I was numb. I never liked Schiele but I didn't want him dead. All he had to do was hand over that case and none of this would have ever happened. All he had to do was not be afraid of me. But I couldn't blame him for being scared. Everyone was. They had reason to be.
"Is it true what you said about the forums?" I asked Cynthia.
She had disappeared into a dream world and was staring into her husband's gummy eyes like he was the love of her life. He looked like meat now. His eyes reminding me of a school trip I took to an abattoir. We saw the discarded cow heads lined up and their eyes looked the same, like watery jelly, like you could prod them and they'd burst like an abscess.
"Cynthia!"
She jumped and turned to me like she just noticed I was sitting there.
"Did you hear me?"
Despite what was beside us, she smiled. She actually smiled like we were just two regular folks having coffee and I'd made some boring passing remark that deserved nothing more than a vague, insipid smile.
"Sorry, dear I didn't hear you."
"I asked if it was true about the forums."
"Hmmm..."
She entwined her fingers together and hummed to herself.
"A lot has been said on those things. Of course, a lot of things were said by me!"
She erupted into a fit of giggles and slapped the table. It made Schiele's head jump and his tongue rolled out of his mouth. He looked fucking ridiculous.
"Erm, but yeah. The forums," she continued, straightening herself up and clearing her throat. "Girls had been talking for a long time."
"What girls?"
"How should I know? Just... girls. Everyone has a fake name on these things anyway."
"What did they say?"
"That there was some boarding house for runaway girls and miscreants, drug addicts, prostitutes, that kinda thing. They said the girls from there were disappearing but nobody cared because they were transients. It was like they were expected to go missing."
"And you knew that... that I..."
"There was mention that it happened to be where you volunteered. Some people thought you were an angel. A rich boy like you with all your genius projects wanting to help these poor, hopeless souls. But one person suggested you were there for a reason."
"I was."
"That you were using the place like a candy shop. Only it wasn't candy wrappers you were discarding. It was bodies."
I leaned forward and grabbed her hand, pulling it toward me. It was so bony it felt like a crumpled bird between my fingers.
"Who said that?"
"Just one person at first. People thought it was madness but it started getting them thinking."
"Who?"
"I don't know who it really was. Their profile name was Childofgod 666 if you could ever believe that."
The name, it meant nothing to me.
"And you spoke on these forums too?"
"At the beginning, I just lurked. I guess you could say I was looking for adventure, something to get my teeth into. The crime novels weren't doing shit for me anymore. I needed the real thing."
"Like a porn addict who starts treading the streets for hookers?"
"Ha! You got it. Anyway, I started to get a real interest in you and these Broadwood girls and well, I knew who you were from Gustav and I couldn't believe it."
"But then you started to."
"I started to want to believe it," she said. "It was just wild. So, of course, I started doing my own digging, talking to this Childofgod 666 and other people."
"What other people?"
"I don't know. They were just names on a screen but they had so much to say. There were other rumors too. Like how there was a pedophile ring in the city, with powerful men and somehow Broadwood was connected to all of it, that the Waters' House was some kinda hotspot."
Jesus fucking Christ, I thought. This weird old lady had done the work of the entire police department on her own and I had no idea.
"Listen, Cynthia. You're clearly very talented at, erm, research. You really know what you're doing but you will never know everything that happened there."
"Maybe one day you could tell me."
"Maybe..."
I'd make sure that day never came.
"But I want you to know one thing. I started off with good intentions. I didn't kill for fun. I killed because it needed to be done. Think of me as an avenging angel."
She squeezed my hand and pursed her lips.
"Aw, you're an angel alright."
Beside us, the flies buzzed louder but the call of the Tricepthial was louder still. I needed to get to work.
"Cynthia. Thank you."
Picking up the case, I gave it a slap of appreciation.
"There are things I need to do now. Things that will bring life back for once instead of taking it away."
"Wait. Let me help you."
"I don't need help."
"Think of me as avenging apprentice," she said, tugging onto my shirt sleeve. "I'll do whatever you want."
Chapter Five
Berger
"Okay, listen. I'm not gay like you but…"
"Usually when people say I'm not gay but... it means they're pretty gay."
I didn't know what to make of that and so just looked at me shoes. To my right, Mercy was resting his giant head into Cooper's arms with his eyes closed. A picture of pure serenity. I patted his head and felt the softness of his mane and suddenly I was overcome with the urge to own a horse.
"So you have a story," said Cooper with his eyebrows raised so high there were deep wrinkles in his forehead.
"Yeah, like... Erm..."
I didn't want to tell him because I'd never spoken a word of it to anyone before, had barely even acknowledged it to myself but at the same time, it was burning to get out. It was doing things to my body just remembering it and hearing Cooper's own lustful tale had set the mood of divulging secrets and hidden desires."
"Just spit it out, boy."
"That's what he said."
Cooper narrowed his eyes and watched me in silence for a second. Then he burst out laughing and I joined him until my stomach ached. It felt good to have that pain again, the pain of happiness. It had been so long since I'd laughed so hard my insides burned. Once I regained my breath and dabbed at my watery eyes, I turned back to Mercy as though I was talking to him rather than Cooper. Although the old man would accept everything I said, I was still embarrassed. I wondered what the words would sound like coming out of my mouth. I'd never heard them before.
"I sucked dick once," I said.
"Oh? And?"
"And... It was nice."
"That's it? It was nice."
"It was rather nice."
He laughed again.
"Rather nice. Well, ain't that a revelation?"
I turned away from Mercy and looked up at the old man's face.
"Okay, it was bordering on being fucking magical!"
"That's it."
"I've kinda always wanted to do it again but..."
"But..."
"I got married to a girl instead and well, you know how it goes."
He let go of Mercy, fed him a carrot then came over to sit beside me on the hay bale. There was a slight warm breeze filtering in through the wooden slats of the wall and the sun was streaming in like threads of gold. It highlighted the muck on the floor but I wasn't noticing the smell of it anymore because I was smelling him. He was as earthy as the farm but there was a human quality to his scent too, masculine sweat and musk. And something else, something almost herbal.
"So, you gonna tell me this story or was that it?"
I paused, breathed, fidgeted with a loose thread on my jeans and shifted my bottom.
"His name was Jason and he was my sister's boyfriend."
"Ooft!"
"And we were all at this family party. Can't even remember what it was now. Think it may have been one of my cousin's graduations. It doesn't matter. Anyway, we were all getting stoned
and-"
"A cop getting stoned?"
"It happens," I said. "Besides. I wasn't even a cop yet. I was nineteen and working at Target at the time. Living the dream I was. Anyway, it was getting to that point in the night when people were starting to disappear off home and there was noone but a few stragglers hanging around. My sister had gone to bed with a headache earlier that night. Well, that's what she said but I think she was just having one of her moods. She was prone to them. So anyway, after a while I find that it's just me and Jason out in the garden sharing a joint and a beer and looking up at the stars.”
“My uncle collected old cars and there was this shell of a BMW in the garden. A total wreck of a thing that he insisted he was always going to renovate but never did. Think it's still there. Anyway! We were sat on the hood of this thing with the rust sticking to our jeans to the point I remember babbling about how we were gonna need tetanus shots. It was then that he turned to me and totally casually asked if I wanted to hop in the hot tub."
"Nice," grinned Cooper.
"Yeah kinda smooth now that I think back on it. So I just said yeah because why the hell not? It was a warm summer night and I was a little buzzed. Seemed like a nice thing to do. We headed over and I'm scrambling about nervously dropping my jeans and kicking off my boots. I wasn't a stranger to getting undressed in front of other guys, you know, I played football in high school, but I was still weirdly nervous. I think it was because he was an older guy. Like a proper adult and not just some kid in my class."
"An older guy?" asked Cooper, his eyebrows raised to the heavens once again. "How old?"
"Twenty eight."
"Oh, ancient," he chuckled.
"That felt ancient then! He had a proper job in a bank and everything and a mortgage on a house. I was still trying to save up to buy a freakin' Nintendo. So yeah, I'm shuffling about in my boxer shorts, all skinny and gawky and he's this big dude. Before he met my sister he'd been in the army and fitness was his life. It was something that kept up his machismo after having to come home and get a normal job. I remember seeing these huge rippling muscles in his back and thinking he looked like a dinosaur."
Cooper scrunched up his face and recoiled back.
"What? Like dinosaurs are sexy?"
"Well no but like, he was just so big and I remember thinking he was like some beast, okay? So I'm all nervous and just about to climb in the water when without a care in the world, he just gets butt naked. Just drops his boxers to the ground and stands there with his cock just looking at me."
"Was it big?"
Cooper was getting some color in his cheeks now and his forehead was all shiny. He was coming out of his shell, becoming his real, happy self as he could actually have the conversation he always wanted to have but couldn't with anyone else.
"It wasn't long but it was real fat," I said.
"Those are my favorite," he replied with a lick of his lips that made my stomach flip.
I was suddenly very acutely aware that he had done things with that tongue that had brought immense pleasure to someone and I found myself, against my inner conflict, wondering what that pleasure would feel like.
"So you get naked too?" asked Cooper.
"No. I just slid into the water and carried on drinking my beer."
"Aaw, spoil sport."
"Shut up."
I shoved him playfully and to my surprise, he giggled. Real weird seeing an old man giggle.
"So he's just watching me and I remember his eyes getting real intense like he was trying to tell me something telepathically. It was that strange and intense. It was then that I saw his cock floating in the water. I say floating because it was hard and it was just sticking out the bubbles like a periscope. He asked me if I'd ever seen a hard dick in real life before and I shook my head. My head was all over the place at this point and my cheeks were on the brink of catching fire but I couldn't look away from this fat as fuck penis that was pointing right at me.”
“Then he started asking me other questions like how often I masturbated and how much I watched porn. He asked me if I ever liked to watch guys fuck each other and I told him I'd never thought of that before. He told me he'd fucked loads of guys when he was in the army and that he still wanted to now. There were butterflies in my stomach pretty much breakdancing at that moment and it was then, when I couldn't get any redder, that he took in a gulp of air and sank beneath the water."
"The next thing I felt was his hands on my thighs ad his tongue poking its way inside my boxers. He... sucked on my balls and I grew hard immediately. It was just for a second then he was coming back up for air and laughing. He asked me if I liked it and I couldn't respond. I just stared at him, stunned. He said he wouldn't continue if I didn't like but I still couldn't speak. All I could do was just watch this beast in the water and up close he seemed like a giant. He asked if he could touch me and I nodded. He asked me if I was sure and believe it or not, I was sure. I wanted him to touch me.”
“He wrapped his hand around my cock and started pumping away and it felt so good I was almost crying and I remember melting into the water so much I nearly drowned. I shot out this huge load and saw my cum float to the top of the water and all the while Jason was making these grunting sounds and telling me how gorgeous I was."
Cooper's eyes were on fire. I could tell he was taking in everything I was saying and storing it up in his head for later use.
"Then Jason told me I had to return the favor. I was still recovering from the hardest orgasm of my life when he lowered my head and slipped his dick between my lips and instinctively I just knew what to do. It felt so good to have him inside me and even better hearing his moans. He came in about five seconds."
"Aaw."
"And then we were done."
"Aw, really? Five seconds."
"Yup," I nodded. "Then, like, literally twenty seconds after it was over, my aunt comes out and starts talking to us as though everything was normal. She even perched on the side of the pool as she rattled on about church happenings and idle gossip, all the while not realizing she was only inches away from my floating cum and that we were both naked in front of her. When she went back inside, staggering drunk into the kitchen, we were both howling with laughter. Then we finished our beer, got dried and dressed and never spoke about it again."
"That's crazy."
"It is, right? He's still married to my sister and they have four teenage children. I still see him around at family functions and he never says a word about it, never even looks at me funny. It's just like it never happened and that suits me fine."
"That's one helluva story, kid."
"Yep."
I fell silent again. Spilling that out had felt like I'd just had some sort of emotional colonic irrigation. Like I was all light and airy inside. But it was then that I noticed that reliving the moment had given me a raging erection and it was pressing up hard against the inside of my jeans. I was overcome with the instant urge to masturbate. It was like I had to jerk it out or die.
"I need to head inside," I declared, standing up with a ridiculous abruptness that took Cooper aback. "I could do with a coffee."
"Okay then," said Cooper, watching me leave. "Want me to join you?"
There was a glint in his eye. The same glint Jason had.
"Nope!"
Chapter Six
Lincoln
"Cynthia, I thought you were nuts the first time I saw you but now I'm positive you're a fucking maniac."
"Just like you," she said.
I thought for a second. The idea of being just like her made me ill.
"No, nothing like you."
"Linx, we're just like each other now. Can't you see that?"
"No."
I picked up the case of Tricepthial and made my way toward the basement. There was something I urgently needed to do. Something that she wasn't allowed to be privy to.
"Where are you going?" she gasped, chasing after me.
"Away from you."
"Don't be like that! I did you a favor here. I got you what you wanted."
She had a point but she still repulsed me. Before I knew it, she was right behind me, hovering over my shoulder as I descended the stairs.
"Cynthia. I'll get the jet to take you back home and I'll pay you anything you want but I think it's time you left now."
"Linx, no."
"Cynthia, yes. I have work here and you don't want to be a part of it."
"But can't you see that I do!"
We were now entering the lab. The smell overpowered us for a moment, silenced us with its oppression. All the ice had melted now and there was a thick film of greasy water across the floor. Wires sparked at the edge of the room, threatening to short circuit my entire lab. Fuck, I thought. This place is a mess. It's beyond a mess. It's a catastrophe.
Thinking back to my old laboratory back in Normont that never had a speck of dust, never had a single item out of place or a wire left tangled. What had I become? Out of everything that had disgusted me, this was somehow the worst because it meant I had dropped the high standards that made me the powerful man I was now. Although that power was now fading along with my reputation.
"I can help you down here," said Cynthia.
She was behind me, mopping the water from the floor making sure to work her way around Etta. Watching her for a moment, I wondered how long she was going to keep up this ridiculous performance. Did she actually think she was worthy of being down here in my lab, working with me when she hadn't the faintest idea what she was doing? She was just about as educated in science and technology as a field mouse.
Yet still, she mopped the floor, rang out the water into a bucket then dried the tiles. When the ground was dried out, she knelt down and carefully lifted Etta's face like a mother lifting a baby out its cot.
"Don't touch her!" I fumed.
But she continued to brush the hair from Etta's eyes. Gently, she placed her back into the box, brushed her hair out with her fingers until it was neat then retrieved the sheet that once covered her. With great care, she tucked her in so that once again, she looked as though she was sleeping.
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