by Robin Roseau
"That's enough," Serena said. "Is there anything you really want to tell me right now?"
"I'm so sorry, Serena."
"Oh honey," she said. And then she enveloped me her arms, kneeling on the floor of the aircraft. I leaned into her and wrapped my arms around her. She held me for a moment then said, "I want to talk to Lara for a moment, then I will come back and answer your questions, and we'll hold you. All right?"
"Yes, Serena," I said.
"Will you be okay for a few minutes?"
"Yes, Serena."
"I want you to do your best not to listen. Can you do that?"
"No. I can hear everything."
She leaned away from me. "What do you mean?"
"Everything. And I can smell you. You smell different. Will you tell me why you smell different?"
"You are smelling my worry," she said.
She caressed my cheek, and that felt nice.
"I am going to talk to Lara and then I will be right back. You will be safe."
"I know."
She stood up, but I clutched at her hands. She squeezed them gently, and then she stepped away. "Stay here," she ordered.
And so I stayed.
I heard her step out of the cabin. I heard her descend the steps. I heard as her shoes compressed slightly with each step. I heard Elisabeth, Lara and Karen talking quietly about me. I heard them breathing, and their hearts beating. I heard a family of birds in the rafters of the hangar. I heard other aircraft taking off and landing. I heard the wind, and the voices of the ground crew directing the airplanes. I heard metallic clangs and the sounds of fuel being poured into aircraft fuel tanks.
I heard Lara shift towards Serena as my enforcer joined the discussion.
I heard every word as Serena relayed our exchange.
"We need to be careful with her," Lara said. "We're just waiting for the food and drinks to arrive. There is some delay, but I'm assured it will only be another few minutes. She doesn't eat much at a time, but she eats often, and we need to get something inside her."
"And into us," Elisabeth said. "This stress is difficult for all of us."
"Alpha," Karen asked. "Haven't I earned your trust yet?"
"What?"
"There is a skill you have not taught me," Karen said. "And now she is to follow everyone's orders but mine. If you do not trust me, please tell me why not."
"Karen, I trust you. Will you let me explain to both you and Michaela at the same time?"
"Yes, Alpha."
"As for the skill you mentioned-"
"I have vowed I would do nothing to disrupt the pack hierarchy," Karen said. "How can you trust me to guard your children while you believe I would break my vow?"
"Karen," Lara said, "At first, that was it exactly. That has not been a factor from some time. What you do not know is how the skill is taught. You do not have the same sort of relationship with the person who would teach you that skill as do the others who have been taught, and it is difficult for me to think of anyone else being taught in that fashion. I do not wish to speak more plainly until we are back in territory we control."
"This is not an issue of trust?"
"No."
"Alpha," Elisabeth said, "I believe the pack would be stronger if Karen were to learn this skill."
"Now is not the time to resolve this," Lara said. "Karen, if we teach you, we must also teach Rory and Eric."
"They are loyal."
"I am not willing to teach Portia at this time," Lara said.
"Oh," said Karen. "Of course." She paused. "We can discuss this again when we are home?"
"Yes," Lara said.
"Thank you, Alpha. This has preyed on me. I apologize for my timing."
"The two issues were related." I heard Lara turn direction again. "Go to her. Answer the questions you can. We'll be in shortly."
"Yes, Alpha," Serena said.
I heard her shoes squeak on the floor as she turned. I heard her take a deep breath before stepping forward. A few moments later, and Serena stepped past me to kneel in front of me.
"Did you hear all of that?"
I nodded. I reached for her hands, and she gave them to me.
"Everyone is fine," Serena told me. "The compound is on lockdown. Emanuel and Kaylee have moved into your house along with Angel, Francesca and Gia. They are watching over your babies. Angel and Scarlett were unhurt. A couple of the kids heard Scarlett's howls, and Emanuel and I arrived as quickly as we could, but you were long gone, and we couldn't even track you. Everyone was very scared for you, but no one was in trouble."
I pulled her closer, and she knelt between my knees. I leaned forward and rested my head on her shoulder.
"I talked to Elisabeth and Lara about the events at the restaurant. While Lara clearly would rather you had gotten into the car the way I had ordered you, she and Elisabeth admit you acted like an alpha should. We will be discussing this again when you are yourself, but neither your nor I are in trouble."
After that, she was quiet, offering me the comfort of her presence. I lost track of the time, but then I heard a small vehicle approach the building we were in. Doors slammed, and I listened as someone struggled with a load a little too heavy for him. Two minutes later, Elisabeth entered the cabin, and from the sounds, I knew she carried a cooler of supplies. I heard her set it down, open it, then dig through it. A moment later she was at my side, and Serena leaned away from me.
"Michaela," Elisabeth said, "Look at me."
I turned my head to look into her eyes.
"Are you able to answer my questions?"
"I don't know."
"Tell me if you cannot," she said.
"Yes, Elisabeth," I agreed.
"Are you hungry?"
I considered. "I should eat."
"I have a sandwich and water for you, but there are also soft drinks and some fruit. Are you able to express a preference?"
I stared at her, not answering.
"Give them to me," Serena said quietly. "I'll take care of her."
Elisabeth handed Serena the food and bottle of water then turned around and began walking to the front of the aircraft to stow the cooler. I turned in my seat, trying to watch her. She had ordered me to watch her.
"Michaela," Serena said, "You may stop watching Elisabeth."
It wasn't an order, and so I continued to look at Elisabeth. Serena waited a moment and then said, "Michaela, sit properly in your seat facing me."
That was an order, and I immediately turned to her, sitting carefully in my seat with my hands folded in my lap.
"Michaela," she said gently, "All orders of where you must look have ended. You will disregard them now, as they have ended."
But she had ordered me to sit properly, and so still I sat facing her, sitting properly.
"Michaela," she said gently, "tell me what orders you continue to follow."
"Obey Lara, Elisabeth and Serena. Go with Lara. Go with Serena. Tell if I can't answer a question. Sit here. Sit properly."
"You may now sit however you wish. Tell me what orders you continue to follow."
"Obey Lara, Elisabeth and Serena. Go with Lara. Go with Serena. Tell if I can't answer a question. Sit here."
"Very good," she said, and I felt pleasure at the praise.
Part of me knew this was wrong, but it didn't feel wrong. I understood normally I would be very angry at being forced to obey like this. But right then, I didn't care. It felt right. I knew what I was to do, and it felt good to do it.
"I am going to add an order," she said. "If there is something you need, you will tell me."
"Yes, Serena." I thought about it. "I need to eat something. I need you to touch me. I need Elisabeth and Lara to touch me."
"Oh honey," she said. She moved closer again, setting the sandwich in my lap and the bottle of water in a little cup holder molded into the panel to my left. She took my hands with one of hers and caressed my cheek.
"I need to talk to all of you before we take of
f," I said.
"Of course, honey," she said.
Elisabeth finished with the cooler and stepped back. She moved towards her seat, but Serena said, "Elisabeth, she needs us for a while."
Elisabeth turned around and moved to my side.
"Touch her," Serena said. "She needs comfort."
Elisabeth knelt down at my side, one hand moving to rest on my knee, her other settling on the back of my neck. I looked at her.
A moment later, Karen and Lara climbed into the aircraft. Lara spoke to the pilots, already waiting in the cockpit. Karen took one of the forward seats, and Lara stepped to the back, coming to a stop beside her sister.
"Lara," Serena said. "She needs touch. I think she needs affection from her mate. And she wants to talk to us. I think you should let me handle her orders for now. I seem to have worked them out. She is exceedingly literal right now."
"Shift, Sister," Lara said. Elisabeth moved to her left, the hand at the back of my neck moving to my arm, and then Lara was there, one hand on my shoulder, the other on my head. She leaned over and kissed the top of my head.
"Lara," Serena asked quietly, "I think she needs proper affection. That hardly counts. But be very careful with any orders."
"Michaela," Lara said. Then she used two fingers to lift my face, and her lips brushed mine, lightly first, then far more deeply.
In the back of my mind, I could feel Carissa, and I knew she could feel Lara kissing me. And she whispered to me, "She is your mate, Michaela. It is proper to love her. It is proper to enjoy her affection." And then I felt Carissa withdraw further from me.
I closed my eyes and enjoyed the kiss.
"Better?" Lara whispered when finally she withdrew. I nodded just once.
"Michaela," Serena said, "What did you need to talk to us about?"
I tipped my head to look at Serena. Lara stood up, but she kept her hands on me. I stared at Serena, unable to answer.
"Michaela, you will answer this question," Serena said. "Do you remember why you told me you needed to talk to us?"
"Yes," I said.
"You will continue to answer my questions," she ordered, "but if you are unable to, you will tell me."
"Yes, Serena."
"Do you need help to tell us what you needed to tell us?"
"I-" I couldn't answer. I tried several times before Serena told me to stop trying to answer.
But then I smiled.
"I need to eat," I said.
"Yes," she agreed.
"I need to drink."
"Yes. Do you need me to order you to eat and drink?"
"Yes," I said. "And I need you to order me to tell you what orders to give me."
I smiled triumphantly.
"Oh, you are brilliant, Michaela," Serena said. "Tell me how much you need to eat."
"I need to eat half this sandwich," I replied. "I will need more later."
"Very good," Serena replied. "Tell me if this is enough water."
"It is," I said.
"Tell me, do you need to eat first or tell us what orders to give you first?"
I smiled again. "I need to tell you the orders, and then I need to eat."
"All right, Michaela," Serena said. "Tell us what orders we must give you."
"I need Lara to order me to believe she loves me," I said. "I need you to order me to eat and drink the amount my body needs. After we take off and it is safe, I need you to order me to go to the bathroom, and then I need you to order me to sleep for at least several hours. I need you to order me to wake up." And then I looked up at Lara. "But after I finish sleeping, I need you to order me to think for myself."
Lara smiled broadly. She caressed my cheek and leaned closer to me. "Michaela, listen to me very carefully."
"Yes, Lara."
"Believe me with every fiber of your being. I love you from the deepest depths of my heart. I will never, ever stop loving you. I began loving you that day we met, and my love grows richer and deeper every day. You are magnificent, and absolutely no one could make me as happy as I am loving you."
"Oh Lara," I said, and I felt the tears begin to well in my eyes.
"Michaela," said Elisabeth. "Look at me."
Immediately I turned to face her.
"Alpha, may I?"
"Yes," Lara said.
"Michaela, believe me," Elisabeth said. "I love you, second only to my sister. I admire and cherish you, and I want you a part of my life forever and ever."
I put my hand over hers, the one that was on my knee, and I squeezed.
"Alpha, may I?" Serena asked.
"Yes," Lara replied.
"Michaela, look at me," Serena said. I turned to face her, and she said, "Believe me. You saved my two boys. My entire family loves you. My daughter cherishes you. I love you only behind my mate and my children. I am deeply, deeply proud to be your head of security. But importantly, I am proud to be your friend."
"Michaela," Lara said. "Look at me."
I turned to face her, the tears crawling down my cheeks.
"Believe me," she said. "Angel and Scarlett deeply love you. Francesca and Gia love you. Rory loves you. Nearly everyone in the pack deeply admires you. Most of your students love you. Our daughters love you in the way that daughters love their mothers. Believe this, Michaela."
And then I was crying.
I was loved.
Asheville
"Wake up, Little Fox."
My eyes snapped open. From inches away, Lara was looking at me. She smiled. "You will think for yourself, Michaela."
I smiled. "Where are we?"
"A hotel in Asheville," she said. "It is early Sunday morning. Are you back with us?"
I thought about it. "Oh yes," I said. "I can feel her. And I can feel the orders you've given me."
"All the orders?"
"Yes." I reached a hand out for her. "Thank you for that, and thank you for allowing Elisabeth and Serena to say what they said."
"Are the orders causing you trouble?"
"No. I don't know how literal I am going to be."
"Will it help if I strengthen the order to think for yourself?"
"Perhaps you could order me to use my judgment in interpreting future orders."
"I don't know," she said, grinning. "I sort of like knowing you'll do what you're told."
I didn't answer her. I knew she was teasing me.
"Are you upset Carissa ordered you to obey me?"
"No, honey," I said. "As long as it's not permanent and you don't get too used to it."
"Michaela, in all future orders you receive from us while under Carissa's thrall, you will apply your judgment in interpreting the orders."
I felt that settle in.
"It feels so strange. My will is mostly my own, but not entirely. Yesterday it felt like I was drugged, but I can feel the compulsion to obey you." I grinned. "I think you should order me to tickle you."
She laughed.
"There are too many humans around to make you scream my name, Little Fox."
I looked away, suddenly sad.
"Tell me what is wrong," she ordered.
"I can feel Carissa. She can also feel me, Lara. If we make love, she will know."
"Look at me, Michaela."
I couldn't help but obey. I turned back to her.
"I want Carissa to know," she said. "But I do not want you to be upset."
"She told you the thrall would be a wedge between us," I said. "I refuse to allow that. But I am also deeply driven to begin what we came here to do."
"Well, then we will need to be quick," she said, closing the distance and kissing me. I rolled onto my back, pulling her with me, moaning into the kiss.
"Lara," I said when I could speak again. "You may order me to enjoy this."
She chuckled. "Oh, I believe I will order far more than that."
And she did.
* * * *
Some time later, as I lay draped across Lara's chest, Carissa spoke in my mind. "All the love they
shared with you yesterday is true, and you will believe forever. Do you need me to prod you from bed?"
"May I enjoy this for two more minutes, Carissa?" I thought.
"Of course, Michaela. Thank you for helping me."
And she faded into the background, but I could still feel her.
I sighed. "Lara, thank you."
"You are welcome, Little Fox."
"Did we make a plan last night?"
"Scouting today. Can you feel Deirdre?"
I concentrated for just a moment. "Yes. She is not close, but she is much closer than Carissa."
"Can you sense a direction?"
"Yes," I said. "And a feeling of distance, but not in a way I can measure or describe. The direction is vague, sort 'over there somewhere'."
"Today we go on feet," she said. "We have all your outdoor clothes."
I pushed away from her and sat up. "Lara, who is in charge?"
She paused. "You are the scout. I believe the best plan is for you to tell us what you believe is best."
"Then I believe I should shower, dry my hair, and get dressed. If you shower while I am drying my hair, then we can all assemble here and decide our plan for this morning. Can you call everyone else while I am in the shower?"
"Did you want to eat here?"
"Let's grab a snack for in the car and then see if we can find a diner somewhere. I want all of you to stock up. Lara, she's not close, and I want to know what we're up against."
"All right," she said. She started to say something then closed her mouth.
"What?"
"I was about to tell you to go shower, but it would have come out as an order, and I am trying not to do that."
"Thank you, Lara," I said. "I'll go shower and get ready."
* * * *
Thirty minutes later, the five of us assembled in my room with Lara.
"Before we start," Lara said, "Michaela, you asked Serena a question yesterday I haven't answered."
"About Karen?"
"Yes. Did you still want to know?"
"Yes."
"You and Karen are our best scouts and the two most capable of planning whatever we need to do. I wanted to be sure you could have a conversation with Karen without orders to obey her interfering. Elisabeth, Serena and I must approve the plans, and we will certainly have things to say about them, but you are the expert at skulking. I do not believe wolf directness is the proper approach."