A Man and His Robot

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A Man and His Robot Page 17

by William Vitka


  Turing retreats. He doesn’t trust this stranger’s hand yet.

  I say, “Special relationship, huh? Maybe you should be nicer to us. See where that gets you instead.”

  DeVille shoots me a death stare.

  I give her one back. Pat Turing’s side just to drive the point home.

  Catarina says, “If the three of us were complete shitheads, I think you’d have gotten that impression already.”

  DeVille points to me. “Maybe not complete but he’s not helping your case.”

  I throw my hands out. “Piss ass shit. Fine. I’m gonna check on Athena.” Haven’t spent nearly enough time with her. “You three can negotiate.”

  I light a cigarette.

  DeVille sneers. “No smoking in here.”

  I smile at her. Give her the finger. “It’s the apocalypse. If there was ever a time to smoke, it’s during the goddamn apocalypse.” I turn and walk away. Toward Juliet and Athena.

  I hear Jack say to Catarina: “Lovebirds.”

  I stomp through the corporate lobby. Puff on my cigarette. Walk outside. Stare at the decimated cars in the parking lot.

  Blowing something up would feel pretty good right about now.

  Cigarette’s got three pulls left. I toss it off to the side. Climb onto Juliet. Open the hatch and drop in.

  There’s a kid sitting near where Athena should be. A goddamn kid. Naked with long hair. Its back is to me. Maybe a year or two old. And the kid’s working on something in its lap. I hear MRE packaging rustle.

  My first thought is a feral human rodent got into the tank. If I find Athena’s been hurt, I’ll kill the kid on principle. But no. The kid’s too clean.

  Then the kid says. “Goddamn. Fuck. Thing. Open.”

  A girl. Her voice stumbles over the words.

  I realize I’m a terrible parent. Say, “Athena?”

  She turns to me. Big goofy smile on her face that pushes her puffy white cheeks even higher. She’s got traces of chocolate around her mouth. “Hi daddy.”

  Daddy.

  Ohhhhh shit.

  I key my earpiece. “Jack. Catarina. I’m in the tank. I got something you’re gonna wanna see.”

  Jack says back: “That’s a negative, son. DeVille’s gonna let us scavenge some miltech for the bots and ourselves. But there are conditions. Bring Juliet around the western side of the plant. We’ll keep the doors of the first warehouse—A—open. Park her inside, then we’ll talk. Gotta get everyone grouped up.”

  “But, dad—”

  “Really? Get inside.” He laughs. “Or I’ll send you to your room.”

  I deactivate the earpiece. Look to Athena. She’s adorable. Still grinning. Still trying to get the MRE package goddamn. Fuckin. Thing. Open.

  I say, “Here, honey. Lemme open that for you.”

  Athena says, “I can do it.”

  “I know, but I can do it for you now instead of watching you struggle like some sugar-crazed monkey idiot.”

  “No, daddy. I wanna do it. I can do it.”

  I rub my face. “All right. I won’t argue with you.” Tough cookie already. Good. “You gotta do something for me though.”

  Athena puts the MRE down. Squints at me. “Yeaahhh?”

  “Yeah. I can’t have you running around here like a little exhibitionist. People’ll get the wrong idea.” I crawl to the storage lockers. Grab a pair of tight thermal underwear and shirt. “You gotta put this on. I know they’re too big. It’s just for a little while.”

  She groans. “Sit.”

  I’m pretty sure she means “shit.”

  I don’t see much of a reason to correct her language. I ain’t gonna curb mine any time soon. Can’t tell her it’s bad and then do it all the damn time anyway.

  I say, “Monkey, c’mon. The clothes actually feel pretty soft.”

  “Fiiiiine.” She drops the MRE.

  “Any more attitude and I won’t show you how to use the guns. Understand?”

  Her eyes go wide. “But I want the guns... I’ll be good.”

  I give her a kiss on the forehead. “Get dressed. We’re gonna go hook up with Grandma and Grandpa and Plissken and the baby tanks.”

  My life has become very fuckin weird.

  Athena gives me a tiny thumbs-up.

  We bump fists. I don’t know how she knows to do that, but she does.

  I crawl over to the command cubby. Stare at a monitor that shows my own face right back. I mutter to myself: “What the hell just happened.” Take a pull from the bottle of whiskey.

  Rapid aging ain’t super new. Shit’s called progeria. But I don’t think it’s actual aging. Little kids just end up looking eighty when they’re eight.

  Athena though... Athena didn’t get “older.” She got fuckin older. In her brain meat too.

  I look at the veins pumping under my skin.

  I need Plissken to check Athena out.

  I need to know what my blood did to her.

  * * *

  Juliet parks herself inside the first warehouse—a giant assembly area that could give a build team the space to put together four or five choppers. It’s all white. Shiny. Somehow pristine amid the ruins.

  Bright LED lights line the ceiling. They bathe the place with a bluish glow. Power lines hang down the walls like fat black snakes. There’s row after row of shelving that holds tools and materials.

  I see a little cleaning bot scamper at the far end of the warehouse.

  DeVille looks the tank over like she wants to have sex with it.

  Which’s fine except I still wanna have sex with her.

  Talk to her. Don’t be a dick.

  Yeah. All right. Don’t rush me.

  I climb outta the hatch and sit next to it.

  DeVille runs her fingers along Juliet’s treads. She says, “Beautiful machine. I remember hearing about them when I was training. M1A7XP3. The military’s answer to modern urban warfare. Highly advanced AI architecture that was actually part of the tank.”

  “Yeah, tank’s got an attitude. Like you.”

  “How’d you get your hands on her?”

  “Newark. Stole her from a bunch of fuckbug raiders who were raping captive women to breed more humans. Then I kinda murdered em.”

  DeVille grunts. Nods.

  Guess she appreciates the sentiment.

  Jack and Catarina seal up the big doors.

  Catarina says to me: “Okay, hop on down. We all got some things to discuss.”

  I say, “You have no idea.” I turn my face to the tank’s open hatch. “Hey monkey, gimme your hands.” I reach down and pull Athena up onto my lap.

  Jack blinks. Frowns. “What’re you? Some idiot celebrity? Stop adopting kids.”

  Catarina crosses her arms. “Where’s Athena?”

  I point to the toddler fussing on my knee. “You’re lookin at her.”

  “Athena’s barely four days old. That kid’s—”

  “Actually, far as I can tell, Athena’s almost two years old.” I point at faces around the room. Fuck the questions. I tell Athena: “That’s Grandpa Jack. That’s Grandma Catarina. That’s Uncle Plissken. Those are your cousins Lovelace and Turing. They’re your family. So’s Aunt Juliet, obviously, but we’re sitting on her.”

  Athena giggles. Kicks her legs. She squeaks out a “Hiiiii.” The fabric of her oversized thermals flops around.

  Plissken says, “That is definitely something.”

  I say, “No shit. Can you run some tests on her? Figure out what’s going on?”

  DeVille says, “You guys aren’t worried about cursing in front of a toddler or about a robot doing tests on her?”

  We all frown a little. Look at DeVille like she’s a big dumb idiothole.

  DeVille says, “Jesus, you people.”

 
Jack says, “You’ll get used to it.”

  I hop off the tank. Land right in front of DeVille. Bump against her. Smile like a bastard. Say, “There’s no way you’re not liking this.” I squish my thumb and index finger together. “Just a little bit.”

  DeVille eyeballs me. Puts a hand on my chest and shoves me back. Says, “Don’t push it.” But there’s a hint of a smile there.

  That’s about all I need right now.

  * * *

  I lay my rucksack against the couch DeVille set up in the main chopper assembly area. Plop down on the soft cushions. Whole spot’s like her living room. Got the buttrest. Little table dotted with tools and holopads that show schematics—some show robots in various stages of progress.

  I don’t understand any of the blueprints.

  Catarina seems to. She spins one of the holograms around. A chassis. Looks like one of the toddler tanks almost. She taps a glowing red dot beside the hologram. The chassis changes. The treads become legs. Panels open on its side. Arms emerge.

  I say, “That’s some Transfomers shit.”

  Catarina looks at me through the hologram. “Woman’s a genius.”

  “Like Uncle Caleb?”

  “Nobody’s like Caleb.” She puts the holopad down. Crashes next to me on the couch. “But she’s very impressive.”

  “You thinking DeVille’s one of us?”

  Us.

  I really can’t handle the idea of wanting to screw another chick who might be related to me. Catarina shrugs. “Dunno. Three always said there were more ‘emergent’—that’s what he calls us, ‘emergent’—than just us. The last time I talked to Caleb, he thought there were a few good contenders up at the Boston enclave.”

  “How many.”

  “Five, I think.”

  “Outta how many human survivors.”

  “About three thousand.”

  “You managed to save three thousand people? You guys are good.”

  Catarina shakes her head. “Considering the population of the continental USC was near three hundred million before the outbreak, it’s a pretty shitty number. We saved point zero zero zero zero one percent.”

  “Still something. Coulda been just point zero percent flat.”

  “Maybe. Yeah.” Catarina stands. Scratches her head. “Caleb’s been doing a good job keeping things going up there. Don’t know about the Midwest or the West Coast yet, either. Could be enclaves there. But if there are, they aren’t picking up the phone. Radio communication’s kinda fucked these days.”

  Athena bounds out of a back room. She tears around the industrial shelves. Jumps. Shouts. “Daaaaaaaaad!” Lands so hard in my lap I might not have to go through the step of cutting my dick off.

  She knocks the wind outta me. I wince. “Hey monkey.” Rustle her hair. She’s wearing a black jumpsuit like DeVille’s instead of the loose thermals I put her in. “New duds, huh?”

  Jack and DeVille follow Athena’s trajectory, but at a much slower pace.

  Athena says, “Grandpa and Debil got me clothes. They keep me hideded.”

  I look up at Jack and DeVille.

  Jack wraps his arm around Catarina’s waist. Says, “That jumpsuit’s why Plissken didn’t pick anything up. DeVille’s clothing absorbs radar. It’s excellent camouflage. Plus it looks cool.”

  Catarina says, “Figured the girl needed some style?”

  DeVille says, “Or at least not look like someone shrunk an adult.”

  I keep my eyes on DeVille. Smirk.

  Athena digs her face into my chest. Throws her little arms around me.

  I run my hands through her blonde hair. Brush her cheek.

  Thirty seconds later, her eyelids flutter.

  I have no idea when she stopped being a baby. Or when she last got rest. So it’s weird. But at least she’s got more personality now. Still. Who knows what my blood’s done to her. What these growth spurts have done to her.

  I say, “Monkey, where did you learn all your words?” Not like I walked her through the linguistic process. Been too busy killing things. Or getting my ass kicked.

  Column A, meet Column B.

  Athena says, “Aunt Julie taught me.”

  “Taught you how?”

  “Hipno sujestion so my brains could got smart.”

  “You mean hypnotic suggestion?”

  Athena shrugs. Her eyelids flutter again. “Ass Pisskin.”

  I feel a rush of anger. Not one I can really explain. But basically: Who the fuck do these robots think they are, messing with my daughter’s brain? “Yeah, ‘Ass Pisskin’ sounds about right.”

  DeVille, Jack and Catarina watch me.

  I smile at Athena. Say, “Okay, monkey. Let’s find you a place where you can sleep.” I pick her up. Her arms hang limp at her side. She rests her head against my shoulder. Eyes still looking around the massive room.

  I say to DeVille: “You got a bed where she can knock out for a while? I don’t wanna stick her back in the tank. Mostly cuz the kid’s never been in a real bed. Just the tank floor. Also cuz I don’t want the droids poking around inside her skull anymore.”

  DeVille nods. “Yeah. Understandable.” She tries to smile. To be sweet. Seems a little forced, but I’ll take it. She says, “Follow me.”

  Catarina and Jack take turns saying goodnight to Athena. The little girl giggles when Catarina blows raspberries on her cheek.

  Jack taps my shoulder. Leans in. Whispers into my ear. “We’ve been doing a lot of resting lately. Not trying to be a dick, but we gotta get to Boston. Already burned most of today. So at daybreak, we roll. No more stopping.”

  I say, “You’re the ones who wanted to scope this place out.”

  “I wanted to raid it. Not get cozy.” Gravel in his voice.

  “Nobody’s quite cozy, old man.” I give him a look. Let the sneer on my face tell him: Conversation’s over.

  I turn. Follow DeVille. She heads for a steel staircase at the far side of the main warehouse. Looks like it leads up to a glass-enclosed control room built high above the assembly floor. One of several. Spots where supervisors could, uh, supervise from.

  DeVille opens the door at the top of the stairs. Ushers me and Athena into the elevated space.

  The room’s sparse. A bank of holographic screens and switches are set against the wall that faces the assembly floor. Other side has some cabinets and a little bed.

  DeVille says, “I used to sleep here. Gave us—” She stops herself. Frowns. “Gave me some privacy. I thought the position was good to prevent the shamblers from getting me in case the building got compromised. Well, it was good when the only thing we had to worry about were shamblers.”

  I look out the windows. Watch Catarina and Jack and Plissken and the toddler tanks having some kinda powwow. Say, “Yeah, but it’s a long drop too.”

  “There’s also that. But I moved to the main floor when I realized it didn’t matter where we tried to sleep. If one of the big ones wants in, it’ll get in.”

  DeVille crosses her hands across her chest. Her eyes are a little watery from memories.

  I nod to her. Say, “Lemme get Athena settled.”

  I lay my weirdo daughter down on top of the bed. Her head at the center of the pillow. I pull back the covers. “Tuck up your legs, monkey.” And cover her. Then I sit next to her on the bed. Brush the hair out of her face.

  Athena’s eyes close. She mumbles: “Thank you, daddy.”

  “Bed’s a lot better than the floor of a tank, huh? You should thank DeVille. She’s letting you use it.”

  “Thanks, Debil.”

  DeVille smiles. Holds up her hand. “Wait a minute. I’ll be right back.”

  She disappears down the stairs.

  I rub Athena’s shoulders. “How’re you feeling, monkey?”

  “Seepy as sit.”
Her eyes open. Then go half-lidded.

  “I can appreciate that.”

  “I like Debil, daddy. Do you like Debil?”

  “Ehh.” I rock my hand from side to side. “Not sure yet. Maybe.”

  “I think she’d make a good mommy.”

  That makes me wince. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Okay, monkey?”

  DeVille reappears in the doorway. She’s holding a teddy bear. It’s old. A little raggedy. Not that that matters.

  She hands the teddy over to Athena. Tells my little girl, “This is Roosevelt. He was mine when I was your age. After that, he was my daughter’s. That bear has a lot of love in him. He’ll keep you warm.”

  Athena smiles. A little in awe. She takes the stuffed animal as though it’s a sacred relic.

  Guess it is in a way.

  I lean over and kiss Athena’s forehead. “What do you say?”

  Athena wraps her arms around the bear. Quietly says, “Thank you Debil.” She shuts her eyes. “I love you, daddy.”

  “I love you too, monkey.”

  Shit’s moving pretty fast, huh?

  I give Athena another kiss. Follow DeVille out the door.

  We stand on the little balcony outside the elevated room. I put my hands on my hips. Look at my boots. Say, “That was nice. What you did with the teddy bear. I know Athena appreciates it. Thank you.”

  DeVille says, “A little girl growing up these days... She’s going to need some comfort in her life.” Inhale. Exhale. Slow.

  Holding something back.

  I say, “Your daughter—”

  “Didn’t make it.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Everybody’s ‘sorry.’ This fuckin planet only gave my daughter eight years.” She sticks her hands in her front pockets. “You better keep Athena safe.” Deville purses her lips. Hard to tell if the grimace on her face means she’s in pain or still doesn’t like me.

  I say, “No offense, but you don’t know anything about me. Or my family. Or that little girl.”

  “You’re right.” DeVille sticks out her hand. “My name is Jessica DeVille. You are?”

  I look in at Athena. The outline of her little body slumbering under the blankets.

 

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