“It’s not …”
“It is the same,” I said, enunciating carefully. “You don’t think I’m capable of that kind of love? Sweetheart, I was shocked because all of this exploded like a bombshell. But it didn’t make me love you any less. It just helped me get to know you better.”
She huffed out a laugh that ended more like a sob. “That’s a pretty generous way of seeing things.”
“It’s the only way things are,” I told her. “You’re not any different because of what happened, what we all found out today. Not to me.”
“I don’t know if I can do it, Chuck. I don’t know if I can face everyone, knowing that they know. I don’t know if I can still be with you, as sweet as you’re being. As much as I love you. I hate that you know.”
“I hate that it happened to you,” I said. “I hate that people think it’s acceptable to do that to other human beings. And I hate that they get away with it. But I love you, Haley.”
“I love you, too.”
“Well, then?”
“Well, what?”
I unfolded her hands, kissed each of the palms. “I don’t see why we can’t just take the wait-and-see approach.”
“Wait and see?”
“Do you want me to take you home right now?”
“No. I want to stay here with you. I don’t want to be alone.”
“And how do you think you’ll feel, say, tomorrow?”
“The same.” She frowned to herself. “Probably.”
“Let’s just hold off on making any rash decisions for now,” I said. “I love you. We have a good thing going. Don’t let Jared ruin a single additional moment of your life, do you hear me?”
“I hear you.”
I kissed her on her lips again, an exclamation point to everything I felt.
It didn’t all get better all at once. You could tell a person you loved them over and over again, but it wasn’t a magical spell. You got over traumatic things with a lot of love, sure, but with patience, too, and hard work. And time. Time was the key ingredient.
Time for Haley to decompress. To process. To remember, and to forget. For things to become a little more bearable. To let the wheels of justice crank against her husband. To celebrate the fact that he was now her ex.
To return to work at the bar and find that everyone was treating her normally, teasing her and laughing with her and proving to her that nothing had changed, that she was still a beloved member of the Horizon family, even if she wasn’t an official part of the MC.
I bore witness to all of it, the passage of time, the slow seepage of spring into early summer, comforting her when she needed it, stepping back when she needed that, too. I just wanted to be there for her in the same way the rest of the guys had been there for me, when I needed someone stronger to lean on. Through it all, I just kept loving her. That was all there was to it. I kept loving her and she kept loving me, and that could get anyone through just about anything.
And late one night, at the Horizon MC Bar, when I looked over at her, across the room, the tray of drinks held high as she wove her way around the tables, never taking her eyes off me, her lips spreading into a slow smile, I knew that everything had been worth it.
I knew she was the one, and the way she was looking at me, I was betting she was feeling something close to the swell of emotion in my own heart.
Epilogue
There was something about summer that got under my skin.
I believed that a lot of it had to do with the heat. Even in New Mexico, which had its fair share of snow and cold winter temperatures, it got to be sweltering in the summer. A dry desert heat that whipped through Rio Seco with no regard for anything. The way the wind could fling sand through the air and clog it up reminded me too much of other desert climates I had experienced, of the bad things that had happened there. Maybe I shouldn’t have come back to New Mexico. I could’ve ended up anywhere else, continued my tour of duty, even, or just traveled like I always said I was going to after graduation. Instead, I kept finding myself back in the desert, returning to my memories time and time again, trapped in them, at times.
Maybe I should’ve looked into going upstate during the summers. Taken refuge in the mountains. Invested in some kind of summer retreat a cabin in the woods, perhaps, or a little palapa cozied up right to a shoreline of some remote island, getting as far away as I could from the summer heat of the desert.
Of course, my friends were the ones who kept me in Rio Seco, in the desert during whatever season. I’d made a home here, made a life, and it didn’t make sense to me to just pick up and leave it. To leave them. But maybe that was my greatest fault. I was terribly loyal, so loyal that I would sacrifice my own health and happiness to ensure that the ones I loved were okay. The guys of Horizon MC weren’t needy; but unless they were all willing to uproot themselves and move somewhere away from the perpetual desert, I wasn’t about to. They meant too much to me.
I picked at my jeans irritably, sweating, wishing I could do my line of work in, oh, I didn’t know, a speedo, maybe, when a selection of brightly colored wires dropped out of the hem, next to my steel-toed boots.
“Jesus,” I muttered. How long had they been in there, irritating my skin? That was one setback of being an electrician. I still managed to get incredibly dirty while doing my job, attracting all kinds of bits and pieces and debris. It was better than being trapped inside at a desk all day; that was for sure. And I could keep on using the same skills I’d learned in the military, ensuring that the time I’d spent in service of the United States didn’t go in vain.
I knew a lot of people who’d come back from their tours of duty broken men, unable to figure out how to function in civilian life again. And I was afraid Jack was teetering on that precipice, in danger of becoming just another statistic in the ranks of the men who made it back from war but never actually made it back.
The ones most people, politicians included, didn’t like to mention.
I was well adjusted. Right? I had a steady job, a group of friends, a social life, a decent love life, if we were counting number of engagements and not the length of the engagements. There wasn’t any reason for me to be unhappy.
Except for summers in Rio Seco.
“How’s it going, Sloan?”
I straightened up and turned around in time for Chuck to envelop me in a huge bear hug. He was just as sticky and sweaty as I was, but that was because he was a big guy, and it was hot today, particularly in the late afternoon.
“Ugh, get off,” I grumbled, squirming out of his grasp. “You just did that because you’re sweaty.”
“You got that right, man,” he said. “It is a scorcher.”
“I heard the forecast on the radio on the way over this morning,” I said, wiping sweat out of my eyes. “Everyone seems to think we’re going to break some records for high temperatures this week.”
“Is that a fact?”
“It is. Also, who gives a shit? I could be a weatherman. Forecast: It’s hot as balls. Find some air conditioning. Or a cold beer. Good luck, fellow citizens.”
Chuck laughed. “Speaking of air conditioning and cold beer…”
“Of course I’m coming to the bar tonight,” I assured him. “I’d be there right now if I wasn’t working on wiring this stupid house for you.”
“This stupid house thanks you,” Haley said, grinning, resplendent in jean shorts and a tank top. That’s what I should wear on a work site in the summer. Jean shorts. Who cared if I would scrape the shit out of my knees and bloody my shins on scraps of wood and lost nails and the like? At least I’d stay as cool as Haley looked. She was so unbothered by the heat that she looped her arm around Chuck’s waistit barely fit and kissed his cheek.
“So you guys are really moving in together, huh?” I asked, just to make some conversation. I was happy for Chuck and Haley ending up together, but it didn’t change the fact that I think that all of us guys in the club had crushed on Haley at one point or another.
“That’s the plan,” she said, grinning up at Chuck, and the sight of the two of them together was enough to rot my teeth out.
“If a certain electrician would get the lead out of his ass, that is,” Chuck said, patting me on the shoulder.
“I’m moving just as fast as this heat will let me,” I informed him. “And I’m doing this as a favor for you. You’re getting my expertise pro bono.”
“He fixes your bike any time you ask him to,” Haley remarked lightly, raising her eyebrows at me. “Pro bono.”
“Club business,” I said, waving her away.
“You can’t just dismiss me like that,” she spluttered, outraged. “You’re in my house.”
“Chuck’s house, too,” I said.
“You have to listen to the lady of the house, Sloan,” Chuck said. “Rule number one.”
I grumbled, surveying my work. “I’m at a stopping point, here. You all want to head over to the bar?”
“Sure, but we have a surprise for you,” Haley said, grinning at Chuck.
“You’re pregnant!” I blurted out. “Right? Are you guys pregnant?”
“What?” Chuck looked like I’d punched him right in the groin. “What the hell are you talking about? No, we’re not pregnant. What are you on?”
“Sorry,” I muttered. “It would’ve been good news, if that was the news. The surprise, I mean.”
Haley put her hands on her hips. “Sloan, if you assholes have a bet going on about when or if Chuck and I are going to get pregnant, you will have no part in the surprise, I swear to God. Not a single member of Horizon MC will be able to enjoy it. Do you understand me?”
“I understand, absolutely,” I said, nodding emphatically. “But let’s say, as a purely hypothetical thing, that some real jerk-off named Brody might have organized a modest betting pool that one or more of the guys might have bought into.”
“End it,” she said, poking me in the chest with a red-painted fingernail. “I mean it. I’m not joking around, here.”
Chuck heaved a sigh. “Do you think Jack would be amenable to setting up a club vote against making any bets on my relationship with Haley?”
I snorted at him. “Seriously? You’re in the engagement bet for Ace and Katie. And the bet that Brody will remain celibate for the rest of his life.”
Haley covered her face with her hands, and Chuck shot me a look. “Could you not?”
“I don’t want to miss out on the surprise,” I whined. “Please? I won’t tell you about any of the bets we have going for the two of you again.” Haley’s glare seared my face. “I mean, I’ll encourage everyone to back out of the bets that exist, and have a very stern talk with them to dissuade them from doing such foolishness in the future. Happy?”
“We’re not even talking about having babies together,” she muttered. “All we’re doing is building a house together. That’s our baby together.”
“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry that all my friends are idiots,” Chuck told her.
“They’re my friends, too,” she said. “I should’ve realized.”
“The surprise?” I prompted them gently. “I would be really happy if it was a cold beer right now that one of you produced out of thin air.”
“Come on, lock this place down if you’re done,” Chuck said. “Let’s at least get on the road and generate some wind. It’s hot and stale in here.”
“Please tell me the surprise. I’ll be good. I swear. No more betting. No more complaining about wiring this place.”
Haley leaned close to me, her face serious, before breaking out into a grin. “It’s a pool. We’re having a pool.”
I jumped up and down in excitement before reclaiming some of my dignity. “I wish it was already installed. It is so hot.”
“You and me both,” she assured me. “But it should be functional by the end of the summer. Think of the epic parties we’re going to have with everyone. The barbecues. Getting out of the blistering heat.”
“This is much better news than a baby,” I said. “Definitely. Good choice on having a pool instead of a kid.”
Chuck just shook his head at me as I locked the door and tossed him the key.
“This place will be ready to move in before we know it,” he told Haley, securing the strap of her helmet beneath her chin even though I was pretty sure she was more than capable of doing it herself. It was a gesture that struck me as endearing.
“I know. I can’t wait.” She surveyed the outside of the house, which was shaping up nicely fresh stucco and a tile roof, complementing the color palette and atmosphere of the surrounding desert. “I just can’t believe it’s going up so fast. I feel like it was just yesterday that we were pouring the foundation.”
“You sure you still want to go through with it?” Chuck asked her, tucking her blond hair behind her ears. “You can always back out.”
“You’d better not back out,” I advised her. “That pool is really important for my morale.”
“Don’t worry, Sloan,” she said, rolling her eyes at Chuck. “I’m not even a little bit interested in backing out. Maybe Chuck is, though, since he keeps bringing it up.”
“Of course he keeps bringing it up,” I said, grinning as he spluttered. “You’re way out of his league, Haley. He’s having trouble believing that you’re really agreeing to move in with him.”
She and I looked to Chuck, anticipating a rebuttal or, at the very least, a protest, but he just shrugged.
“Sloan’s right. Some days, I wake up and I don’t believe that we’re actually together. I think I’ve just been in a dream this whole time, and I’ve finally woken back up to my sad, lonesome reality.”
Haley clucked her tongue at him. “Cheesy, pathetic bastard.” The insults sounded almost affectionate. I didn’t know, though. Maybe they got off on calling each other mean names.
“Well, this hot, sweaty bastard is going to get a move on toward the bar,” I announced, striding past the happy couple. Chuck was stroking Haley’s cheek, and there was only so much sap that a single guy like myself could stand. “I’ll see you all later.”
“We’re coming,” Chuck said quickly.
“No, no, take your time,” I said. “I figured you all would want to stick around. You know. Christen the house.”
“I’m going to tell Jack you’re in violation of club rules,” Chuck warned me.
“Besides, we’ve already christened it.” Haley leered at Chuck and then laughed at whatever expression I had plastered on my face. “Don’t look at me like that. It was nice, the wind blowing through the frames. Now that the drywall’s up and it’s summer, it’s just too stuffy in there for anything until we get the air conditioning installed.”
“Or the pool,” I added helpfully, then squeezed my eyes shut. “Dammit. Sorry. Forget I said anything.”
“It’s our pool, Sloan,” Chuck said. “Us having sex in it is a foregone conclusion, at this point.”
“Okay, I was probably asking for that,” I said. “I’m leaving now. I don’t care if you all are, too. I’ll see you at the bar.”
Those two were so in love it was ridiculous. I was seriously considering making a bet with the rest of the guys about when they were going to get married. Maybe they’d do it before Ace and Katie so much as got engaged. Pool privileges be damned that might be a good bet to get in on.
The wind dried my sweaty hair on the sun-drenched ride back into town, to the bar, but the moment I parked the bike and swung my leg over the seat, I broke out into a sweat again. There was just no escaping the heat if you were outside. Not if the sun was still above the horizon.
I was about to stroll into the barand maybe die of pleasure in the sweet, sweet air conditioning when I noticed a group of young people congregating on the sidewalk in front of another historical building. More and more of the dilapidated structures were getting fixed up, which was what Jack’s goals were for his Rio Seco revitalization master plan. I wondered what had popped up in this b
uilding, and why there were so many people outside of it.
“Sloan, wait a second.” Chuck and Haley had arrived, and she shot him a worried look before ducking inside the bar. “Don’t you want a drink?”
“Yeah, sure, but I was just going to check out the party down here.” I gave him a crooked grin. “Make sure it’s not better than ours.”
“Believe me. It’s not.” He stood in front of me in a purposeful way, trying, it seemed, to block my view of the people down the street.
My grin faded. “How do you know?”
“Jack called me. Told me it was a bunch of kids protesting.”
I craned my neck to try and see around them. “What are they protesting?”
But as I said that, someone started a chant, and the rest of the protesters took it up. I blinked, not sure I could trust my ears. Was this really happening?
“Why the hell are they protesting the military?” I demanded.
“There was something on the news today about increasing the U.S. military’s presence in a war zone,” Chuck said, his voice placating. “That’s probably why.”
“It’s not the military’s fault if they’re ordered somewhere,” I said. “If they want to protest something, they should protest the Presidency. Congress. The military just does what its told. The military follows orders.”
“Don’t let it bother you,” he urged. “Just come get a drink with me. Everyone’s waiting for us.”
The chants were pretty inflammatory, even by my own standards. “Do they even understand what they’re protesting?” I muttered.
“Hey, man, better just to let it go,” Chuck said, concern painting his features. “Come on. Let’s go inside.”
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