you a lot,” she said, tracing her fingers down my arm. “We wouldn’t be doing this if I wasn’t.”
“My feelings for you…they’re really strong, Haley,” I said. “I feel like you need to know some things about me, going forward, but I don’t want to burden you if this is just something casual for you.”
“First of all, I need you to know that you can talk to me no matter what we’re doing,” she said, sitting up a little and drawing the sheet to her chest. “Do you understand me? No matter what happens between us, we’ll always be friends, right?”
I swallowed. “Are you…is this you putting me in the friend zone?”
“Chuck. We’re naked in bed together, talking about our feelings. This is definitely not the friend zone.”
The tension that had been bunching in my shoulders eased a little, and I laughed.
“Okay. That’s good. Okay.”
“Tell me what’s on your mind,” Haley said. “Please. I’m here for you, whatever it is.”
“What if I’m about to put you in the friend zone?” I asked, one last, pathetic attempt to steer her away from what I was gearing up to reveal.
“I highly doubt that, but I support you in whatever you want to do,” she said, putting her nose in the air.
“Well, I guess I should start by saying that the reason I beat up that guy who disrespected you at the bar is because I have a personal issue with that kind of behavior.”
Haley stared at me for a second before cracking up. “Chuck, if the thing you’re trying to tell me is that you used to be a cop, you don’t need to bother. It’s not like it’s a secret or anything. I already know. I think it’s hot. I don’t know why you’re not a cop anymore, but you’re a hell of a mechanic, and I know that makes you happy.”
I smiled, pushed some of that silken hair behind her ear. “The personal issue I’m referring to is the case of my twin sister.”
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