by Anne Conley
“Renae? What did you put in the Brussel Sprouts? I don’t smell the bacon.” Dalton was behind his mother, strapping Milo into the highchair, making a comical face at his mother’s back as she questioned Renae’s cooking abilities. She wondered what jabs she made about Dalton’s parenting skills on the way over.
“No, I used brown sugar and went for a sweet tart thing with the cranberries. I thought it might be healthier than bacon.”
“Hmph.” Her mother’s expression said she didn’t agree.
When they were all seated at the table and the dishes full of food were arranged, Mary finally smiled. “Now, this is nice. All of us together as a family. Cayden, will you lead the prayer, please?”
While Cayden blessed the food, Renae’s mind wandered to her mother’s words. Family. Jason was here, and earlier he’d claimed her family as his. Was she missing something? Was this the family of the twenty-first century? Unmarried fathers of the children at the table? Fathers who didn’t have anything to do with the mother besides one night of reckless bliss?
When Cayden said amen, she looked up to see everyone passing bowls and plates of food around, everyone except Jason, who was staring at her, an inscrutable expression on his face. When Sierra nudged him with the gravy boat, he snapped to attention and started filling his own plate.
“When does everybody find out what they’re having?” Kelly asked animatedly.
“We’re having babies, Kelly.” Alyssa answered, her mouth turned up wryly.
“Not for another month or two, hon. Sorry.”
“As long as it’s healthy. That’s all I’m praying for.” Mary interjected. “I worry about the older mothers. Women aren’t made to give birth this late in life.”
“Obviously, they are, or else we wouldn’t have two pregnant women at the table right now,” Jason provided.
“Well, it certainly was easier when I was younger,” Renae pointed out, reaching for the rolls.
“How so?” His fork froze over his food as he questioned her.
“My back didn’t hurt nearly as badly.”
“Your back is hurting? Why haven’t you said anything?”
“Oh, it looks like you’ve got a masseuse living with you now. Lucky dog,” Alyssa pointed out with a smile. Renae blushed. This was a family dinner, and suddenly her thoughts were anything but familial.
“Hey! I can be a masseuse!” Dalton said. “I’d love to get my hands on your body.” Apparently, she wasn’t the only one entertaining lusty thoughts.
“Awk-ward…” Kelly sing-songed.
Mary cleared her throat, demanding everyone’s attention and skillfully changed the topic of conversation. “Jason, where is Joe staying when he gets out of the hospital?”
Jason shrugged. “I’m not sure. My brother and I have been looking for a bigger place so I can stay with him. We haven’t had the best luck with caretakers for him, and he needs 24 hour supervision, or he will in the near future.”
Renae felt a surge of guilt mixed with trepidation, as she listened to him talk about his problems with his father. “I didn’t realize that.” Regret slammed into her at the realization he wasn’t staying throughout the pregnancy. She’d known he wasn’t, but it hadn’t clicked that his time in her home was soon coming to an end. That was good, wasn’t it?
After sending a knowing glance Renae’s way, which she couldn’t even begin to decipher, Mary smiled warmly at Jason. “I happen to have a vacant house and a soft spot for Joe. I’ll let you and him rent it for whatever you’re paying for his little apartment. Dalton is leasing the property for cattle right now, so the pastures and acreage don’t come with it, but the house is solid. Just needs painting.”
Milo squealed in delight at something he’d just put into his mouth, subverting everyone’s attention his way, but Renae kept her eyes on Jason, watching his reaction.
Eyes wide with wonder, he animatedly replied. “That would be awesome, Mrs. Colt. I’d really appreciate it. Thank you!”
“It’s big enough, if you needed it, for a nursery, and a guest room. It has four bedrooms, and the clubhouse the kids and their father built is still in the back. It’s the home Renae grew up in, you know.” Renae wasn’t sure what was going on in Mary’s mind, but there were definitely machinations behind her shrewd eyes.
“Well, I definitely appreciate that.” Jason took another bite, suddenly quiet.
Renae had mixed emotions about Mary offering Jason their house. On the one hand, it was sitting vacant, rotting with disuse, and Jason did need a place to put Joe when he was out of the hospital. On the other hand, offering up the homestead to him just seemed… intimate… for some reason. And bringing up a room for a nursery? What was that all about? Of course, he would probably need one if he was staying to be a part of the baby’s upbringing. But Renae hadn’t even thought about visitation rights. Would he want full custodial rights? Panic seized her insides at the thought. She didn’t think he would go that far, but he had been so angry.
The dinner passed by with animated conversation. Mary only criticized her food the one time but seemed appeased after she’d tasted everything. When they’d had dessert and the kids were crawling out of their skin, everybody migrated to the living room. Renae still had a feeling of uneasiness about the whole house conversation and the idea of losing custody of the baby that had planted itself in her mind. Jason, seeming oblivious, offered to make coffee for everybody and disappeared into the kitchen to brew some, returning a short time later with a tray full of cups.
Eyebrows raised, he joked, “What? You guys aren’t done yet?”
Mary sat back, tucking her skirt under her legs. “We waited for you.”
Surprise shone on his face, “You didn’t have to. I’m just decoration. You go ahead and have your family time. I’ll be doing refills and stuff.” He made a shooing gesture with his fingers. “Go ahead. Start opening.”
Cayden called out. “But you have presents!” He pointed to a small pile next to him.
Jason looked at Renae, dumfounded, and she shrugged and looked at Dalton, who winked at both of them while struggling to hold Milo in his lap.
“‘Tis the season.” He drawled. Renae had noticed since he’d moved back from Dallas a couple of years before, he’d acclimated to the slower lifestyle of Serendipity with ease. Taking over Dad’s cattle business after he’d died had done something to him.
Jason looked at Renae. “What’s the system? How do we do this?”
“We unwrap at our own pace, watching the kids tear through theirs and play.”
“Okay.”
The kids had already started ripping through paper, yelling thanks, and moving on to the next package. Renae was surprised to hear a ‘Thanks, Jason!’ after Cayden opened up a small Hot Wheels race track, then another ‘Thanks, Jason!’ after Sierra opened up a bracelet making kit. She looked over at him again and noticed him watching the kids with a funny smile on his face. She made note of the warmth that rushed through her at the sight of him. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad?
“Thanks, Jason!” Kelly exclaimed after opening a card with a gift card for a boutique in town. “I love that store!” She got up to walk over and hug him. “You’re the best!”
“Did you get everybody something?” Renae asked him.
He shrugged. “I’m hoping I didn’t miss anyone.”
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“Of course I didn’t, but I did.”
He’d gotten her mother a scarf, hat and glove set in ruby red wool. He’d gotten Dalton a bottle of good whiskey. And he got Alyssa and Renae both a gift set of decaffeinated herbal teas.
“Are you going to open yours?” Alyssa asked Jason.
“Okay.” He began opening the small stack of gifts, exclaiming after each one was unveiled. Dalton had also bought him a bottle of good whiskey, and Alyssa had gotten him a gift card to the music store downtown.
Milo had gotten fussy, so Renae took him to lie in her bed and hopefully sleep
while everyone finished opening presents. She returned to a living room of chaos where the kids had thrown paper everywhere.
Grabbing the picture books Mary had given them, they started trolling for laps to sit in. Dalton took Cayden, leaving Sierra wandering around, looking hopefully for an adult to read to her. Jason uncrossed his legs and patted a knee, sending her towards him at a trot. Renae watched with a bubbly feeling as he opened the book and began reading to her. The bubbly feeling dissipated quickly when she realized what he was doing.
He was turning her family against her. Until now, she hadn’t thought of this as a ‘me against him’ sort of battle, but that’s what it looked like now. When he became a dictator again, she wouldn’t be able to confide in a single person in this room without them telling her he was only looking out for her well-being.
Alyssa let out a huge yawn, shocking Mary into wakefulness.
“It’s time for us to go. We still have to get Mom back to the center.” Dalton managed agreeably.
Alyssa started the hugging round of goodbyes. “Dinner was amazing. You outdid yourself.”
“Yeah, I think even Mom liked it.” Dalton agreed before turning to Jason with a hand outstretched. “Welcome to the family, man. Take care of my sister, will ya? I really don’t like ass-kicking, but I’m game if you make me.”
Renae managed to roll her eyes without getting caught, but Daltons’ words only justified her previous feelings, even though he held his hands up in innocence. “Hey, I’m just here looking out for the baby.”
“Yeah, whatever.” Dalton echoed Renae’s thoughts, but where Renae was thinking that Jason was full of shit, Dalton was thinking he wanted back in Renae’s pants. Let them all think what they wanted, she wasn’t going to let Jason get any closer to her.
Mary was last up after the kids, and she hugged Renae tightly.
“I’m glad you came, Mom. Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas to you too, dear. I’m glad I came. I was curious how this was all playing out.”
Renae chose to ignore the comment, knowing to disagree with her mother would be a fruitless endeavor.
Kelly helped Jason and Renae get all the dishes into the kitchen before declaring herself exhausted and saying she was going to bed. That left Jason and Renae with a sink full of dirty dishes.
“I’ll scrape, you load the dishwasher?” He offered. Renae shrugged, dead on her feet. She would have been fine with leaving everything until the morning, but he seemed determined.
With the two of them working, the dishes were quickly loaded into the dishwasher, and Renae couldn’t hold back her snarkiness any longer.
“Am I allowed a half a glass of wine to celebrate the end to a successful dinner party?”
“I don’t see why not. The literature supports that. I’ll fix it, you go sit down and put your feet up. I’ll bring it to you.” She contained her surprise at his agreeableness.
Relieved to not have anything else to do tonight, Renae slunk into the living room and shed her shoes, sitting in the platform rocker, propping her feet up on the footstool. Jason was in shortly with a glass of wine for her.
“Here you go.” His voice was a low murmur.
She took the glass and sipped it, closing her eyes against his piercing gaze. She felt him lift her feet and sit them in his lap, before he began stroking the soles of them.
“Does that feel good?”
She moaned softly in response and was tempted to succumb to the sensations.
“I know why you are doing all this,” she murmured softly.
“Doing all what?”
“Being so nice. You’re trying to get everybody on your side so I don’t have anyone to whine to when you turn back into Hitler.”
His fingers on her toes stilled, and she felt them clutch roughly before he released her.
“My parents’ families didn’t get along when I was growing up. Jodie and I had to listen to all sorts of crap they threw at each other. I don’t want that for my child.”
“So this is all about what’s best for the baby?” She took another sip, still not looking at him.
“Maybe. Ultimately, yes. Possibly what’s best for us as well.”
“Us? As in…?” She wanted him to finish the sentence. These were words she couldn’t put in his mouth.
He sighed heavily and put her feet back on the stool. She opened her eyes and watched as he stood and rubbed his neck, his eyes filled with storm clouds. “I don’t know yet, Renae. But that is my child in your belly, and I will take care of it no matter what it takes.” Turning on his heel, he walked quickly out of the room, but he stopped just short of the door and turned to her. “I’m hoping you’ll lighten up enough for us to figure the rest out.”
Chapter 25
Jason woke up the next morning, Christmas, with an overwhelming need to belong to something. He’d spent last Christmas at Jodie’s house with his family and had watched their interactions with thinly disguised jealousy. He’d known that’s what he wanted but hadn’t the first clue as to go about getting it. He wanted to be a part of a family. He wanted a little person that was half his DNA to giggle at his antics. He wanted to provide for a woman and child, to feel needed, to protect them with his life, if necessary.
With Renae he felt like he was so close, but it was just out of reach. The problem was that he didn’t know exactly how to grasp what it was he wanted. Every time he got close to Renae, she pushed him away. He knew she was the key to his future, but he just couldn’t get her to let him over her wall to show her how good they could be together.
He spent Christmas day at Renae’s house much the same way he’d spent the rest of his days, trying to do things to make her life easier. Only she thought he had ulterior motives. She’d said as much last night.
After he’d made Kelly and Renae blueberry waffles, they’d sat down at the tree to open more presents. Jason had gotten Kelly and Renae matching charm bracelets, something he’d fretted over. He’d wanted to get something special but had no idea what to get the girls. He didn’t know Kelly at all, and felt like he barely knew Renae at times. But the charm bracelets had two charms on them — a saxophone, and a baby rattle. Kelly’s bracelet had an additional charm, the mascot from her college, to commemorate her first year of college.
“They’re for you to add on to them as you have special occasions you want to commemorate.”
Kelly hugged him tight, saying, “I love it, Jason. Thank you so much. I already know what my next charm will be.”
“What?”
“Something to commemorate y’all’s wedding.”
Renae choked on the hot cocoa she was sipping on, and Jason reached over to pound her on the back, not that it would help. Part of him was trying to pound some sense into her and make her see that it wasn’t such a crazy idea.
“Can I go to Dalton’s?”
“Are you spending the night?”
“I can if you want me to…” Kelly hedged as Jason stifled a smirk. The little sneak was trying to hook them up. As much as he appreciated the effort on her part, it wasn’t doing much for his appeal in Renae’s eyes. Jason could tell she was annoyed by her daughter’s machinations.
Renae sounded tired suddenly. “Just answer my question.”
“No, Mom. I was gonna come home around ten.”
“Well, then, be careful driving,” Renae finally acquiesced.
When Kelly left, Renae slumped against her chair, passing him an envelope, not saying a word before slipping her hands under her legs. She didn’t look at him, and his stomach fell.
He opened the envelope and pulled out a gift card to the local hardware store.
“Thanks. How… thoughtful.” Of course, she’d been busy and wouldn’t have had time to do any serious shopping for him.
Oh who was he kidding? She was pissed he was here, pissed she was pregnant, pissed she couldn’t live fancy and free, pissed she’d ever set eyes on Jason. She got him exactly what she’d meant to.
> Her eyes were devoid of emotion, and Jason wondered where the fiery temptress was. Instead of poking the bear, trying to rile it up, he sighed, defeated. He’d put so much thought into his gifts for them. He’d wanted to get something nice, but not over the top, and meaningful for them. Something they would go back and look at and remember him. He wasn’t trying to insinuate himself into their life. He was just trying to make sure Renae and the baby were okay.
And he fell for her in the process.
He could admit to himself the gift card hurt his feelings. It was impersonal and not something he would really enjoy. Hardware stores meant projects, and projects meant something had broken and needed to be fixed.
Without a word, Jason got up and went to the guest room. He pulled out his sax and put it together, not really caring if the loud music would be welcome right now or not. He needed to play.
So he did.
His music was like Xanax for his soul, mellowing his emotions, smoothing them out, boosting them up. The sharp valleys of his disappointment leveled out over the tones of his horn. He closed his eyes and let his fingers float over the keys on their own.
Low, soulful melodies came from his heart, floating through the saxophone as he played. When he turned, Renae stood in the doorway, her hand resting on her barely protruding belly. He segued into Brahm’s Lullaby without thinking, and watched her eyes fill with an emotion he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Pride? Yearning? A small wistful smile tugged at her lips, and he almost walked closer to her but stopped himself.
He had a purpose here. He should be playing for the baby, introducing it to music in the womb. He could do this for the baby, and if the look in Renae’s eyes was anything to go by, it wouldn’t make her mad at him. He was supposed to be here for the baby. Not himself. Not for fancy presents. He wasn’t trying to get laid or trying to wedge himself into their lives. He just wanted to be a part of the baby’s development.