“Jack, I came here because you asked me to,” Cheyenne said, taking my hand. “I care about you no matter what. I always have, and I always will. I know things are strange and a little difficult right now, and that’s just on my end. But I’ll always be there for you. And one other thing.”
“What’s that?”
She leered at me. “I happen to think that any additional sex that might happen between the two of us would be a bonus.” The leer transformed into a grin and a wink of one of those otherworldly gray eyes. “We’re pretty good together, right?”
“I’d definitely have to agree with that,” I said.
“Well, then?”
“Well, then, what?”
“How about we christen my stay at your place? If it’s not too forward of me to ask.”
“You should never be afraid to ask something like that. My answer is always yes, if that’ll save you some time and heartache.”
Cheyenne laughed, then gasped out a small shriek as I lifted her up, her legs winding around my waist, and carried her to the bed. Together, we landed with a bounce, and started celebrating this new phase of our lives. I reveled in mapping out her body, swiftly learning the things she liked the most. We moved together well – that much was certain. Even if parts of us still clashed, feeling a new way forward out of the maze of confusion the past represented, our sexual compatibility was so uncomplicated that it was a relief. Each time I thrust into her, a worry melted away. It became a way to cope with everything. Thoughts and doubts took a backseat to a focus on feeling, on making sure she felt good, making sure I felt good. Rocking back and forth together, letting everything else fade away.
She reached the apex first, holding onto me tightly, and I followed her soon after, eking out just a few more thrusts before leaping over the cliff’s edge and tumbling downward. Both of us were sleepy from the long ride and sated from getting close to each other again. It would’ve been the easiest thing in the world just to slip into slumber from here, but I was dying to quiz her a little bit about her memories. I didn’t know that now was the right time, but I wasn’t sure any time would feel like the right time. I just didn’t want to come off as selfish, or needy, even if I did need Cheyenne in my corner.
“Does it feel the same to you?” I asked her finally, tracing lazy circles on her back. She shuddered and I drew the blanket up over us, careful to guard against the nighttime chill. It was almost winter, after all.
“Does what feel the same?” Her voice was so thick with tiredness that I almost told her to forget about it, to go to bed, that we could talk more in the morning.
“Being here, with me. Is it familiar? Do I seem like the same Jack to you?”
Cheyenne turned her head to face me and smiled. “I like being here with you, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“I’m glad you like it. I like it too.” I switched tack, trying to figure out how best to put it without sounding weird. “The way my house is. The furniture I picked out, the way I decorated. The cleanliness. I’m wondering if it’s similar to the way I used to be. Does it represent the things I liked before I lost my memories? Does it fit with your perception of me?”
Cheyenne’s eyes shone in the dark. “There are some things that remind me of the way you used to be.”
“Like what?”
“The messiness.” A crooked smile. “The sex drive.”
I was happy the room was dark to hide my blush. “That’s good. I mean, it is good, right?”
She laughed. “It’s good. Definitely.”
“But what about my style?”
Her smile faded just a watt, but I still noticed. “For your house?”
“Yeah.”
“I like your house.”
A sinking disappointment. “But it’s not in my tastes – or at least the tastes I used to have.”
“People change their opinions on the things they like all the time,” she said. “Your place here in Rio Seco is gorgeous. Is it something you would’ve gone for before being in the Army? No, not really. You liked super modern stuff.”
“Huh.” I knew I shouldn’t poke at it anymore. That I would probably be disappointed at best and troubled at worst at the disparities between Cheyenne’s memories and how I was now.
“I think it’s kind of poignant, though.”
“What is?”
She snuggled up a little closer to me, and I put my arm around her almost as a reflex. Was it a reflex? A memory? I was reading too much into everything, I was sure.
“That you picked such a classic house, and filled it with vintage stuff. It’s touching.”
“Why?”
“Because everything in here – your house included – has a history. Nothing’s new. It’s all been loved by someone prior to you loving it, even if you don’t know the previous owners of everything.”
I thought about that for so long that I missed the gentle rise and fall of Cheyenne’s back and almost ruined her sleep by asking a follow-up question. Instead, I watched her sleep, wondered at the trust she placed in me, and hoped that whoever I was now measured up to the person she remembered.
Chapter 5
Rio Seco looked good on Cheyenne. Or maybe she made the town I called home now look even better than it usually did. We had great weather, even if it was chilly. The sun cut through sapphire skies like a yellow diamond, and the desert and mountains glittered in the cold light. It was a photographer’s dream, the way the landscape looked, and I knew Brody was getting up early every morning with Nadine so she could shoot the phenomenon of frost encrusting the desert vegetation with crystals. One morning, I roused Cheyenne out of bed and met them out there so she could see the beauty for herself.
“I’ve never seen anything like this in my life,” Cheyenne said, turning around in circles, looking at the sun turning each droplet of ice gold.
“That’s the desert for you,” Brody said, handing me a thermos of coffee as Nadine knelt in the sand, capturing a macro shot of frozen cactus spikes. “It will always surprise you.”
I took a sip of the brew – it warmed me all the way down to my toes – and offered it to Cheyenne.
“Maybe that’s the most surprising part of it,” I said. “Being here for as many years as I have and still getting surprised like this.”
“I have to confess, I thought New Mexico was something of a wasteland,” Cheyenne admitted, cupping her hands around the thermos to warm them through the gloves she wore. “Maybe it’s the whole nuclear-test-site history or something.”
“I mean, that’s true history,” Brody confirmed. “There are museums and stuff about it, but the actual land about is really beautiful. White Sands? Gorgeous.”
“It’s really white?”
“Like sugar,” he said. “The sand’s pulverized gypsum. Glitters like diamond dust. Jack, we obviously need to make this a thing. That would be a great club ride.”
“If it’s a club ride, Cheyenne wouldn’t get to come,” I reminded him. “Nadine wouldn’t, either.”
“What?” Nadine squawked, looking away from the display of her camera. “If you’re planning on riding all the way to White Sands, you better take me with you. I wouldn’t miss that for the world.”
“Club and friends ride, then,” Brody amended.
“Oh, we’re just friends, now?” Nadine countered. Cheyenne was doing her best to conceal laughter behind her gloved hand.
“Official Horizon MC members and lovers ride,” he ventured, sounding a little querulous.
“Acceptable.” Nadine went back to shooting photos.
“I didn’t mean to assume anything, though, Cheyenne,” Brody said quickly, holding his hands up. It was entertaining, watching him squirm and struggle, attempting to please everyone and offend no one. “About you and Jack.”
“I think the members and lovers ride is a lovely idea,” she said, smiling at him, letting him off the hook. “Good branding.”
“Thanks.”
“I’m frozen,” N
adine groaned. “Let’s go somewhere to warm up.”
“Shots of whiskey at the bar?” I proposed.
“Change shots to sips and you’ve got a deal.”
“Weak sauce, Nadine,” I groaned.
“The sun just came up,” Cheyenne pointed out. “The bar’s not even open, is it?”
“You came out to the desert with the owner, general manager, and one of the servers at the bar,” I told her. “The bar can be open at any time as long as you have at least one of us.”
“Still too early for whiskey,” she said, laughing.
“Think we could maybe go to that old diner we passed on the way out here?” Nadine asked. “I’d love to take some photos of it, especially with the way the sun is right now. Another gorgeous day in paradise.”
“High praise, coming from this one,” Brody told Cheyenne. “Nadine’s been all over. Shot photos everywhere. Places you wouldn’t believe. You should check out her website.”
“I’d love to,” Cheyenne said.
“Kiss-ass,” Nadine told Brody, but she was smiling. “Let’s go.”
“I’m not going to get my whiskey, am I?” I asked.
“Maybe in twelve hours,” Cheyenne told me with a conciliatory pat on the back. “In the meantime, all of us could use some breakfast.”
She was right. Breakfast was marvelous. It was just one of the many ways my life rearranged itself with Cheyenne in it, even if she hadn’t been in town for very long. I took better care of myself, of my apartment, even of the bar, limiting my hours there in favor of spending time with her. She made me feel good. And everyone seemed to like her just as much as I did.
Winter was cold here, but the camaraderie of my friends warmed everything up. They swept Cheyenne up into an impromptu welcome party the first time I took her to the bar.
“I knew Jack had someone beautiful squirreled away somewhere,” Sloan said, whirling her around. “He’s so private. Welcome, though, finally! Welcome to Rio Seco, and, more importantly, Horizon MC Bar!”
“Thank you,” she said, giggling, as he finally set her down. “I’m happy to be here.”
“If I had remembered Cheyenne, I would’ve kept her away from all of you,” I said wryly as Ace started pulling out shot glasses. “You all are terrible influences. Degenerates. What the hell are you doing, Ace?”
“I’ve never felt like there was a more deserving situation for celebratory tequila shots,” he said. “So I’m making it happen. Cheyenne? Do you like tequila shots?”
“Does anyone like tequila shots?” she asked with a good-natured groan. “As long as it’s clear, cold, and followed with a lime, I think I can do it.”
“Tequila shots it is,” Ace announced, making the arrangements. “To Cheyenne! Rio Seco and Horizon MC welcome you!”
“Cheers,” she said, sounding a little uncertain, and I threw back my tequila with the rest of everybody. When I finally got the lime to mitigate the burn of the liquor, Cheyenne was giving me a funny look.
“What is it?”
She shook her head. “You used to never, ever drink tequila.”
“Really?”
“Oh my God, the Jack you used to be must’ve been uptight,” Sloan said, gaping at me. “Tell us more so we can embarrass him.”
“I’m not doing that,” Cheyenne squawked, outraged. “Never!”
“She’s a keeper,” Brody murmured to me, elbowing me in the side.
“You just had a terrible experience at some point in high school when you were visiting your cousin James, and you vowed never to drink it again,” she explained, turning to me. “But now you can drink it again, apparently?”
“Apparently,” I agreed. “That’s a pretty common thing for people with the kind of amnesia I have. To have completely different tastes and preferences.” I hoped that I didn’t offend Cheyenne with that statement, that maybe I even preferred different women than her. But if it had struck her the wrong way, she didn’t show it, getting swept up and away by Nadine, Haley, and Amy.
“She’s gorgeous, you bastard,” Ace said, punching me lightly.
“Don’t you think if I had known we’d had a thing, I would’ve already brought her here?” I asked him. “I have no memories of her.”
“Are you sure she is who she says she is?” Chuck asked with a concerned frown.
“You think someone would think to scam me like that?”
“The world can be a messed up place,” he said, shrugging. “I just think you ought to be careful.”
“Maybe she’s the one who ought to be careful,” I pointed out. “She loved me before I lost my memories. I’m like a new person to her, now.”
“So romantic,” Sloan said, fluttering his eyelashes at me. “What? It is! You get to fall in love all over again – if that’s what you want. That’s what you want, isn’t it? Please tell me it’s what you want. You already look happier. I think she’s good for you.”
“That look means he got laid,” Brody said, squinting at me and nodding.
“A laid Jack is a happy Jack,” Ace added sagely.
“This is why I don’t introduce women I’m seeing to you all,” I pointed out.
“You don’t see women,” Ace said. “But you’re seeing this one. I can see it in the way you look at her.”
I had to almost physically restrain myself from turning to see where Cheyenne was, analyzing if what Ace said was true, that there was a different way to look at her, and it was something I did.
“I’m not,” I said.
“You’re a liar, then.”
“Really, I’m not.” I sighed. Because it would be easier if Cheyenne and I were actually seeing each other. Better, even, maybe. But things were a lot more complicated than that. “Sure, we might’ve slept together. There were a lot of…feelings going on there, between us.” That was an understatement. “But she’s only here in Rio Seco with me to try to help me sort things out. I’m going to take her to the storage unit, for example, to see if she has any explanations for the things there. Anything that might give me context and information I didn’t have before.”
I thought that would’ve shut them up, but the silence was only temporary.
“I have to say, man, that taking a lady to your storage unit is not a very sexy date,” Chuck informed me gently. “Can we persuade you to rethink that?”
Everyone laughed, but I shook my head. “You don’t understand. I don’t…I just don’t remember her. It wouldn’t be fair for her if I expected a relationship out of this. You heard what she said. The Jack she used to know turned his nose up at tequila. I’m a completely different person to her, and she’s a completely new person to me.”
“We just want to see you happy, bud,” Ace said. “That’s all.”
“Well, thank you for your concern, but stay out of it,” I said. “Try not to make her uncomfortable.”
“She’s one of us,” Brody said. “We’ll treat her right.”
“I’m insulted you’d think we wouldn’t,” Sloan said. “But if you’re not going to pursue anything with her, am I to assume that you’re not calling dibs in this situation?”
I gawked at him. “You have a girlfriend. All of you have girlfriends. Dibs aren’t a thing anymore.”
“Dibs have always been a thing,” Chuck said.
“Yeah, well, official Horizon MC vote to outlaw dibs.”
“This is an abuse of power,” Brody observed.
“You know what? I’m going to take executive action on this. May the record show that the president of Horizon MC has outlawed dibs, starting at this moment. We’re better than that.”
“I can tell you really like her,” Ace murmured to me as the rest of the guys shook their heads at me and moved away. “I hope it works out.”
“You hope she’ll help me get my memories back, or you hope I have a relationship with her?”
“I hope you get whichever thing you want the most out of this.” He clapped me on the shoulder and I moved away to find Cheyenne, w
ondering if it came down to needing to make a choice, which decision would I make in that scenario? Have a relationship with someone in a hopelessly chaotic situation? Or forgo the relationship in order to figure out who I really was?
Mostly, I rued the cruel complexity of life. My life, in particular.
After that initial night at the bar, I started double dating, for lack of a better term, with the rest of the guys and their significant others. They had always been good about inviting me out places before, if it was a date. I think it was probably because they pitied me, because I hung out at the bar too often. They were invitations I usually declined, unless I could be sure that more people than the happy couple with be in attendance. I hated being a third wheel, even to my best friends. But with Cheyenne, I felt some need to entertain her. To show her how fun Rio Seco could be when you were friends with the right people. I became something of a social butterfly, and she was in town for more than a week before I realized I hadn’t gotten her out to the storage unit yet – her sole purpose for being here.
I was glad that Cheyenne seemed to be having fun with everyone, but I didn’t want her to think that I’d lied to her to get her to come down here. So one day, in a lull between all of the social engagements we were taking part in, I simply broached the topic at hand.
“Can I show you something?” I asked her. “It’s going to be weird. Fair warning.”
“Weird I can deal with,” she said. “Weird I am dealing with, if we’re being honest.”
“How dare you call my friends weird?” I joked. “I’m taking you to my storage unit.”
“Kinky. Wait. Is it a sex thing or not?”
“It’s, um, the storage unit where I had all my things from Colorado shipped,” I said. “So not a sex thing, no. Unless you wanted to turn it into a sex thing. I’d be down, but it’ll probably be pretty cold in the unit. It’s not climate controlled. Maybe I should look into that.”
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