by Brett, Cal
Looking at herself in the mirror she saw that her face had taken on a harder look than she recalled. Her eyes had a seriousness about them and the lines of her cheeks seemed more severe. Gone were the soft features and girlish dimples she recalled from the last time, years ago, when she had sat at a dressing table.
She wondered if she also saw sadness, but determined that wasn’t it. After a few minutes it came to her. It was the empty look she remembered seeing in pictures of people living in combat zones and places where they were starving and without hope. She realized that’s how she felt inside. Empty.
She tried to think of the last time she had had any real hope. Every day since Roy vanished had been about survival. Life was lived minute to minute with no time to think about things getting better in the future. She felt like her soul had gone to the bottom of a dark place and forgotten how to find its way back out into the sun. She tried to remember who she was before, but even that seemed impossibly long ago.
‘I’m not that girl anymore,’ she thought, ‘but I’m not going to be a frightened animal who runs and hides for the rest of my life either.’
“Rob,” she whispered to his reflection on the couch. “We are getting up and out when you are better. We’re going to make a life. Get well, Rob because we are not going to just survive, we are going to live… And I can’t do it without you.”
Kelly limped back to the lounge chair and closed her eyes.
Robbie chased his older brother Roy through the thick mist. They moved across the rooftops in a slow jog, dodging rusted air conditioner units and tufts of growth that had sprouted from the dirt on the softening platform. It was dark but they had been this way before, so he felt safe following along their previous route. The moss and undergrowth absorbed the sound of their footsteps which lessened concerns that anything in the streets below might hear and follow their movements. Ahead he could see Roy’s silhouette as he reached the ladder mounted to the side of the warehouse.
“Roy, wait!” Robbie called as he watched his brother swing around onto the steel rungs.
Roy paused and signaled for Robbie to hurry up. He then started to descend.
“Wait!” Robbie called again as Roy began to disappear downward. Robbie increased his pace and bounded over a small bush as he aimed toward the ladder.
He cleared the bush easily and still had his eyes on the ladder when his left foot touched down on the soft earth. His foot sank deep into the thick sediment and he felt himself stumbling forward. He brought his other foot down heavily to keep from sinking deeper into the muck. But, rather than help with his balance, this caused a loud crash and he felt himself falling. He knew immediately that he must have sunk through a weak spot in the roof and reached out his arms to stop from going down further.
“Roy!” he shouted loudly as he felt himself sinking.
When his hands met the earth, rather than stopping him, they sank right through as if it were an empty crust. The surface flashed by and something hit him hard in the head. He found himself in darkness with flashes of light glittering around him as he seemed to rocket through space. As his body spun, he caught a glimpse of the floor in the moonlight. It was a long way down, a really, long way down and his heart lurched as the surface came at him like a fly swatter.
Robbie thought he would die when he hit but he saw the moment of impact, heard the slap of his body meeting the ground, felt the pain as if he were being punched everywhere at once, and choked as the air was forced out of his lungs. He even felt himself bounce back up as his body jerked from the assault. Then falling again, as tendrils of agony bolted through his head and neck. Only this time, he fell into a dark pool where the pressure squeezed out the last of his air and prevented him from drawing in another breath. In those milliseconds of dark, airless, descent he braced for the next impact.
In Kelly’s dream, Trent was again stabbing her in the belly. She could only stand there as he worked the knife in and out of her. He had that cruel smile on his face as he drove the blade all the way in to its hilt, and back out again. Somehow, she knew it was a dream but was unable to move, or run away. The wound burned with pain as blood gushed from her stomach, spraying all over Trent’s hand and splattering droplets up onto his face.
“How do you like that?” He asked cruelly.
“It hurts,” she said to him, matter of fact, as if it weren’t obvious.
Trent just laughed, enjoying her torment. He stepped back to admire his work and howled like a wolf. Using the bloody knife, he pointed at her and began telling her something, but his words were swallowed up by the dream. She strained harder to hear him, but didn’t understand.
Until he shouted, “Roy!”
Kelly jerked awake just in time to see Robbie lurch up from the couch across from her, mewling with the most inhuman moan she had ever heard! She leapt up onto the back of her lounge chair and grabbed her heavy bow staff. Frightened by his sudden reanimation, she drew the staff back and prepared to crush Robbie’s skull.
The room was lit by a few candles and she watched intently as he jerked and floundered in the shadows of the couch. Her heart sank and her eyes began to tear as she realized what was likely to happen. Her mind ran through the scenario; he would stop twitching, only to turn and look at her with dead eyes. Then he would lurch up at her with hate and malice and when he got close she would bash in his head.
‘What would I tell the old ladies,’ she wondered, and quickly decided ‘the truth’. Surely they would believe that he had died and come back. He wasn’t doing well. He had been out for almost two days. They had only been able to drip small amounts of water into his mouth. That’s probably why they had locked them in there, she reasoned, so when he came back he couldn’t get out.
“Oh crap, Robbie,” She whispered almost in tears, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
Robbie flopped back on the couch and groaned. But he didn’t move and made no effort to rise up again. Kelly stared suspiciously, the zombies usually woke up hungry and pissed off.
“Robbie?” She stage whispered across at him with her staff still ready to swing.
“Uggh!” came the reply but there was no additional movement, no attempt to rise again from the couch. He just lay there.
The way he was sunken into the old cushions and draped in shadow, Kelly couldn’t tell if he was still breathing, or not. After a few moments of silence Kelly slinked down off the chair and set her foot on the ground as softly and quietly as possible. The recliner seemed to sigh in relief as she brought her other foot down and removed her full weight from its arms. She looked over at Robbie to see if he, or it, had noticed the sound. His body didn’t move, so she took a tentative step towards him. As she eased forward she kept her staff up, ready to swing, and concentrated on closing the gap between them with the stealth of a ninja. When she was within the length of her staff she stretched it out and jabbed him in the ribs then quickly jerked back, ready to strike out.
Looking for any sign of movement, she was ready for him to leap up and come ferociously scrambling after her. But there was nothing, so she leaned over and jabbed him again.
“Ow!” Robbie croaked.
Kelly’s eyebrows went up. “Robbie?”
“Whaaat?” He said in a breathy, pained voice.
“Oh my god! Robbie, is that you?” She blurted, not quite ready to believe it.
“Yes,” he responded, “please stop poking me. It really hurts.”
“Oh, thank god,” Kelly stammered in relief. All of the tension drained out of her and she dropped the staff down to her side before scrambling over to him. “Are you ok? I mean, how do you feel?”
“Hurts,” Robbie spoke the single word with a stutter.
“Where?” She asked, “where hurts?”
“Everywhere,” he answered.
“Ok, ok. Just a sec,” Kelly said as she bounded over to the door and started knocking on its solid wood frame. “Ms. Sunshine! Ms. Beatrice! Come quick! He’s awake! Robbie is awake!”
>
When she scrambled back to Robbie’s side he turned his head and she could see his eyes were normal, not the milky white of the undead.
“Where?” he groaned.
“It’s ok,” she answered and in her excitement at his being alive the story came spilling out uncontrolled. “We’re safe. We’re with these two ladies. They call themselves the Baldwin Sisters, except they really aren’t sisters because one is black and one is white. They ran a produce company but now they don’t but they are still here and they’ve sealed the place up. One is a doctor, I think they both might be doctors, but not the doctor, doctor kind. I mean not medical doctor, like PhD doctor. And they grow their own food. And the walls are really thick. And we’re ok for now…”
Kelly realized she was rambling and wrapped Robbie in a hug before tearfully stammering. “I’m so glad you’re not dead!”
“Me too,” Robbie gasped, “but please, you’re crushing me and it really hurts.”
“Oh, sorry, sorry!” She said letting him go and rising up to sit on her knees next to him.
Robbie noticed she had tears running down her cheeks juxtaposed by a huge smile. “So, I didn’t catch all of that, but I think you said we are safe and something about fresh vegetables?”
Just then, the lock outside clicked and the door swung open. The two Baldwin women stepped down into the basement.
“So, you decided to join us in the world of the living?” Beatrice asked.
“Yes,” Robbie replied, “although, I’m not sure if I had much choice in the matter. Are you the…the…Baldwin sisters Kelly was telling me about?”
“That’s us,” Beatrice said walking over to put a large hand on Robbie’s forehead. “How do you feel?”
“Like I got run over by a train,” Robbie grunted.
“Well that can happen when you take a three story fall, man,” Sunshine said. You’re lucky you landed on soft plowed dirt or you might not have made it.”
Robbie groaned in pain and said, “I don’t feel lucky.”
“Well, you are.” Beatrice consoled him. “Very lucky to be alive. Can you wiggle your toes? How about your fingers?”
When Robbie had performed these feats, she proclaimed that he would be fine. “You are going to be sore for a week or so. You might have a broken rib or two. Nothing we can do about that except wrap you up and keep you still until they heal up.”
“Ok,” he said. “Do you think I could get some water?”
“I’ll get it,” Sunshine announced and shuffled back out the door.
Two weeks later, he was able to sit up and help with simple chores. The “sisters” started bringing him large baskets filled with long green beans. He learned quickly how to get the little round peas from their shells by manually separating them. After doing what his hosts called “shucking” peas for the first few hours, he looked down and saw he had about half a bucket of the little green orbs. He was thinking whoever did this task, of which he was previously oblivious, before the end of civilization, had his full respect. Before then, it had never occurred to him how the little round peas got from the farm and into the cans where he usually found them.
“Hey Robbie,” Kelly walked in carrying a wicker basket, “how are you doing?”
“Ugh!” He replied. “Not so good if that’s another basket of peas to shuck.”
“Sorry, Bro,” she laughed setting them at his feet. “We have to earn our keep, and at least you aren’t out in the greenhouse picking them. My back is killing me.”
“How is it out there?” Robbie asked.
“It’s hard work,” Kelly replied.
“I meant,” Robbie waived his hands, “out there. In the big world.”
“Oh,” Kelly said, “About the same I think. I’ve only been out a few times since we got here. The walls are pretty thick here so you can hardly even hear what’s going on outside. Why?”
“I’d just like to get moving again as soon as we can,” he said.
“Look Robbie, it’s bad out there. It’s been bad out there and it’s going to stay bad out there.” She said, sitting down on the coffee table across from him. “The Sisters really have the right idea.”
“I don’t think I could stay locked inside like this all the time,” Robbie winced as he shifted.
“I mean,” she continued, “doing our own farming is the only way to survive. There are only so many old grocery stores left to raid and the sisters just told me all that stuff expires soon anyway. Even the canned stuff. We can’t stay here forever, and I doubt they would even let us. But, it’s time we stopped thinking day to day and start thinking long term.”
“I thought we were thinking long term,” Robbie answered, “…moving to this new building?”
“That’s just another place to crash.” She looked at him sympathetically. “Yes, maybe it’s safer than before, maybe it’s nicer than before, but it’s not going to help us stay fed. We’re going to have to figure out how to stop scavenging and start providing for ourselves.”
“I don’t think I’m cut out to be a farmer,” Robbie sighed.
“Are you cut out to be a starver?” She fired back sarcastically. “Because that’s what we’re going to be if we don’t start growing our own food.”
She looked at him for some sort of response, but he just stared at her quizzically. “What’s gotten into you?”
“Look,” she said moving closer so that their knees nearly touched, “we’ve been on the run since this thing started. Even back in mid-town, before that dickhead Trent, we were just living day to day. Sleeping in old blankets and eating whatever we could find. I’m tired of that. We need to find a place we can call home and try to live again.”
“What have we been doing?” Robbie asked.
“We’ve been surviving,” Kelly said with a hint of sadness. “We’ve been running and hiding and scrounging and surviving. We need more than that or what’s the point?”
“What about the zombies?” He shook his head. “How can we have a normal life with those things out there?”
“Those things aren’t going anywhere, as far as I can tell, so we just have to learn to live with them.” Kelly replied, “It’s the new normal. They are nasty and evil but, we are smarter and faster than they are. All we have to do is stay away from them and keep them away from us. Look, nobody is coming to save us. Remember when we used to talk about how all we had to do was hide out until the police got everything back under control? And then we would say if we can just survive until the Army gets here? Then everything would be fine?”
“Yea,” Robbie sighed.
“Well the police are all dead and the Army isn’t coming. Nobody is coming to help us. And we have to…” she paused and her eyes misted up “we have to accept that Roy isn’t coming back either. He’s gone just like everyone else. We have to do this ourselves.”
“We don’t know that about Roy,” Robbie argued.
“Look,” Kelly said, “I’m not giving up on Roy either. I’m just saying we don’t know where he is or when we might find him and we can’t sit around waiting. We have to act as if we are on our own and if… when, we find him, so much the better, right?”
Robbie sighed. “Sounds like you have been thinking about this. What do you have in mind?”
“The condo we were scouting has a landscaped courtyard around the pool area that sits about 10 feet above street level,” She said. “There’s a high concrete wall around it. We could pull up the palm trees and decorative stuff and plant vegetables. Maybe even get some chickens and pigs.”
“Animals make a lot of noise,” Robbie countered.
“Fine,” she said, “no animals…yet. But there is enough room we could plant a large garden in the courtyard. And it’s only a mile or so from here so we could set up a trade system.”
“I suppose it makes more sense than running all the time,” Robbie looked into her pleading eyes and knew he would do whatever she wanted. Finally he nodded and asked, “When?”
“Soon!” Kelly leaned in close and looked into his eyes. “You keep healing. As soon as you are up to traveling we will move over there. The sisters have been teaching me how to do basic gardening and said they would give us some seeds and clippings to get started.”
She leaned in and wrapped him in a hug as she kissed him on the cheek. He blushed at feeling her warmth and soft curves pressing against him. He hugged her back and for a moment he wished she would stay there in his arms but she quickly stood up and turned to go. As she walked away he kept his face down hoping she wouldn’t notice the redness.
“I’ll just keep shucking these peas then,” he joked as he watched her walk to the door. She seemed to have more sway to her walk than usual.
“Yep,” she said over her shoulder but stopped and turned at the threshold. “We’ll be out here in the garden if you need anything.” Then she blew him a kiss and walked away.
Robbie sat there a little stunned. She had never looked into his eyes like that. Never hugged him like that. Never blown him a kiss like that. Never shown any interest in him in THAT way. His heart raced and he was at once confused, aroused, and conflicted. He shook his head and told himself he was just imagining things, just pent up since there were no other young women around. He tried to put it out of his mind and focus on the peas but was only minimally successful.
Chapter 11
When Robbie couldn’t bear remaining on the couch any longer, and griped about it enough that Sunshine wrapped his ribs, he started to get up and move around again. Under the Baldwins’ watchful eyes, he was soon shuffling about and working on getting stronger. At first, he only walked around inside the green houses but once he had mastered that, he went outside and maneuvered through the industrial area. The area was fenced in and only open on the front side so there were few of the undead to deal with. Robbie mostly avoided them but he was gradually confident enough to confront and end some of the slower ones.
He began to rise early to practice carrying his pack, swinging his machete, and moving quickly. His fall made him especially careful of where he stepped and at first he found it difficult to focus on the ground while also being aware of what was going on around him. He gradually got better at doing both until he felt more confident in his ability to travel through more hostile areas.