by Jill Myles
“I’m not good for you this way. You said yourself that I protect you from too much, and it’s true. That’s part of my nature, to guard you and protect you. You’re an adult, and immortal—you’re free to make your own choices, not have them crammed down your throat by my actions.”
My throat locked, any protest I might make dying in my throat.
“I wasn’t lying when I said we needed time away from each other,” he said, his voice firm. “We do. There is business that I’ve neglected, and it’s time I took care of it once and for all. Zane can help you with your needs.”
“Oh yeah?” I bristled, irritated that he was deciding everything for me once more. “What about your needs?”
His mouth twisted, becoming a little hard and bitter. “There’s always Delilah.”
I recoiled as if slapped. “So that’s what this is? You’re throwing me over for that jailbait because you think that’s what’s best for me ? Is this all to get back at me because I won’t wear your ring?”
I moved back in the bed, reached between the mattresses and pulled out his hated Da Vinci, and held it out to him. “Don’t forget your precious picture of Rachael, Noah. Wouldn’t want you to lose that,” I said angrily. “Heaven forbid someone forget what she looked like.”
He took the painting from me with gentle fingers, his eyes caressing it with the expression of someone that held far, far too much affection. For her. Everything was always for her.
It hurt. “Once again, it all boils down to that woman, doesn’t it?”
The expression on Noah’s face grew shuttered. “You won’t make a decision, and I can’t stand to see you in his arms, so the only other choice I have is to pull myself out of the equation entirely. If you won’t commit to me, it isn’t fair for me to remain here and try to bend you to my will.” He gave me one last kiss on the forehead, then said softly against my skin, “You’ve already chosen, Jackie. We both know this.”
I did know it. I knew it in my heart, even though I wanted to protest. I was frozen in place, unable to move lest he remove his mouth and disappear out of my life forever.
“Say it, Jackie.”
The world seemed to move in slow motion as I spoke, hating myself as I did. “Zane can’t live without me. You can.”
Noah’s mouth thinned into a hard line, his eyes going flat. “The fact that you believe that tells me everything I need to know. Good-bye, Jackie.” He touched my cheek. “Don’t follow me.”
He left the room, tucking the painting under his arm.
“Fine, then,” I shouted after him. “Leave me! I don’t care. I don’t need you!”
Silence. The world swam in front of my eyes, spun queasily as I tried to process what had just happened.
Noah had left me.
My rock, my angel, my protector—he’d given up on me.
Zane can’t live without me. You can.
Why had I said something so stupid? I must have wanted to hurt him like he was hurting me.
The fact that you believe that tells me everything I need to know. Good-bye, Jackie.
Damn it. And damn him for making me feel guilty. Hitching the sheet up, I opened the bedroom door and headed down the hall, and stairs. If this was a guilt trip, I wasn’t going to fall for it.
But Noah’s things were gone. The living room was empty. The driveway was empty of his car.
He’d left. And I couldn’t follow him because he’d commanded me not to.
I screamed in rage, my hands fisting in the sheet. “You bastard!”
He’d really, really left.
Remy and Ethan raced into the room, staring at the sight of me. “Jackie? What is it?” Remy asked.
“Noah left me,” I snarled, my hands wrapped in my toga so tightly the fabric began to rip. “He said it was for my own good. Do you believe that asshole?”
“He left?” Delilah popped in from around the corner, car keys in hand. She was trying very hard to keep her face straight but was having a difficult time keeping her smile tamped down. I stared at her as she gave me an apologetic little smile and wave. “My, look at the time. I really should be going. I’m just going to …” She gestured at the front door, then ran for it.
Dee and Noah. I shrieked in rage again.
“Oh dear,” said Remy.
“I’ll get the ice cream,” said Ethan.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
“You sure you’re up for this?” Remy asked as we drove toward James’s subdivision. “I can just pop in and get it if you want to.”
“That’s okay,” I said, putting on a brave face. “I made my decision, right? This day was bound to come someday.”
“Noah Gideon is a good man,” Ethan said from the backseat. “I am disappointed that you sent him away, Jackie Brighton.”
Yeah, well, at the moment I wasn’t feeling too keen about it, either.
As we pulled up to a stop sign, she frowned over at me. “I wanted to ask you about that.” I winced in anticipation. “You picked Zane over Noah? Are you on drugs? Untrustworthy vampire over rich Serim? Am I the only one who sees the problem with this scenario?”
“I see the problem with this scenario,” Ethan chimed in helpfully.
I turned to glare at Ethan. “Stop it. I’m not crazy, Remy … I just … it’s hard to explain.”
“Hard to explain?” She cocked her head and gave me an exasperated look. “To a porn star succubus who recently had a tiny possession issue? I’d say I’m game.”
I looked down at my hands in my lap and shrugged. “I told Noah he didn’t need me, and Zane did.”
Her screech was loud enough to make the car windows in the car vibrate. “You did what?”
“I might have not thought it through,” I confessed.
She stared at me with curious eyes. “Jackie, hon. Are you in love with Noah? Or Zane?”
That was the million-dollar question. I looked down at my lap and gave a heavy, deflated sigh. “I should be in love with Noah, right? He’s a good man, good to me, rich, handsome, kind, caring, considerate, thoughtful—”
“But?”
I swallowed hard, allowing myself to admit the truth. “I love Noah, but I’m not in love with him. I think I’m in love with Zane.” Even though he was totally wrong for me and had used me to get his way, I still wanted him. And I still wanted to be with him, more than anything.
It was stupid and wrong.
Ethan sighed.
Remy sighed as well. “You are?”
“I am,” I said, a wondering sense of emotion filling me like it had yesterday when I’d freed his wings. “Only I didn’t realize it until just now. I’m mad at him and furious that he’s used me to replace someone else—that hurts me more than I can think about. I don’t know where that leaves us, but I know that if he walks out of my life again, I won’t be able to stand it.”
“And Noah?” she asked. “He just walked out of your life. How does that make you feel?”
“Like the world’s worst person ever,” I admitted, wringing my hands in my lap. “I love Noah, but it’s not the same desperate sort of need that I feel when I’m around Zane. Noah’s like a warm, fuzzy blanket. Zane makes my pulse race and my heart pound.” I glanced over at her. “You think I’m a bad person for choosing between them, don’t you?”
“I do not approve,” began Ethan, but he stopped at a glare from Remy.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” she said. “It’s their own fault—they didn’t want to share you. They have to be happy with whatever you decide. It’s your life. No man is allowed to control it.” She gave Ethan a pointed look. “You belong to you.”
It was a little weird that she felt the need to make that point to him. What had gone on with them?
Ethan spoke up. “Perhaps the man only had her best interests at heart. Perhaps the succubus should not be so selfish with her favors.”
Oookay. Clearly they weren’t talking about me anymore.
“I was happy with both of them, but Noah wants more
than I can give him,” I interrupted. “He wants to protect me from the world, and I think it’s time that I start to take my own lumps, for better or for worse.”
Remy nodded. “I hear you. Noah’s a big boy—he’ll recover.” She cast a glance to the backseat. “People should be free to do whatever they want.”
“Remiza,” Ethan began.
She put a hand up. “Don’t want to hear it.”
I finally asked, “Did something happen that I should know about?”
Remy gave me a meaningful, I’ll-tell-you-later look. “Nope. Besides, we’re talking about you and Noah. You’re fine, kid. I promise. Let him sulk for a while and get it out of his system.” She turned into James’s neighborhood.
That was good to hear, because right now I felt as if I had lost my best friend. “I’m fine. Really. Promise.”
“Awesome,” she said. “Then let’s go get our djed-thing from the old pervert.”
I nodded, glancing around us. “Odd that there’s no traffic,” I said, keeping my voice light.
“Maybe there’s a soccer mom meeting or something. Who knows,” she said.
As soon as we turned down James’s street, I could tell something was seriously wrong. Cars were everywhere. Not just lining the curb and in driveways, but scattered on lawns and stalled in the middle of the street. Doors were left hanging open, as if the passengers had been in a desperate hurry.
Remy parked behind a Jeep Cherokee that was blocking the middle of the road.
“Something’s wrong,” I said, getting out of the car to stare at the abandoned neighborhood. At a nearby house, smoke poured out of a window, and I smelled burning bacon. The front door was wide open. “Where did everyone go?”
“I do not know,” Ethan said, striding ahead. His stance had changed from the easygoing, loping behemoth I usually saw to the tightly coiled muscles of a predator. “Stay behind me.”
Remy moved to the trunk of her car and grabbed the tire iron. Weapon. Good idea. I popped open the glove compartment, searching for anything that might be able to protect me, but all I found was an ice scraper. I took it anyhow, feeling better with something in my hand.
We crept down the deserted street after Ethan, sticking close together. Evening had fallen. I immediately thought of Noah. Had he gotten someplace safe before the dark fell? Delilah would have taken care of him, I was sure. The thought left a sour taste in my mouth, and I forced myself to think of other things. I had made my choice, and I had chosen the vampire. He should be awakening now.
Vampires. Awakening.
I stared at the empty neighborhood. “Oh, shit.”
Remy grabbed my arm, jerking closer to me. “What? What is it?”
“Caleb,” I said. “The sun’s down. I bet he’s the one responsible for all of this.”
She shivered.
“Be careful,” I said to Ethan. “Let’s stay close together, just in case.”
We saw no one else as we went down the empty street, arriving at James’s house just as the streetlights came on. Remy and I paused at the end of the driveway, clutching our makeshift weapons. Nothing seemed out of place but then, James’s house had looked derelict earlier this morning.
“Should we enter?” I asked, uncertain.
“I will go in and investigate, Jackie Brighton.” Ethan gave Remy a quick glance, his eyes flashing in a feeding frenzy of good deeds. “Succubi, you stay here and watch yourselves.”
“And what if something bad happens to you?” Remy said, irritated. “How long are we supposed to stay out here?”
“If I do not come out in a half hour, leave without me,” he said, his face grave.
“Why? What’s the point in that?” I asked. “We need the djed to bring Caleb down. If we don’t, we’re going to have to confront him again tomorrow, or the next day. And in the meantime, he’ll just keep killing more people. He’s already killed a dozen vampires.”
Ethan frowned at us. “You will stay out here because I command it.”
I shook my head. “You’re not the master of either of us. I like you, Boy Scout, but there’s some things that you shouldn’t take on alone.”
Remy hefted the tire iron. “We might as well go in with him.”
She had a point. A scary, scary point. I swallowed hard. “I’m thinking we should go in together, yes.”
Ethan shook his head, his big shoulders bracing to disagree. “If there is something wicked in that house—”
“Other than that old pervert,” Remy added.
“—then I will need all my senses about me.” Ethan gave us his best stern warrior look. “If you are out here, I do not have to worry about your safety while I fight.”
“But you can’t take down Joachim,” I said. The archangel’s rampaging spirit had the power of twelve vampires and God knew how many mortals, if they even counted. Ethan was big and strong, but he didn’t stand a chance against the Big Bad inside Caleb.
“If I die, I will die protecting you,” he said in a cool voice, but his eyes flashed repeatedly.
“Martyrdom is not sexy,” snapped Remy. “So don’t think you have either of us fooled.”
“It is not martyrdom.” He touched Remy’s cheek. “I have enjoyed getting to know you, Remiza.” And before she could respond, he turned and moved stealthily toward James’s house.
I leaned over to Remy, both of us watching Ethan as he snuck up on the house. “So what exactly happened between you two? You guys are being totally weird.”
“Nothing,” she said in a sullen voice.
“Okay, goo—”
“Maybe a little sex. Just a little.”
“Just a little?”
“On the hood of the rental car.”
I resisted the urge to hit her with the ice scraper. “I told you to leave him alone! He’s innocent, Remy!”
She waved a hand at me, dismissing my concerns. “Please. Your boy wonder wanted it just as much as I did. And besides, have you seen the size of that man’s equipment—”
I moaned and put a hand up, cutting her off. “I do not want to know!”
But now I was picturing it. And getting turned on. I hated my friends sometimes.
“Anyhow, long story short, we do it, and he’s kind of quick and to the point, but the equipment makes up for it,” Remy said. “So I thought, that’s that, right? Little did I know that he was going to get all possessive and stuff. I shouldn’t dress like this. I shouldn’t speak like this. I shouldn’t do this. I shouldn’t do that. I should let him walk in front of me to protect me, blah blah blah blah.” She rolled her eyes, clearly exasperated. “I’ve had four hundred years of men telling me what to do, and I’m not going to let some sexy dweeb with a ten-inch dick—”
I groaned.
“—tell me what to do with myself! Can you imagine! He’s only twenty-eight! Scarcely a baby.”
“And a virgin,” I added helpfully. “You totally deflowered him.”
She snorted, hand on hip. “That explains his staying power. He’s lucky that I can get off with a good power stroke—”
“What is this, TMI day? Jeezus, Remy!”
Crash! The entire house shook.
I clutched Remy’s shoulder. “That didn’t sound good.”
Remy pulled the tire iron close to her chest. “Do you think Ethan is okay in there?”
Crash! One of the house numbers swung on its nail and fell to the porch.
“I’m going to guess that’s a no,” I said. “Come on. He might need our help.” I gripped my ice scraper and headed toward the house.
After all, succubi couldn’t die, I told myself. We could just hurt … a lot …
Remy and I crept onto the porch. The front door was ajar slightly, and the lights were off inside. There was a faint coppery scent in the air that I didn’t like, but some things were better off not discussed.
My fellow succubus didn’t seem in a rush to enter the house, so I took point, moving forward. I gave the door a nudge and watched it swing
open. The interior was pitch dark, and I could hear nothing. Fear pounding in my throat, I reached inside for the light switch.
It flicked on.
Remy began to gag.
The entire living room was covered with wall-to-wall bodies. They were heaped on top of the furniture and covered every inch of the floor. I swallowed hard, repeatedly. Dear God. They’d all been murdered. “Now we know where the neighbors went to.”
“I think we need to find you a better weapon,” Remy whispered, then gagged. “Gross, I think I just saw someone’s pet.”
Still swallowing, I edged inside, going toward the kitchen. “James’s cat?”
“No,” she said, putting the back of a hand to her mouth. “A dog. Don’t ask me to show you.”
“Don’t worry.” I tiptoed into the kitchen and found it still cluttered with dishes and gadgets. I picked through a pile of crap as quietly as possible, looking for a knife, then pulled out a few drawers. Nothing. I frowned, thinking hard. His basement had been full of artifacts and gadgetry. I’d find something to use as a weapon there.
Of course, if I were a psychotic, possessed vampire intent on world domination, that’s also where I’d be waiting for more victims. So that was out.
A shout filled the house, and Ethan shot past us, his body punching a hole through the wall and disappearing out into the front lawn. Remy crawled under the dining room table, which was covered in stacks of old newspapers and dust. That seemed like a good idea, so I crawled under after her, waiting to see what was coming.
A thump, and then another. Remy clutched my hand and we huddled together as footsteps approached, neither of us daring to move.
Blood-spattered boots stopped not three feet away, and I clutched my scraper tighter. A body dropped heavily to the floor in front of us. Remy and I jumped, her squeak of distress hastily smothered by my hand clamping over her mouth, and we stared at James’s dead, broken form.
Then Caleb crouched down to look under the table, grinning at us. His eyes were bright red and the look on his face was wild. “Heard you girls were looking for a magic staff. I thought I’d help you along with matters.”