His laughter fell to titters, then chuckles that only shook in his chest. Leaning his elbow out of the open window and running the pads of his fingers over his lips, he cut a look at her. “Thank you, Veda.”
She shot her big eyes to him. “For what? For cutting off circulation in your arm from the Red Rover grip I had on it in the hallway? If the blood doesn’t start flowing again by tomorrow morning, make sure you drop by the hospital. I’ll see to it they don’t charge you for whatever medical care you may need.”
His smile grew with each word she said. “You’re a terrible decoy, but regardless of whether I’ll need medical attention tomorrow, there’s no denying I’d have never stepped foot on that ship at all if it hadn’t been for you. So thank you.”
She couldn’t help a smile. Her eyes searched his face. “I know how important it is for you to find her. It’s become important to me too. Even though you never talk about her, just being around you, seeing how angry you get sometimes, how hard it is for you to talk about her… I don’t know, it feels like I know her.” She seemed to think about it. “Well, maybe not like I know her, but like I know how much you guys loved each other. How much she loved you.”
His eyes gleamed with borderline warning as he considered her from the corners of them, but he didn’t break their gaze.
Veda’s voice lowered. “We can only love someone else that much when we know they truly loved us the same way in return, right? She must’ve been a really incredible woman.” She took a deep breath when he didn’t respond. “You don’t have to say anything. I’m just speaking out loud.” She looked down at her lap, feeling his eyes burning into her cheek, and seeing from the corner of her own when he broke his gaze away.
He looked out the window. “Everyone used to say she jumped.”
Veda’s gaze shot toward him. She wanted to respond but didn’t dare. She’d never dare interrupt him when he was accidentally spilling his heart out. Because it surely was an accident in his world. Every time. Something he would probably wake up the next morning and regret.
“Everyone.” He smiled out the windshield. “Made me see red. By the time the fifth guy caught a fist to the mouth, they finally stopped.”
“Fists to the mouth can be very persuasive.” Shut up, Veda, let the man speak!
He smirked, cheeks heating gently. “Yeah.”
Damn it. She’d ruined it. He was quiet once more, thanks to her big fucking mouth. God only knew how much more he’d have had to say if she hadn’t jumped in.
Not wanting to lose the moment, she turned to him. “Your mom is seriously—” She rolled her eyes at the sound of his exasperated laugh. “—the cutest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”
“You’ll get to know her better,” he countered.
“How was the AA meeting you guys went to the other day?”
“Slightly more bearable than the last one.”
“Do you guys go for her or for you?” Veda still had the bronze chip Linc had given her ten years ago, the chip he’d told her had belonged to his mother, so she already knew the answer. Or part of the answer, anyway.
“She spent the first eight years of my life self-medicating. Guess I picked up a few tricks.” He paused, meeting her eyes. “We go for me, and for her.”
Veda didn’t want to pry, so she didn’t, resting her head on the seat of the car. “That’s good.”
He motioned to her. “Now you’ll ask me why she self-medicated for eight years. And I’ll tell you it was due to the devastation she endured at the hands of my father.” He took a deep breath. It trembled. “Then you’ll ask me what my father did to cause her so much pain. And I’ll say it was probably the fact that he savagely raped her and left her for dead.” He met her eyes just as he swallowed back the lump in his throat, his voice lowering as his gaze fell to her lips. “Then you’ll tell me how sorry you are that I ended up with such a piece of shit for a dad, and I’ll tell you that you have nothing to be sorry for because I never knew the son of a bitch anyway.”
Veda curled her legs into the seat, balling herself up as tight as she could go. She didn’t dare say another word, fearing she’d derail him again when he clearly had some things to get off his chest.
“Then you’ll ask me if it’s true, what all those nurses at the hospital say.” He licked his own lips as he continued studying hers. “You’ll ask me if it’s really been five years.”
Veda’s lips fell open softly.
He lifted his hooded eyes back up to hers.
Silence.
His chest expanded. He looked away. For a long moment, his green eyes gleamed under the streetlight. Then his head dipped down, he laughed softly into his lap, and the jingle of his keys filled the air as he lifted them and guided them to the ignition. “Let’s get you home.”
Veda jolted, stunned when the engine roared to life, vibrating the seat beneath her. “Wait. We don’t have to go.”
He lifted his eyebrows high. “Yeah, we do.” He put the truck in reverse and turned to look out the back window as he pulled out. “We really do.”
Veda didn’t have to ask why they needed to leave just when they were beginning to bond for the first time.
She understood completely.
The rest of the drive elapsed in silence.
Not accidentally, but completely and utterly on purpose.
25
Veda nibbled her nails from her seat on the second-story balcony of Dante’s bar. In the far distance, past the marina where hundreds of smaller boats floated, past the tourists littering the sidewalks, and past the sprawling hill that always screamed of poverty and degradation, the Celeste floated away. Her horn sounded repeatedly in her retreat, a gift for the residents who always came to watch her set sail once a month. In just minutes, the massive liner was but a speck of white against the yellow-orange tint left by the setting sun.
Veda waited until the ship was almost out of sight to look across the white table on the bar’s balcony.
“The City on the Sea,” Veda said, sharing a roll of her eyes with Hope.
Hope took a sip of her red cocktail across the table. “Rich assholes on that ship are living better than half the kids on that hill.” She nodded toward the sprawling hill behind Veda. Beyond the glass enclosure of the bar’s balcony, the hill was in full view. Colorful shacks canned in like sardines from the bottom stretching all the way to the top. The especially dangerous area, the hill’s peak, was hidden by the thick cloud of fog that always rolled down from the top. As if the crime and poverty didn’t exist so long as the clouds were there to hide it away from Shadow Rock’s elite, who continued putting on the country club golf course just two streets down from the hill.
“Tell me about it,” Veda grumbled, taking a sip of her vodka cranberry. The sweet and bitter tastes mixed on her tongue and carried her away from her thoughts. “I still can’t believe how different it is from when we were kids. Remember when the rich wouldn’t come within two miles of this area? Now it’s crawling with chain restaurants and you have to fight over the last table at the bar.” Her eyes lifted to the large red umbrella above their table. Top 40 music pounded from the bar’s speakers. The establishment’s owner, Dante, was busy behind a bar full of tourists who never stopped piling in. His dark brown skin glowed even as the sun said its final good-bye, and just like his half-sister, he had a gleaming smile for everyone. A smile impossible not to return.
Hope watched Dante, nodding toward him. “Only a matter of time before they push him out too. God forbid a black guy owns a business on a marina monopolized by the Blackwaters.”
“Nah,” Veda said. “Dante’s half-sister is a Lockwood. I doubt they’ll bother him.” Veda lifted an eyebrow. “Having said that, you’re right. He should probably watch his back. Once they get bored and decide to turn on each other, I’m sure he will be the first on the chopping block.”
Hope chortled, took a sip of her drink, and nodded toward her. “Castrated that piece of shit who’s blackmailing
you yet? Or even better… killed him yet?”
Veda looked around to make sure nobody was close enough to hear before smiling at Hope. “You sound just like Jake. Nobody is getting killed. And at this rate, nobody’s getting castrated either.” Her shoulders collapsed. “Jax knows everything. I have to stop completely or he’ll never let up. He has too much power over me. He’s completely in control and he knows it. He’ll just keep squeezing me around the neck, tighter and tighter, until he’s taken everything I have to give, including my last breath.” She shrugged. “I think I just have to stop. It’s probably better this way. My secret puts both your and Jake’s lives in danger, just for being on my side. If I ever got caught, I’d be taking you both down with me. I can’t let that happen.” She took a deep breath. “A normal woman speaks to a therapist when she has psychological issues. They don’t go cutting people’s balls out.”
“So you just give up?”
Veda took a moment. Then she shrugged, feeling the defeat tightening her face.
“I won’t let you,” Hope declared.
“Then it’s a good thing I’m not asking your permission.”
“If you really think you have the power to stop… after you’ve already tasted blood…?” Hope scoffed.
Veda’s face fell and she didn’t know how to respond, knowing Hope was right.
“Then the only person you’re fooling is yourself, V. You can’t stop.”
Veda sucked in a breath.
“You won’t stop. You won’t stop until you’ve taken all ten. You’ll find a way to end Jax, just like you did Todd and Eugene, because you won’t be able to sleep at night until you do. I know it, and you know it.”
Veda swallowed thickly and looked away, pretending to be entranced by the bustling sidewalk below.
“All of this is so easily fixable if you just kill the son of a bitch.” Hope leaned in when Veda rolled her eyes. “Do you really think Jax is going to let up at two-fifty? Do you really think he’s going to disappear? He won’t. You just said it yourself. He’ll just keep squeezing. Sounds like it’s time to get him before he gets you.” Hope snapped a finger when a thought crossed her mind. Veda could almost see the lightbulb popping to life above her head. “Maybe that pharmacist kid could lace Jax’s oxy with arsenic.” Her hazel eyes widened and she collapsed back in her seat, considering her own words. “Shit, sometimes I’m so brilliant I scare myself.”
“Well, get over yourself.” Veda chortled. “Jake already put a ten-cent pistol offer on the table.”
“A ten-cent pistol. Even better. I’ve gotta meet this Jake. Seems like a stand-up fucking guy.”
“As sweet as it is that all my friends are willing to commit first-degree murder on my behalf, the answer is, and will always be, no.”
“Then you’re a fucking idiot.”
“Tell me something I don’t know.” Veda sipped her cocktail while looking over Hope’s shoulder. Her eyes widened when she caught sight of Coco making her way through the crowded upper deck. Her long black hair fanned over her shoulders, floating with the breeze, as she lifted a hand to wave.
Veda waved back, causing Hope to look over her shoulder at Coco just as she approached the table.
Coco stopped at the edge, smiling at Hope. “Hi!”
Veda smirked at Coco’s perpetual enthusiasm, especially in the presence of Hope’s perpetual scrutiny. Hope actually glared at Coco, visibly suspicious of the free smiles she handed out like penny candy. Confused by her kindness.
“Coco, pull up a chair,” Veda said with a laugh.
Tugging on the sleeves of her long-sleeve shirt, Coco hurried to the table behind them and asked the people sitting there if she could take their free chair. They nodded with a wave, and in the next moment Coco had pulled up a seat.
“Hope, this is Coco.” Veda motioned between them. “Coco, Hope.”
Coco held out her hand for Hope to shake. Hope gave it a slap, a sideways high-five, and locked their fingers together.
Coco fumbled to keep up with the hood handshake she hadn’t been prepared for, but managed to complete it without embarrassing herself too much.
Hope smacked her gum, nodding toward the tables. “Saw you walk in. Not a dick swinging on this balcony could keep his dog eyes off you. Which one are you taking home tonight, chocolate drop?”
Veda sat tall, grinning when Coco continued to sputter. “Coco is seventeen,” Veda informed Hope, keeping her voice conversational.
“Oh shit.” Hope leaned back in her chair, eyes wide. “My bad. Didn’t mean to corrupt the innocent little cherub.”
Coco rolled her eyes. “No, it’s totally cool. I’m totally fine. For some reason Veda thinks that seventeen years old equates to seven years old. But I’m almost out of high school, so you can say whatever you want around me. I’m good.”
“I beg to differ.” Veda shot Hope a look of warning.
Coco blushed softly, leaning forward on the table, grumbling. “I’m not a kid.”
“You wanna try some of my cocktail?” Hope asked, lifting her drink to Coco. “It’s sweet. You’ll like it.”
“No, she doesn’t want to try some of your cocktail,” Veda said when Coco agreed a little too excitedly. “Did you not hear what I just said? She’s seventeen!” Veda swatted the drink away when Hope tried to hand it to Coco anyway.
Hope reclaimed her drink, sharing a look with Coco, raising her eyebrows with a conspiratorial smile that said Coco was getting a sip of that drink before the night was out, whether Veda liked it or not.
Hope lowered her voice, speaking to Coco as she nodded at Veda. “This one loves to act like she didn’t spend all of high school drunk off her fucking ass.”
Veda kicked Hope’s leg under the table.
“Let the little chocolate drop live a little, that’s all I’m saying.” Hope winked at her. “You sure did.”
Coco’s eyes lit up. “Wait, you knew Veda in high school?” Her voice and eyes both hitched. “Tell me everything! Do you have any embarrassing stories?”
“Do I have any embarrassing fucking stories?” Hope leaned forward as if that was the craziest question anyone had ever asked her.
“Please don’t do this to me again,” Veda begged, not sure she could handle a repeat of what she’d gone through the night Hope had dinner with her and Gage.
Ignoring her, Hope dove right into one of Veda’s most embarrassing stories, with Coco riveted like she was watching the latest installment of Scandal.
Veda’s eyes moved to the glass enclosure of the deck, planning to distract herself with the tourists, people-watching until the embarrassing stories were over.
But then… her gaze latched onto those green eyes. The green eyes that’d been gazing at her across a pickup truck just one night earlier. The green eyes that had almost called everything off when they’d found her curled up in the bed of the truck. The green eyes that had been beside her the night they’d infiltrated the ship floating away in the distance.
Veda sat taller, sucking in a breath as her heartbeat picked up. Neither Hope nor Coco noticed the small wave she gave to the sidewalk outside the bar, too enthralled in stories of her high school misery.
Linc had pulled his hair into a higher bun than usual, just as sloppy as always, sitting just below the crown of his head instead of the nape of his neck. Somehow it seemed to open his face up more than it did when it was lower. It made the secret gleam in his eyes easier for Veda to read, even from the second story of the bar.
He lingered on the sidewalk, playing something between his fingers. The night breeze removed a few strands from his bun, making them waft across his face. It caused his green button-down shirt to dance as well. The shirt matched his eyes perfectly.
Linc turned sideways, the sudden movement forcing the tourists perusing the sidewalks to skip a beat and circle around him. Most of them took a moment to turn to look at him, some visibly disappointed when he didn’t look back.
He lifted his eyebrows at Veda
, his scarred brow jumping a little bit higher, and nodded toward the pier behind him, never breaking their gaze.
Veda shot out of her seat, not even looking at Hope and Coco, though she could hear their conversation come to a gradual halt at Veda’s sudden stand.
“I’ll be right back,” she said.
As she moved away from the table, watching as Linc turned his back and began down the pier of the first level, she distantly heard Hope complaining about what a shitty sense of humor she had. But Veda’s need to defend herself was nowhere near as strong as the need to get down to the first level.
26
The Celeste’s horn still sounded, but her cry was much fainter as Veda stepped out of the bar and onto the busy sidewalk of the marina. She craned her body left and right to avoid running into the tourists littering the sidewalk, her squinted eyes searching the area. When they landed on his leafy-green shirt, moving toward the lighthouse at the end of the long pier, she let her shaky legs guide her toward him.
The sky grew darker by the moment. Lights from the buildings on the marina and the houses on the hill hummed deep yellow, blasting into the night. Even some of the boats glowed where sailors were housed inside, either preparing the boat for departure or returning to port for the night.
The palm trees soaring overhead looked black without the aid of the sun to illuminate their true greenery. Their dark leaves danced with the breeze. Veda kept her eyes on those leaves in an attempt to distance herself from her pounding heart and clammy palms. It worked for a while.
Until she found herself growing closer to that green shirt at the end of the pier. Until that shirt turned to face her and she was met with those equally green eyes. Eyes which she now realized were much more than just green, making the shirt’s beautiful hue pale in comparison.
“Ay.” The corner of Linc’s mouth lifted in a smile, showing a hint of his teeth.
“Hey.” Veda approached him, playing her fingers together the same way he toyed with a piece of paper between his. When she came within a foot of him, she released her fumbling fingers and held her arms open wide.
Purr (Revenge Book 3) Page 19